My heart is so hardened

[Invalidusername]

I fell into a long season of willful sins and when I realized what I was doing I tried to repent of it. I was able to physically repent of my sins in the manner of simply not doing them anymore. I was able to quit my addictions and etc. but my soul still has a void in the inside. I think I even remember a time when I sensed the Holy Spirit left me. I keep praying and praying and interceding but God does not answer. I search for him diligently but he will not be found by me.

When I quit all of my sins it just left a void in my heart. Since I have nothing to replace my sin since God left me, I can't enjoy my victory over sin. I think I have done Hebrews 6 where I cannot ever repent truly from the inside out again. There is a sin unto death and you should listen to the Bible warning about it. It's been 1 year now and I still have no resolution. Almost everyone else I see in the same predicament as me(truly born again and fell away) are in the same state as me feeling spiritually dead.

If you want to give me a story about a backslider who was restored, don't bother because most of those stories are only superficial believers who fell away. I think I am a true born again believer as described in Hebrews 6 and I truly fell away. I don't even feel fear anymore. Just consuming apathy. The second death is here and now.

 

[Lost4words]

The devil rubs his dirty filthy hands when someone decides not to truly trust in God. God is mercy. God is love. Don't give up. Turn to God always. Offer up your sufferings.

I know exactly how you feel friend.

 

[Dave L]

I fell into a long season of willful sins and when I realized what I was doing I tried to repent of it. I was able to physically repent of my sins in the manner of simply not doing them anymore. I was able to quit my addictions and etc. but my soul still has a void in the inside. I think I even remember a time when I sensed the Holy Spirit left me. I keep praying and praying and interceding but God does not answer. I search for him diligently but he will not be found by me.

When I quit all of my sins it just left a void in my heart. Since I have nothing to replace my sin since God left me, I can't enjoy my victory over sin. I think I have done Hebrews 6 where I cannot ever repent truly from the inside out again. There is a sin unto death and you should listen to the Bible warning about it. It's been 1 year now and I still have no resolution. Almost everyone else I see in the same predicament as me(truly born again and fell away) are in the same state as me feeling spiritually dead.

If you want to give me a story about a backslider who was restored, don't bother because most of those stories are only superficial believers who fell away. I think I am a true born again believer as described in Hebrews 6 and I truly fell away. I don't even feel fear anymore. Just consuming apathy. The second death is here and now.

If you did a Hebrews 6, you wouldn't be concerned in the least. The fact that you are concerned means you're still with us. The joy returns as you act out in unconditional love for others and stop obsessing over self.

 

[Invalidusername]

If you did a Hebrews 6, you wouldn't be concerned in the least. The fact that you are concerned means you're still with us. The joy returns as you act out in unconditional love for others and stop obsessing over self.

I know my post makes me sound concerned but I have an consuming apathy right now. I can't bring myself to really care about it on the emotional or spiritual level. It's all intellectual.

The devil rubs his dirty filthy hands when someone decides not to truly trust in God. God is mercy. God is love. Don't give up. Turn to God always. Offer up your sufferings.

I know exactly how you feel friend.

I'm not giving up but if it's impossible then it's impossible.

 

[Dave L]

I know my post makes me sound concerned but I have an consuming apathy right now. I can't bring myself to really care about it on the emotional or spiritual level. It's all intellectual.



I'm not giving up but if it's impossible then it's impossible.

Sometimes you need to force yourself into the right frame of mind. Unconditional love and kind acts towards enemies is like a shot of vitamins for your soul. Being kind to those you like is a start, but loving enemies gets the job done.

 

[Lost4words]

I know my post makes me sound concerned but I have an consuming apathy right now. I can't bring myself to really care about it on the emotional or spiritual level. It's all intellectual.



I'm not giving up but if it's impossible then it's impossible.

Devil likes to hear people say it's impossible.

 

[royal priest]

Since I have nothing to replace my sin since God left me, I can't enjoy my victory over sin.

