My dad has problems again

[Susie~Q]

I felt I could have been there more for him, but I don't know if I could have. Too much responsibility was placed on me for phone calls and meetings, and while I did visit him at least every other day, I think I could have stayed longer each time. I don't know how to handle that guilt. I hope he's not mad at me and does not think I would intentionally hurt his feelings.

You are going through the what I call "grief guiltiness" I did too. You think of all the things you did NOT do instead of the goo that you DID do. Your dad knows that you wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt him. If you get to see him tomorrow, hold his hand, tell him that you love him, that you are sorry for anything that you did to hurt him, that he was a good dad and you will always love and remember him. This will hopefully help the guiltiness you are feeling and he will hear you. My mom, who was a Nurse Assistant, said the patients hearing is the last thing to go, so, he will hear you.

You had so much on your plate, you carried it all, you had no help, I think you did great, your damn brother should be ashamed of himself, he did nothing, yet he acts like he did so much, that is bull.

Remember, your dad DOES love you and he knows you love him. Whenever satan puts into your mind that he doesn't know or you feel guilty, tell the "enemy" to get the hell out of your life and then ask the Lord to give you comfort.

 

[Lady Bug]

You are going through the what I call "grief guiltiness" I did too. You think of all the things you did NOT do instead of the goo that you DID do. Your dad knows that you wouldn't do anything to purposely hurt him. If you get to see him tomorrow, hold his hand, tell him that you love him, that you are sorry for anything that you did to hurt him, that he was a good dad and you will always love and remember him. This will hopefully help the guiltiness you are feeling and he will hear you. My mom, who was a Nurse Assistant, said the patients hearing is the last thing to go, so, he will hear you.

You had so much on your plate, you carried it all, you had no help, I think you did great, your damn brother should be ashamed of himself, he did nothing, yet he acts like he did so much, that is bull.

Remember, your dad DOES love you and he knows you love him. Whenever satan puts into your mind that he doesn't know or you feel guilty, tell the "enemy" to get the hell out of your life and then ask the Lord to give you comfort.

I don't know, I thought that losing Mama was hard but this is infinitely worse by any stretch of the imagination. I want to go back to 1980 when I was this really cute baby and Mama was excited to move into our new home because of my arrival, and Dad going to work every day to make money to help provide for us.

 

[Susie~Q]

I don't know, I thought that losing Mama was hard but this is infinitely worse by any stretch of the imagination. I want to go back to 1980 when I was this really cute baby and Mama was excited to move into our new home because of my arrival, and Dad going to work every day to make money to help provide for us.

I was the same way. When mother died it was awful, but I took it so much worse when daddy died
I couldn't stop crying for days. I think it might be because both parents are gone now, we have no one to comfort us, we feel like orphans. Also, there is a special bond between daughters and their dads. I would give anything to go back to even one of those days when mom and dad were still alive and well. They were wonderful times and unfortunately at times I didn't appreciate them like I should have.

 

[Michie]

Praying for a day where you all feel God presence, peace, and comfort.

 

[Lady Bug]

Praying for a day where you all feel God presence, peace, and comfort.

I was there yesterday and am going again today. It's painfully clear that his eyes show that "sign." I don't see how he can last longer than today or tomorrow. My brother, even though he's trying to help financially in his own way, is trying to get me to file a wrongful death lawsuit with the hospital (if not me, than he wants to do it himself, but that may drag me into it), but I'm too swamped in grief and future probate stuff to deal with this, and besides, I don't think it will accomplish anything because those doctors are smarter with words than either me or my brother. I kind of wish they would have let my dad have the PEG tube, because he was at least alive while being nourished. He's dying of starvation right now, and how can I possibly watch this?

 

[Michie]

I was there yesterday and am going again today. It's painfully clear that his eyes show that "sign." I don't see how he can last longer than today or tomorrow. My brother, even though he's trying to help financially in his own way, is trying to get me to file a wrongful death lawsuit with the hospital (if not me, than he wants to do it himself, but that may drag me into it), but I'm too swamped in grief and future probate stuff to deal with this, and besides, I don't think it will accomplish anything because those doctors are smarter with words than either me or my brother. I kind of wish they would have let my dad have the PEG tube, because he was at least alive while being nourished. He's dying of starvation right now, and how can I possibly watch this?

