Girlfriends girls night out

[quietpraiyze]

This is the Christian Advice forum, not the Christian Evaluation forum.

My post wasn't written to you. If you don't like it then YOU can skip over my post or report it. Furthermore you're not a moderator so stop trying to be one.

 

[Albion]

My post wasn't written to you. If you don't like it then YOU can skip over my post or report it. Furthermore you're not a moderator so stop trying to be one.

Sorry, but bad manners don't excuse ignoring the rules. If you don't care to read them before posting, don't get too offended if someone else has to point them out to you.

On this particular forum, we give advice on the basis of what's been asked by the inquirer. We do NOT otherwise judge their religion.

And we'd like to keep the forum doing what it is here to do.

 

[jesse630]

Sorry, but bad manners don't excuse ignoring the rules. If you don't care to read them before posting, don't get too offended if someone else has to point them out to you.

On this particular forum, we give advice on the basis of what's been asked by the inquirer. We do NOT otherwise judge their religion.

And we'd like to keep the forum doing what it is here to do.

agreed

I have been condemned on here so many times. I know it says I am new, but I started a new account just because of how many times people condemned me on the Christian advice alone.

 

[quietpraiyze]

Sorry, but bad manners don't excuse ignoring the rules. If you don't care to read them before posting, don't get too offended if someone else has to point them out to you.

On this particular forum, we give advice on the basis of what's been asked by the inquirer. We do NOT otherwise judge their religion.

And we'd like to keep the forum doing what it is here to do.

That is YOUR interpretation. I stated what he claimed was his issues. What kind of CHRISTIAN ADVICE are you going to give to a person who is content to live is sin? To convey to the OP that his situation is a Godly one and all he needs is a little advice for his live in girlfriend's girl's nights out is a LIE. I didn't make an assumption. I asked the OP a very honest and serious question and I hope he comes back and answers. Like I said if YOU don't like my post skip it or report it. It's that simple but I stand by my post.

When someone comes to a CHRISTIAN advice forum and wants advice while living in sin first things first. They need to REPENT and then God can put their house in order. I don't talk around the sin and I don't pretend. That is NOT the love of God.

So if I've broken the rules, you go ahead report me and be satisfied with that but all this other sarcasm you're pulling, you can keep that AND you're still not a moderator. Thank you.

 

[jesse630]

That is YOUR interpretation. I stated what he claimed was his issues. What kind of CHRISTIAN ADVICE are you going to give to a person who is content to live is sin? To convey to the OP that his situation is a Godly one and all he needs is a little advice for his live in girlfriend's girl's nights out is a LIE. I didn't make an assumption. I asked the OP a very honest and serious question and I hope he comes back and answers. Like I said if YOU don't like my post skip it or report it. It's that simple but I stand by my post.

When someone comes to a CHRISTIAN advice forum and wants advice while living in sin first things first. They need to REPENT and then God can put their house in order. I don't talk around the sin and I don't pretend. That is NOT the love of God.

So if I've broken the rules, you go ahead report me and be satisfied with that but all this other sarcasm you're pulling, you can keep that AND you're still not a moderator. Thank you.

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

Galatians 6:1

I guess you are right.

 

[theophilus40]

Originally Posted by quietpraiyze

None of this is okay...none of it. Everything you're saying is out of order. You are living in sin with a woman, you have a child out of that arrangement, y'all have cheated on each other, and you don't like her going out with her friends. Really?!!

Now what is your relationship with God again? I'm serious. I'm asking an honest question here....
​

This is the Christian Advice forum, not the Christian Evaluation forum.

Giving good advice requires accurately evaluating the problem. Everything in this post is relevant to the poster's question.

 

[bob8619]

How do you come to the conclusion that I am living in sin? Is it a sin to live with your girlfriend even if we don't have sex?

 

[bob8619]

Anyway, I came here not to find out from anyone how they perceive my relationship with God or how they feel I am living. Honestly I haven't given enough information here on me that would give anyone an idea about how things are in my life.

