Dumbest Jokes of All Time

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The separation is of democrats and republicans and of the children of God.
On the one side there is the children of pride(democrats and republicans)and on the other side is the children of God.
The battle is to the death.
The sons of God win in the end.

The Difference Between Republicans and Democrats​

A woman in a hot-air balloon is lost, so she shouts to a man below, "Excuse me. I promised a friend I would meet him, but I don’t know where I am."

"You’re at 31 degrees, 14.57 minutes north latitude and 100 degrees, 49.09 minutes west longitude," he replies.

"You must be a Democrat."<br>
"I am. How did you know?"

"Because everything you told me is technically correct, but the information is useless, and I’m still lost. Frankly, you’ve been no help."

"You must be a Republican."

"Yes. How did you know?"

"You’ve risen to where you are due to a lot of hot air, you made a promise you couldn’t keep, and you expect me to solve your problem. You’re in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but somehow, now it’s my fault."

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

 

[One God and Father of All]

And the snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

Yeah, he spent the remainder of his days licking dust. As do his children.

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

 

[Michie]

And the snake didn't have a leg to stand on.

 

[One God and Father of All]

View attachment 343300

Then came the blame-game.

Eve:
The snake made me do it.

Adam:
The woman YOU gave me made me do it

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A guy was sitting quietly reading his paper when his wife walked up behind him and whacked him on the head with a magazine.
“What was that for?” he asked.
“That was for the piece of paper in your pants pocket with the name Laura Lou written on it,” she replied.
“Two weeks ago when I went to the races, Laura Lou was the name of one of the horses I bet on,” he explained.
“Oh honey, I’m sorry,” she said. “I should have known there was a good explanation.”
Three days later he was watching a ball game on TV when she walked up and hit him in the head again, this time with the iron skillet, which knocked him out cold. When he came to, he asked, “What in the world was that for?”
She replied, “Your horse called.”

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A man established a zoo and made the entrance fee $300 but no one went there. He reduced it to $200 but still no one came.
He then reduced the fee to 10$ but still people didn't come.
Finally, he made it FREE entrance and soon, the zoo was filled with people. Then he quietly locked the gate of the zoo, set the lions free and made the exit fee $500 and everyone paid!

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

A pastor went to the dentist for a set of false teeth. The first Sunday after getting his teeth, he preached for only eight minutes. The second Sunday, he preached only 10 minutes. But the following Sunday, he preached nonstop for nearly three hours... until the congregation realized he couldn't quit, and finally helped him sit down. Concerned for his health, they asked, "Are you Okay? What happened?" The pastor explained, "Well, the first Sunday with my new teeth, my gums were so sore I couldn't preach longer than 8 minutes. The second Sunday, I felt I could go a little longer to 10 minutes. But, today, I mistakenly put my wife's teeth in, and discovered I couldn't shut up."

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Mildred, the church gossip and self appointed monitor of the church's morals, kept sticking her nose into other people's business. Several members did not approve of her extra-curricular activities, but feared her enough to maintain their silence. She made a mistake, however, when she accused Frank, a new member, of being an alcoholic after she saw his old pickup parked in front of the town's only bar one afternoon. She emphatically told Frank (and several others) that everyone seeing it there would know what he was doing! Frank, a man of few words, stared at her for a moment and just turned and walked away. He didn't explain, defend, or deny. He said nothing. Later that evening, Frank quietly parked his pickup in front of Mildred's house ... Walked home... And left it there all night. You gotta love Frank!

 

[Michie]

The Wise Men​

God is a father, so He must like dad jokes.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

The Wise Men​

God is a father, so He must like dad jokes.

Groan...