Approval of divorce and remarriage

[Jessica Ryan]

So once he cheated the covenant was broke, we were not married but he kept sleeping with me and others, im sure some where he emotionally divorced me, it's like we were roommates the whole time. Ok thank you yes I do believe in waiting to have sex, I have not always followed that way but I can start now especially after everything. Thank you so much all this has helped me.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

I see that now lol but see until recently I was deceived, now I'm just really starting to digest and except it's a process.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

I believe way before I found out about the first infidelity he had already done it possibility alot, it majes sense. It's taken me way to long to see everything, im glad I finally am getting it, it gives me peace.

 

[Sophrosyne]

So once he cheated the covenant was broke, we were not married but he kept sleeping with me and others, im sure some where he emotionally divorced me, it's like we were roommates the whole time. Ok thank you yes I do believe in waiting to have sex, I have not always followed that way but I can start now especially after everything. Thank you so much all this has helped me.

Covenants are contracts and even though parts of it can be broken it takes the party that incurs damages because of it to terminate it. It is not broken until you decide it is essentially. If you feel he cannot "pay" the price you seek to make things right then you can decide to quit the contract based upon his no honoring it. In the Bible God talked many times about covenants being broken and in the end a new covenant was offered because Israel broke the old one. Many Jews are still keeping the old covenant even though God has a new one they refuse to agree to.
Someone who won't honor a contract sooner or later you have to cancel the contract with them and perhaps sue them for damages in court.

 

[Sophrosyne]

I believe way before I found out about the first infidelity he had already done it possibility alot, it majes sense. It's taken me way to long to see everything, im glad I finally am getting it, it gives me peace.

If he is sleeping around you need to stop sleeping with him as he can get infected with an STD and pass it on to you and there is now monkeypox going around plus HIV etc.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

If he is sleeping around you need to stop sleeping with him as he can get infected with an STD and pass it on to you and there is now monkeypox going around plus HIV etc.

He is in jail. So a few months ago I found out he has hep-c we have been married 7 yrs never told me he has had it for a long time. Also I only can prove 2 times he has cheated. I'm sure has been more.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

If he is sleeping around you need to stop sleeping with him as he can get infected with an STD and pass it on to you and there is now monkeypox going around plus HIV etc.

Also never will I sleep with him again, I have default divorce court date in October.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

Covenants are contracts and even though parts of it can be broken it takes the party that incurs damages because of it to terminate it. It is not broken until you decide it is essentially. If you feel he cannot "pay" the price you seek to make things right then you can decide to quit the contract based upon his no honoring it. In the Bible God talked many times about covenants being broken and in the end a new covenant was offered because Israel broke the old one. Many Jews are still keeping the old covenant even though God has a new one they refuse to agree to.
Someone who won't honor a contract sooner or later you have to cancel the contract with them and perhaps sue them for damages

He has not "payed" or even tried to, to much damage done and no willingness to repair on his part, I get all the blame. Trust has been severed and I don't think I can ever trust him again.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

Covenants are contracts and even though parts of it can be broken it takes the party that incurs damages because of it to terminate it. It is not broken until you decide it is essentially. If you feel he cannot "pay" the price you seek to make things right then you can decide to quit the contract based upon his no honoring it. In the Bible God talked many times about covenants being broken and in the end a new covenant was offered because Israel broke the old one. Many Jews are still keeping the old covenant even though God has a new one they refuse to agree to.
Someone who won't honor a contract sooner or later you have to cancel the contract with them and perhaps sue them for damages in court.

So if I have decided to quit, I should go no contact asap, no telling him its over, just stop. I am still in contact, only thew calls I can block him when he calls from the jail.

 

[RDKirk]

He basically is acting like he isn't married to you by his actions which means he has divorced you but doesn't want you to divorce him also.

Yes, a spouse can leave the marriage without leaving the house.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

Yes, a spouse can leave the marriage without leaving the house.

He is in jail, the house belongs to my parents rn.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

I meant its best not to tell him I'm going to divorce him, go no contact end marriage?

 

[Sophrosyne]

I meant its best not to tell him I'm going to divorce him, go no contact end marriage?

That would be up to the court as to what you can do in your state regarding divorce proceedings and notification and property etc. Divorce can get complicated.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

No , I already filed a year ago but have canceled the court date, it is a default hearing he has already Bern served and did not fill a answer.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

No , I already filed a year ago but have canceled the court date, it is a default hearing he has already Bern served and did not fill a answer.

Also we hardly ever lived together, he has a few thing here so I am taking them to his dads trailer. What is on my possession is mine and what is in his possession is his.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Hello all!

Posting a problem / quandary that's been troubling me lately. I have a personal belief that Divorce is wrong. I also see that divorce is clearly spoken against by the Scriptures.

Here's my question. I see clearly that Christ condemned divorce for any reason but adultery. However, my brother in law is divorced and now marrying a new woman. Would I be compromising by attending his second wedding? Or does agreeing and affirming our Lord's teaching mean I should not attend?

I would love thoughtful, biblical answers. Feel free to challenge me. I want to do the Lords will.

It all depends on who is responsible for the divorce. There are acceptable reasons for divorce: desertion, domestic violence, an unbelieving spouse deciding the leave the marriage, and adultery.