I am fully aware of my past sins and the ones that I still struggle with, afterall, we are all sinners right? I'm also aware that living with a girlfriend before marriage is a recipe for temptation, I never asked that question did I? My coming here was simply to hear other peoples thoughts on girls night out. NOT which part was sin, which part was not.

 

[bob8619]

Moderator your may close this thread for I have no further questions. Thank you all.

 

[jsimms615]

How do you come to the conclusion that I am living in sin? Is it a sin to live with your girlfriend even if we don't have sex?

You already said you have a 3 year old together, so they were assuming it was not the 2nd virgin birth

 

[bob8619]

You already said you have a 3 year old together, so they were assuming it was not the 2nd virgin birth

So you mean to tell me that due to past sin, that I am LIVING in sin? Therefore you are living in sin for whatever sin you have commited in the past too. Right?

 

[parsley]

You are taking care of a child together -- that sounds like it fulfills the obligations of legal marriage.

I am surprised how few people defended her right to go out. Her shop is open 7 days per week, she watches her daughter three days, the three of you try to go out on evenings... Does she have ANY time to herself? Does she also cook and clean?

And you admitted that you were going out several times a week, so she should deserve equal free time, don't you think?

You were clear that the meetings are in a home, so there are probably no men around. They are probably not spending a lot of money on alcohol. And you said she barely drinks. So she is getting together with friends from work. She needs social time, breathing room, and her own expression of her life.

Many kids grow up with their parents out at church committees every night, or with parents working overtime -- but few people accuse them of neglecting the family. Why is one evening out a problem?

I don't believe a married spouse has the right to limit that, unless the person drives home unsafely, treats people abrasively the next morning, blows a paycheck, or as you suggest, has an affair in a vulnerable moment. But you can't control that.

Tight control is not what keeps people from sinning.

Rules and mandates are not what keep spouses close to each other.

Her usage overall is slim to none, occasional cocktail or glass of wine at home, a lot of the time she doesnt even finish and moves on to water or chocolate milk. She doesn't miss work the day after her girl nights, as far as I can tell I wouldn't put her into the alcoholic category. This going out stuff just started happening recently. Everything is nothing but love around here. We are overjoyed with watching our little girl grow and learn. As someone stated, this is an issue with the trust , I can see that is probably the case with the going out thing. My dad told me that a marriage counsellor once told him that if my mom was fulfilled with the marriage, she wouldn't feel the need to go out with her friends. Him nor I are sure if that is true or not. That would probably mean that I shouldn't want to go out flying my RC airplanes either.

As the other long post suggested -- that marriage counselor gave extremely atypical advice. What he recommended is not healthy. It works for a small percentage of couples, and even then it is not fail-proof in ensuring a good marriage.

Use common sense.

 

[bob8619]

Hi parsley, I can't disagree with anything you said, very well written! I saw that if there were no trust issues there would not be a question in my mind about it. I appreciate your input!

 

[jsimms615]

So you mean to tell me that due to past sin, that I am LIVING in sin? Therefore you are living in sin for whatever sin you have commited in the past too. Right?

No, I was simply telling you what others on the forum were assuming.

 

[Hetta]

Ok lets remove the drinking aspect of it. Should I be concerned that she chose to go out with friends over doing something as a family? Our whole family time is limited to evenings due to her working weekends every weekend. I just feel uneasy that the movies were chosen over us. I know everyone is different but I don't crave to get away from her to hang out with the guys so I have trouble seeing from that point of view

It's one night of the week, right? Can't you do things as a family the other six nights? You could also have a night out - non drinking - to do things with your friends.

Everyone needs a break every now and then, so that they can return refreshed.

 

[parsley]

I can't disagree with anything you said

Thanks for listening -- I tend to get blunt, so wasn't sure how that came across.
Fear can take over and turn into something different -- jealousy, anger, control. Then it is harder to get back down to the root. You don't want another affair to tear apart the relationship. Keep that the issue, and try not to pull the stray extras into it.
(Like times you can't keep an eye on her.)

 

[LilLamb219]

MOD HAT ON

CLOSING THREAD AT OP'S REQUEST

MOD HAT OFF