How do you find common ground with others?

[LoveDivine]

@OcifferPls Brother, listen carefully. I know how you feel, because I was and still am in some way the person you are.

For the sake of your children, and your future, your career and your friends, for the future of mankind, you have to start communicating with them even if you don't want to. You see, communication with women is very important. The society is getting more feminist and more man-hating with every single day. You need to be around lots of women, to understand how they think, how they speak, what they do, what they want from you. If you don't experience all this, you'll have lots of trouble in the future. That's one of the most important things you should learn. Learn how to put women in their place and learn how to be smarter. They are everywhere and they won't go away. It's just your virtual reality that lacks women. Women are all around you. I'm not talking about sex. I'm not saying to and have some sex. Just communicate with them, and carefully observe everything they do, and everything they say.

If you have a kid one day, let's say adopted, or in vitro kid, if you don't want a wife and you took the red pill like me, you will still need to have a girl for a nanny and you will need women for your business, not only to put them in their place in front of your kid, but have social skills and social status and gain respect from other men too.

Then keep it yourself and laugh at all of them while the world is at your hands.

Good luck. And...
Keep your friends close and your enemies closer. – Sun Tzu

Or he could meet a woman that has similar interests and connect intellectually with her. Then, he'd have no need to put her in her place. There are some sane women who still love and respect men. Not all of us are nazi feminists that seek to emasculate men. Ideally, children should be raised with both parents. What you are espousing is no better than the man hating garbage rhetoric that extreme feminists spout off about not needing men to raise children. Kids need a father and mother.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

@YankeeGirl
Not really, no. See, I don't want to get into an argument with you or anyone else, I'm directing my message strictly to the Author. If you don't like my post, that's really your problem. My post is not directed to you and your name is not specified. But still, I will answer you in a few words.

While men search for loyalty, women search for security. Security for them is not what security is for men. Security for men is keeping their family, honor and personal rep safe & clean.

For women... Security is if the man has money, if he lives by himself or he could do it, if he could be submitted easily to anything without lots of arguing, and if he has a huge sex drive. See, I don't have lots of money, my sex drive is low because I watch a lot of inappropriate content for a reason, and I can't be easily manipulated. That's why I won't be appealing to any women, even the most ugly one.

You can go argue as much as you want but you won't change a thing. 50% of the US marriages are going to a divorce in the first 5 years. And the Japanese are first in the world by falling birth rates because they are smart and holding back. I sure don't want to be someone's puppet and be manipulated.

Not to mention, women after 30 hit the wall and get wrinkled and all their beauty products can't save them from what it's coming. Their DNA gets damaged pretty fast, more faster than men's DNA and if they give birth later in life, that'd be a huge problem.

I just can't see the benefit from it. Suffer, give your space and life, so you can have sex? I can have sex if I want, I just have to go in a chat room, or in a club, and show off my car for example.

Not to mention that women have no similar interests with me. Nothing in common, at all. They always pretend that they're listening and pretend that they like your hobbies. After all, it's just a huge lie.

Good luck!

 

[LoveDivine]

Lol, Okay, you win this argument. I rest my case. Women don't actually love or care about men. And, since we turn into crinkly man eating dragons, you all are best served to run far away

 

[Saucy]

I don't talk to women. That sounds like a deceptively obvious conclusion, and it is. Now that I think of it, I haven't had a good conversation with a woman in quite a long time.

Granted, I'm to blame for most of it. I haven't been as social as I have in the past. I've been going through a lot of changes, and working hard, to the point where there are times when I start to feel disconnected from things, until I make efforts to go out of my way to speak to friends or acquaintances.

But that's really only like just one other layer to this onion of a problem. Even when I go out of my way to speak to people, I almost never meet any women that captivate my interest on an intellectual level. I don't mean that in an offensive way. I'm not one to find much warmth basking in the intelligence of others; it's just that, apparently, I'm not very interested in the things that women are interested in, and vice versa, to the effect that there is no conversation to be had at all really.

