I'm DeSpErAtE!! =(

[GoDsGiRl930]

Hey!! Well, I have been on this forum since about February this year and it has helped me overcome something really big in my life! Talking with people on this forum has helped me find my christian mentor! And yEs I have rejoiced for this and still continue to do so. But at the moment I am going through something very confusing. This may be hard to explain but I will do my best.=) Since I have found my christian mentor, it has tremendously helped me because I am able to talk with her about absolutely everything in which I cant do with anyone else! But recently it's like we have no relationship. Like she doesnt acknowledge the mentor/mentee relationship we have anymore. I dont understand what is going on at all. It's gotten to wear I cant even pray about it anymore because it is so hard and I dont understand what is going on. I know that she is truly my christian mentor because I know that God has put her in my life for that reason! By the way, this woman is my step-aunt and I have known her all of my life. She is also the pastors wife. So I actually see her alot. But anyway, lately, it is like I am invisible. She doesnt look at me the way she used to or something. It's just hard to explain. Like she used to always say "hey" and give me a hug everytime she saw me, even if she had just passed me like twice. Anywho, she also used to ask me like all the time "if everything was okay". Now lately, she never asks me that. What is going on? Have I done something wrong? I feel like I have lost something important to me. What am I supposed to do? HeLp!

 

[nathans1987]

Hey!! Well, I have been on this forum since about February this year and it has helped me overcome something really big in my life! Talking with people on this forum has helped me find my christian mentor! And yEs I have rejoiced for this and still continue to do so. But at the moment I am going through something very confusing. This may be hard to explain but I will do my best.=) Since I have found my christian mentor, it has tremendously helped me because I am able to talk with her about absolutely everything in which I cant do with anyone else! But recently it's like we have no relationship. Like she doesnt acknowledge the mentor/mentee relationship we have anymore. I dont understand what is going on at all. It's gotten to wear I cant even pray about it anymore because it is so hard and I dont understand what is going on. I know that she is truly my christian mentor because I know that God has put her in my life for that reason! By the way, this woman is my step-aunt and I have known her all of my life. She is also the pastors wife. So I actually see her alot. But anyway, lately, it is like I am invisible. She doesnt look at me the way she used to or something. It's just hard to explain. Like she used to always say "hey" and give me a hug everytime she saw me, even if she had just passed me like twice. Anywho, she also used to ask me like all the time "if everything was okay". Now lately, she never asks me that. What is going on? Have I done something wrong? I feel like I have lost something important to me. What am I supposed to do? HeLp!

she probably thinks that your over it now and dosent need to comfort you as much. if she was hugging you and asking if you were ok every time she was you giving you a lot of time which you cant expect forever but i cant see why she would stop talking too you completly.

 

[GoDsGiRl930]

Nathans1987- Why would she feel that I didnt need anymore comfort? Isnt that what a mentor is for? Well it is not that she has quit talking to me completely, its just like she doesnt talk to me as much.

I dont know how to explain what I am feeling. It has just become really odd and different the past few weeks when we are around each other. Does that make sense? I really just need some advice....

 

[Bernergirl]

I'm assuming that the thread is open to members outside of your congregation.

Have you talked with her about the way you are feeling? It really isn't any harder than saying, "Hey, you are really important to me and I'm starting to feel distant from you. Is there something you want to talk about?" If you feel uncomfortable approaching her about it, maybe start with giving her a gift or taking her out for an inexpensive lunch and tell her that it's just something to let her know how much she means to you as a friend/mentor. That's the only way to start.

Don't be afraid or anxious about praying about it! Even if you don't know what's going on, God knows your heart and He knows her heart. It isn't liked He needs an itemized list of what's going on! Just tell Him how you feel (concerned, upset, afraid, whatever...) and trust Him to take care of it.... whatever that ends up meaning. And trust me... He won't let you down if you keep your heart open to His plans!

Do you have other Christian friends you can talk to and that you trust? I know what it is like feeling like you can only talk to one person. Sometimes God really needs you to rely on Him for everything, but it is good to have more than one friend. This helps you not to be relient on just the one person, as well as to work for God's glory by touching the lives of others.

Above all, keep your mind open. You say you know that God has put her in your life to be your Christian mentor; well, keep your heart open to the possibility that He may have other plans. Do what you can to talk with her and heal your relationship, but remember the Lord's Prayer "thy will be done..." He's got wonderful plans for you! Just trust Him to provide in His time and you will be blessed. And feel free to PM me anytime. (I'll send ya my email addy via PM, if you would like to be pen pals...)

I'll pray for you,

Lissa

 

[GoDsGiRl930]

Thanks for your advice on this situation but I think I may have led you down the wrong path...maybe? You see, this is really not like a big "problem", it's just maybe I just dont feel as close to her as I used to. Does that make sense? This is really becoming harder to explain. I am not afraid of approaching her about it I am just confused about how and when to do it. She is still really important to me and everything but I dont really know what I am asking of anyone exept to pray because I am just very confused!

 

[Bernergirl]

That's okay; my advice is still applicable even if it isn't a big "problem." You have to be able to talk with her about it and it is still nice to do something like get her a gift or take her out for lunch just to say, "Hey, you mean a lot to me. Wanna talk?" Even if it is something small, if she is that close to you, you have to be able to talk to her about how you feel, especially about your friendship.

I hope that everything turns out okay.

Lissa

 

[tturt]

I don't see anything wrong with asking her but perhaps you don't feel comfortable doing that. Sometimes this happens when real personal information gets exchanged. I don't know why it happens but it does. Also, sometimes people have other things are on their minds. Having said that perhaps the Lord is wanting you to rely more on HIm. I'm finding that more and more people are finding that's the message the Lord seems to trying to get to all us - nothing or no one is more important than Him.

 

[itsjoesfault]

I hope this doesnt offend you but I get the feeling that maybe your feelings for her is a bit more than that of a mentor and you are concerned. You seek approval, by throwing this out here but you already know the answer right. Remember God loves you and you can go to him with a open heart and find the help you need.