29 & Never Dated

[DragonFox91]

The only advice I can give you, coming out from the same boat, is to go out and try to find girls who will sleep with you. You will have to forget the part "being pure", because in today's materialistic world (a world that lacks morality) the mass population doesn't care about your morals or mine, especially women. Things have been twisted a long time ago, good is bad and bad is good. Christian men don't date christian women and vice versa, it's only a small percentage that does. If you believe in the old fairy tail that God has someone "special" for you, then you've been lied to by the mass like many have been.

Let me give you an example, you want a bicycle, but you don't have money to buy that bicycle, and you're in a dilemma (tempted) whether you should steal the bicycle or wait in "God's time" for you to make money and buy yourself a new one. So what do you do when you have been poor your whole life? Do you still wait for a job to buy yourself a new bicycle or steal it? If you wait, you will only get tormented like you have been before and you won't know whether you will find a job to buy a bicycle or stay poor your whole life living with a false hope that you will someday get a bicycle.

It's the same with men and women. What are you going to do? Still keep waiting for God to gift you a woman from the heavens or are you going to make a sacrifice in order things to finally work out? For you to find a woman?

The only price you will have to pay is sacrificing your own emotions, that means by the time you will find the girl, your heart will be turned to stone, just like many. Both of you will be together because of some emotion, something that connects both but neither of you cannot experience what a virgin couple would experience in their life long marriage.

Maybe the first woman you will sleep with will be the "one", although the chances are 0.1% to none. Date a few and make sure you sleep with them. So you can gather experience on how to talk, flirt and sexually arouse women.

I don't know about the others what answers they have given you, but I can assume it's the "God has someone special for you, you just have to wait". Leave that nonsense behind.

One thing I can tell you is that, for a guy, if you come from a normal, healthy, caring, loving family, then you won't have many problems in your life, especially dating. But that's the case with many men. For women it's easy to find a man, even if they're "depressed, and in despair" saying "I will never get married, I will never find a man" in the end they always find a man.

You should also take into consideration that social media has ruined the dating market. Just leave it behind, don't watch it, don't have any thing what's said on social media on your mind.

It's hard in the beginning to notice the little things in dating, and I know, but that will pass quickly when you get experience. It's like any existing job that you don't know what the heck is going on prior to having no experience. And when you get experience, you're like "oh this it's easy".

Some of this I agree with (the reasoning), some of this I don't (the overall negative no-hope attitude). In regards to your little analogy: you wait for the bicycle. .___.
Also I don't think I'd want to just sleep w/ any girl. I know a lot of men have that view but I do not. If there's not any meaning to it, it's just a waste of time, you might as well just watch a good movie or read a good book for something.

 

[F.E.A.R.]

Some of this I agree with (the reasoning), some of this I don't (the overall negative no-hope attitude). In regards to your little analogy: you wait for the bicycle. .___.

Your choice. The "overall negative no hope attitude" is our reality today, that's why it sounds so pessimistic. I just have to clarify this, from my experience, and from what I've seen with my eyes in all these years is that God doesn't help people with materialistic stuff, and other stuff in our lives, you have to do it on your own. Many people especially the young go into churches with the hope of having a great life and having the things they always wanted. That's not how it works, this life is a preparation for the next. God used to help people with materialism in the past, and even the little thing in their lives, but things change, things aren't the same 100 years ago, 500 years ago or in the time of David etc.

If your goal is to get a girlfriend, be rich or whatever you have in mind, you have to do it on your own. God won't help you, especially waiting in one place for a miracle to happen.

 

[linux.poet]

Maybe the first woman you will sleep with will be the "one", although the chances are 0.1% to none. Date a few and make sure you sleep with them. So you can gather experience on how to talk, flirt and sexually arouse women.

I don't know about the others what answers they have given you, but I can assume it's the "God has someone special for you, you just have to wait". Leave that nonsense behind.

The worldly advice walks through the door when the chips are down, does it not? You're conflating an unrealistic and unbiblical expectation of a miracle with a refusal to violate God's commands.

However, chronic sleeping with women and treating them (or men) like practice dolls isn't the only way to learn how to deliver pleasure to another human being. I suggest reading Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction instead. Reading that book will empower you to deliver pleasure gradually, in stages of a relationship, without having to rely on sex to do it.