Part of the problem could also be due to my line of work. My graduating class was predominantly male, and I know I don't really have any reasonable expectation of finding women with whom I would find common interests with that way. I doubt I'll ever find common ground through religion, for reasons. When I was younger, it seems meeting women was more of a social byproduct of being in the right group, but now that that seems increasingly childish and leading toward shallow relationships, I'm now realizing I evidently didn't think about realistic ways of finding common ground with a future spouse.

I'm not sure if I should seek to become more "cultured" to fill that void in my life, but, when it comes down to it, at some point I'll feel like I'm putting on a fictitious show just to impress, and as an act it will come to a sudden end. Whatever the case, obviously I don't have the answer to this one, and for now, it's as if both myself and the vast majority of eligible women are really in separate worlds.

You can become more cultured...but just do it for you. Find something you love, that you're good at it. Or do something that you think you might enjoy. Odds are, no matter what you choose, there will be others who also enjoy that and you might meet someone along those lines.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

@YankeeGirl

I won't run away, ever. I stand my ground, against men and especially women. And yeah, women want men. But that's because women can't do anything on their own.

If we could clone people on a mass scale, imagine a world without women. It's possible. But imagine a world without men. Who would drive the trucks every day, build automobiles, build machines, work in the factories, who is gonna work on the oil platforms, as lumbers, pilots, army generals, women? You heard of a woman general? A woman founder of a corporation or a brand? Who invented the radio, the TV, the audio recording, the Wi-Fi, the petrol and diesel engines, the jet engines, the cellphones and the internet, all the modern pills and medicine, everything that makes life possible? Women? And I could go on forever. You get the point now?

Why a family must have two parents, that's not clear. Maybe for the woman to brainwash the child's kopf and fill it with random pointless information while daddy is at work, getting his hands dirty. And attacking him non stop with man hating propaganda. Nanny is still a professional occupation for what I know.

It's a fact, and it's proven that boys rised with single mothers only become feminine monsters, because they get all the female traits from the mother, who is a single parent and their hero.

On the other side, boys or girls, raised by single dads grow with honesty, discipline and with a better view of the world.

Stop looking at it from a woman's perspective, and from your perspective, but try to be impersonal and unbiased for at least just a moment. See that you can't do on your own with your kid if you got no dad, or got no man to do all your house work or guide you in life, and tell you you're great. Women need men because they are incapable of logic and logic thinking. Women are insecure in their very core, and from early age. Women are driven by emotions and that's the huge problem. Emotions as we already know, if left uncontrolled are disastrous.

And don't forget that you are still here, alive, breathing, because men fought your wars, everytime. Men fought the Civil War, men fought the two world wars, men brought freedom and men made America.

1 Timothy 2:12
I do not permit a woman to teach or to assume authority over a man; she must be quiet. For Adam was formed first, then Eve. And Adam was not the one deceived; it was the woman who was deceived and became a sinner.

 

[LoveDivine]

Okay, then...

 

[Saucy]

trucks every day, build automobiles, build machines, work in the factories, who is gonna work on the oil platforms, as lumbers, pilots, army generals, women?

Wow. As someone who used to be a truck driver and lives in Michigan, I know plenty of women truck drivers, factory workers, who work on oil platforms, had family working in lumber camps, and even pilots! They're doctors, CEOs, and best of all, they do it all while having kids and taking care of the family...which is something us men can't do. You should consider giving women more respect.

 

[OcifferPls]

You can become more cultured...but just do it for you. Find something you love, that you're good at it. Or do something that you think you might enjoy. Odds are, no matter what you choose, there will be others who also enjoy that and you might meet someone along those lines.

Thanks for the sentiment. I am doing that already actually, which is part of the problem as the industry is hugely male dominated. It's just not much of a venue for meeting women.

