Deal-breakers

[Brian75]

Someone who don't want to have kids or anymore kids. I want my own kids, yours are ok too but I want at least one of my own.
Drinker
Heavy smoker
Drug user
If you have kids correct them when they do wrong!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! This is a huge one.
Please be single (divorced is single)
Not willing to go to church, we all believe different things but some measure of faith is a must.

 

[m.a.r.X]

I love cooking and she should too.
Spending too much time on the phone and on the internet.
Should have a quick wit...I don't like "slow" people.
Should be willing to go to church everyday.
Slim.
Good with kids.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

Oh geez...my list is pretty populated so I won't write that out; instead I'll write out the traits I'm looking for in a woman I would fully love.

-passionate
-humourous
-girly
-takes good care or herself
-beautiful inside and out (meaning not snobby)
-patient (don't need another crazy girl with a billion issues thrown at me)
-meek and mild (a truly beautiful girl will never be haugty)
-fervent
-confident
-strong willed

much more but that's sufficient for now

 

[Jupiter Drops]

I don't think that this is a silly/pointless thread. Carrying on...

I feel kind of selfish to have so many deal-breakers, but I do. I guess deal-breakers are still important because you need to get along with your future spouse/boyfriend.

I have too many to list....

 

[Pierre101]

Oh yeah.

"Doesn't want kids" would be a big one for me, too.

I don't even see the point in marriage if you don't want kids.

 

[PetLuv]

I have a disabled brother, and as it is he will likely never be able to live on his own.

Our parents are getting older and I decided a few years ago that I'll never let him go into a one of those homes so long as I was alive.
That is what I have found to be the biggest issue for men back when I was dating. Based on the responses of "caring Christian men" on this when I bring it up I'm never going to have any long term partner in this life.
So, yes I have a dealbreaker, and it is a lifelong one. And honestly, I am fine with it. I have no interest in someone who isn't going to put work into a life together anyway - this just get's them gone faster and keeps me realistic.

 

[Going Merry]

Deal breakers cont.
- If they aren't white (or atleast not dark, please)
- If they have sin
- If our beliefs are different (see above)
- They smoke / drink
- If they are perverts
- If they 'get around'
- I don't mind if they are down on their luck, but at least trying to be successful or it's no go.
- Foreigners need not apply
- If they argue a lot or make chide remarks a lot
- If they are really skinny
- If my dad dislikes you (cos thats important.)

More lataa

 

[lostaquarium]

I was thinking today about relationship/dating deal-breakers. What are some of your deal-breakers for dating?

The reason I ask is because I have recently gotten to know someone, and we met up for coffee this afternoon. While he is a nice person, he and I have some very different opinions about theology and the roles of men and women in the church. These opinions seem to be so contrasting to my own that I do not think I could comfortably pursue a relationship with this man.


What about some of your own experiences?

I know that some people have been talking about trolls around here starting pointless threads, so I apologize if this has already been discussed...

My boyfriend has different religious views to me. We're both Christians, but he's quite a traditional Anglican, his church doesn't sing hymns or have a sermon, they just have Bible readings and sometimes a short "homily". Whereas I'm Evangelical, and I think the sermon is incredibly important, our service is more informal, and I don't like relying on traditions or rituals for their own sake. (Also I think he's too materialistic, way more than a Christian ought to be.)

I've been thinking about whether or not this is a dealbreaker. But I think he's such a great guy in all other aspects. It's probably impossible for me to find someone who I completely agree with in all aspects!

What views does your date have specifically? Are they oppressive to women and will they make you unhappy if you go out with him? If not, you might want to give him more of a chance.

 

[wannaberocker]

Should be willing to go to church everyday.

Everyday Church? There are not many churches that are open everyday.

 

[Elliewaves]

He must have no more than two arms, like bending his elbows, enjoys drinking water, and he must must MUST have a digestive system.


Oh and he has to have a neck.

 

[Boondock_Saint]

He must have no more than two arms, like bending his elbows, enjoys drinking water, and he must must MUST have a digestive system.


Oh and he has to have a neck.

This cracks me up. I also look for two arms, two eyes, and the ability to stay alive.
-must want to have kids
-cannot be taller than I am (I'm pretty short 5'5")
-I don't like a controlling attitude from a woman
-Can't be clingy
-Uptight does not work with me.

I want someone who wants to live life as much as I do. I want to meet somone who does something for the sake of doing it.

I have a neck by the way

 

[Ariadne_GR]

Someone who isn't controlling
Not a big drinker/smoker
Not too different in terms of life goals
If he wants children that is an extreme deal breaker. Move on!

 

[Brian75]

Deal breakers cont.
If they have sin

We all sin every single one of us, saved and unsaved.

 

[Brian75]

I have a disabled brother, and as it is he will likely never be able to live on his own.

Our parents are getting older and I decided a few years ago that I'll never let him go into a one of those homes so long as I was alive.
That is what I have found to be the biggest issue for men back when I was dating. Based on the responses of "caring Christian men" on this when I bring it up I'm never going to have any long term partner in this life.
So, yes I have a dealbreaker, and it is a lifelong one. And honestly, I am fine with it. I have no interest in someone who isn't going to put work into a life together anyway - this just get's them gone faster and keeps me realistic.

It's crazy that someone would hold this against you. 50 years or more ago chances were high that our parents would be living with us in there later years. I see this as no different as if he was your child ya know. Some men need to grow up and step up!!!

 

[Timyone]

I guess the racism thing, and there is some thing about a caring nature towards other people, I guess I care slightly too much about disturbing other people, and being rude instead of nice to staff in shops etc. I have met people that don't seem to have a care about people who are worse off, and I would like some one who is interested in going and doing some thing.

 

[Timyone]

Having the chance of needing to look after a persons other family member, parent etc, is a big commitment in the future, that could take up a lot of time in the relationship. It is a big commitment, but no bigger than taking on kids etc. I have come across the kid's, but not across the other family member yet, and I guess it would depend on how well I get along with the member. I am a nurse, and am quite good with that sort of thing, but would have to consider it in the situation, I don't know how I would react. I assume that if I was into the girl, it wouldn't get in the way.

(I like hanging out with different disabilitiesquite often any way, have done some mental health nursing, and disability work) (I would totally be up for a down syndrome member of the family!)

 

[girlperson]

- Not a Christian
- Abusive (emotional or physical)
- Lying
- Overly critical
- Unfaithful
- Rude
- Drugs / Smoking

Hmm. I probably have more that I'm not thinking of!

(Not really on topic, but I can't get my avatar to show up! Any hints? PM me if you're a computer-whiz and can help!)

 

[Nom De Guerre]

My guess would be that the picture you're trying to use exceeds the limitations required for an upload

 

[Blank123]

NonChristian
Christian but doesn't hold to same core doctrines I do
Doesn't want children
No interest in taking care of himself
Abusive or neglectful
Arrogant/self-righteous
extreme interest in politics

 

[Toro]

Id like to add one, she won't try to kill me or have me killed

That's kind of the biggest one.