Joke of the Day!

[cat711]

1.
Q: What do you get when you pour boiling water down a rabbit hole?
A: Hot cross bunnies

2.
Q: What do you call a hundred rabbits hopping backwards?
A: A receding hare-line

3.
Q: If april showers bring may flowers, what do may flowers bring?
A: Pilgrims.

These jokes are funny.
Thanks for sharing!

 

[ashout]

dang that joke will never end! its the most hilarious joke ever! HA!

 

[Jerushabelle]

SSTeacher: "So children, where does the good Lord live?"

Student: "In our bathroom!"

SSTeacher: "What? Why do you say that?"

Student: "Cuz my Dad stands outside the bathroom and yells "Good Lord, are you still in there?"

 

[cat711]

You forgot that he has many names...

On your doorstep = Mat
In your mailbox = Bill
On your wall = Art
In your flowers = Bud
In the mountains = Cliff
In a mine = Rock
In a wood shed = Chip

I could go on but why?
You get the idea.

In a peanut butter factory = Skippy
In a Pepsi factory = Pop

OK, OK. I'll stop...or will I?

Thanks for sharing these quotes are funny LOL!

 

[Jerushabelle]

Little girl: Momma, will Gramppy go to heaven? He got whiskers and I ain't seen none on no angels.

Mom: Well honey, your Gramppy may get there but it'll be a close shave!

 

[ashout]

why did david fight goliath?

HE WANTED TO ROCK AND ROLL!

 

[Jerushabelle]

Old Lady #1 -- "What do you think of Medicare?"

Old Lady #2 -- "It's wonderful! Had one bottle and I'm feeling great!"

 

[cat711]

Old Lady #1 -- "What do you think of Medicare?"

Old Lady #2 -- "It's wonderful! Had one bottle and I'm feeling great!"

This was funny.

 

[cat711]

why did david fight goliath?

HE WANTED TO ROCK AND ROLL!

I laughed out loud when I read this funny joke.

 

[ashout]

one day these two blond sisters who owned a ranch wanted to expand their ranch, so they decide to buy a bull. one sister tells the other "I'm going to new york to find a bull, when i find one i'll send you a telegram telling you to come down with the truck and get it"

so the sister goes to new york, and sure enough finds a bull. she buys it and but it takes nearly all her money to do so and she only has one dollar left. she goes to the telegram office and say's "I'd like to send a message telling my sister to bring the truck and get a bull i just bought" And the telegram man say's it'll be 99 cents per word. she thinks a moment, and say's "send the word 'Comfortable'". the telegram man says "ok, but how will your sister know to do all that with just the word comftorble?" she say's "my sister is blond, she will read it slowly like this:

cum for da bull


HARDY HAR HAR HAR

 

[Son of the King]

I am trying to teach my oldest daughter the difference between needs and wants. She comes up to me one day and says she needs a pair of runners for gym class. I said "ok, lets go to the store". We got into the store and she was looking around and finally picked out a pair and came running over and said "daddy, daddy, I found a pair of runners that I need for gym class." I looked at the 100 dollar price tag, reached into my pocket and pulled out 40 dollars and handed it to her and said. "It looks like you need 60 bucks". Hardy har har.

 

[Jerushabelle]

Definition of "Husband":

Husband - n;
A man who buys his football tickets four months in advance
and waits until December 24 to do his Christmas shopping.

ROFLOL

I know that guy!

 

[Jerushabelle]

"Sir," the policeman asked, "why did you kick that man in the stomach?"

"Because he turned around!"

 

[ashout]

what did the hammer name its baby? BAM BAM!

 

[cat711]

A blonde got into heaven, and when she arrived at the Golden Gates,
Saint Peter asked her one question: "What is God's name?"

She replied, "Andy."

"Andy? Why Andy?", she was asked.

She replied, "Oh, you know,
'Andy walks with me, Andy talks with me,
Andy tells me I am his own.'"

This is funny. LOL!

 

[cat711]

what did the hammer name its baby? BAM BAM!

This is funny LOL, the name reminded me of BAM BAM Barnie Rubble's son from the Flintstones.

 

[cat711]

I am trying to teach my oldest daughter the difference between needs and wants. She comes up to me one day and says she needs a pair of runners for gym class. I said "ok, lets go to the store". We got into the store and she was looking around and finally picked out a pair and came running over and said "daddy, daddy, I found a pair of runners that I need for gym class." I looked at the 100 dollar price tag, reached into my pocket and pulled out 40 dollars and handed it to her and said. "It looks like you need 60 bucks". Hardy har har.

I'm ROTFLmysocksoff this is very funny.

 

[Barefooter]

A govenor goes and inspects a prison. Every inmate he talked to told him how inocent he was. Finally the last guy he talked to, the inmate said he'd done wrong and was guilty. The govenor told the warden to parden him and get him out of there. The warden said, why him? Because he's the only guilty one in here and I don't want him being a bad influence on all those other inmates.

 

[cat711]

A govenor goes and inspects a prison. Every inmate he talked to told him how inocent he was. Finally the last guy he talked to, the inmate said he'd done wrong and was guilty. The govenor told the warden to parden him and get him out of there. The warden said, why him? Because he's the only guilty one in here and I don't want him being a bad influence on all those other inmates.

This is a good one.

 

[Jerushabelle]

Why do dogs prefer to stay at home?

Because it's a dog-eat-dog world out there!!


Yuck, yuck!