 

[Saucy]

Thanks for the sentiment. I am doing that already actually, which is part of the problem as the industry is hugely male dominated. It's just not much of a venue for meeting women.

Well, I meant you could try to do something else that has more female participation? If you're a pretty busy guy, that often cuts in from meeting someone, but most people have the time to take on a few extra things. Even if it's just a once a week thing.

 

[Saucy]

Oh I'm definitely a real man, because I'm man enough to know us guys would get nowhere without the women in our lives.

 

[sundewgrower]

Hmm your point of what women define as security does seem rather interesting and does carry some validity. I'm working on my degree, getting a second job, owning a home and what not--so I have something to offer. However, the rest of what you've said and your tone precludes me as you've got a viewpoint most would beg to differ with--myself included.

If I'd venture to guess--it sounds like you had a set of unsavory experiences with women and therefore have an ax to grind.

I've had some bad experiences where I've been used and to a degree exploited--judged on what I have to offer and treated as a store bought commodity. Such is life, we need to move on and avoid such people.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

@YankeeGirl
I will repeat again so you can understand me better this time. Your adrenaline kicked in hard and you read through the lines.

Only time in life I had lots of women around me was when I had my 5er series brand new BMW, and when I pleased them with trips and restaurants and bars. When things started to change for me and I realized what's life about and about what I really care in life, they scattered like rats on a sinking ship, and yes, I had girlfriends, and some long term ones. I'm not a virgin, nor homosexual, and for certainly I'm not asexual, tho I want to be asexual sometimes. But I'm not. And I personally cut all the relationships every single time. I never got ditched in my life.

Not to mention, every single one of them was very interested in my hobbies. They were simply mimicking my behavior and interests. You do know what mimicking is, right? Right.

So, I'm really happy that you're one of a kind, very rare find Diamond, but I don't really care. All I care is that even if you're the person that you describe you are, which I highly doubt because of your jumpy reaction against me, which shows you have some serious trouble with my words and you're defending this on a personal level, I care that the Author isn't going to find what he wants. And if he dedicates his life to find a woman, so what? Do you really think he'll achieve his full happiness in life? Do you really believe that you're happy when you have your house buddy near you every night? I don't want to burst your bubble and I will keep my good tone, but if I wanted to, I could just wipe you out in a few sentences and fill your head with doubts because I sure do know that you ain't happy and/or your happiness is temporary. Things will change for you in the next 10 years even if you're on the top of the world right now. In time you will see.

Me on the other side, things for me can't go more bad than this. I have already lost everything, and I started to rebuild it. When was the last time you were alone, rebuilding everything that was destroyed?

I will only respect women from before the World War II. For a few reasons. Too many reasons actually. But that's another topic. And a long one.

 

[LoveDivine]

Hmm your point of what women define as security does seem rather interesting and does carry some validity. I'm working on my degree, getting a second job, owning a home and what not--so I have something to offer. However, the rest of what you've said and your tone precludes me as you've got a viewpoint most would beg to differ with--myself included.

If I'd venture to guess--it sounds like you had a set of unsavory experiences with women and therefore have an ax to grind.

I've had some bad experiences where I've been used and to a degree exploited--judged on what I have to offer and treated as a store bought commodity. Such is life, we need to move on and avoid such people.

Exactly. You have the right idea. Unchecked bitterness and unforgiveness lead to this sort of toxic hate for the opposite gender. I've seen women do this too after getting their heart broken. We need to follow the example of Christ and remain forgiving and open to others. Soon enough the right woman will come along and appreciate your respect and "nice" guy personality. Kindness is never wasted even if others react unkindly. I know you've had some negative experiences lately with friendships ending. I've been there so I can sympathize. You seem to have not let it sour you and that is half the battle

 

[Zurückschlagen]

Hmm your point of what women define as security does seem rather interesting and does carry some validity. I'm working on my degree, getting a second job, owning a home and what not--so I have something to offer. However, the rest of what you've said and your tone precludes me as you've got a viewpoint most would beg to differ with--myself included.

