please read this and pray for me!

[Chichi Perez]

I need prayers please. to give some context, I am a married stay-at-home-mom of two precious little boys (ages 1 and 3 years). I am also working on my Master's program online and homeschool my 3 year old (my double-major bachelors is in Education and Child Development, so I like teaching). My husband works from home and we also have a dog. I am feeling so overwhelmed, stressed out, frustrated, and anxious most of the day. I feel like im turning into a grumpy negative person and I feel hopeless sometimes, although I do know that eventually life will get easier. jsut when things start to chill out, somethign happens that adds a new spin and more responsibilities when i felt like i literally could not take any more stress. my dog had some issues with infections and skin and the vet says i have to two give her two different pills, i have to spray her auxilary areas with some spray two times daily which comes with its own stressors..., plus give her a bath twice a week... so, JUST the dog adds a bunch of stress. all her stuff is about half way done. i got like another two weeks of all of it. so, there is hope with that. the other thing is just the normal basic stressors that come with taking care of a 18-month-old who is very needy, and a 3 year old who is very talkative, constantly needing an answer to all his questions about everything. I love my kids they really are the best, its just their developmental ages that are hard it themselves and along with how im feeling, its a lot more stressful than it would be if i werent going thru everything else. so, everything else is: my marriage... we love eachother, no infidelity, no violence, we love eachother a lot, but its very up and down. we both have a lot of trauma from our pasts that affect our relationship with eachother. I have a disorganized attachment from childhood where my emotion needs were not met and if i just sense that he doesnt like it me it makes me super needy and beg him to "just love me" but even when he tells me he loves me i think he doesnt... its a mess and im aware of it. it is just this push and pull thing that happens with disorganized attachemnt. our marriage problems are more like personal problems that dont go well together. we started marriage counseling about a month ago and its going great, so there is also light at the end of that tunnel, too. the stress of the kids puts a strain on both of us, so as they get older, life will get a little easier there too. the other stressor, my masters program. i wake up at 5 am every day to do my work and im supposed to get a break when my husband gets out of work at 4:30, but he rarely gets out at that time. i dont blame him, his job just keep him held there sometimes (he works in IT security). i used to get really mad at him and blame him for getting out late, but we found out he has ADHD and now he takes adderoll which helps a lot with him getting out sooner, but sometimes he just has to stay longer doing things. I dont blame hiim anymore for geting out late, i mean, at least on the surface i dont out-right blame him for getting out late. anyway, the problem is that when he gets out late, everything gets delayed and before i know it, the day is done and i never got a break. I do my son's homeschooling (which is about 45 mins-1 hr) right when my husband gets out of work because i cant do it while my 1 year old is awake or else there is constant interruption and we cant focus. so, after homeschooling, i make dinner at 5:30, kids eat at 6 and i can have my break from 6-7 and then my husband gets a break from 7-8pm, and then we do the kids' bath routine together and finally by 9-9:30ish the kids are both asleep. For my break, i really try to balance out my life like include exercise, and hobbies liek playing guitar, singing, (i write christian songs), or journaling, reading the bible.. i try not to hyperfocus on only my schoolwork or else it becomes an idol and im very mindful of that. so, you can see that when my husband gets out at 5:30 or 6pm, for example, the homeschooling is delayed, dinner is delayed, and both our breaks get cut into and we dont get breaks. our breaks are really important to us because that is our time to just be away from all the screaming and neediness of the kids and home responsibilities like cleaning, organizing, and to just like renew our minds, mediate, pray, deep breatheing, anything to just lower the stress and anxiety. so, i have been super stressed lately because idk whats going on with my husband's work, but hes been getting out late almost everyday and so i havent had a break or time for myself in like a week. i do have their nap time, which gives me about two hours of which i use to either do school work, study the bible, or do lesson planning for my son's homeschooling. SO, as. you can see, everythign is just jam packed. I am always working, cooking, cleaning, laundry, organizing... and there are so many annoying things like stepping on toys and hurting my feet, picking up spills, my baby throwing his food off the highschair, my kids playing too rough getting hurt and crying, not being able to go to the bathroom without hearing BOTH my kids screaming "MAMAAAA MAMAAAA MAMAAA..." sometimes its humerous, but when im feelings as stressed out as I am, even something like this little thing really makes me want to just break down and cry because I just need space and time alone and in quiet so bad. I also have pretty much no friends, except my one best friend but she lives in another state, i havent seen her in years and we talk about once a week thru text. all my other friendships are just mere aquantainses, people from church or neighbors and everything is so surface like "how are you?? ohhhh great!! have a GREAT day! " like everything just seems like I have to pretend everything is perfect all the time. its like when the cashier says "hi, how are you?" they are not literally asking for your feelings, they expect a "I'm well thank you how about yourself?" with a big smile. that is how all my acquaintances relationships are. I tried making friends, but I have a hard time because I get social anxiety and worry too much about what the person is thinking of me. this is just another part of my anxiety disorder i guess. i considered taking medication for the anxiety, but I am scared of taking medications. i deal with health anxiety, as known as hypochondria. its been under control cuz i got counseling for it which helped a lot but it still surfaces here and there and when i think of taking meds, it just scares me that i would have a bad allergic reaction to it or something. i know its irrational, but my mind just gets scared and I cant help it. anyways, i don't really want to take meds. i want to learn to cope. i honestly think that if i had time for regular exercise (which is a BIG need for me, because I love exercising like running, walking, jogging outside), time for journaling, meditating, a genuine friendship (where I can feel heard and understood and also be there for the other person and it can be a reciprocal meaningful and REAL), and time for hobbies, I think that I would be better able to handle the stressors of my life that are normal and manageable like the kids and home responsibilities. The problem is that i cant find the TIME for these things and its really affecting me. i have no answer right now and i've been praying a lot and beggin God to help me and He has been and is very good to me because i know things can be so much worse and one day i will be with him in heaven and all this pain will go away. but right now, im just hurting.. i feel irritable, angry, bitter, depressed, anxious, scared, and all these terrible feelings and no time to deal with them while the stress of the day piles on and piles on from morning to night and day after day. If you made it this far in reading this, may God BLESS you and i never say that without meaning it with all my heart. if you read all of this, I appreciate it more than you can imagine. being heard and understood goes so far with me and just feeling like im not alone in all this helps me a lot. knowing that others are in the same boat also helps, so if you can relate in any way, PLEASE share. Thank you so much, and please pray for my mental wellbeing and emotions and that my faith in the Lord can grow and I can be more like Jesus. Thank you all my brothers and sisters. Hope to hear from you! yes, you! (sorry for all the typos)