God is right where you left Him. Time to return home, son.
Jeremiah 3:22; James 4:8;
Luke 15:11-24,
And Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

I think I am a true born again believer as described in Hebrews 6 and I truly fell away.

If you want proof that you are born again, then prove it. Philippians 1:6

 

[Bobber]

I fell into a long season of willful sins and when I realized what I was doing I tried to repent of it. I was able to physically repent of my sins in the manner of simply not doing them anymore. I was able to quit my addictions and etc. but my soul still has a void in the inside.

Well here's what you can do and if you want to think it's the only thing you can do then do it. Don't just quit things. Begin things and maintain them. Get together many worship songs, songs which worship God, not just songs about God. (there is a difference) Worship in your home for a good 20 minutes and add on to that at least an hour a day of reading the scriptures. "Bring out all the scriptures about forgiveness and his willingness to forgive and cleanse you from all unrighteousness and thank him that you declare you're now cleansed....(that is of course after you've confessed your sins and thank him that he's forgiven and cleansed you.

HE SAID HE'S FAITHFUL AND JUST TO DO IT. He also said draw near to God and he will draw near to you and come unto me all you that are heavy laden (sin will make one feel such a way} and I will give you rest Jesus said. Thank him that he declared that he said these things and thank him that he watches over his word to perform it. If you think you'd just be putting these things one WELL PUT THEM ON and keep doing them to your dying day.

Fact is though I'm pretty positive God will show you his grace. If someone even wants God he's there to work with them. The reason why he can't bring some people to repentance is because in Hebrews these were Jewish Christians if they cast aside the blood of Jesus as having redemptive power there of course is no way to get them saved. You haven't done that....you want to be saved and you don't reject his precious blood. Take heart! If you think of yourself as the prodigal son God will receive you as one coming back to the Father's home.

 

[Invalidusername]

God is right where you left Him. Time to return home, son.
Jeremiah 3:22; James 4:8;
Luke 15:11-24,
And Jesus said, “There was a man who had two sons. And the younger of them said to his father, ‘Father, give me the share of property that is coming to me.’ And he divided his property between them. Not many days later, the younger son gathered all he had and took a journey into a far country, and there he squandered his property in reckless living. And when he had spent everything, a severe famine arose in that country, and he began to be in need. So he went and hired himself out to one of the citizens of that country, who sent him into his fields to feed pigs. And he was longing to be fed with the pods that the pigs ate, and no one gave him anything.

“But when he came to himself, he said, ‘How many of my father’s hired servants have more than enough bread, but I perish here with hunger! I will arise and go to my father, and I will say to him, “Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son. Treat me as one of your hired servants.”’ And he arose and came to his father. But while he was still a long way off, his father saw him and felt compassion, and ran and embraced him and kissed him. And the son said to him, ‘Father, I have sinned against heaven and before you. I am no longer worthy to be called your son.’ But the father said to his servants, ‘Bring quickly the best robe, and put it on him, and put a ring on his hand, and shoes on his feet. And bring the fattened calf and kill it, and let us eat and celebrate. For this my son was dead, and is alive again; he was lost, and is found.’ And they began to celebrate.

If you want proof that you are born again, then prove it. Philippians 1:6

I'm pretty sure the prodigal son is talking about a wayward sinner and not a born again believer returning to sin.

Well here's what you can do and if you want to think it's the only thing you can do then do it. Don't just quit things. Begin things and maintain them. Get together many worship songs, songs which worship God, not just songs about God. (there is a difference) Worship in your home for a good 20 minutes and add on to that at least an hour a day of reading the scriptures. "Bring out all the scriptures about forgiveness and his willingness to forgive and cleanse you from all unrighteousness and thank him that you declare you're now cleansed....(that is of course after you've confessed your sins and thank him that he's forgiven and cleansed you.