If I'd venture to guess--it sounds like you had a set of unsavory experiences with women and therefore have an ax to grind.

I've had some bad experiences where I've been used and to a degree exploited--judged on what I have to offer and treated as a store bought commodity. Such is life, we need to move on and avoid such people.

I am really sorry that I finally realized that I could actually do something with my life and not think from my egoistic point of view for a moment. Because having a family and a wife won't give anything to the world. It would give another soul or two to fuel the machine. The machine of the corporations, and my children being the next-gen worker bees. And it's something that anyone could do. And I'm certain that I don't feel lonely like most of the folks out there. I don't cry when I don't have my life buddy near me. But I do cry when I see some other things go unnoticed. Something that nobody cares about. Because what everyone cares is their own life and their own good until they are dead and forgotten. It's kind of sad. Men not being able to live on their own. Not being able to take care of theirselves. I don't really think a man is someone who can't do his own laundry, prepare some food and man up and live alone. Nikola Tesla died alone, with no wife or children, died in his apartment in New York. You have internet because of him so be careful of what you say from now on. Every letter you type, and next time you call your momma or your girlfriend, that's because of Tesla's lonely life. Radio, WiFi, even your car's alternator. Next time you go to the mall to buy a new Adidas, that's Tesla, who made your trip possible. A man who died with no wife. Sure. Is he less than you? I don't really think any of us will get even a 1000 kilometers close to him.

 

[Saucy]

@YankeeGirl
I will repeat again so you can understand me better this time. Your adrenaline kicked in hard and you read through the lines.

Only time in life I had lots of women around me was when I had my 5er series brand new BMW, and when I pleased them with trips and restaurants and bars. When things started to change for me and I realized what's life about and about what I really care in life, they scattered like rats on a sinking ship, and yes, I had girlfriends, and some long term ones. I'm not a virgin, nor homosexual, and for certainly I'm not asexual, tho I want to be asexual sometimes. But I'm not. And I personally cut all the relationships every single time. I never got ditched in my life.

Not to mention, every single one of them was very interested in my hobbies. They were simply mimicking my behavior and interests. You do know what mimicking is, right? Right.

So, I'm really happy that you're one of a kind, very rare find Diamond, but I don't really care. All I care is that even if you're the person that you describe you are, which I highly doubt because of your jumpy reaction against me, which shows you have some serious trouble with my words and you're defending this on a personal level, I care that the Author isn't going to find what he wants. And if he dedicates his life to find a woman, so what? Do you really think he'll achieve his full happiness in life? Do you really believe that you're happy when you have your house buddy near you every night? I don't want to burst your bubble and I will keep my good tone, but if I wanted to, I could just wipe you out in a few sentences and fill your head with doubts because I sure do know that you ain't happy and/or your happiness is temporary. Things will change for you in the next 10 years even if you're on the top of the world right now. In time you will see.

Me on the other side, things for me can't go more bad than this. I have already lost everything, and I started to rebuild it. When was the last time you were alone, rebuilding everything that was destroyed?

I will only respect women from before the World War II. For a few reasons. Too many reasons actually. But that's another topic. And a long one.

There's no doubt those type of women exist. But so do those type of men. When we're young, we're attracted to all kinds of shiny things. At some point, we all mature and grow up. At some point, those shiny things don't matter as much anymore. We gain new perspectives and see the world differently.

I understand the bitterness and anger, but it's not going to get you anywhere. You act like you're going to show all those women a lesson because they're beneath you. If this is how you want to waste your life, go ahead.

