I'm not sure if this is the right category but my mom is making my life a nightmare. She bullies me all the time and expects me to cater to her every needs. I have a boyfriend which she is totally against (I'm 24). We were all going to church tonight until my mom found out that my boyfriend was going. She said that she is staying home because she wants no part of our relationship. She's acting like I stopped her from going when I didn't. She's stopping her self because she's refusing to go. She is a big bully. I'm being serious. You don't know what I've been through and it's all been by her. She acts like a total narcissist. Do you think I'm stopping her from going? My boyfriend is a good Christian guy and I care about him and he just wants to go to church with me. My dad is the driver because we both can't drive yet but hopefully I'll learn soon. Every relationship I'm in, my mom tries to ruin it somehow. She always finds a way to destroy it by calling him and telling him things or making a post about him on facebook. This is not Christian like at all. I'm trying to live a good life and she's ruining it. She all the time complains about how I need to find a man and get "raped" or married. She's been saying this since I was 13. Well right when I find one, she goes completely against everything she said. This is absurd. What should I do?
First, you need to stop critiquing your parents. Do not say "this is not christian like". Leave that for G-d himself to determine. Honor your mother, not talk badly about her behind her back.
To the main issue. You know that G-d wants you in Church. So you go to church whether your mother goes, or has a problem with it or not.
Second, you are an adult. At age 18, you are now responsible for you. Do you understand? You are not obligated to follow your mother, or your father anymore. You are obligated to honor them, by not saying they are acting badly on a forum somewhere, but you are also not required to follow their demands or advice.
Third, you wish to be married, and you have met someone who wants to be married.... you need to get married, and start your life together.
There is a pastor Mark Gungor, who grew up in not a terrible home, but it was a little crazy. At age 18 he met a Christian women, that he wanted to marry, and his mother was exactly like yours. She absolutely hated him being in this relationship, or getting married, and he just told her the time and place of the marriage, and if she didn't come, that was her loss. He stayed married to this wonderful woman for decades.
If I find the video of him saying this, I'll post it here for you to watch.
But the point is, he honored his mother, but he didn't follow her demands. He was an adult at 18, and he made his own choices.
You are an adult woman. You don't need to be concerned anymore about your mother. Your mother is an adult woman herself, and she is responsible for her own choices.
Go, and worship the Lord, and marry this man who you care about, and who cares about you. Do not date him for the next 10 years. If you are not moving towards marriage, then move on. You are already 24 years old. Time goes by my friend.
But worry not about what your mother thinks. Honor her for raise you to this point, and now you need to spread your own wings, and fly.
If that means finding a roommate to live with, so you can get out of a toxic environment at home, then that is what you need to do. Do not move in with a man you are not married to.
I wish you the best young daughter