Many young men on this forum are not empowered to deliver pleasure because of their Christian upbringing that taught them that pleasure is evil. However, going out and having sex will not give them (or you) the lesson on how to deliver pleasure, because you are relying on the physical to do so, without properly learning seductive technique. You might be able to gradually pick up the art through practice eventually, but then you pay the price for your sin. Just read the book. (As for physical details, you can literally type "how to give a woman an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]" into Google. Boys, it's the 21st centaury. There is no need to sacrifice your body for knowledge.)

If you are trying to marry someone, you need to balance seduction with agency, but the seduction still needs to be there. In a functioning marriage, when the pleasures of seduction subside, the pleasures of friendship and fellowship in Christ take their place. So read the book and just straight-up learn, but know that you'll have dates that are just friendship and getting information. You match the pace of the seduction to the relationship's progress toward marriage. If the relationship is getting too bland, apply more seduction, if the relationship is getting ahead of itself and is starting to become unrealistic, you step back and spend a day with your bride discussing the house you are going to build together. When the seduction hits the "moving in for the kill" stage it's your wedding night - whoops, Satan failed, ha!

The other problem is, of course, is that you don't want the marriage to be a one-sided seduction - you want the other person to come around and seduce *you* in turn, making you the victim. That's what you have to trust God for. But what is better - a marriage where you have to do all of the work or loneliness? The key is that you have to be willing to do the entire seduction/re-seduction yourself, all of the time, regardless of how your partner responds - be willing to deliver pleasure to them even when they don't give it to you. And if they never seduce you in turn, you have all of the power in the relationship, and power is at least comforting if you never abuse it.

 

[F.E.A.R.]

The worldly advice walks through the door when the chips are down, does it not? You're conflating an unrealistic and unbiblical expectation of a miracle with a refusal to violate God's commands.

Church advice doesn't work in the world, it works inside the Church. And if we look at that way, every sin is a violation of God's commandments, but every sin is forgiven except suicide.

However, chronic sleeping with women and treating them (or men) like practice dolls isn't the only way to learn how to deliver pleasure to another human being.

It's up to the person whether he likes to sleep with many women or certain types of women. But from my perspective. Big deal! Women consider themselves as objects despite what feminism indoctrinates.

I suggest reading Robert Greene's The Art of Seduction instead. Reading that book will empower you to deliver pleasure gradually, in stages of a relationship, without having to rely on sex to do it.

I know that book and I know great books by Dan Bacon as well. Theory isn't going to get a man to a girl he likes and sleep with her. Practice does. Those books are just pin point for men who are lost on where to begin with.

Many young men on this forum are not empowered to deliver pleasure because of their Christian upbringing that taught them that pleasure is evil. However, going out and having sex will not give them (or you) the lesson on how to deliver pleasure, because you are relying on the physical to do so, without properly learning seductive technique. You might be able to gradually pick up the art through practice eventually, but then you pay the price for your sin. Just read the book. (As for physical details, you can literally type "how to give a woman an [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse]" into Google. Boys, it's the 21st centaury. There is no need to sacrifice your body for knowledge.)

Yes it does give lesson on how to deliver pleasure. There you are all wrong. It all depends on the man whether he wants to get better and get to know how to please a woman. You learn seductive techniques through communicating and dating with women, not directly sleeping with them. And yes the price payed through sinning when you're left without a choice. I don't need to read the book.

If you are trying to marry someone, you need to balance seduction with agency, but the seduction still needs to be there. In a functioning marriage, when the pleasures of seduction subside, the pleasures of friendship and fellowship in Christ take their place. So read the book and just straight-up learn, but know that you'll have dates that are just friendship and getting information. You match the pace of the seduction to the relationship's progress toward marriage. If the relationship is getting too bland, apply more seduction, if the relationship is getting ahead of itself and is starting to become unrealistic, you step back and spend a day with your bride discussing the house you are going to build together. When the seduction hits the "moving in for the kill" stage it's your wedding night - whoops, Satan failed, ha!

Dating in the Eastern Orthodox Church is different than what you promote. But what I said is from my own experience and and realistic view. I don't need to read those books.

The other problem is, of course, is that you don't want the marriage to be a one-sided seduction - you want the other person to come around and seduce *you* in turn, making you the victim. That's what you have to trust God for. But what is better - a marriage where you have to do all of the work or loneliness? The key is that you have to be willing to do the entire seduction/re-seduction yourself, all of the time, regardless of how your partner responds - be willing to deliver pleasure to them even when they don't give it to you. And if they never seduce you in turn, you have all of the power in the relationship, and power is at least comforting if you never abuse it.