HE SAID HE'S FAITHFUL AND JUST TO DO IT. He also said draw near to God and he will draw near to you and come unto me all you that are heavy laden (sin will make one feel such a way} and I will give you rest Jesus said. Thank him that he declared that he said these things and thank him that he watches over his word to perform it. If you think you'd just be putting these things one WELL PUT THEM ON and keep doing them to your dying day.

Fact is though I'm pretty positive God will show you his grace. If someone even wants God he's there to work with them. The reason why he can't bring some people to repentance is because in Hebrews these were Jewish Christians if they cast aside the blood of Jesus as having redemptive power there of course is no way to get them saved. You haven't done that....you want to be saved and you don't reject his precious blood. Take heart! If you think of yourself as the prodigal son God will receive you as one coming back to the Father's home.

I hope you are right.

 

[Bobber]

If you want to give me a story about a backslider who was restored, don't bother because most of those stories are only superficial believers who fell away. I think I am a true born again believer as described in Hebrews 6 and I truly fell away. I don't even feel fear anymore. Just consuming apathy. The second death is here and now.

So why do you do this to yourself? You say don't tell me of someone who has been in the same place you're in can we say backslidden and claim they were restored. WELL THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AM TELLING YOU and I don't back off from it for a minute! I was one such individual years ago and please don't tell me that I wasn't. That would be most presumptuous on your part. I was. And God restored me. I say that to encourage you. You say you don't feel fear anymore that is the fear of the Lord? Well get some. Write down or audio tape every scripture which inspires the fear of the Lord and listen to them forever if need be. Scriptures and passages like Matt 25 the foolish virgins and the wise ones and other passages similar. You can have the fear of the Lord as well.

 

[Stormy]

OP look up... Dark night of the soul. Many have walked the path you are on.

And also consider the possibility that you are depressed after giving up your addictions.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

So how did you come to faith? What is your conversion story?

 

[Unofficial Reverand Alex]

That's quite the extremist view of a rejection of Divine Mercy...check out The Diary of St. Faustina to get a better idea of how powerful Divine Mercy really is.

For now, just remember that any time you're prayers seem unanswered, it's really just God saying, "No, you don't want that--I've got something better." This is certainly a trial, and St. James opens his letter to us by saying, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers & sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:1-2). And St. Paul reminds us, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:18). As hard as it is, be thankful for this situation, and remember that God will always provide an out: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).

God be with you & bless you all of your days; never forget that he's always with you.

 

[Invalidusername]

So why do you do this to yourself? You say don't tell me of someone who has been in the same place you're in can we say backslidden and claim they were restored. WELL THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I AM TELLING YOU and I don't back off from it for a minute! I was one such individual years ago and please don't tell me that I wasn't. That would be most presumptuous on your part. I was. And God restored me. You say you don't feel fear anymore that is the fear of the Lord? Well get some. Write down or audio tape every scripture which inspires the fear of the Lord and listen to them forever if need be. Scriptures and passages like Matt 25 the foolish virgins and the wise ones and other passages similar. You can have the fear of the Lord as well.

I think you can only fear God if the Holy Spirit enables you to. I cannot force myself to fear him.

OP look up... Dark night of the soul. Many have walked the path you are on.

And also consider the possibility that you are depressed after giving up your addictions.

That's very possible. I'm currently inappropriate content free for 2+ months. Maybe that affects the mood?

So how did you come to faith? What is your conversion story?

When I was 18, I stumbled across the Hebrews passages on apostasy. They scared me so much because I thought I was saved at age 13(false convert). I prayed, repented of my sins, and believed upon Jesus' death on the cross as a payment for my sins. I sensed the Holy Spirit fill me later down the road after that.

That's quite the extremist view of a rejection of Divine Mercy...check out The Diary of St. Faustina to get a better idea of how powerful Divine Mercy really is.

