My dad has problems again

[Susie~Q]

He's absolutely dying The eyes show it. His skin is becoming ashy, his mouth open, his cheeks are gaunt, and he can no longer speak. I could have sworn though that when I held his hand, his head slightly veered toward me, his skin became a bit warmer in color, and his eyes opened more, and it seemed like he knew it was me but couldn't say it. Even the custodian was noticing. He slipped back into his zoned out mode though.

As I said, the hearing is the last to go. I truly believe that he heard you, knew that you were there, and was pleased. Hugs.

 

[Susie~Q]

I'm having an impossible time coping with the fact that a couple nights ago, he told the nurse that he had a nightmare. I'm hoping that there was no demonic involvement in this. I'm already at my wit's end.

I don't think it was demonic. Since his body is slowly shutting down there's no telling what goes on in certain parts of the brain, plus, just being ill in general can cause nightmares. Hugs

 

[Lady Bug]

I feel like I was treated badly by a nurse tonight. Unfortunately, I made a "big mistake" but I had no idea how big it supposedly was.

I was in my dad's room about to leave, but the nurse in the next room was talking loud enough such that I could hear her tell her patient that she was going to be in a nose tube for six weeks. That kind of aroused suspicion in me, because I was told that the tube wasn't supposed to be in the nose for more than a couple of weeks. I know they'd say "age," and maybe age is a factor, but it kind of bothered me.

As I was leaving the hospital, I recognized one of dad's nurses but she wasn't working dad's shift today. The fool I am (at the time I didn't feel that way but oh well), I told her that I had a concern about my dad but that it was a moot point, but I said to her that I'd say it anyway. I told her that I heard someone tell a patient that they would wear their nose tube for six weeks, but that my dad was told he could only wear it for two weeks. She abruptly and seemingly rudely told me "You're not supposed to listen on anyone's conversations." I couldn't handle being accused of that (overhearing someone talking really loud is not the same as deliberately listening to someone), so I politely told her that it was the other person in the next room who was talking too loud and people can hear her. She abruptly said "everyone is different" and walked away, making it look like I was the bad guy. I feel like I was treated wrongly by her and accused of something I didn't do. Oddly enough, she was very personable each time I saw her before, but I was offended by her behavior tonight.

 

[Susie~Q]

I feel like I was treated badly by a nurse tonight. Unfortunately, I made a "big mistake" but I had no idea how big it supposedly was.

I was in my dad's room about to leave, but the nurse in the next room was talking loud enough such that I could hear her tell her patient that she was going to be in a nose tube for six weeks. That kind of aroused suspicion in me, because I was told that the tube wasn't supposed to be in the nose for more than a couple of weeks. I know they'd say "age," and maybe age is a factor, but it kind of bothered me.

As I was leaving the hospital, I recognized one of dad's nurses but she wasn't working dad's shift today. The fool I am (at the time I didn't feel that way but oh well), I told her that I had a concern about my dad but that it was a moot point, but I said to her that I'd say it anyway. I told her that I heard someone tell a patient that they would wear their nose tube for six weeks, but that my dad was told he could only wear it for two weeks. She abruptly and seemingly rudely told me "You're not supposed to listen on anyone's conversations." I couldn't handle being accused of that (overhearing someone talking really loud is not the same as deliberately listening to someone), so I politely told her that it was the other person in the next room who was talking too loud and people can hear her. She abruptly said "everyone is different" and walked away, making it look like I was the bad guy. I feel like I was treated wrongly by her and accused of something I didn't do. Oddly enough, she was very personable each time I saw her before, but I was offended by her behavior tonight.

Well, of course you would wonder, and, if the nurse was talking loudly enough that you could hear her in the other room, then it is the nurses fault you heard NOT yours. That other nurse that you asked should not have been so rude, true, everyone is different, but to answer in that manner is not very nice. I know Steve wore an NG longer than a couple of weeks at a time, we were never told it was not safe for him to do so. He hated though and one night, when he was coughing and having a gagging fit with it in, he pulled it out. Luckily, he didn't do any harm to himself, but still. They never put it back in again however. I am sorry that you were not treated too nicely, I would have been offended as well. Hugs.

