Our character has a lot to do with how we can do in a close relationship.
I agree. My early lessons from the Lord related to love, character (He gave me 4 women from the bible over one year), and relational boundaries.
We will need deep correction, just so we are capable of enjoying and benefiting from marriage the really right way; and this will not all come beforehand.
If we cannot yield to God we’re going to have challenges accepting correction and putting the spouse’s needs above our own. There is dignity found in “no” and “wait.” We learn this at His feet.
And my opinion is I need to encourage her to make sure God really is changing her so she does things differently but in the right way. And the same goes for me; only God can change me to how He wants me, and then I can be submissive to what He has me doing, after we mature more.
God does move our hearts and reshapes our way of thinking. Our companion’s are part of the process. We are most influenced by those who embody the principles they profess. Thus, my character and countenance are direct correlations for godly impact. Ideally, both seek to be useful tools for the Lord within the union.
Before I met her, in prayer I was going through these scriptures and already practicing these things, just in case God would have me get married or get into a close sharing relation with someone.
Many lessons were the result of study and instruction. But others came through service and were beneficial to my growth. Overall, becoming more like Him is my aim. I give attention to practical matters for marriage. But the heart of my preparation is holiness.
So, when I get into a problem with her or anything, I do well to pray until I am inspired, even, how to understand something, the way I understand in His peace, and not how I see things during lusts or paranoia or bitterness or frustration or anxiety.
Prayer is the tipping point. Our ability to set aside differences of opinion to find harmony in God is what I seek. Where prayer abides; godly fruit is found.
And my sweetie can call me out on this; while she may still have certain problems, God uses her to help me be more feeling for others.
I considered this last night and addressed it in my musings on
home. The differences in approach and temperament are beneficial to each. Although I don’t pour over scripture to the degree I did in the past. I am bettered if the Lord inspires him to do so. My attention has been redirected to other areas.
He includes us in His process, and He will not, therefore, have us succeeding without learning how to love with our various Jesus brothers and sisters, especially whomever He has prepared and chosen to be close to us.
I have noticed the Lord drawing certain people to me. The connection is mutual and spiritual. It doesn’t happen often. But I recognize His presence immediately when it does.
Most commonly, He inspires me through acts of care and kindness. Whether its encouragement or support, or polite inquiries on their welfare when problems are mentioned. Oftentimes it does not involve someone I’m close to or acquainted with.
God prepares the ones He uses to help us to be conformed to the image of Jesus while we learn with one another how to relate with God and how to love as family . . . so now we can minister this to others who already are our family, plus to ones we help to get adopted.
I have noticed the correlation between my work for another and the blessings that impacted others and me in turn.
As a whole, our togetherness is bettered when He’s at the helm. When our unions are undertaken with Him in mind and He steers its path. The results are demonstrably better. Flesh always considers itself and that inevitably moves our gaze from Him.