I want to cook for other people but I get so scared and anxious

[EtainSkirata]

I just spent an inordinate amount of time making a cake for an Easter potluck. And it took me forever because I had to make sure everything was clean and safe. I have this fear of metal bits getting into food, and I'd spent the morning putting together some furniture so there had been some metal bits around the apartment.

I cleaned everything, and I was super careful with wiping things down, and then I went and put the blades in my new hand mixer in wrong, and when I took them out to swap them out, I noticed this black stuff in the holes. So I cleaned it with a paper towel and inspected it and it felt sharp. Like metal. I cleaned some more, but I wasn't sure if any got into the cake batter.

I baked the cake anyway, trying to convince myself it was just plastic (black pieces of... something, so it very well could have been just plastic). The cake came out kinda bad (new recipe). So I'm just bringing rolls tomorrow and I'm sitting here feeling like a failure. I KNOW I'M A GOOD COOK. And it's not that I messed up the recipe, it's the metal/plastic/whatever it was.

I have no problem eating this cake myself. But I'd be scared to death to share it. And it makes me want to cry because I want SO BADLY to, someday, cook good food for my husband and kids. (I'm not married now, nor do I have kids.) But I just get so anxious in the kitchen when the food is meant for other people. I just feel like a failure right now.

 

[jacks]

You did the right thing not bringing the cake, better safe than sorry. I've done similar things while cooking even simple things. (Was that a spice packet or anti-moisture packet I just put in...) Everyone loves rolls, you can bring cake next time! Don't be so hard on yourself, even good cooks aren't always perfect.

 

[EtainSkirata]

You did the right thing not bringing the cake, better safe than sorry. I've done similar things while cooking even simple things. (Was that a spice packet or anti-moisture packet I just put in...) Everyone loves rolls, you can bring cake next time! Don't be so hard on yourself, even good cooks aren't always perfect.

I decorated the cake, even though it's just for me, and it turns out I'm bad at decorating and it wouldn't have been good to bring anyway lol. So I'm just bringing rolls from the grocery store. But I'm also scared to bring the ones I bought today, because I'm scared that there was metal on my shirt, and I went to the table the rolls were on to grab something, and metal might have gotten onto the rolls, and someone might eat it... I'm seriously considering just buying 3 more bags of rolls from the grocery store on the WAY TO the potluck, so there's NO risk of trouble... which is what I should have done in the first place instead of buying them the day before. So now I'm gonna have 3 bags of rolls in my freezer because I'm paranoid.

I just want to cry. I'm thinking, what man is ever going to want to marry me like this? How am I going to really interact with new friends if I'm scared to invite them over for dinner? I feel miserable and I hate this.

 

[jacks]

Don't worry about metal on the rolls you just bought. I'm sure they are fine. You sound like me, I will go back into the house 3 times to make sure I've turned the stove off. I've had to learn to be careful, but but not unreasonable. As far as getting married, as a man let me say, whether you're good at decorating a cake or not, won't make a bit of difference!
And remember Philippians 4:6-7.
Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything by prayer and supplication with thanksgiving let your requests be made known to God. And the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus.

 

[Tolworth John]

have no problem eating this cake myself. But I'd be scared to death to share it. A

You seriously need to get help.
There is no way that you could get metal from your shirt into rolls you have bought from a shop. Not unless you've been working cutting metal all day and are still wearing work clothes.

Please get professional help.

 

[Mari17]

I just spent an inordinate amount of time making a cake for an Easter potluck. And it took me forever because I had to make sure everything was clean and safe. I have this fear of metal bits getting into food, and I'd spent the morning putting together some furniture so there had been some metal bits around the apartment.

I cleaned everything, and I was super careful with wiping things down, and then I went and put the blades in my new hand mixer in wrong, and when I took them out to swap them out, I noticed this black stuff in the holes. So I cleaned it with a paper towel and inspected it and it felt sharp. Like metal. I cleaned some more, but I wasn't sure if any got into the cake batter.

I baked the cake anyway, trying to convince myself it was just plastic (black pieces of... something, so it very well could have been just plastic). The cake came out kinda bad (new recipe). So I'm just bringing rolls tomorrow and I'm sitting here feeling like a failure. I KNOW I'M A GOOD COOK. And it's not that I messed up the recipe, it's the metal/plastic/whatever it was.

I have no problem eating this cake myself. But I'd be scared to death to share it. And it makes me want to cry because I want SO BADLY to, someday, cook good food for my husband and kids. (I'm not married now, nor do I have kids.) But I just get so anxious in the kitchen when the food is meant for other people. I just feel like a failure right now.

I know exactly how you feel! For a long time, I've had a glass obsession, and am worried about getting glass into people's food. It would be funny if it weren't so hard to deal with! LOL. I do the same thing as you - WAY over-analyze, and envision glass 'sticking' to everything. So - knowing that this is OCD, as I'm sure you do - what are some ways you can deal with it in a way that stands up to the OCD, rather than giving in to it?

 

[Jesusfann777888]

I just spent an inordinate amount of time making a cake for an Easter potluck. And it took me forever because I had to make sure everything was clean and safe. I have this fear of metal bits getting into food, and I'd spent the morning putting together some furniture so there had been some metal bits around the apartment.

I cleaned everything, and I was super careful with wiping things down, and then I went and put the blades in my new hand mixer in wrong, and when I took them out to swap them out, I noticed this black stuff in the holes. So I cleaned it with a paper towel and inspected it and it felt sharp. Like metal. I cleaned some more, but I wasn't sure if any got into the cake batter.

I baked the cake anyway, trying to convince myself it was just plastic (black pieces of... something, so it very well could have been just plastic). The cake came out kinda bad (new recipe). So I'm just bringing rolls tomorrow and I'm sitting here feeling like a failure. I KNOW I'M A GOOD COOK. And it's not that I messed up the recipe, it's the metal/plastic/whatever it was.

I have no problem eating this cake myself. But I'd be scared to death to share it. And it makes me want to cry because I want SO BADLY to, someday, cook good food for my husband and kids. (I'm not married now, nor do I have kids.) But I just get so anxious in the kitchen when the food is meant for other people. I just feel like a failure right now.

You ain't the only one lol. Those metal bits can be dangerous.

Take time to prep. Don't beat yourself up, you haven't killed anyone with a cake yet and won't.

 

[subtlecollision]

This is definitely contamination and responsibility OCD. Therapy has helped me. I would suggest it. Makes cooking easier!