I read a few of the posts on the first page; I also see this section is philosophy. Your question looks as if it is directed toward Christians and that you would value a thorough, well-reasoned, Christian-based answer. With the info you give, the only thing a Christian can do for you is to pray for you. Conversing with you on your subject is a waste of time because, you are not open to the truth or as stated in the bible -- "you don't have ears to hear." That can change by you "coming as a child" as you sincerely seek answers. I'll do as I said which is to pray for you, that you receive a revelation of Jesus Christ.
First off, I have ears to hear, I heard it, and it is absolutely repulsive that if a generally "good hearted" person (not necessarily saying myself) would burn in hell just because they didn't accept Jesus as their savior. A child in a third world country at this very instant is suffering and dying, and "God forbid" they have never even heard of Jesus, because either they are too young, or it's just not a part of their culture. So their whole life is a living hell, and when that one is over, a new eternal hell begins. That sickens my stomach. AND PLEASE DON'T SAY "OH WELL, GOD WOULD TAKE THEM TO HEAVEN ANYWAY". Christianity, Judaism, and Islam to name a few, rule people by fear. You must absolutely love, and absolutely fear at the SAME TIME the God you hold up so high. You're forced to love a God and accept his son as the savior, not because you want to, but because you have no choice but to, because if you don't, you will suffer for all eternity. In the end there is no other conclusion other than that fear is what drives people to believe. Any reason you give as to why you accept Jesus will ultimately point back to the fear of damnation.
Religions in general, way before Christianity were always there to explain something that people didn't understand, and I find that totally reasonable. But when a religion comes along that attempts to induce total fear in people in the most subtle, sinister way imaginable, that's insane. Instead of a benign belief system, that just says "Hey, the bright light in the sky is [insert name here], that god creates the day", etc. You get one that utterly manipulates people into complete control, through fear, and at the same time makes them think that it's their choice, convinces them it's because some infinitely powerful deity actually "loves" a creation that is infinitely less than itself, and if this creation doesn't "love" it back it will "stick them under a magnifying glass and burn them with sunlight" forever. And lastly, it claims to have the meaning to things that don't necessarily have meaning.
It tries to overcome nihilism, at the very least in the
existential way.
CGL1023 you don't have to pray for me.
Your gesture is appreciated, but at the same time I think (not believe) it is not general act of good will towards me, but a reaction to the deeply rooted fear that you need to be what your God expects you to be. Not praying for me to be saved when you're well aware from my previous post that I will definitely not be unless I have some type of realization would reflect poorly on you in the eyes of your God.