29 & Never Dated

[DragonFox91]

Yeah, I've been to Michigan many, many times to visit family. My parents used to take us almost monthly when I was a kid. Meh. Windsor's nothing special as Ontario cities go. You're not missing anything. But you should definitely at least see Niagara Falls from the Canadian side. It's much better. I know I'm biased, but I've heard many Americans say the same.

Yep, I hear everyone say it's better on the Canadian side.

My friends want to take me to Toronto. A short drive across the bridge to Windsor is nothing exciting to them, I guess. But we like hockey, & they've at least mentioned seeing a game in Windsor could be an idea.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

Yep, I hear everyone say it's better on the Canadian side.

My friends want to take me to Toronto. A short drive across the bridge to Windsor is nothing exciting to them, I guess. But we like hockey, & they've at least mentioned seeing a game in Windsor could be an idea.

That sounds like fun! Toronto is a great city to explore. There's lots to see and do. Though I'm ashamed to say I've barely visited it to explore, despite growing up only an hour's drive away. I only really go to Toronto for events and stuff. And only rarely.

I'm not really a sports fan (bad Canadian!), but what hockey team do you cheer for?

 

[DragonFox91]

I feel strange.

The past few days I've felt an optimism/hope/trust/faith in this. This never happens.

I wonder if it coincides w/ the prayer, church-going, Christian-music, etc. that I've really been trying to focus on since the beginning of the year.

That sounds like fun! Toronto is a great city to explore. There's lots to see and do. Though I'm ashamed to say I've barely visited it to explore, despite growing up only an hour's drive away. I only really go to Toronto for events and stuff. And only rarely.

I'm not really a sports fan (bad Canadian!), but what hockey team do you cheer for?

I like the Ducks & Coyotes. I have a soft-spot for underdogs, so never really was a Red Wings fan, tho now they're an underdog, I find I'm starting to like them a little bit more then I used to.

They want to take me to a Windsor Spitfires game. The Spitfires are a junior league. Junior league hockey is apparently very, very big in Canada so they want to show me that.

 

[ReesePiece23]

No

IDK, you may've made the right choice. What if she was 16 & called the cops on you for harassment?

I stuck to my two cans of Monster, my jumbo bag of trail mix, the ibuprofen and the grape flavoured cough syrup. I had a RAGING fever at the time - which was another reason for my social distance. (It's one of the unfortunate side effects I experience when I travel to several countries in short succession.)

I was a bit ahead of my time there wasn't I? I was 'distancing' before it was even a thing. I was probably the original COVID carrier.

 

[sampa]

wonder if it coincides w/ the prayer, church-going, Christian-music, etc. that I've really been trying to focus on since the beginning of the year.

These things can most definitely affect you. One of my darkest times at the age of 32, I did a lot of searching and seeking visiting different churches, talking to different pastors (30), seeking history of the area from various libraries, listening solely to worship music, and of course digging into a good study on the Bible. After about 3 months there was such a joy in my heart it felt like a honeymoon that I had never had with the Lord. Praise was in my dreams and on my lips when I walk in the morning. Keep pursuing the things of God, and you will know a joy in your heart you may have not experienced before.

 

[DragonFox91]

These things can most definitely affect you. One of my darkest times at the age of 32, I did a lot of searching and seeking visiting different churches, talking to different pastors (30), seeking history of the area from various libraries, listening solely to worship music, and of course digging into a good study on the Bible. After about 3 months there was such a joy in my heart it felt like a honeymoon that I had never had with the Lord. Praise was in my dreams and on my lips when I walk in the morning. Keep pursuing the things of God, and you will know a joy in your heart you may have not experienced before.

I've been wanting culture to have a revival. Looks like I'm getting my own individual revival!!

I had an experience in college, where I had never felt Gold's love for me so strongly. This doesn't compare to that tho.

 

[sampa]

I've been wanting culture to have a revival. Looks like I'm getting my own individual revival!!

I had an experience in college, where I had never felt Gold's love for me so strongly. This doesn't compare to that tho.

The more you press into Jesus, there's no guarantees that life gets any easier, but the Peace and Love Of Christ experienced is amazing. That's one of the reasons I want to do the Daniel fast is I have gotten so far away from the Lord and His Joy.

 

[DragonFox91]

 

[DragonFox91]

I think the past few months I've really been understanding what 'you have to be content being single' means.

'Be content being single' was advice many people have given me. I thought 'I've been single my whole life. Yeah, I get frustrated, but I'd say I like myself more then I don't.'