I never talked about seducing someone you don't like and then being a one sided marriage. I don't understand why are you bringing this up. As long as both man and woman like each other, there's nothing to seduce. I never advise seducing, unless you just want to sleep with a woman for a night and that's all.

If you live the world, you have to adapt to some thing the others do.

When women comment on dating, it just gives me the giggles.

 

[linux.poet]

And if we look at that way, every sin is a violation of God's commandments, but every sin is forgiven except suicide.

This is incorrect. The unpardonable sin is rejecting the Gospel, not suicide. A believer in Christ who commits suicide will be forgiven and is in heaven.

Women consider themselves as objects despite what feminism indoctrinates.

This is incorrect. There is a difference between a quilt and a cat. A quilt is a pleasurable object. A cat is a pleasurable being. A woman is closer to a cat than a quilt.

I never talked about seducing someone you don't like and then being a one sided marriage.

I didn't either. That's not what I was talking about. You can like someone without them actively trying to seduce you.

When women comment on dating, it just gives me the giggles.

Start giggling.

 

[bèlla]

Logic compels me to ask the question few address.

If expectation is overstated and meeting it is challenging for most. That leaves the individual with three choices:

Adjust
Wait
Deny

Given the omission of complaint and frustration from women (when compared to men) its evident the consequences aren’t bothersome.

That’s your problem. When a person reaches a point when waiting or denial is preferable to the alternative you’re left with a quagmire.

They’re wedded to the outcome—the result they’re pursuing—and its their oath. That’s why they can’t be swayed. You can read all the books in the world. You won’t move someone who’s truly resolved. Only God can and I don’t think He will.

There’s a glimmer of truth in many statements. The pain and frustration are genuine and no one can make it better. You may be alone. You may never marry. You may never have the woman of your dreams in the guise you expect. This is where we are.

Life is an unfair advantage. No matter where you turn someone has what another craves. Is it fair? It never will be until we’re with Him.

~bella

 

[Juan777]

Technically most Christians would be voluntarily celibate unless they are married, correct? I mean, if you just want sex, you could just pay a prostitute or, if you're female, go to a bar. I'm pretty sure male sex workers exist too.

Thus, the idea is ridiculous. The difficulty is not in obtaining sex, it is obtaining a relationship suitable for the act of procreation and the bonding opportunities that sex offers.

Prostitutes have demons though. Going at risk of a demonic invasion, some of them might be witches, wiccians or occultists or into something. The demonic realm is real.
You need to know a good exorcist to remove the demons if you catch one from a pro.

 

[bèlla]

@DragonFox91

Check out Prayer Madeuke. Start with Commanding Your Morning to acquaint you with the process and work your way through the books. I’ve gone through most and experienced many breakthroughs and hope you’ll have the same.

Three titles come to mind on your behalf:

91 Days of Decrees to Take Over the Year
Dictionary of Unmerited Favor
100 Days of Prayers to Wake Up Your Lazarus

You can find them on Kindle/Kindle Unlimited.

God bless you.

~bella

 

[linux.poet]

Prostitutes have demons though. Going at risk of a demonic invasion, some of them might be witches, wiccians or occultists or into something. The demonic realm is real.
You need to know a good exorcist to remove the demons if you catch one from a pro.

I don't believe this. Got any Scripture to back these statements up?

 

[DragonFox91]

Let's try to keep this thread PG rated & try to keep talk about sleeping w/, [bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse][bless and do not curse], etc. to a minimum. Thank you.

 

[DragonFox91]

I know double post, but this isn't related to last post.

I am sad today. I feel like a loser. I feel like it'll never change. B/c it never changes. I never make progress. I am not good today.
I feel heartbroken.
I hate this so much.
I hate being single.
Everything's just a distraction from it.
I am completely stuck
What's the point in even trying? It's always a deadend.
FEAR, I can't even find singles at all.
If I wasn't a nerd, I'd probably have one.
I am sad
It will never change. It never has.

Prostitutes have demons though. Going at risk of a demonic invasion, some of them might be witches, wiccians or occultists or into something. The demonic realm is real.
You need to know a good exorcist to remove the demons if you catch one from a pro.

Some probably do, yes.

@DragonFox91

Check out Prayer Madeuke. Start with Commanding Your Morning to acquaint you with the process and work your way through the books. I’ve gone through most and experienced many breakthroughs and hope you’ll have the same.