 

[sundewgrower]

Exactly. You have the right idea. Unchecked bitterness and unforgiveness lead to this sort of toxic hate for the opposite gender. I've seen women do this too after getting their heart broken. We need to follow the example of Christ and remain forgiving and open to others. Soon enough the right woman will come along and appreciate your respect and "nice" guy personality. Kindness is never wasted even if others react unkindly

I have a girl who torched me (eh emotionally for me at least) and it really sucked--I trusted her but she was just a self centered--umm Zurückschlagen could elaborate on how I felt... She was an emotional parasite in some ways and bailed without any concern for me--her cause was the only thing which mattered not my well being. She gave it all to her ex and I got the crappy pieces--in the end I was just a tool for her to cope through medical school.

Yet I have another friend who cooked for me in my hotel room, took care of me when I was sick, napped there and did all of this as a strict friend--right after a breakup when I was 10,000 miles from home and without ever seeing me in person before. She's the sort I wish I had as family, would trust with my finances and I'd marry if a few things were different. For a man she wants one who's got a decent job and will be kind to her--she'll take good care of him, never leave and be a solid future mom.

In the end we're going only find a few diamonds and a heaping ton of rocks--that's just how the world works.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

It's not anger, it's not bitterness. I keep it to myself and don't let emotions control me anymore. Now I realize that the only way a woman can control me is through sex and emotions. And my life is for sure, not wasted. I consider my life something more than staying at home and taking care for two or three people.

I want something more from this. Something to stay. Long after I'm gone from here. Not remembered for the man who loved his wife. You have your freedom to live your life the way you want.

I was not the one who started the confrontation against anyone. I expressed my opinion to the Author and only him. All of you, three of you for now were the ones quoting me and replying me. So it's all you that are in the wrong.

Keep your emotions cool, try not to respond to every thing you see. You can't control me in any way possible. You can't even control your own emotions, but you try to give me advice? That's seriously funny.

 

[LoveDivine]

I have a girl who torched me (eh emotionally for me at least) and it really sucked--I trusted her but she was just a self centered--umm Zurückschlagen could elaborate on how I felt... She was an emotional parasite in some ways and bailed without any concern for me--her cause was the only thing which mattered not my well being. She gave it all to her ex and I got the crappy pieces--in the end I was just a tool for her to cope through medical school.

Yet I have another friend who cooked for me in my hotel room, took care of me when I was sick, napped there and did all of this as a strict friend--right after a breakup when I was 10,000 miles from home and without ever seeing me in person before. She's the sort I wish I had as family, would trust with my finances and I'd marry if a few things were different. For a man she wants one who's got a decent job and will be kind to her--she'll take good care of him, never leave and be a solid future mom.

In the end we're going only find a few diamonds and a heaping ton of rocks--that's just how the world works.

Agreed. This is just a fact of life. I have had painful experiences with guys and women throughout my life. When relationships and friendships end it can be devastating. The pain comes from trusting and expecting others to behave with common courtesy and loyalty. We have to get to a point as Christians that we can rise above offences and show the love of Christ. I've spent the last 8-9 months really pondering the importance of forgiveness. We have to remain soft and gentle and capable of mercy and compassion regardless of how everyone else around us acts. Mother Teresa has a great quote concerning this. I will look it up and post it. Today in church the point was made that the more we honestly pray the Our Father the more we will come to appreciate having our debts cancelled and realize that we have no true debtors. We can learn from failed friendships and grow wiser, but we must still remain loving.

 

[sundewgrower]

Everyone has a different ideal for life. If you think it's not a good fate to be with a women or they'll emotionally and sexually enslave you that's your own prerogative. I'm the polar opposite, however, I need the right one to be married to and then it'll be one major life goal of mine accomplished--which is a central aspiration of my life as of here and now. I've considered moving for a spouse, a career change and anything else if God wants it--if I knew it'd bring my spouse closer or have it happen sooner I'd be amicable provided it's His will.

Spouse wise I'm after somebody who's a little different--not all women are the same and the girls I've gotten close to aren't stereotypical.

 

[Zurückschlagen]

Modern marriage is nothing but relationship insurance for women. When they get married, they can have their kids which further keep you in check.