Do looks matter to you?

[ThisIsMe123]

I agree, I think women have a wider breadth in what they want in a partner. This can sometimes manifest in being more picky, but in other times it makes them less rigid.

Overall, I think men care more about physical looks than women. You can see this in the fossil record. Over thousands of years, mankind has become more neotenous... really you could just phrase it as more feminine. These are traits men select for in women.

An OKCupid study that found women find 80% of men below average and men had a more even bell curve is often brought up. Some say this means women care more about looks than men.. I see the opposite... we're dealing with consequences of men historically having a heaver selection pressure for women's looks. The reason there are less chiseled, hunter eyed, square jawed men is because there has been less selective pressure for it.

While women still prefer that... they also like men who have good careers and financial resources. They're more bendable when it comes to preferences than men are. What men desire on average is much simpler compared to women. There is a discussion about modern dating apps skewing women's perspective... but this really deals with younger women. The average 20 something woman is probably better looking than the average 20 something man... because men's heavy selective pressure made it this way.

Although for women this is heavily based on youthfulness and is a shorter window compared to men's desirability. Women simply peak earlier. I think internet culture (which tends to skew younger) is simply biased towards this fact. Overall... considering the entire human lifespan... I think women and men each face their own challenges and hardships.

It's reality. It's neither a misogynist nor a misandrist.

It was only until recently that now YouTube influencers are broaching this subject, even some women are. I think I posted a Courtney Ryan video of her watching a video of how women treat men approaching them in public in friendly fashion. One just chastized a guy looking her way.

If you ever heard the book, "MARRY HIM! The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough" (The fine between compromising and settling)
The woman author points out the faults in women's selectin process.

Even women match makers pul their hair out trying to salsify female clients.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I'm also noticing, women that don't have much to bring to the table themselves, expect more from the men they want to date. Double standard and all.

Some dont' know to stay in their own lane, if they are lacking in the looks department, ie less fit, little extra, etc.

I even like women with some extra, I dunno. It's like they don't stay in their own lane.

 

[MehGuy]

It was only until recently that now YouTube influencers are broaching this subject, even some women are. I think I posted a Courtney Ryan video of her watching a video of how women treat men approaching them in public in friendly fashion. One just chastized a guy looking her way.

If you ever heard the book, "MARRY HIM! The Case for Settling for Mr Good Enough" (The fine between compromising and settling)
The woman author points out the faults in women's selectin process.

Even women match makers pul their hair out trying to salsify female clients.

Like I said... modern dating apps have probably skewed some women's perspectives... in the longer term I think this will mostly correct itself. Future generations of young women seeing picky aunts being single will probably teach them a lesson to lock down a man while they're still very feminine and appealing.

I do think there is also a danger of extending this thought to too many women. I think your average woman is more realistic than that. Those who seek match makers are probably not representative of the average female population.

Maybe something I need to acknowledge more as well.

 

[timewerx]

in the longer term I think this will mostly correct itself

Cheap, lovely humanoid robots will fix it. IF nuclear Armageddon did not get to us first.

Japan is making some disturbingly serious progress in this regards (robots designed specifically as romantic partner, not just some science experiment). A fully working product might be available in a few years. Imagine Elon Musk getting wind of this and deciding to invest in one. It's only a matter of getting China involved to mass-produce cheap clones and in 10 years, people will just buy robots and forget about dating and marriage altogether.

 

[MehGuy]

Cheap, lovely humanoid robots will fix it. IF nuclear Armageddon did not get to us first.

Japan is making some disturbingly serious progress in this regards (robots designed specifically as romantic partner, not just some science experiment). A fully working product might be available in a few years. Imagine Elon Musk getting wind of this and deciding to invest in one. It's only a matter of getting China involved to mass-produce cheap clones and in 10 years, people will just buy robots and forget about dating and marriage altogether.

I don't think so. The robot isn't alive. It's just an over glorified toy. I think we're far off from realistic looking robots. Especially affordable ones for the average person. Musk is basically a con artist. Take what he says with a grain of salt.

 

[Sketcher]

Cheap, lovely humanoid robots will fix it. IF nuclear Armageddon did not get to us first.

Japan is making some disturbingly serious progress in this regards (robots designed specifically as romantic partner, not just some science experiment). A fully working product might be available in a few years. Imagine Elon Musk getting wind of this and deciding to invest in one. It's only a matter of getting China involved to mass-produce cheap clones and in 10 years, people will just buy robots and forget about dating and marriage altogether.

