How do you handle an unresolved relationship or friendship issue from the past? Speaking to the person about the most mundane thing would help, even for just 30 minutes, but I don't know if the person would even be willing to do that for me.
Dealing with unresolved feelings
- Thread starter radhead
- Start date
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ContentInHim
Guest
If it isn't "unresolved" from the other person's point of view, it might be best to "resolve" it by talking to God about it. 
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sinneD
Well-Known Member
Obviously there needs to be some reconciliation in a situation such as this. It isn't going to happen by itself. Sometimes if trying to do it yourself is awkward, perhaps a mediator is in order - someone who doesn't take sides.
But when it is all said and done, the bottom line is that at some point in time you will have to make a move and simply contact the person. You will never know if they will ever respond until you try.
But when it is all said and done, the bottom line is that at some point in time you will have to make a move and simply contact the person. You will never know if they will ever respond until you try.
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Solidlyhere
Well-Known Member
Radhead asks the $64 question: "How do you handle an unresolved relationship or friendship issue from the past?"
What I do is Plan, before I see this person.
Most of my Life is spent with people who are OK-enough for me to be around.
When I am with these people, I don't usually get "surprised" by what they do (and say).
So, I can Let Go of my fears, and be "myself" with them.
Then comes a day when I must be with a High-maintenance person.
Most of these people are on eternal Downers.
The day before a visit, I plan how I want to be.
Then I think of topics for conversation.
I may write-out several things I want to say.
As I meet her, I am relaxed.
I can truly give a warm smile.
I create a Mood for myself.
I bring-up one of my topics.
Over the years, I have done quite well.
Usually, the visits are OK.
This is certainly progress, because they used to be mostly hair-pulling sessions.
Each person has some warmth in them.
The trick is finding ways to find that warmth, and bring it out.
So, Radhead, if you really want it, you might get it: "Speaking to the person about the most mundane thing would help, even for just 30 minutes, but I don't know if the person would even be willing to do that for me."
If you can think-up 30 minutes of mundane conversation (and maybe steer her away from black-holes), then you have the possibility of surviving those first 30 minutes.
Good planning can bear good Fruit.
And, you are not just helping her, you will also be helping yourself.
She may want to actually have a few minutes of quiet talk.
And you can be the catalyst for that.
If this works, then you can easily get past those unresolved feelings.
Because those feelings are about the Past.
If the Present gets better, then the Past loses its grip on your mind (and spirit).
Good luck.
What I do is Plan, before I see this person.
Most of my Life is spent with people who are OK-enough for me to be around.
When I am with these people, I don't usually get "surprised" by what they do (and say).
So, I can Let Go of my fears, and be "myself" with them.
Then comes a day when I must be with a High-maintenance person.
Most of these people are on eternal Downers.
The day before a visit, I plan how I want to be.
Then I think of topics for conversation.
I may write-out several things I want to say.
As I meet her, I am relaxed.
I can truly give a warm smile.
I create a Mood for myself.
I bring-up one of my topics.
Over the years, I have done quite well.
Usually, the visits are OK.
This is certainly progress, because they used to be mostly hair-pulling sessions.
Each person has some warmth in them.
The trick is finding ways to find that warmth, and bring it out.
So, Radhead, if you really want it, you might get it: "Speaking to the person about the most mundane thing would help, even for just 30 minutes, but I don't know if the person would even be willing to do that for me."
If you can think-up 30 minutes of mundane conversation (and maybe steer her away from black-holes), then you have the possibility of surviving those first 30 minutes.
Good planning can bear good Fruit.
And, you are not just helping her, you will also be helping yourself.
She may want to actually have a few minutes of quiet talk.
And you can be the catalyst for that.
If this works, then you can easily get past those unresolved feelings.
Because those feelings are about the Past.
If the Present gets better, then the Past loses its grip on your mind (and spirit).
Good luck.
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jive4005
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- Jun 14, 2007
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Since you've already gone to God about, I'm supposing you've already done everything YOU can do to rectify the situation.
Understand, you are not responsible for the actions of others. Every one of us is responsible for ourselves!Forgiveness is the key here. If you forgive and they haven't, the only thing you can do is continue to be kind and loving.
God says to live at peace with the world the best you can. If you get your own heart right about this stuff, I'm sure God will do His part. That way, however it works out, it will be of God. Ain't THAT is always a good thing.
Much victory...
His,
Rev J
Understand, you are not responsible for the actions of others. Every one of us is responsible for ourselves!Forgiveness is the key here. If you forgive and they haven't, the only thing you can do is continue to be kind and loving.
God says to live at peace with the world the best you can. If you get your own heart right about this stuff, I'm sure God will do His part. That way, however it works out, it will be of God. Ain't THAT is always a good thing.
Much victory...
His,
Rev J
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jive4005
Senior Veteran
- Jun 14, 2007
- 1,997
- 149
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- Christian
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- Married
- Politics
- US-Republican
Remember to always keep Praying for these folks... Prayer is a great mover, prayer gets to the HEART of the matter.
With God there is no falseness. When you go to God with an attitude problem (about people, things, rules and such) God is going to show you the TRUTH about the situation as well as the TRUTH about yourself.
Truth is always best. It throws His light upon the world and brings very real clarity... allowing us to follow the right roads and to stay away from sin.
His,
Rev J
With God there is no falseness. When you go to God with an attitude problem (about people, things, rules and such) God is going to show you the TRUTH about the situation as well as the TRUTH about yourself.
Truth is always best. It throws His light upon the world and brings very real clarity... allowing us to follow the right roads and to stay away from sin.
His,
Rev J
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