• Welcome to Christian Forums
  1. Welcome to Christian Forums, a forum to discuss Christianity in a friendly surrounding.

    Your voice is missing! You will need to register to be able to join in fellowship with Christians all over the world.

    We hope to see you as a part of our community soon and God Bless!

Featured Burned Out and Cynical

Discussion in 'Christian Advice' started by Matthew Frazier, Dec 6, 2017.

  1. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Thanks so much, thesunisout! I have been criticized in the past for being too offensive, but I'm glad this is not confined to just me and its something we all struggle with! Thanks for helping me keep an open-heart about God and church! Praise Him for victory and forgiveness :)
     
  2. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Haha amen to that Tom! You are right, I was definitely looking at the surface from only just a few scriptures, which has been the source of many misunderstandings. Thanks for guiding me towards seeking God!
     
  3. Sarah G

    Sarah G Human bean. Supporter

    741
    +925
    Netherlands
    Christian
    Married
    Welcome to CF! I pray that you will find rest, comfort and healing in the Holy Spirit and when you have been able to recover enough will find the right church or group of Christians for support and fellowship. God bless you, Matthew :twohearts:
     
  4. YouAreAwesome

    YouAreAwesome ☝✌

    +867
    Christian
    Married
    Hey Mat,

    Life isn't about pleasing control freaks at church that's for sure! Spend time enjoying God's Presence and go out and have some fun. Awesome that you have shut the door on those guys. Leave them to their own problems and start afresh. Church is meant to be a place where we can come together, relax, enjoy each others company and worship God. The Garden of Eden is properly translated "Garden of Pleasure". God created us to enjoy ourselves! So do those things you love and do them in the Spirit.

    Welcome to CF bro.
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Winner Winner x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  5. Liza B.

    Liza B. His grace is sufficient Supporter

    803
    +344
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    Hi there,

    From what I've read about your church thus far, you are right, they are putting a lot of pressure on a young Christian.

    Really, that's the overriding impression I get from your post. It is natural for new Christians to be "on fire"--but everything needs to age. Our Lord and the Bible used a lot of wine references, and I never believe this is an accident. We need to age well, like a good vintage. It cannot be rushed, we need to marinate: in God's Word, in the Spirit, in the company of good, mature, wise, knowledgeable believers. We cannot be forcefed the word and then rushed off to evangelize others. You have probably heard it said but it's so true: Christianity is a marathon, not a sprint.

    Please, please, try to find a church that is not legalistic but which prizes the Scriptures. Which believes what God's Word says about all of us having different gifts and talents. Which will allow you to mature and recognizes that you HAVE to before you are fit for mature service (this is not a personal knock on you; it's just a reality). These churches are not easy to find, but they ARE out there.

    And what everyone else said--you will still find fallible people in all churches. Otherwise, Jesus would not have had to come! :)
     
    • Like Like x 2
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  6. Homer Les

    Homer Les New Member

    21
    +23
    Canada
    Christian
    Married
    As ones who have left organized religion we can really empathize with what you have been through. It isn't easy. The immaturity of believers is a problem in a great deal of churches today. Just remember that we all have the 'self' nature in us and as we get together in groups that 'self' nature comes out. It comes out in us and it comes out in them. Can't help it because that is what relationships tend to do. God works through these things to test us and teach us. I know it is not easy. We readily understand what you are going through. Know that you are not alone and this is a part of the maturing process.

    I realize there is lots of people here giving you good thoughts and encouragement. I can only add that you are doing well, despite what it feels like. What would be more concerning is if you weren't hurt by what happened and upset about it. The fact that there is angst in your soul is only a good indication that your heart is still tender toward God and wants more of Him. Nothing wrong with that. Keep following Him in obedience and you will find your way.

    God bless
    Homer Les and Wanda Ring
     
    • Like Like x 1
    • Useful Useful x 1
    • List
  7. eleos1954

    eleos1954 Member Supporter

    203
    +106
    United States
    Christian
    Married
    US-Others
    Sorry to hear of your negative experiences with organized churches. I don't go to organized church but I do personal study at home. Going to church does not save a person. I'm not saying at all that a person shouldn't go to church.

    I was involved in a bible study for 2 years with 3 other ladies, and I would question things that were being taught .... and my questions created a subtle dissension in the group. One day the "leader" of the group made this statement in response to a questions I had. "Well, I don't know but this is what we believe." Wake up call for me, I wasn't there to learn what they believed, I was there to understand what Gods word says. To make a long story short. I left the group and have been doing independent study on my own on many things (about 3-1/2 years now) ... Gods word of course intensively, but history, historical documents, theologies, archeology, reformation, counter reformation, cultures. I have made amazing and I mean amazing discoveries about many many things.

    About organized church, we the people are not there to be spoon fed a certain way of belief, actually we are there to verify and compare through Gods word what is being taught is in harmony with Gods word.

    I am a child of God and I belong to Him and His church, His Word. He promises if we seek we will find. New light with intensive study in His word and through the wisdom of the Holy Spirit new light is given to me all the time, over time.

    Our God is a awesome, loving God.

    And I am at peace. Be at peace my friend .... be at peace.

    John 14:27

    “Peace I leave with you, My peace I give to you; not as the world gives do I give to you. Let not your heart be troubled, neither let it be afraid.”

    God Bless.