 

[Lady Bug]

I don't think it was demonic. Since his body is slowly shutting down there's no telling what goes on in certain parts of the brain, plus, just being ill in general can cause nightmares. Hugs

I hope you're right, my heart is weeping at the idea of this poor innocent-looking man having a nightmare.

 

[Susie~Q]

I hope you're right, my heart is weeping at the idea of this poor innocent-looking man having a nightmare.

Hugs. I understand, the brain can do weird things near the end. I am praying for him and that the Lord will have a hedge of protection around him. I am praying the same thing for you my friend

 

[Michie]

Praying for you and your family today LB. May you all feel God’s presence and comfort today.

 

[Susie~Q]

You are in my prayers LB. I pray that you will have peace of mind and heart and that you'll be aware of our Lord's loving arms surrounding you in His care. Hugs

 

[Lady Bug]

My dad kind of looks the same as yesterday but with much shorter breathing. However, it is extremely painful because when the nurses turned him in bed, and his eyes opened up a little more, they looked exactly like a dead man. He looked "scared," as do all "dead" eyes. It was horrible to look at. I thought, no, not MY dad I hope that doesn't mean anything spiritual. He is "clinically dead" though not officially dead. I could have sworn that he kind of saw me today, but he drifted back into his mode.

 

[Lady Bug]

Oh, I could have sworn that he squeezed my hand two or three times, but I wonder if that was just a reflex. I think at one time when I told him to squeeze my hand, he did, but that was only one time. I don't know, maybe that was wishful thinking.

 

[mourningdove~]

Oh, I could have sworn that he squeezed my hand two or three times, but I wonder if that was just a reflex. I think at one time when I told him to squeeze my hand, he did, but that was only one time. I don't know, maybe that was wishful thinking.

This is all so hard, what you are going thru. I'm so sorry.

For many persons, what you're going thru right now would be very difficult to deal with, without some local support.

Many Catholic churches where I live have 'prayer chain' ministries. This ministry is done by persons in the church whose ministry is intercession. They pray for those in their parish who are in need of prayer. If you think you'd like more local support for you and your Dad at this time, it would be very acceptable to call your parish office tomorrow ... talk to the church secretary or your priest ... and request that you and your Dad be added to the church 'prayer list'.

(I used to work in a church office. We on staff regularly received phone requests from parishioners asking for prayer. The pastors would be notified of the request and then the request would be given to the prayer chain to be added to their prayer list.)

Just an idea ...

 

[Lady Bug]

I want to get some grief support after all this, but I fear that I'm going to go through a new living hell after all this because my house might have to go through probate and I heard that is an extremely tedious process, and I wanted to use that time "afterwards" to be able to talk to friends or anyone for support, and I'm going to be bogged down again in this kind of work that won't allow me to grieve.

This is all so hard, what you are going thru. I'm so sorry.

For many persons, what you're going thru right now would be very difficult to deal with, without some local support.

Many Catholic churches where I live have 'prayer chain' ministries. This ministry is done by persons in the church whose ministry is intercession. They pray for those in their parish who are in need of prayer. If you think you'd like more local support for you and your Dad at this time, it would be very acceptable to call your parish office tomorrow ... talk to the church secretary or your priest ... and request that you and your Dad be added to the church 'prayer list'.

(I used to work in a church office. We on staff regularly received phone requests from parishioners asking for prayer. The pastors would be notified of the request and then the request would be given to the prayer chain to be added to their prayer list.)

Just an idea ...

 

[Susie~Q]

I think he did hear you and he did his best to squeeze your hand, you must believe that, don't let Satan out other thoughts into your head. Your dad loves you, he wanted you to know that.❤️❤️

Oh, I could have sworn that he squeezed my hand two or three times, but I wonder if that was just a reflex. I think at one time when I told him to squeeze my hand, he did, but that was only one time. I don't know, maybe that was wishful thinking.

