My thought is that people who are afraid of 'extreme grace' often just don't know the power of God to change hearts. It's the love of God that pulls us toward Him. Yes, the fear of God is the beginning of wisdom but the change that occurs in the human heart is a holy work, that literally transforms us from one person to another.
Forgiveness of sin produces reverence not a need to sin. I know Calvinists and legalists can't understand that bc they think that we are supposed to be 'good' but we are not, we are forgiven.
When I stopped trying to be good and just said, Lord I'm so lousy but this is all I have to offer... that was when the desire to sin fell away. It helps being older, less temptations and being more mature tends to keep a person out of trouble but that wasn't what changed in me... it was literally a transformation.
I struggle in some areas but they are the inward sins, anger, pride, rebellion those things people can't see that the Lord reveals after you get past the outward stuff. But trying to get rid of them on my own is useless.... and produces pride. Knowing that righteousness is a gift produces gratitude.
God bless, andrea