    Psalm 119:15-16 I will study your commandments and reflect on your ways. I will delight in your decrees and not forget your word.

    1 Corinthians 2:11

    For who among men knows the thoughts of a man except the spirit of the man which is in him? Even so the thoughts of God no one knows except the Spirit of God.

    Colossians 1:9

    For this reason also, since the day we heard of it, we have not ceased to pray for you and to ask that you may be filled with the knowledge of His will in all spiritual wisdom and understanding,

    Amen
     
  8. Tree of Life

    Tree of Life Chillbro Swaggins

    +1,715
    United States
    Presbyterian
    Married
    I think that the Christian life can be described as a series of bad experiences with the church (but also good ones!). Jesus himself had bad experiences with the church and continues to have bad experiences with his church. There is no church that will ever perfectly minister to you, accept you, or understand you because churches are made of sinners. My advice is to accept the church for what it is and not expect it to do what Jesus alone can do for you. Then love the church and participate in its life without expecting anything in return. Expectations are resentment waiting to happen.
     
    • Agree Agree x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  9. Bible Believing Gentiles

    Bible Believing Gentiles New Member

    65
    +22
    United States
    Christian
    Widowed
    This is a sad story told time and time again, even by myself.

    I have a video that may help with this question, truly, this is not some kind of advertisement. It's a short version of my Christian testimony involving the "Church" before I got "saved"



    Our times are full of apostasy, brother. dont let them take away from the gospel, it's here to stay. I don't even go to church anymore, I went to like 5 in a row and threw my hands up and started doing my own thing
     
  10. Tom Farebrother

    Tom Farebrother Well-Known Member Supporter

    +2,486
    Romania
    Christian
    Married
    Bit harsh maybe? I think you have to have some expectations, or at least you can have some expectations, when getting to know other Christians
     
  11. Guide To The Bible

    Guide To The Bible Guide To The Bible

    +209
    United Kingdom
    Christian
    Private
    [Staff edit]. You've put this or that church between you and Jesus but don't make another mistake by excommunicating yourself from fellowship either. Start going to other churches and meeting other Christians, and keep listening for the Holy Spirit to guide you to the right one/s. Don't necessarily settle for one Church, you may enjoy going to two or more Churches for different reasons. The Body of Christ can be found in almost every Church. Enjoy your fellowship with many Christians at different Churches rather than end up feeling resentful toward one Church. But the main thing is to keep Jesus first in your life even if it means abstaining from Church altogether for short periods.

    P.S. I made these mistakes myself :)
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2017
  12. ToBeLoved

    ToBeLoved Well-Known Member Supporter

    +4,170
    Non-Denom
    Private
    I would add checkout a church on their website before you even attend. I would look at their theological positions and look at the Bible and check out each one before I even went.

    that way, when you get there you don't have open questions about their theology and can enjoy the experience more. At least this is what I do.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2017
    • Like Like x 1
    • Friendly Friendly x 1
    • List
  13. aiki

    aiki Regular Member

    +1,604
    Canada
    Baptist
    Married
    CA-Conservatives
    Matthew 16:24-25
    24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, "If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me.
    25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it.


    If you're going to be a true disciple of Christ, then dying to yourself is inevitable - and constant. How do you think you need to die to yourself in your interactions with the community of believers in which you've settled yourself? God wants to use you to activate positive change in the Body of Believers. He has given you a spiritual gift that He intends you to use to the benefit of the Church. You can't be used by Him this way if you cut off all participation in your local community of believers. As has been said, there is no perfect Christian community; you aren't perfect and neither are your brothers and sisters in Christ. If you want to be useful to God among them, though, you will have to take up your cross and live the self-sacrificing life of Christ.
     
  14. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ It's My Birthday!

    +3,694
    United States
    Protestant
    Widowed
    [Staff edit].

    Oh, I feel your pain because I know about that type of church. Take a break, but not from God. God is more merciful than any of us on this earth.
     
    Last edited by a moderator: Dec 8, 2017
  15. Phoebe Ann

    Phoebe Ann From Mormonism to Christ It's My Birthday!

    +3,694
    United States
    Protestant
    Widowed
    It isn't only about self-sacrificing --- it's being treated as a brother or sister and getting proper rest and nourishment for our physical bodies. It isn't about judging others for how many meetings a person attends each week, because the number of meetings isn't mentioned in the Bible.
     
  16. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Hey dude, I really appreciate your kind words! Thank you for reminding me that I’m not in this walk to serve people but because God loves me! Wonderful that I’m not living in control of people but under freedom in Christ!
     
  17. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Haha amen to that friend! Thanks so much! I’m thankful that I’ve been able to break free from that hard situation, and that God wants us to seek and understand Him and not to be spoon fed! I’m excited to find a place that appreciates my gifts. :)
     
  18. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    These kind words are very much appreciated. I am humbled by your understanding. I had a solid childhood because of my introduction to Christ early on, but since I was also sheltered being an only child I also felt very alone in these struggles and felt as if my feelings were wrong if I got criticized. Thanks you for showing God’s love to me! It’s a gift.
     
  19. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    That is true. The last statement sums up my experience well!
     
  20. Matthew Frazier

    Matthew Frazier New Member

    58
    +47
    United States
    Christian
    Single
    Wow, thanks for sharing this link! This I so encouraging you and I are in the same boat! Letting go and letting God is the way to do it!
     
Loading...