-Chi Chi

 

[Joseph G]

Prayed for you and your family, Chi Chi. Especially for conquering social anxiety as I know that struggle well. As for being more like Jesus, relax, He who began a good work in you SHALL complete it!

 

[Chichi Perez]

Prayed for you and your family, Chi Chi. Especially for conquering social anxiety as I know that struggle well. As for being more like Jesus, relax, He who began a good work in you SHALL complete it!

Thank you so much for that encouragment!! I needed that! In christian love,

 

[BobRyan]

I need prayers please. to give some context, I am a married stay-at-home-mom of two precious little boys (ages 1 and 3 years). I am also working on my Master's program online and homeschool my 3 year old (my double-major bachelors is in Education and Child Development, so I like teaching). My husband works from home and we also have a dog. I am feeling so overwhelmed, stressed out, frustrated, and anxious most of the day. I feel like im turning into a grumpy negative person and I feel hopeless sometimes

My wife and I also home schooled our kids. But why are you homeschooling a 3 year old?

My wife and I worked in the hospital until she started home schooling. Are you able to pace yourself in the masters degree program?

my dog had some issues with infections and skin and the vet says i have to two give her two different pills, i have to spray her auxilary areas with some spray two times daily which comes with its own stressors..., plus give her a bath twice a week... so, JUST the dog adds a bunch of stress. all her stuff is about half way done. i got like another two weeks of all of it. so, there is hope with that.

would you consider a low-maintenance pet?

the other thing is just the normal basic stressors that come with taking care of a 18-month-old who is very needy, and a 3 year old who is very talkative, constantly needing an answer to all his questions about everything. I love my kids they really are the best, its just their developmental ages that are hard it themselves and along with how im feeling, its a lot more stressful than it would be if i werent going thru everything else. so, everything else is: my marriage... we love eachother, no infidelity, no violence, we love eachother a lot, but its very up and down. we both have a lot of trauma from our pasts that affect our relationship with eachother. I have a disorganized attachment from childhood where my emotion needs were not met and if i just sense that he doesnt like it me it makes me super needy and beg him to "just love me" but even when he tells me he loves me i think he doesnt... its a mess and im aware of it. it is just this push and pull thing that happens with disorganized attachemnt. our marriage problems are more like personal problems that dont go well together. we started marriage counseling about a month ago and its going great, so there is also light at the end of that tunnel, too. the stress of the kids puts a strain on both of us, so as they get older, life will get a little easier there too.