Three titles come to mind on your behalf:

91 Days of Decrees to Take Over the Year
Dictionary of Unmerited Favor
100 Days of Prayers to Wake Up Your Lazarus

You can find them on Kindle/Kindle Unlimited.

God bless you.

~bella

I don't pray enough. I've never been good at actually taking the time to do it. :/

 

[F.E.A.R.]

@DragonFox91

I mean if you told me you live in a third world country in a isolated small city, then I would've understood that you can't find singles, but you live in the USA a "first world" country in a way. The USA sucks with public transport, I guess you have a drivers license to drive to a bigger city and meet singles there. If you don't want to go to places where singles meet, then go to other churches and find a girl there. I'm not there to pin point you, to help you, you have to do it on your own.

Please drop off your mind that you're a "nerd" and that's the "reason" why women don't like you. I've been a nerd my whole life and that never stopped me from asking a girl out, but my problem was different. Like a said waiting in one place doing nothing isn't going to change things. Of course physical appearance matters, so you need to appeal to the opposite sex, personality comes latter. It doesn't have to be the whole pool of women. Haircut matters the most, eyebrows done, personal hygiene, healthy teeth etc.

Where do you live in Michigan?

 

[DragonFox91]

The area I live isn’t the problem.
& just b/c you like a comic book movie, that doesn't make you a nerd BTW

 

[F.E.A.R.]

The area I live isn’t the problem.

Then what is?

 

[DragonFox91]

Then what is?

I don't know

 

[F.E.A.R.]

I don't know

You are the problem. Yourself. If you cannot help yourself, then you will be stuck in one place.

 

[linux.poet]

If you don't believe that you can compete with other men for the attention of women, you won't do anything to enter the fray and date because you believe that you are powerless.

A lot of posts in this thread seem to be defending the idea that men are powerless to obtain women, a lie that is simply not true. Every man has things that distinguish him from other men, areas that he can compete better in than others. These qualities make him more attractive to women who are interested in those things. For example, my brother is a decent bassoon player and he is refining his bassoon skills to become competitive. That will attract females who are interested in the bassoon and want to help him with it. If your job doesn't allow you to be the best and stand out as exceptional, find something else to affirm that you can be the best at something, no matter how trivial or ridiculous. Sometimes being good at something silly can be charming and make you stand out more to women than being good at something substantial, mostly because it will be funny.

 

[Juan777]

If you don't believe that you can compete with other men for the attention of women, you won't do anything to enter the fray and date because you believe that you are powerless.

A lot of posts in this thread seem to be defending the idea that men are powerless to obtain women, a lie that is simply not true. Every man has things that distinguish him from other men, areas that he can compete better in than others. These qualities make him more attractive to women who are interested in those things. For example, my brother is a decent bassoon player and he is refining his bassoon skills to become competitive. That will attract females who are interested in the bassoon and want to help him with it. If your job doesn't allow you to be the best and stand out as exceptional, find something else to affirm that you can be the best at something, no matter how trivial or ridiculous. Sometimes being good at something silly can be charming and make you stand out more to women than being good at something substantial, mostly because it will be funny.

Do you have any scripture to back that up that it is not a lie?

 

[Juan777]

Dont worry @DragonFox91, I am sure the guys who dont get it are probably chads/chadlites who have it easier and have the luxury of saying its your fault and you are not powerless. Image the nerve for people to say its your fault. Dont worry, Jesus understands and knows our troubles. Keep faith.

 

[linux.poet]

Do you have any scripture to back that up that it is not a lie?

For it was you who formed my inward parts;
you knit me together in my mother’s womb.
14 I praise you, for I am fearfully and wonderfully made.
Wonderful are your works;
that I know very well.
15 My frame was not hidden from you,
when I was being made in secret,
intricately woven in the depths of the earth.
16 Your eyes beheld my unformed substance.
In your book were written
all the days that were formed for me,
when none of them as yet existed.
17 How weighty to me are your thoughts, O God!
How vast is the sum of them!
18 I try to count them—they are more than the sand;
I come to the end—I am still with you.

That intricate weaving includes the connections of the neurons and the chemical makeup in your brain. It has to. Every male human being has been uniquely fashioned by God.

He who finds a wife finds a good thing
and obtains favor from the Lord.

And finding a wife is a worthy endeavor worth pursuing.