@EmSw
I submit to you Ephesians 1:4-14:
"For he chose us in him before the creation of the world to be holy and blameless in his sight. In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will— to the praise of his glorious grace, which he has freely given us in the One he loves. In him we have redemption through his blood, the forgiveness of sins, in accordance with the riches of God’s grace that he lavished on us. With all wisdom and understanding, he made known to us the mystery of his will according to his good pleasure, which he purposed in Christ, to be put into effect when the times reach their fulfillment—to bring unity to all things in heaven and on earth under Christ.
In him we were also chosen, having been predestined according to the plan of him who works out everything in conformity with the purpose of his will, in order that we, who were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. And you also were included in Christ when you heard the message of truth, the gospel of your salvation. When you believed, you were marked in him with a seal, the promised Holy Spirit, who is a deposit guaranteeing our inheritance until the redemption of those who are God’s possession—to the praise of his glory."
The Cross was not plan B. Our Heavenly Father, who is timeless, has had the entire plan worked out from eternity past, to include who He has chosen. What you and I aren't directly privy to is
who He has chosen. So what do we do about that?
Ask yourself: "Do I love God?"
"We love Him because He first loved us." 1 John 4:19
Why is it so hard for you to accept that "grace" is "unmerited favor". Unmerited means you didn't earn it. In this context, you
couldn't earn it.
You love God and wish to serve Him: our entire thesis asserts one thing and one thing only: that you give God the credit He rightfully deserves for every part of your salvation.
Our sanctification...welllllll...that's where this stuff gets difficult. Not difficult to understand, mind you, but very difficult to execute, but the very fact that you and I are concerned with sanctification--becoming progressively more and more holy as we walk with Christ and follow Him--is, in itself evidence of the Holy Spirit alive in us.
The beautiful aspect of the Reformed theological worldview is that whatever trial I encounter, I may start from the presupposition that God has ordained it for His glory (for which I was created), but also for my spiritual growth and gain, and so I will be equipped with everything I need to persevere and grow
stronger in my faith.