Wow, I can't believe I woke up to find my little question had turned into a six page thread! I want to express to everyone who has participated the fact that I appreciate every post in this thread. I especially appreciate the fact that conflicting points of view have been aired.
For context:
Since my conversion, I have never maintained a regular schedule of confession and communion. I vowed to change that this Lent.
Up until now, I went to confession intermittently and so I would confess everything that came to mind. Easy.
But now I'm having to actually ascertain which of my sins are mortal and which venial. And I'm used to having a sizable list of sins to confess - so I'm unused to the feeling of "Oh, I have nothing to confess." And so I feel that I must be leaving something out, and if I'm leaving something out, then I am at risk of damnation!
Yes, I can be what is called in secular psychology "anal," and I can tend toward the Pharisaical when it comes to watching my own behavior and judging myself. Given the opportunity, I could easily tend toward scrupulosity.
Over the last year or so, my attendance at Church has been spotty and my walk with Christ has been terribly deficient, and one symptom has been that my mouth has been a bit foul. Still tame compared to my friends and most movies, but fouler than I'd like. So Lent has meant the beginning of my effort to tame that tongue.
I have felt so encouraged that I have been making it to regular confession but it's been crushing to be unable to receive communion despite this.
Oh, and I'm already driving 20 minutes out of the way because I found a great Church in another neighborhood that offers more frequent confession and other stuff that is great.
Don't trust "feelings" brother. They can deceive us from receiving Jesus because of wrong guilt or from getting to confession because of lack of contrition. We need to pray for wisdom, knowlege and discernment.
Make a "choice" for Jesus. Try to leave feelings aside if you can because they so often cloud our judgement.
There is a learning curve to knowing what is and isn't mortal or venial sin. Feelings can say the opposite thing to us. The CCC is the infallible Magisterial teaching of the Church. You can take it to the bank as truth and whole heartedly put your faith in what it says. Remember all venial sins are good to confess but they do not exclude us from communion and study of the Church defined requirements for a sin to be mortal will serve you well.
You see that slacking off has hardened your speech. Same thing happens to me and its how I know its time for me to get to confession even if I haven't fallen mortally. Its preventative maintenance for the soul (along with the Eucharist) that supplies the grace I need to be preserved from mortal sin. I don't have to miss communion of those things venial though. That you recognize this hardening is wonderful in a way because you will also see how turning to Jesus will have the opposite affect and soften your heart as well.
Finding the right balance for you will supply you with what your lacking and you will see it turn around. It will take finding that right balance for you. And at times this balance can change. Self assessment is important. Try getting your hands on some various (approved) exam of conscience booklets, they can be a great help as well.
The precept of the Church is annual confession but that is a goal. One I cannot meet.
I must go at least every 5-6 weeks. Knowing myself as I do, If I waited for the precept to come around I would have already fallen apostate and or into mortal sin and may not even be attending Church any more. I have gone this route twice and the road back is as long as the one that took me away.
We are called out of the world as a people of prayer. I recall reading somewhere that Pope John Paul II would go to confession weekly at times.
There is always something to confess. Yet at each confession, even what we have forgotten to confess is absolved if were not purposely omitting it. I some times make a list when I prepare for confession of things that have weighed on my mind since the last time I went. This is where the use of exams of consciences are of great help to me in order to recall those things. I do this not out of scruple but so I don't forget and can make as good a confession as possible but after those things are absolved I get rid of the list because those things are blotted out and remembered by the Lord no more. Some people burn their lists in effigy.
Lastly, there is room for opposing view points but there is only one truth and one balance for you personally.
All the best. Dagnabit
