I'm not sure???
For me, although there are many, many things I can't understand and explain, I've learned enough about God to know that He always does what is right and best. (I've also learned enough to know that He most definitely does exist.)
I believe in the judgment all--both His friends and His enemies--will be convinced of His righteousness.
Two efforts to try to convince you that He exists

:
Effort #1--One of the most brilliant and talented men that has ever lived, one most likely far more brilliant that either of us, Leonardo Da Vinci, said: "In the absence of all other evidence, my thumb alone would convince me there's a God."
Effort #2--A snowflake. (And if not one snowflake, a million snowflakes--all with an incredibly beautiful and complex six sided designs, and yet every one of them different. I don't see how anyone can honestly believe that every single one of those millions upon millions of incredibly complex and beautiful designs just happened to get that way by chance.)
Take care, and I hope we can be friends in spite of our differences.