He probably has no desire to eat. He did not want to eat the other day and that’s normal. As far as a wrongful death lawsuit, it’s all about money. Let him file it. He’ll never win and he’d be left holding the bag having to pay legal fees. The hospital has the evidence and he has his accusations. I doubt any respectable lawyer would even take the case. Your brother is the guy that wanted to get the Will changed and get the house handed over to some shady scammer dude for money. This is the guy that wanted you to hit up your Church for a loan. This is the guy that is drowning in debt and was constantly hitting your dad up for money. This is also the guy that never lifted a finger to help you with your parents. He cons and manipulates with tears, threats of suicide and promises the next investment in these money pits/scams will pay off. Even your dad said he was not as intelligent as your brother claims he is. I would not listen to single word the man puts out of his mouth. LB, a PEG tube causes a lot of problems, shortens mortality and if he is shutting down could cause a lot of pain. He would have to undergo surgery again to have it done. It was my impression he was being offered food and hydration but refuses it for the most part. As I said before, follow the advice of the professionals and let your brother follow his own schemes but do not let him manipulate you into being his puppet.

 

[Lady Bug]

He probably has no desire to eat. He did not want to eat the other day and that’s normal. As far as a wrongful death lawsuit, it’s all about money. Let him file it. He’ll never win and he’d be left holding the bag having to pay legal fees. The hospital has the evidence and he has his accusations. I doubt any respectable lawyer would even take the case. Your brother is the guy that wanted to get the Will changed and get the house handed over to some shady scammer dude for money. This is the guy that wanted you to hit up your Church for a loan. This is the guy that is drowning in debt and was constantly hitting your dad up for money. This is also the guy that never lifted a finger to help you with your parents. He cons and manipulates with tears, threats of suicide and promises the next investment in these money pits/scams will pay off. Even your dad said he was not as intelligent as your brother claims he is. I would not listen to single word the man puts out of his mouth. LB, a PEG tube causes a lot of problems, shortens mortality and if he is shutting down could cause a lot of pain. He would have to undergo surgery again to have it done. It was my impression he was being offered food and hydration but refuses it for the most part. As I said before, follow the advice of the professionals and let your brother follow his own schemes but do not let him manipulate you into being his puppet.

Even on that day that he reportedly ate some fish and peas and drank milk, I had gotten excited, only to find out that he coughed the whole time. However, even then, I noticed on that day that something in his eyes was a little vacant, yet peaceful and it hit me that I knew what this meant. Sadly, I think his body was shutting down even before he quit eating. It's weird, why would he shut down? Did the hip breakage possibly cause a reverberation effect in his body that led to the shutdown?

I have enough stuff down the road with the lawyers, I don't need to file a lawsuit. The house has to go through probate I heard it can be a bad process, and that you might have to sell the house, but the lawyer made it look like it was an option, not something I had to choose - I don't know. I'm scared again. I think my dad was right. I'm going to be miserable living all alone in this house or any house. I cried really bad about that earlier. After my dad falling fatally, I am afraid to live alone anymore either. Yet, I can't handle another person in my house. Sigh.

 

[Michie]

Even on that day that he reportedly ate some fish and peas and drank milk, I had gotten excited, only to find out that he coughed the whole time. However, even then, I noticed on that day that something in his eyes was a little vacant, yet peaceful and it hit me that I knew what this meant. Sadly, I think his body was shutting down even before he quit eating. It's weird, why would he shut down? Did the hip breakage possibly cause a reverberation effect in his body that led to the shutdown?

I have enough stuff down the road with the lawyers, I don't need to file a lawsuit. The house has to go through probate I heard it can be a bad process, and that you might have to sell the house, but the lawyer made it look like it was an option, not something I had to choose - I don't know. I'm scared again. I think my dad was right. I'm going to be miserable living all alone in this house or any house. I cried really bad about that earlier. After my dad falling fatally, I am afraid to live alone anymore either. Yet, I can't handle another person in my house. Sigh.

Your dad sounded from your past descriptions that he was probably slowing down before he fell. As I said, broken hips for the elderly is usually not a good prognosis. I’m not sure what your situation is but I am praying all goes well for you. You may be able to keep the house but you must weigh all your options to see what the wisest move is. You have lived with your parents your whole life so it’s natural that you would be nervous about living alone and handling things you have never handled before. Just take everything one day at a time and do not let your brother bully or pressure you. And be sure to investigate everything legally as well. Praying for your strength, peace and discernment through all of this. Also wanted to ask how your dad is doing and what his care team are saying. Praying for his peace, comfort, and that God makes His presence known to him during this time.

 

[Lady Bug]

Your dad sounded from your past descriptions that he was probably slowing down before he fell. As I said, broken hips for the elderly is usually not a good prognosis. I’m not sure what your situation is but I am praying all goes well for you. You may be able to keep the house but you must weigh all your options to see what the wisest move is. You have lived with your parents your whole life so it’s natural that you would be nervous about living alone and handling things you have never handled before. Just take everything one day at a time and do not let your brother bully or pressure you. And be sure to investigate everything legally as well. Praying for your strength, peace and discernment through all of this. Also wanted to ask how your dad is doing and what his care team are saying. Praying for his peace, comfort, and that God makes His presence known to him during this time.

