Dinosaurs never existed!

[Dave-W]

Bible doesnt mention motorbikes either but we have them!

Of course the Bible mentions motorbikes:

The sound of David’s TRIUMPH was heard throughout the land.

[/satire]

 

[JacksBratt]

“It is totally possible” is a very long way from it actually being true. But that lands it firmly in the land of pure speculation. We do not need or even WANT speculation.

That theory of yours, did it come from the movie “Noah?” That seemed to be the idea of that story line.

LOL... the movie that was out just recently called Noah? Seriously... that movie is so twisted and anti biblical it is a blasphemy of the scripture.

No, my view did not, certainly, come from that piece of dung.

My question to you... How on earth could you confuse what I am saying with that trash.... my view is solidly different and based on actual text from the cannon, the book of Enoch, the book of Jasher, the book of Jubilee and the writings of Josephus.

 

[Dave-W]

LOL... the movie that was out just recently called Noah? Seriously... that movie is so twisted and anti biblical it is a blasphemy of the scripture.

It is based on the final section of a book called Enoch, which is considered canon scripture by the Coptic Orthodox Church. The section is called “Watchers” referring to the fallen angels that helped him.

 

[Dave-W]

No, my view did not, certainly, come from that piece of dung.

My question to you... How on earth could you confuse what I am saying with that trash.... my view is solidly different and based on actual text from the cannon, the book of Enoch, the book of Jasher, the book of Jubilee and the writings of Josephus.

Interesting. You call the movie “dung” but cite its main source as one of your sources.

BTW - I consider Enoch, Jasper, and Jubilees to be as much works of fiction as that movie.

Josephus was familiar with Enoch, as were a few of the NT writers.

 

[JacksBratt]

It is based on the final section of a book called Enoch, which is considered canon scripture by the Coptic Orthodox Church. The section is called “Watchers” referring to the fallen angels that helped him.

Firstly, it has Noah going to murder a child. The baby was born on the ark, the Watchers were rock type things like "transformers" that were... get this... helping Noah??????????..

In reality... Noah was righteous, no baby's on the ark, the watchers are a class of angels that mated with women to create the Nephilim...

The whole this is backward and slanderous... it is perfect for what it was used for... to bastardize the biblical account.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

So this is what happens when a literal interpretation of Genesis confronts abundant contrary evidence?the powerful deceptive devil is invoked?

 

[Kerensa]

So this is what happens when a literal interpretation of Genesis confronts abundant contrary evidence?the powerful deceptive devil is invoked?

Probably, yeah. Unless, as I said earlier, it's a case of Poe's Law (i.e. the OP is actually a satire of Biblical literalism but some people are taking it seriously).

Of course the Bible mentions motorbikes:

The sound of David’s TRIUMPH was heard throughout the land.

[/satire]

Not to mention the disciples' Honda — they were all in one Accord.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

Probably, yeah. Unless, as I said earlier, it's a case of Poe's Law (i.e. the OP is actually a satire of Biblical literalism but some people are taking it seriously).

On the internet it is impossible to distinguish satire from serious.

 

[Vicomte13]

Blasphemy, I know.

Ok, for starters, I'm American, a French American. So, I found myself in Australia, in Perth to be specific, at a fine breakfast buffet at a pretty fancy hotel. I had come to Perth on a US Navy ship, but I was on shore leave, sampling the local...goods...and I came down to have breakfast.

There were all of the usual things there, and there was this thing called "Vegemite". Now, I had heard OF it, but never had it. It was right next to the bread, so it looked like I should spread it on bread.

So, I took a piece of white bread, and the jar of Vegemite, and I proceeded to slather it on thick, like a great big schmear of peanut butter or cream cheese. I went back to the jar and got more. By the time I was done, I had four tablespoons of Vegemite piled up on that piece of bread, like a pile of peanut butter - as much weight in Vegemite as bread, maybe more.

The stuff looked rich and interesting, a very dark brown. I remember my delight at tasting Nutella for the first time. And Cream Cheese. Such delightful things that we smear on bread: Peanut Butter, Nutella, Cream Cheese...and now, a quarter of a cup of Vegemite lathered onto a piece of bread a half-inch thick. Surely this would be paradaisical.

So, I opened my watering mouth to admit this paradaisical delight, and bit down.

And I vomited.

Back home, when the Alewives first came into the Great Lakes as eggs in the ballast tanks of seagoing ships, they spawned without natural predators, and grew into such huge fish balls that vast quantities of them died of natural causes and washed up on the beach, where they were piled by bulldozers into great smelly heaps of rotting fish. If you stepped on one, it sort of mushed down like a brown squashed banana, and produced a very specific stench.

That stench of rotten alewife, and that squishy consistency - THAT is what filled up my senses as my mouth filled with a tablespoon full of pure Vegemite. OH MY GOD.

