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ashout

As Tall as Goliath and as fearsome too!
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one day a priest, a rabbi, and a minister were fishing in a boat off the lake near town. they fish for a while, and then the priest needs to go to shore to use the bathroom, so he gets up, walks on the water and uses the bathroom! he comes back and then the minister needs to use the bathroom, so he gets up, walks on the water and uses the bathroom! after he comes back, the rabbi needs to use the bathroom, so he say's to himself "hey, these guys walk on the water and so can I" so he steps onto the water and immediatly sinks into the water and splashes around.

the minister and the priest look at each other and say "should we have told him about the rocks?"
 
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singpeace

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1. Need an ark to save two of every animal? I noah guy.


2. I relish the fact that you've mustard the strength to ketchup to me.


3. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.


4. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class because it was a weapon of math disruption.
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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one day these two blond sisters who owned a ranch wanted to expand their ranch, so they decide to buy a bull. one sister tells the other "I'm going to new york to find a bull, when i find one i'll send you a telegram telling you to come down with the truck and get it"

so the sister goes to new york, and sure enough finds a bull. she buys it and but it takes nearly all her money to do so and she only has one dollar left. she goes to the telegram office and say's "I'd like to send a message telling my sister to bring the truck and get a bull i just bought" And the telegram man say's it'll be 99 cents per word. she thinks a moment, and say's "send the word 'Comfortable'". the telegram man says "ok, but how will your sister know to do all that with just the word comftorble?" she say's "my sister is blond, she will read it slowly like this:

cum for da bull


HARDY HAR HAR HAR


Roflol...tears.
 
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ashout

As Tall as Goliath and as fearsome too!
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one day sherlock holmes and watson were going camping. They set up their tent by tying a sheet to a pole and spreading it out to make a covering. they have fun eat dinner, then get tired and go to bed in their tent. watson woke up a noticed there were stars over his head. so he wakes up sherlock and asks him, look up sherlock and tell me what you deduce. so sherlock looks up and say's "there are many stars in the sky, so it is still late in the evening. the big dipper is over to your left meaning we are in the western hemisphere." and watson say's

NO SHERLOCK THE SHEET IS MISINGS! NO SHEET SHERLOCK!
 
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ashout

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one day two women die and go to heaven. God greets them and says "do whatever you like, but dont step on the pink clouds!"

so the first one goes out for a walk and when she comes back she has this ugly little man at her side. her friend asks her "what happened?" she says "I Stepped on a pink cloud"

the next day the other woman goes for a walk and when she comes back there is this HANDSOME GREAT LOOKING young man at her side. her friend asked her what happened and the young man says' "I stepped on a pink cloud."
 
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Jerushabelle

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We run across so many who don't believe that Scripture can be taken literally or that the recorded events in Scripture actually happened. I can relate to the little girl in this joke.

A little girl in class stated that Jonah had been swallowed by a whale.
Her teacher remarked that that was a scientific impossibility.
So the little girl said, "I'll ask Jonah when I get to heaven."
And the teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
"Then you ask him!" said the girl.

Little girl = 1
Teacher = Zip
 
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cat711

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one day a man gave 10 dollars to a little girl who was sad and said "don't give up darling". the next day he gave 10 more dollars to the little girl who was sad and said "don't give up darling." the day after that however, he was feeling down becuase his wife died and so he gave the little girl nothing. she turned to him, gave him 20 dollars and said "don't give up darling!"


good story right, i made it up my self. it's about how your there for others your whole life, and one day, they will return what you invested into them. doesn't always work out like that i know, but ultimatly it comes back to you when you need it most.

This was a good story and true too.
 
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cat711

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Q. Why was Goliath so surprised when David hit him with a slingshot?

A. The thought had never entered his head before.

This is a funny joke and I laughed out loud. ^_^
 
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Handmaid for Jesus

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We run across so many who don't believe that Scripture can be taken literally or that the recorded events in Scripture actually happened. I can relate to the little girl in this joke.

A little girl in class stated that Jonah had been swallowed by a whale.
Her teacher remarked that that was a scientific impossibility.
So the little girl said, "I'll ask Jonah when I get to heaven."
And the teacher asked, "What if Jonah went to hell?"
"Then you ask him!" said the girl.

Little girl = 1
Teacher = Zip

:ahah:Too funny !
 
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cat711

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An old dollar bill and an even older $20 arrive at a Federal Reserve Bank to be retired.

"I've had a pretty good life," the $20 says. "I've been to Las Vegas,
the finest restaurants in New York,
and even on a Caribbean cruise."

"You did have an exciting life!" the dollar says.

"Where have you been?" the $20 asks.

"Oh, I've been to the Methodist church,
the Baptist church,
spent some time with the Lutherans..."

"Wait a minute," the $20 interrupts. "What's a church?"

All I can say is, "interesting."
 
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ashout

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A Sunday School teacher asked little Willie who the first man in the Bible was.
"Hoss." said Willie.
"Wrong," said the teacher. "It was Adam."
"Aw, shucks!" Willie replied. "I knew it was one of those Cartwrights."
:study:


I don't get it
 
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