 

[DragonFox91]

The Christian dating book I was reading said that liking looks isn't inherantly bad & can help the marriage, & dating process before that.

But I said in an earlier post, I think the important thing (for men especially) is to know that looks don't last, so we need to be VERY aware of that.

I don't think so. The robot isn't alive. It's just an over glorified toy. I think we're far off from realistic looking robots. Especially affordable ones for the average person.

Definitely.

Like I said... modern dating apps have probably skewed some women's perspectives... in the longer term I think this will mostly correct itself. Future generations of young women seeing picky aunts being single will probably teach them a lesson to lock down a man while they're still very feminine and appealing.

Interesting analysis! Very smart!

Still wouldn't help reduce guys who have never dated, but will help reduce guys who were good w/ women in their 20s & just weren't able to lock one down.

 

[DragonFox91]

I'm fine with woman admitting they prefer taller men and how psychologically important it is for them.

I just want the same for men and what they prefer. I get the idea that many women are so delusional these days... and when I say I prefer a woman several years younger than me, they think I'm just lying and only saying so to be a misogynist and simply being mean to women. When these attractions are every bit just as real and valid as their preference for taller men. Really, it's just the other side of the coin. A big reason women find tall men attractive, and masculine is for the protection aspect. Well, men like younger women for the sense of being the protector.

I don't like sounding like a parrot... just skimming through this thread.. and society in general.. I see women being more comfortable airing their preferences compared to men. I'm pretty much just repeating myself now. I've developed a good sense of what and why women and men want certain physical preferences. After a while there really isn't anything new to say about it.. but I just feel like I need to speak up when I see posts start talking about wanting tall men.. because it doesn't seem like any other real men are picking up the slack. The whole thing just becomes lopsided.

A lot of men know what they can & can't attract looks-wise. If you think you can attract a girl in her 20's, say it & go for it. Those of us who know we can't are fine w/ that & have therefore adjusted who we're attracted to.

A girl in her early 20s would be too young. Probably struggling financially & hasn't grown up yet. Do you really want that? I want a girl who's matured & is doing well financially b/c people struggling financially often have resentment towards people who aren't (in this case that'd be me). I'm 30 so cutoff would be 25 for me in terms of young. But you say 20s w/ nothing to say about who the girl actually is other than what she looks like.

 

[timewerx]

affordable ones for the average person. Musk is basically a con artist. Take what he says with a grain of salt.

That is until multiple companies in China is able to make clones. That and the competition will most certainly push the prices down.

The irony is that the market is probably going to be the not well-to-do individuals (the rich and the middle class won't really need robot companions obviously) so they really have to keep the costs down.

 

[LonelyAdams]

Looks matter, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

However, there is a 'healthy" amount of looks mattering and an "unhealthy" amount. Some people put TO MUCH emphasis on certain physical attribute, washboard abbs, specific heights, certain "body" proportions, and only being attracted to people of a certain hair color are all things that show an immaturity.

A persons personality also plays a role in attraction for most people, but its the physical attraction generally that gets you to go over and say hi. There are a lot of pretty people in the world who get ugly when they open their mouth, and a lot of ok looking people who become very attractive due to their personality.

 

[linux.poet]

It's only a matter of getting China involved to mass-produce cheap clones and in 10 years, people will just buy robots and forget about dating and marriage altogether.

And then all of the countries will become like Russia with a hugely decreasing population. Unfortunately modern supply chain needs a certain human population size to maintain itself - someone has to program and maintain all of the robots and give them software updates.

As technology expands, it will likely require more human reproduction, not less. I could definitely envision a future where the technology industry actually incentivizes people to get married and have children in order to sustain their workforce.

 

[.Mikha'el.]

Looks matter, and anyone who tells you otherwise is a liar.

I don't go that far to use that word, but I don't believe anyone who claims they don't.

 

[timewerx]

As technology expands, it will likely require more human reproduction, not less. I could definitely envision a future where the technology industry actually incentivizes people to get married and have children in order to sustain their workforce.

I think improving technology requires less manpower. Driving jobs will probably be gone in the next decade in developed countries.

In Europe, some companies are already switching to automated factories. Requires far fewer workers in hopes of reducing manufacturing costs. China is also starting to do the same for the same reason.

Also in Europe, some countries are making studies to generously incentivize the unemployed in anticipation of "endemic automation" in the coming decades. They're expecting endemic automation to drive many people out of jobs.