He's absolutely dying The eyes show it. His skin is becoming ashy, his mouth open, his cheeks are gaunt, and he can no longer speak. I could have sworn though that when I held his hand, his head slightly veered toward me, his skin became a bit warmer in color, and his eyes opened more, and it seemed like he knew it was me but couldn't say it. Even the custodian was noticing. He slipped back into his zoned out mode though.

 

[Lady Bug]

Ps I prayed both Divine Mercy and Rosary at his bedside. The thing is, if I prayed for him everyday and God never answered it, why would he answer now? I see no reason why he would now, if my prayers were not answered when he was alive. My prayers feel like they were on deaf ears.

 

[Michie]

He's absolutely dying The eyes show it. His skin is becoming ashy, his mouth open, his cheeks are gaunt, and he can no longer speak. I could have sworn though that when I held his hand, his head slightly veered toward me, his skin became a bit warmer in color, and his eyes opened more, and it seemed like he knew it was me but couldn't say it. Even the custodian was noticing. He slipped back into his zoned out mode though.

Remember, he can hear you. Say what you want to say.

 

[Michie]

Ps I prayed both Divine Mercy and Rosary at his bedside. The thing is, if I prayed for him everyday and God never answered it, why would he answer now? I see no reason why he would now, if my prayers were not answered when he was alive. My prayers feel like they were on deaf ears.

Keep praying Ladybug. That’s all I can say.

 

[FaithT]

Your dad sounded from your past descriptions that he was probably slowing down before he fell. As I said, broken hips for the elderly is usually not a good prognosis. I’m not sure what your situation is but I am praying all goes well for you. You may be able to keep the house but you must weigh all your options to see what the wisest move is. You have lived with your parents your whole life so it’s natural that you would be nervous about living alone and handling things you have never handled before. Just take everything one day at a time and do not let your brother bully or pressure you. And be sure to investigate everything legally as well. Praying for your strength, peace and discernment through all of this. Also wanted to ask how your dad is doing and what his care team are saying. Praying for his peace, comfort, and that God makes His presence known to him during this time.

Your dad sounded from your past descriptions that he was probably slowing down before he fell. As I said, broken hips for the elderly is usually not a good prognosis. I’m not sure what your situation is but I am praying all goes well for you. You may be able to keep the house but you must weigh all your options to see what the wisest move is. You have lived with your parents your whole life so it’s natural that you would be nervous about living alone and handling things you have never handled before. Just take everything one day at a time and do not let your brother bully or pressure you. And be sure to investigate everything legally as well. Praying for your strength, peace and discernment through all of this. Also wanted to ask how your dad is doing and what his care team are saying. Praying for his peace, comfort, and that God makes His presence known to him during this time.

Your dad sounded from your past descriptions that he was probably slowing down before he fell. As I said, broken hips for the elderly is usually not a good prognosis. I’m not sure what your situation is but I am praying all goes well for you. You may be able to keep the house but you must weigh all your options to see what the wisest move is. You have lived with your parents your whole life so it’s natural that you would be nervous about living alone and handling things you have never handled before. Just take everything one day at a time and do not let your brother bully or pressure you. And be sure to investigate everything legally as well. Praying for your strength, peace and discernment through all of this. Also wanted to ask how your dad is doing and what his care team are saying. Praying for his peace, comfort, and that God makes His presence known to him during this time.

I’ve heard that about broken hips having a bad prognosis too, but why?

 

[Michie]

I’ve heard that about broken hips having a bad prognosis too, but why?

Usually age and weakness causes complications and the body has a difficult time mending that type of injury. In the meantime, being in that weakened state can cause infections, pneumonia, etc.

 

[FaithT]

Usually age and weakness causes complications and the body has a difficult time mending that type of injury. In the meantime, being in that weakened state can cause infections, pneumonia, etc.

Ok. That’s sad.

 

[Michie]

Ok. That’s sad.

Very sad.

 

[Lady Bug]

I'm having an impossible time coping with the fact that a couple nights ago, he told the nurse that he had a nightmare. I'm hoping that there was no demonic involvement in this. I'm already at my wit's end.

 

[Michie]

I'm having an impossible time coping with the fact that a couple nights ago, he told the nurse that he had a nightmare. I'm hoping that there was no demonic involvement in this. I'm already at my wit's end.

Pray for his protection. My stepdad had nightmares as well but I think it was due to stress caused by the illness.

 

[Lady Bug]

Pray for his protection. My stepdad had nightmares as well but I think it was due to stress caused by the illness.

I did a lot of praying. I also did a couple of St. Michaels.

 

[Michie]

I did a lot of praying. I also did a couple of St. Michaels.

Praying can be hard when we are looking for signs or feel nothing from them. But my advise is to keep praying. I’ve read where it is said that sometimes we do not know the results of those prayers until we cross over ourselves.