It was enough to gag a maggot, and it DID cause me to hurl, to projectile vomit, right there on the floor right in front of the buffet line in one of Perth's finest hotels.

And then the taste stuck with me, like [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] on a shoe.

SO VERY NASTY.

I knew instinctively how they make it. There's a factory assembly line conveyor belt that comes up out of a fiery volcano in the Outback called Mt. Doom, whose glowing caldera is a tunnel leading straight down to the sixth circle of Hell. There, twisted, evil demons that have feasted on zombie flesh squat over the jars to defecate. Then the jars are capped, sealed and shipped right out of Mt. Doom to Australian nurseries and convenience stores. Truly infernal stuff. The jars should be marked "Hell Droppings"

Many years later, I was at another buffet, in London, with an English chap. They had Marmite there. It looked just like Vegemite. It, too, was in a little jar. An English chap, colleague of mine, saw me pull out my cruficix, garlic and holy water and start performing the exorcism in the vile substance's general direction and he assured me that, no, no, this was positively DELIGHTFUL stuff.

I recall thinking "Well, you ARE English..." confirming what everybody in France already knows: the English eat out of garbage cans.

But he ASSURED me, and he even prepared a "tartine" of Marmite to prove it. He suggested that there was something deficient about my manhood if I would not even take a bite (and it is very GALLING for a Frenchman to have his manhood questioned by an Englishman, because we ALL know they're poofs). So I had to try it.

Now, I noticed that there was quite a bit different about this Marmite Tartine in London than my Vegemite pile in Perth. For one thing, the Brit had TOASTED the bread. I guess if you're going to smear rotten fish on bread, it's slightly less revolting if you remove the nauseating sponginess from it.

Second, he had spread a pretty thick bed of butter on the toast, and the butter was from Normandie (ah, Europe), so here were two good things: toast and French butter. And then I noticed that the Marmite was VERY thinly spread. It was about a molecule thick, perhaps a half of teaspoon on the whole piece of toast (contrasted with the 12 full teaspoons - 4 tablespoons - a quarter of a cup of Vegemite I had slathered on the raw bread down in Perth).

Gingerly, and Ah! Slowly!, I brought the [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse] Slime on Toast up to my face. I did not sniff it. I knew if I felt that heady scent of demon anus like a stinky fist right in my center of conscience, I'd never even get one bite down, and then this English Poof would have beaten the Frenchman. Unacceptable.

So I bit down, and...it wasn't so bad. It was salty. I tasted the toast, I tasted the butter. The Marmite just added this saltiness to it, a yeasty saltiness.

I told him about the Vegemite and he almost blew his coffee out his nose laughing. "Mate, you can't eat Marmite out of a jar like Peanut spread. Who would ever DO such a thing. Ha ha ha."

So, my final judgment is that if Vegemite is anything like Marmite, it is the Australian equivalent of Fugu, that poisonous fish that will absolutely kill you unless it's prepared by an expert Japanese sushi chef. Non-natives should only attempt to eat a Vegemite sandwich that has been prepared by a native Aussie or Brit.

It's actually pretty good in single-molecule doses. Eaten like peanut butter, it could be a very cruel execution method.

 

[Vicomte13]

How did Satan physically manifest or change objects?

By creating Marmite. Q.E.D.

 

[Vicomte13]

On the internet it is impossible to distinguish satire from serious.

Not always...

 

[Kerensa]

On the internet it is impossible to distinguish satire from serious.

Yes, that's exactly what I was saying.

I knew instinctively how they make it. There's a factory assembly line conveyor belt that comes up out of a fiery volcano in the Outback called Mt. Doom, whose glowing caldera is a tunnel leading straight down to the sixth circle of Hell. There, twisted, evil demons that have feasted on zombie flesh squat over the jars to defecate. Then the jars are capped, sealed and shipped right out of Mt. Doom to Australian nurseries and convenience stores. Truly infernal stuff. The jars should be marked "Hell Droppings"

It's made from brewer's yeast, actually. And yes, it has a very strong taste, much stronger than Marmite (which is pretty much the same thing but diluted). If you're brought up eating it, as possibly most Aussies are, you get used to it and it's delicious. If you're an uninitiated, unsuspecting French American who lathers a quarter cup of the stuff on one piece of bread without any idea of what you're in for... suffer.

 

[Vicomte13]

Yes, that's exactly what I was saying.



It's made from brewer's yeast, actually. And yes, it has a very strong taste, much stronger than Marmite (which is pretty much the same thing but diluted). If you're brought up eating it, as possibly most Aussies are, you get used to it and it's delicious. If you're an uninitiated, unsuspecting French American who lathers a quarter cup of the stuff on one piece of bread without any idea of what you're in for... suffer.

And HURL!