For now, just remember that any time you're prayers seem unanswered, it's really just God saying, "No, you don't want that--I've got something better." This is certainly a trial, and St. James opens his letter to us by saying, "Consider it pure joy, my brothers & sisters, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith produces perseverance." (James 1:1-2). And St. Paul reminds us, "Be thankful in all circumstances, for this is God's will for you." (1 Thessalonians 5:18). As hard as it is, be thankful for this situation, and remember that God will always provide an out: "No temptation has overtaken you except what is common to mankind. And God is faithful; he will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, he will also provide a way out so that you can endure it." (1 Corinthians 10:13).

God be with you & bless you all of your days; never forget that he's always with you.

I pray for the capacity to love God and to love people. Why would he not answer that?

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

How long were you free of inappropriate content after your conversion experience?

 

[Invalidusername]

How long were you free of inappropriate content after your conversion experience?

6 months or so. It was so easy too. Effortless.

I know where you're coming from. Trying to figure out if I was a false convert. But let me tell you something, I came from an OSAS church and it allowed me to get sloppy. If OSAS is false then it's from the pit of hell. I was a true convert and let me tell you something a true convert can fall away. HOWEVER I believe that happens during the first few month or years and if you continue to resist sin and persevere, God will make you persevere to the end but you must show your commitment first. I didn't show mine and did not remain in God's love.

 

[S.O.J.I.A.]

6 months or so. It was so easy too. Effortless.

I know where you're coming from. Trying to figure out if I was a false convert. But let me tell you something, I came from an OSAS church and it allowed me to get sloppy. If OSAS is false then it's from the pit of hell. I was a true convert and let me tell you something a true convert can fall away. HOWEVER I believe that happens during the first few month or years and if you continue to resist sin and persevere, God will make you persevere to the end but you must show your commitment first. I didn't show mine and did not remain in God's love.

So you were off the junk for 6 months and then back on for another 8 years?

 

[Johnny4ChristJesus]

6 months or so. It was so easy too. Effortless.

I know where you're coming from. Trying to figure out if I was a false convert. But let me tell you something, I came from an OSAS church and it allowed me to get sloppy. If OSAS is false then it's from the pit of hell. I was a true convert and let me tell you something a true convert can fall away. HOWEVER I believe that happens during the first few month or years and if you continue to resist sin and persevere, God will make you persevere to the end but you must show your commitment first. I didn't show mine and did not remain in God's love.

I am just curious: Why do you think you care enough to post this? If God has forsaken you, and what Jesus said is true that the evil spirit comes back and find the place empty and brings 7 friends who are worse, how are you even resisting inappropriate content at all, let alone rape, murder, and other ungodly desire in this world?

You don't really think you are strong enough to resist your addiction alone, do you? I mean, in the privacy of your own home, who is going to know if you look at inappropriate content. But, if you are resisting, I would argue that someone is helping you. I think it is safe to say that isn't the devil. So, who is left?

 

[Invalidusername]

So you were off the junk for 6 months and then back on for another 8 years?

Someone didn't read the parable of the seeds with different types of soils. The problem is you think all genuine born again believers are the soils that produce a crop but a believer can truly be saved for a period of time and turn away.

Also it was on and off constantly. I think I quit it for like a year after relapsing for a few months. Then I fell right back into it. I suggest you read the WHOLE Bible and not only the "nobody can snatch me" verses. Maybe less people would fall for your satanic OSAS lie.

 

[IdontknowhatImdoing]

I understand there is a spiritual issue involved here, and I definitely suggest seeking pastoral care from someone who is more qualified (pastor, priest, ect.) than an online forum. but I suspect with the apathy you describe in your follow up post, that the may be a tangible, physical component to your issue. Have you attempted to speak with a medical professional about the things you are experiencing? I'm not a doctor, just a lowly dishwasher with a nurse mum, but I suspect maybe there is a withdrawal component at play concerning your sudden halt of behavior relating to addiction. Just a thought.