How to find Christian dates...

[Indent]

I don't like online websites.

It's hard to meet Christian girls, and the single and available girls at my church are far and few between. There are probably 20 or so single guys and 3 single girls... in my age range.

It's depressing and I think some people are frustrated.

When an attractive girl comes along, guys flock to them.

You basically have to go elsewhere, frequent other churches in hopes of meeting people.

There is one girl that I've liked for a while, but she's never dated in the years I've known her. Moreover, she's turned down all the guys that have approached. I can tell she's a committed Christian, conservative value and her father is a pastor overseas, but I've never bothered because of her reputation.

I've meet people at Christian conferences and such, but I feel a bit awkward going to another church for the purpose meeting women.

Suggestions?

 

[ReesePiece23]

When an attractive girl comes along, guys flock to them.

Then make sure that YOU are the one she notices. Don't be the one who says "she'll never chose me over him" and then walk away, be the one who has the self-assured confidence to pursue.

It ain't in the looks. It's all in the delivery.

 

[SnowyMacie]

I don't like online websites.

It's hard to meet Christian girls, and the single and available girls at my church are far and few between. There are probably 20 or so single guys and 3 single girls... in my age range.

It's depressing and I think some people are frustrated.

When an attractive girl comes along, guys flock to them.

You basically have to go elsewhere, frequent other churches in hopes of meeting people.

There is one girl that I've liked for a while, but she's never dated in the years I've known her. Moreover, she's turned down all the guys that have approached. I can tell she's a committed Christian, conservative value and her father is a pastor overseas, but I've never bothered because of her reputation.

I've meet people at Christian conferences and such, but I feel a bit awkward going to another church for the purpose meeting women.

Suggestions?

Christian women exist outside of conferences and churches, pretty much anywhere women are.

Then make sure that YOU are the one she notices. Don't be the one who says "she'll never chose me over him" and then walk away, be the one who has the self-assured confidence to pursue.

It ain't in the looks. It's all in the delivery.

I second this.

 

[sundewgrower]

Sometimes that women who wants nobody else will want you. You don't know until you try as you're different and perhaps it'll work. One friend of mine has had men chase her, however, she's highly selective not because she's picky but they just don't interest her. I'd be a pick of her's but I carry no attraction and so the hunt continues

It's all kind of a paradox but I suspect the best thing to do is become a closer friend and see if she'll warm up to the idea of dating.

Online stuff can be a toxic place, however, I have made some solid friends from there and that's where my best friend came from. I'd not loose total hope--I've not had a standard date before where you just meet IRL and so forth so I get it's not easy.

 

[TheRealAriel]

Church and online are the best places to find a large group of Christians. Other than that, things like meetup.com can help you find groups for activities you enjoy and you can meet people there and find out their faith as you get to know them.

Definitely don't assume anyone is Christian though no matter where you meet. Trust me on this. It makes life very hard

 

[LoveDivine]

Then make sure that YOU are the one she notices. Don't be the one who says "she'll never chose me over him" and then walk away, be the one who has the self-assured confidence to pursue.

It ain't in the looks. It's all in the delivery.

I agree with this advice. You have no idea why she turned down the other guys. To me the fact that she is selective could be a point in the OP's favour. Perhaps she is picky or it could be that she's looking to meet someone who is truly compatible. If she was just interested in dating the most popular or best looking guys, she'd be in a relationship by now ( from the info you gave it would seem she's had no shortage of interest and attention ).

 

[CCHIPSS]

If you want to meet girl in real life I suggest meetup.com. Join a Christian meetup group and see who is there. Chat with girls as friends first, so you don't scare them away. If there is mutual interest you will quickly find out. If not do not push. Give yourself a month or two to get to know the girl. She might become interested later. But if after a fair amount of time you know she aren't interested, move on and focus on a different girl. You can stay friends with the first girl, but do not keep your hopes high. You had been friend-zoned.

I do suggest online dating also. The best part is that you do not have to second guess. She is online looking for a guy and she must be "slightly" interested if she agrees to date you.

I suggest you stay with the free ones like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, so you are not stressed and rushed to find someone. I found my ex on POF and my current GF on OKC. So it worked very well for me.

If you are going online, just date as many girl as you can. Then you will find out what type of girls you are looking for. In the casual dating stage it is perfectly fine to date multiple girls at once. Some girls will not want to date you again. Other girls you yourself will not want to date again. But that's fine.

With that said after 4-5 dates with the same girl you should be committed to her and date no other girls.

 

[sundewgrower]

If you want to meet girl in real life I suggest meetup.com. Join a Christian meetup group and see who is there. Chat with girls as friends first, so you don't scare them away. If there is mutual interest you will quickly find out. If not do not push. Give yourself a month or two to get to know the girl. She might become interested later. But if after a fair amount of time you know she aren't interested, move on and focus on a different girl. You can stay friends with the first girl, but do not keep your hopes high. You had been friend-zoned.

I do suggest online dating also. I suggest you stay with the free ones like Plenty of Fish and OkCupid, so you are not stressed and rushed to find someone. I found my ex on POF and my current GF on OKC. So it worked very well for me.