the other stressor, my masters program. i wake up at 5 am every day to do my work and im supposed to get a break when my husband gets out of work at 4:30, but he rarely gets out at that time. i dont blame him, his job just keep him held there sometimes (he works in IT security). i used to get really mad at him and blame him for getting out late, but we found out he has ADHD and now he takes adderoll which helps a lot with him getting out sooner, but sometimes he just has to stay longer doing things. I dont blame hiim anymore for geting out late, i mean, at least on the surface i dont

A lot of things can break if you pile on everything at once. Some broken things are irreparable.

You have some free will choices you are making
1. Masters degree at your current pace.
2. high overhead high maint dog
3. Homeschooling a 3 year old

You could still home school and have a pet and work toward a master's degree - but at a much downsized pace so that everything fits into a reasonable schedule.

I worked on a computer science degree while working while we had small children - but I had to pace myself - it took longer that way to finish the degree and at one point my wife simply had to stop work for a number of years to take care of the kids and home school.

I pray that God grants you the vision for the future to see in what areas He would have you slow down a bit for the sake of your health, your marriage and your children. Your goals seem like good ones but the all-at-once solution with the promise that "in future years it will be easier" - can be risking a lot.

 

[linux.poet]

would you consider a low-maintenance pet?

The affliction with the dog is going to be over in 2 weeks, and she may be emotionally attached to it and doesn’t need grief on top of all this. Animals can be soothing for people with anxiety because they give affection without requiring the person to navigate through the complexities of human interaction, and adopting and getting used to a new animal is yet another stressor.

I’m going to pray for relief for her now.

Dear Lord, I pray for relief for this woman, who has taken on the dual burdens of raising two small children and finishing her master’s degree. Both of these burdens would be stressful alone, but together, they are causing a struggle. Please give this woman TIME and relief, that she may be able to connect with You. I see that you have given her a heart to educate and teach children, and to raise them in the admonition of the Lord, and that You have given her two beautiful boys and supportive husband who is working from home so that he is there for his family.

Lord, I pray that you would send people into this woman’s life, people from the Body of Christ who support the calling You have given her, and who can release the pressure of all of the needs she is facing. I pray that You would give this woman clarity and insight as to what she wants more time for, and also patience with the development of her little ones, who may not need so much education just yet. Please send people to encourage her during this difficult season, and be with her to encourage her in body and in spirit. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

 

[Chichi Perez]

The affliction with the dog is going to be over in 2 weeks, and she may be emotionally attached to it and doesn’t need grief on top of all this. Animals can be soothing for people with anxiety because they give affection without requiring the person to navigate through the complexities of human interaction, and adopting and getting used to a new animal is yet another stressor.

I’m going to pray for relief for her now.

Dear Lord, I pray for relief for this woman, who has taken on the dual burdens of raising two small children and finishing her master’s degree. Both of these burdens would be stressful alone, but together, they are causing a struggle. Please give this woman TIME and relief, that she may be able to connect with You. I see that you have given her a heart to educate and teach children, and to raise them in the admonition of the Lord, and that You have given her two beautiful boys and supportive husband who is working from home so that he is there for his family.

Lord, I pray that you would send people into this woman’s life, people from the Body of Christ who support the calling You have given her, and who can release the pressure of all of the needs she is facing. I pray that You would give this woman clarity and insight as to what she wants more time for, and also patience with the development of her little ones, who may not need so much education just yet. Please send people to encourage her during this difficult season, and be with her to encourage her in body and in spirit. In Christ’s Name, Amen.