 

[Susie~Q]

I want to get some grief support after all this, but I fear that I'm going to go through a new living hell after all this because my house might have to go through probate and I heard that is an extremely tedious process, and I wanted to use that time "afterwards" to be able to talk to friends or anyone for support, and I'm going to be bogged down again in this kind of work that won't allow me to grieve.

You have gone through so much, you don't need the extra stress of all that added after your dad dies. You need a break. I pray that there will be a way for to find help and comfort.

 

[Susie~Q]

Their b

My dad kind of looks the same as yesterday but with much shorter breathing. However, it is extremely painful because when the nurses turned him in bed, and his eyes opened up a little more, they looked exactly like a dead man. He looked "scared," as do all "dead" eyes. It was horrible to look at. I thought, no, not MY dad I hope that doesn't mean anything spiritual. He is "clinically dead" though not officially dead. I could have sworn that he kind of saw me today, but he drifted back into his mode.

Breathing does get shorter and more labored, I know moms did and so did daddy's. He possibly did see you, as to the scared look being spiritual, I doubt it, it was just probably a reflex from being moved. Hugs.

 

[Lady Bug]

Their b

Breathing does get shorter and more labored, I know moms did and so did daddy's. He possibly did see you, as to the scared look being spiritual, I doubt it, it was just probably a reflex from being moved. Hugs.

I don't know on this one (once again, not trying to negate you ), a dead or dying person's eyes has the look of "I've seen a ghost" fright. It's horrible. I wish I didn't see his eyes in that moment. I hope that intensity of that memory dissipates a little, because I can't digest the notion of my dad's eyes being like this. Everyone's eyes probably does this when they expire, but I'm only talking about my dad.

 

[Lady Bug]

I'm sorry, but doesn't the following sound familiar though?

It's like the eyes are not blinking, they are staring in one direction, and they look like they are beyond frightened, as if they've seen a terrifying ghost. That's why my dad's eyes looked like when he "woke up" after being turned.

 

[mourningdove~]

I want to get some grief support after all this, but I fear that I'm going to go through a new living hell after all this because my house might have to go through probate and I heard that is an extremely tedious process, and I wanted to use that time "afterwards" to be able to talk to friends or anyone for support, and I'm going to be bogged down again in this kind of work that won't allow me to grieve.

Grief support is a very good idea. It's wise, that you're thinking ahead.

I can sure understand your concerns and fears about your living situation.
I'll be praying that the process will go smoother than expected.
(Sometimes it does! )

 

[Susie~Q]

I'm sorry, but doesn't the following sound familiar though?

It's like the eyes are not blinking, they are staring in one direction, and they look like they are beyond frightened, as if they've seen a terrifying ghost. That's why my dad's eyes looked like when he "woke up" after being turned.

I am praying for your dad. Now, more than ever, he needs Jesus.

 

[Susie~Q]

I don't know on this one (once again, not trying to negate you ), a dead or dying person's eyes has the look of "I've seen a ghost" fright. It's horrible. I wish I didn't see his eyes in that moment. I hope that intensity of that memory dissipates a little, because I can't digest the notion of my dad's eyes being like this. Everyone's eyes probably does this when they expire, but I'm only talking about my dad.

My dear mother didn't have that look, however, her eyes were shut the last day of her life, she was in a coma. She seemed peaceful but I wasn't there the moment she died. Daddy's eyes didn't look that way either, when I left his room, he was sitting up in bed, he had been having laboured breathing and had an oxygen canula in his nose or mouth, his level was dangerously low. As I left, he said "I love you" I said "who are you talking to" he said "you" but, I think it was mom. An hour after I left he died, the nurse said it was very peaceful. So, I guess I really don't know how people's eyes look when they die now that I think about it.