If you are going online, just date as many girl as you can. Then you will find out who you are looking for. In the casual dating stage it is perfectly fine to date multiple girls at once. With that said after 4-5 dates with the same girl you should be committed to her and date no other girls.

I should try meetup! Seriously I find it really hard to make it work in a church and just need a casual outing so I'm going to take note of that.
Indeed, slow and steady--the friend zone thing is a difficult prospect for me since communication sometimes lacks but you either accept or move on

Online dating wise I met a few friends from OKC when I was traveling in South East Asia and it was fine--however, OKC is a zoo and you need to be highly picky with it all.

Indeed you're correct. Date as many as possible, eventually narrow in and ensure communication is solid as you don't want to become a player.

I do appreciate the meetup aspect--as I'm not looking to date right now but want some commonality and friends. So that could be the route I'll consider taking soon.

 

[leothelioness]

Then make sure that YOU are the one she notices. Don't be the one who says "she'll never chose me over him" and then walk away, be the one who has the self-assured confidence to pursue.

It ain't in the looks. It's all in the delivery.

Agree with this 100%.

I would love it if a guy had the courage and intent to pursue me. That alone would make me take him seriously. Even if he's nervous or apprehensive, I would be flattered if he approached me.

As I've said before on here, make a move because you never know if she is waiting to say "yes". What do you have to lose?

 

[ReesePiece23]

Agree with this 100%.

I would love it if a guy had the courage and intent to pursue me. That alone would make me take him seriously. Even if he's nervous or apprehensive, I would be flattered if he approached me.

As I've said before on here, make a move because you never know if she is waiting to say "yes". What do you have to lose?

Princess, I've got a Bargain Bucket with YOUR name on it.

Now get over here.





Charming aren't I?

 

[sundewgrower]

Agree with this 100%.

I would love it if a guy had the courage and intent to pursue me. That alone would make me take him seriously. Even if he's nervous or apprehensive, I would be flattered if he approached me.

As I've said before on here, make a move because you never know if she is waiting to say "yes". What do you have to lose?

Call me clueless here--like since I've had a different background. But is that simply starting a conversation and following up every week--then if it seems decent trying to slate a casual time for coffee or whatever?

 

[leothelioness]

Call me clueless here--like since I've had a different background. But is that simply starting a conversation and following up every week--then if it seems decent trying to slate a casual time for coffee or whatever?

That would be one way, yes. But you just do what we feels natural for you. There's no right or wrong way to go about it.

 

[sundewgrower]

That would be one way, yes. But you just do what we feels natural for you. There's no right or wrong way to go about it.

My best friend told me you can introduce yourself and ask if she's single right off the bat--in Indonesia which I found an interesting visit. That's not in the USA though and although it sounds straightforward I know that'll not work. In Hawai'i if they hold a conversation every Sunday or whatever for a few weeks they're interested, however, if taken they'll ignore you and make it very clear since there are few to no niceties there.

My background is mixed and some places are easier than others--I'd be dating in certain places but right here and now will be more difficult.

 

[cant_think_of_a_name]

It's hard to meet Christian girls, and the single and available girls at my church are far and few between. There are probably 20 or so single guys and 3 single girls... in my age range.

Lol, I didn't even know there were places like that! I've lived in a few different states (mostly urban areas), and there's always about a 10:1 ratio of single girls to single guys in church.

There is one girl that I've liked for a while, but she's never dated in the years I've known her. Moreover, she's turned down all the guys that have approached. I can tell she's a committed Christian, conservative value and her father is a pastor overseas, but I've never bothered because of her reputation.

Very interesting. My closest girl friends are beautiful, strong, amazing Christian women who hardly ever get asked out by Christian guys (and are broken-hearted because of it). Why? Well, maybe guys are thinking this way! I can't promise that she won't turn you down, but maybe it's worth the risk?

But is that simply starting a conversation and following up every week--then if it seems decent trying to slate a casual time for coffee or whatever?

Oh, I have dozens of platonic relationships with guy friends that involve frequent conversations and even sometimes grabbing coffee/lunch one-on-one. You can start that way and start out as friends, but if a guy simply wants to talk with me and hang out with me, I don't automatically assume he's interested. Because in the vast majority of cases, he isn't. Again, it's a nice place to start but at some point, you have to be clear.

 

[chuck77]

Post under construction.

 

[sundewgrower]

Oh, I have dozens of platonic relationships with guy friends that involve frequent conversations and even sometimes grabbing coffee/lunch one-on-one. You can start that way and start out as friends, but if a guy simply wants to talk with me and hang out with me, I don't automatically assume he's interested. Because in the vast majority of cases, he isn't. Again, it's a nice place to start but at some point, you have to be clear.

I'm bad at bad at being upfront initially. I can make it apparent since I'm one who wants to communicate more and more--but a straight up asking out won't be quick or easy for me.

 

[Gnarwhal]

Answer:

 

[sundewgrower]

Answer:

Climbed date trees in Hawai'i. Never dated in my own country before. It's a paradox.

 

[timewerx]

Answer:

That is just a Date....

How do you turn it into a Christian Date???

 

[OcifferPls]

If you can manage to find one you like talking to you shouldn't have to worry so much about finding dates.