Thank you so very much. This brought tears to my eyes and God has already answered your prayer because today the kids went to grandma's house and I got about 5 hours of time for myself that I really needed and enjoyed. You don't know how much this prayer means to me. About my dog, yes that is true I have an emotional attachment I've had her for 9 years since she was 8 weeks old and she was with me since before I was even a Christian. So, she has been there with me all this time and I love her very much and I would never leave her. I may consider having my younger brother take her in for the next two weeks to take care of her medicine and baths to take some of the load off. I will ask him. With homeschool, my son is 3 years old I know he is very young lol but he knows how to read and not just baby words, he reads full beginner books and we both really enjoy that little chunk of time together daily focused on his reading, writing, and math. I make it all very fun and if he ever is not up for it, I never force him but he always is very excited about it and if im not up for it that day, he asks for that time. I don't want to take that out, but I may have been kinda stressing the lesson planning side of it. I toned it down a little bit, like cutting out social studies. I also signed up for an account really cheap (8$/a month) at education.com which gives me a ton of resources so I dont have to create my own lesson plans and worksheets anymore. With my master's program, I can take 1, 2, or 3 courses at a time. I am currently taking two because if I take one at a time, I will not get my financial aid to cover my classes. One day at a time, and some days I feel like it all just piles up on me, but the Lord has been so good to me, even when I feel bad. I trust Him and He has proven himself over and over and over in my life in miraculous ways, and just being able to post here in this forum has been so helpful. It's better than journalling because people can give me advice, offer different perspectives, and pray for me, encourage me with scripture, and fulfill those social needs that I don't have in my actual face-to-face life.

 

[L.A.M.B.]

Praying for the peace of God to surround and permeate your life and home.

He knows all of our past, our choices, our trust & faithfulness in him, our uprisings and down sittings

HE NEVER LOOSES SIGHT OF OUR NEEDS, DESIRES, WEAKNESSES, ECT. AND IT IS HIS GOOD PLEASURE TO FULFILL HIS PROMISES UNTO US.

FOR IT IS HIS DESIRE FOR OUR GOOD THAT HIS MERCIES ARE NEW EACH MORNING !

Prioritize, take a breath, say a prayer, meditate on a favorite verse each day and find your rest in him .

 

[Samantha8824]

I will pray for you girlfriend. Sounds a lot like the way things were for me about seven years ago. If you don’t mind my suggestion, I recommend this to you:
1. For right now it would be better to put your masters degree endeavors on hold until your children are older and better prepared for the human experience. Remember that they come firs; you n hubby second. Your pooch is third.

2. Read and memorize Proverbs Chapter 3: verses 5-7. Exceedingly powerful and 110% Tru.

3. Take a deep breath and settle your mind before your start your day. Read/pray Psalms 31, 34, 91 and 100. Then sit quietly for 10 to 15 minute.

4. Let go of the past and live in the now.

5. Give yourself time to relax when you can and focus on the good and positive in your life.

6. Keep a personal journal of your life’s journey and prayer.

7. Each morning and at night pray and bless your family and yourself.

Hopefully this resonates with you and you can utilize it to improve your situation.

love & blessings to you and your family
Sam

 

[Chichi Perez]

I will pray for you girlfriend. Sounds a lot like the way things were for me about seven years ago. If you don’t mind my suggestion, I recommend this to you:
1. For right now it would be better to put your masters degree endeavors on hold until your children are older and better prepared for the human experience. Remember that they come firs; you n hubby second. Your pooch is third.

2. Read and memorize Proverbs Chapter 3: verses 5-7. Exceedingly powerful and 110% Tru.

3. Take a deep breath and settle your mind before your start your day. Read/pray Psalms 31, 34, 91 and 100. Then sit quietly for 10 to 15 minute.

4. Let go of the past and live in the now.

5. Give yourself time to relax when you can and focus on the good and positive in your life.

6. Keep a personal journal of your life’s journey and prayer.

7. Each morning and at night pray and bless your family and yourself.

Hopefully this resonates with you and you can utilize it to improve your situation.

love & blessings to you and your family
Sam

Hi Sam, thanks for the suggestions. the only part i would disagree is that my children come first and my husband second. Biblically, my husband is first and then my children, even though our western culture says the opposite. but yes, definitly the dog is third place there lol a very close third place because i love her. and she is just one week away from being done with all the medicines and baths so things are better now than they were when i wrote this. all the prayers really helped and the Lord has been so kind and patient with me. thank you, again Sam

 

[Joseph G]

Hey Chichi, just wondering how you and your family are doing? Let us know if you feel so inclined, still praying for you. God bless!