 

[Kerensa]

To be fair, I think I would possibly hurl too (or at least seriously gag) if I had THAT much Vegemite in my mouth at once... it's potent stuff. I usually tell newcomers to it that it's probably nicest to start with it spread thinly inside a cheese sandwich.

 

[Akita Suggagaki]

Not always...

Yes, because people actually think all sorts of crazy things.

 

[Vicomte13]

Yes, that's exactly what I was saying.



It's made from brewer's yeast, actually. And yes, it has a very strong taste, much stronger than Marmite (which is pretty much the same thing but diluted). If you're brought up eating it, as possibly most Aussies are, you get used to it and it's delicious. If you're an uninitiated, unsuspecting French American who lathers a quarter cup of the stuff on one piece of bread without any idea of what you're in for... suffer.

I'm trying to think of something comparable, something I love that other people find vile.

People don't like the SOUND of frog legs, but when they eat them and discover that it's basically very light, buttery, garlicky, parsley-ey white-meat chicken, they like it.

Snails SOUND ghastly, but again, that butter and garlic and parsley really change the taste. They may still find the IDEA horrible, but the taste is good.

Foie gras SEEMS cruel (really, the geese are all food-a-holics and run TO the feeding tubes to be stuffed full, it all looks violent and savage, like monkey sex, but the geese are not suffering trauma from the process. And it tastes great/

Andouilette (tripe sausage) sounds harmless because of the word. If people knew what they are eating, they wouldn't, but it tastes good with mustard.

Boudin noir - "black sausage/pudding" - if people realized that it was blood-soaked bread with parts and spices, though would be repelled, but they don't so everybody loves it.

Haggis - the French style from Brittany (like so much food also eaten in Britain, the ingredients seem to be the same except that the Brits leave out the TASTE part) - is quite good, and everybody thinks it's just a Scottish food, not a Celtic food more generally also eaten in other Celtic places like France (which is a Celtic country, not a Germanic one nor a Latin one).

Ok, I found something: lutefisk. My Swedish kin eat lutefisk. That's pretty disturbing stuff. I don't love it, but it's not horrible. If you ate lutefisk wrong, though, if you dipped out a big helping of lye with the fish and ate it like a soup, it would kill you.

 

[Kerensa]

Haggis is OK — the contents aren't that much different from any other sausage, after all — but I agree about the lack of taste. When I tried it in Edinburgh, I ended up adding ketchup and HP Sauce. My Scottish great-great-grandfather would probably have rolled in his grave.

 

[Vicomte13]

Haggis is OK — the contents aren't that much different from any other sausage, after all — but I agree about the lack of taste. When I tried it in Edinburgh, I ended up adding ketchup and HP Sauce. My Scottish great-great-grandfather would probably have rolled in his grave.

French haggis was really quite tasty, it had a distinct spice in it, not sage...very distinct. It had taste. I just have this feeling that the same thing over across The Sleeve doesn't taste the same.

I recall once having a pot-au-feu (a beef stew) for lunch at a brasserie in Calais, getting on the ferry, crossing over to Folkenstone Harbor, getting out there, and eating a beef stew for dinner in a comparable English pub.

I remember noting that the two dishes looked identical. There were cubes of beef, potatoes, carrots, peas, some celery, all in a brown sauce. The only difference between the French version and the English version I could see was literally that the English had somehow left out the taste.

I could not explain it. There was something invisible missing. Must've been some sort of spice. It wasn't simply salt: the English version was plenty salty. Something...ELSE.

Same thing with a Shepherd's Pie I had in London versus a Hachis Parmentier I had in Paris, both at "pub style" establishments. The same thing, looked the same, but the English version just tasted like salt and bland, while the French thing had this rich flavor.

Whatever spice they're using in France, if they just put it into English food, I think that people would suddenly realize that the English and the French, the Northern French anyway, are actually one people with two languages, because the food is so similar.

So much traditional English food is exactly the same thing as a comparable traditional French dish from right across the water, 25 miles away. The only difference is that the English leave out the taste.

 

[Kerensa]

To be fair on the English, their cuisine has suffered through the past century from food rationing during the wars and then the rise of convenience foods, to the point where I suspect a lot of them simply forgot how to cook properly (if they ever knew ). But I think things are improving. I work at a care home where most of the food served is "traditional English" and I can vouch for the fact that when done well and with quality ingredients, it can actually be really delicious. We get locally produced sausages (from the butcher in the next village, just a mile down the road) that are THE BEST I've ever tasted anywhere, to the point of being almost addictive. Much much better than haggis!!

 

[Brightmoon]

What, Satan can create famines and earthquakes but can't create a few bones?

plate tectonics create earthquakes . Natural phenomena mixed with human greed and stupidity creates famines . Vertebrates create bones and geological process will mineralize them into fossils. I agree with the original poster , Satan creates nothing. God created this planet