So they're not really worried about losing manpower but rather how to take care of people losing their jobs to automation.

 

[bèlla]

Even women match makers pul their hair out trying to salsify female clients.

Selection bias of that stripe is less about disliking someone or an absence of attraction. It’s the belief they don’t have to consider them. They’re not worried about missing out, giving someone a chance, etc. If they’re able to attract their ideal and get a favorable response they see no reason to bend.

I don’t think everyone can pull it off and many are overshooting. Attractive women with other qualities in their favor are usually more discriminating and less concerned about being alone. They know they’ll be picked. The others are mimicking them, inexperienced or delusional.

~bella

 

[VCR-2000]

I believe if Christians want to improve the dating world they should put more emphasis on pressuring women against having strong height and looks standards, at least as far as what she herself is. Like if you have that kind of preference, good for you, but give a chance to those other guys too. I want more reciprocal equality and fairness in partner selection.

 

[bèlla]

That is until multiple companies in China is able to make clones. That and the competition will most certainly push the prices down.

The irony is that the market is probably going to be the not well-to-do individuals (the rich and the middle class won't really need robot companions obviously) so they really have to keep the costs down.

I posted something along these lines during the pandemic. The manufacturer of the Sophia robot increased production with the goal of providing companionship. They anticipated the absence of human engagement and fill the void. That’s pretty sad.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

I posted something along these lines during the pandemic. The manufacturer of the Sophia robot increased production with the goal of providing companionship. They anticipated the absence of human engagement and fill the void. That’s pretty sad.

~bella

Mass media, algorithms, those who made them is really to blame for the convoluted state of human relationships in recent times. They only promote what makes money. However, money is a strong representation of strength and power.

If you do not manage the balance of power and let go its course undisputed, what we have is anarchy. Nothing good can come out of anarchy. Out of it comes oppression, discrimination, abuse, and many people are left out, hurt, and isolated.

Now the pandemic is gone or almost gone, nothing has changed for many and are still isolated.

 

[bèlla]

However, money is a strong representation of strength and power.

I mentioned hyper masculinity earlier. The message encourages the pursuit of wealth and personal betterment and companionship afterward. Some are marriage minded and others are against it.

If you do not manage the balance of power and let go its course undisputed, what we have is anarchy. Nothing good can come out of anarchy. Out of it comes oppression, discrimination, abuse, and many people are left out, hurt, and isolated.

Now the pandemic is gone or almost gone, nothing has changed for many and are still isolated.

You can’t have masses of unattached people and socially isolated citizens and expect peace. The anger and frustration will come out eventually and when it does its rarely pretty.

I watched a video earlier with my daughter on women’s expectations. Some of the answers were sensible and others were unbelievable. They wanted their partners to earn a lot of money and were clueless about the rest. If most women think that way we’re headed for problems. Very few can meet it.

~bella

 

[Niels]

I mentioned hyper masculinity earlier. The message encourages the pursuit of wealth and personal betterment and companionship afterward. Some are marriage minded and others are against it.

I wonder how much of the emphasis on these things comes from a lack of experience. Whether through themselves or through others. If they are familiar, then they should know better. There's nothing inherently wrong with wealth or being ultra-masculine but it isn't everything either. Although it can be a positive, those who make it their identity are boring at best and controlled by it at worst.

What I mostly see online are narcissists encouraging others to become more narcissistic. While it's wise to have a strong foundation before building a relationship, wealth isn't necessary for that. If a woman likes a man, then things like that are secondary. And frankly, at the end of the day I'd rather be with a woman who wants me for me than for my bank account. Most of these advice-givers who complain that women are too shallow and materialistic simultaneously encourage shallowness and materialism themselves. And yes, they are complaining. Which is it? The hypocrisy is palpable, and probably scares away women they might otherwise get along with.

There's no shortage of sociopaths and thieves in this world. Now that most of us are online, they're piped into our homes. There are also decent people out there. Lots of them. Sometimes, we need to put down our screens and touch grass or else we'll lose touch ourselves.

All of this matters to varying degrees, but if perspective is lost along the way the wrong attributes are emphasized. When that happens, society tends to suffer a result.

 

[VCR-2000]

I posted something along these lines during the pandemic. The manufacturer of the Sophia robot increased production with the goal of providing companionship. They anticipated the absence of human engagement and fill the void. That’s pretty sad.

~bella

It's sad that it has come to that needing to be "well off" financially in order to even have companionship. Is the saying "money can't buy happiness" always necessarily true, especially in this day and age?