My view is that a believer in Christ is obedience to His commands. If a spouse deserts the marriage, or is domestically violent, he or she stops being a true believer unless he or she repents and shows the fruit of it. In terms of the marriage an unrepentance deserter or violent spouse is unbelieving and therefore the marriage contract is voided. This puts the innocent spouse in a position where he or she is no longer in bondage to the unbelieving partner and remarriage is not prohibited.

But even if the responsible spouse has broken the marriage and circumstances occur where reconciliation is impossible (the innocent spouse remarrying or refusing reconciliation), then the principle that "all manner of sin and iniquity shall be forgiven". Divorce is not the unforgiveable sin, and a divorced person is not condemned to a life of celibacy. It is recognised that not all can cope with a life a celibacy, and we see this in the scandals involving the celibate priesthood. Paul said that it is better to marry than to burn if a person is unable to cope with a life a celibacy. I believe that this applies just as much to divorced people as for singles.

As for the accusation of a remarried Christian committing adultery, even when any of us look at someone with lust, we commit adultery without even engaging in the act, so under those rules we all are in the firing line. So for a divorced person it is better to walk softly before God and to remain in His will and not be wrongly influenced by the judgment of those who went not crucified for him and therefore have no right to judge him in these matters.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

Deeply considering this. Thank you!

When we consider the Scriptures concerning Jesus and Paul about divorce, we see in the case of Jesus, He was answering a question from a hypocritical Pharisee who was trying to trap Him in saying something contrary to what Moses taught in the Law. Therefore He was not directing His response to the people in general. That has to be taken into account when quoting Jesus about divorce and remarriage.

Paul's teaching about divorce to the Corinthians was to counter the tendency of some in the church who were walking out of their marriages because of the erroneous notion that the single life brought a person closer to God. He was not dealing with divorce through desertion, domestic violence or adultery. He was countering divorce for no reason other than wanting to be more spiritual with God. He was quite clear in saying that particular reason is no reason for divorcing one's spouse. Also, he had no teaching for a spouse who was the innocent victim of a divorcing spouse.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

One can not be totally sure about salvation, but we can judge other by their fruits. I've found however unless someone confesses that they are a believer pointing out their sins is for the most part a waste of time. Until they feel the tug of the Holy Spirit on them most people don't think about sins the way God does they try to balance good/evil on a scale and when it tips one way or another that is what they are. This is how many people who have narcissistic tendencies think they can get away with things by comparing themselves to other sinners or having an inflated value of good deeds to cancel out their bad things. What ends up happening however is they are good to the people that they like and bad to those who they don't like. As long as they find someone to be good to (to them) it cancels out their evil. Christians must believe our deeds don't cancel our sins, we are rewarded for them if we are saved but overall perhaps those in hell don't suffer as much if they don't spend all their time doing evil so a good thing can give them a short vacation from chronic sinning. I've been around people that are Christian that still do evil and that is because they themselves define right and wrong not God. I believe they are saved but unable to stop sinning it is like a tug of war in their spirit to hang on to Jesus with bad times they grab on, and good times they..... let go again.

About a month ago he was always wanting me to go to the park so he could see me but I never went, he said everyday he looked and hoped I would be at the park when I wasn't he would be mad at me, he Said one day he realized that if I was at the park and he did see me he would feel only better but after I left he would go back to feel the way he was, he said he was looking for me to save him, fix him, but that I can't save him, that only God can, so he knows only God can help him, I was surprised by him telling me that, but it gave me joy he recognized it. It makes me want to not give up.

 

[Jessica Ryan]

About a month ago he was always wanting me to go to the park so he could see me but I never went, he said everyday he looked and hoped I would be at the park when I wasn't he would be mad at me, he Said one day he realized that if I was at the park and he did see me he would feel only better but after I left he would go back to feel the way he was, he said he was looking for me to save him, fix him, but that I can't save him, that only God can, so he knows only God can help him, I was surprised by him telling me that, but it gave me joy he recognized it. It makes me want to not give up.

Oh he is in jail, the jail is by a park, so when he looks out the window he can see the park. Just needed to clarify.

 

[Presbyterian Continuist]

About a month ago he was always wanting me to go to the park so he could see me but I never went, he said everyday he looked and hoped I would be at the park when I wasn't he would be mad at me, he Said one day he realized that if I was at the park and he did see me he would feel only better but after I left he would go back to feel the way he was, he said he was looking for me to save him, fix him, but that I can't save him, that only God can, so he knows only God can help him, I was surprised by him telling me that, but it gave me joy he recognized it. It makes me want to not give up.

You can't save or reform anyone. All you can do is to share the Gospel with him - that Jesus died on the Cross to take away his sins, and if he repents of all known sins, believes the Gospel and puts his trust in Christ, he will be saved, and have the indwelling Holy Spirit to transform him into the person Christ wants him to be.

But I would continue in prayer to make sure that the guy's motives are pure. This is the problem when a male in his position is attracted to a female in your position. You need to be as harmless as a dove and wise as a serpent in these matters. You need to be ultra sensitive to what the Holy Spirit might say to you, because He knows the hearts of people and when dealing with a guy in prison who is wanting to get to know you better, it is best to deal with that with a long barge pole, ready to run away if things turn pear shaped.