I realize I want God to be a bigger part of my life then he was, & now that I'm trying to make him that, that's making me feel content in the sense I think people meant it. I don't always find joy in the loves of the world. I do in God tho. No woman & little God was hurting me, but I find healing when I make God bigger.

I tried to do that a year or so in college, & it was working, but then I was thrown a curveball & my situation changed a lot & it made me give up (new roommates that were difficult, people in Bible Study changed, struggling w/ job hunting, etc.) I'm trying again tho. I'll still go thru periods of struggle (probably even later today), but I'm trying to fight it. I want to be the man God called me to be. I don't wake up in the morning thinking 'I hate being single'. I wake up thinking 'I don't like being single, but I'm happy God made today anyways.'

Prayers it's not just a phase

 

[DragonFox91]

Ugh, I am hurting right now. I don't like this at all. I want to go on dates.

I think the past few months I've really been understanding what 'you have to be content being single' means.

'Be content being single' was advice many people have given me. I thought 'I've been single my whole life. Yeah, I get frustrated, but I'd say I like myself more then I don't.'

I realize I want God to be a bigger part of my life then he was, & now that I'm trying to make him that, that's making me feel content in the sense I think people meant it. I don't always find joy in the loves of the world. I do in God tho. No woman & little God was hurting me, but I find healing when I make God bigger.

I tried to do that a year or so in college, & it was working, but then I was thrown a curveball & my situation changed a lot & it made me give up (new roommates that were difficult, people in Bible Study changed, struggling w/ job hunting, etc.) I'm trying again tho. I'll still go thru periods of struggle (probably even later today), but I'm trying to fight it. I want to be the man God called me to be. I don't wake up in the morning thinking 'I hate being single'. I wake up thinking 'I don't like being single, but I'm happy God made today anyways.'

Prayers it's not just a phase

I still don't like being single tho.

 

[DragonFox91]

I was doing so good. Now I just want to cry. I never see progress. I never get a date. I just run in circles. Lot of men don't get dates but want them, why should I be any different from them?


My best friend who has similar struggles is hurting today. It's rare seeing him admit it hurts him, usually he's the more optimistic one of us 2 when it comes to this. So it's hurting me too.

 

[MehGuy]

I was doing so good. Now I just want to cry. I never see progress. I never get a date. I just run in circles. Lot of men don't get dates but want them, why should I be any different from them?


My best friend who has similar struggles is hurting today. It's rare seeing him admit it hurts him, usually he's the more optimistic one of us 2 when it comes to this. So it's hurting me too.

Honestly from hearing more about you.. I do wonder why you have this problem.

You seem to make good money, and you work out. Only thing I can think of is that you might be too selective for religious reasons.

 

[pc_76]

Also, how many virgin women do you think there are to go around today, including in Christian circles? And even more especially if you consider having a certain "type"? It seems like everything has to be compromise and their is less benefit.

 

[Isaiah 2:22]

I was doing so good. Now I just want to cry. I never see progress. I never get a date. I just run in circles. Lot of men don't get dates but want them, why should I be any different from them?


My best friend who has similar struggles is hurting today. It's rare seeing him admit it hurts him, usually he's the more optimistic one of us 2 when it comes to this. So it's hurting me too.

It makes me sad that you're doing poorly again, especially after your excellent post from earlier today about contentment. MehGuy is right. You have a lot going for you that many of these other men you are thinking of probably don't have. You just need to work on your anxiety. That's what's stopping you from succeeding.

 

[DragonFox91]

It makes me sad that you're doing poorly again, especially after your excellent post from earlier today about contentment. MehGuy is right. You have a lot going for you that many of these other men you are thinking of probably don't have. You just need to work on your anxiety. That's what's stopping you from succeeding.

In regards to the first bolded line, that's why it's so frustrating.

Hopefully when I'm able to meet girls again, I'm able to control my anxiety. (Although I think I've largely beat my anxiety, I still have anxiety on the dating/girls thing)

Honestly from hearing more about you.. I do wonder why you have this problem.

You seem to make good money, and you work out. Only thing I can think of is that you might be too selective for religious reasons.

Having anxiety most of my life really limited my social circle. I participated in extra-cirrculars, was part of church groups, made friends & met people, but it was still a struggle. I was never really thriving. So that's some of my issue right now: my social circle is a lot smaller then what it should be. Also, I'm not meeting any girls. Everything I try doesn't lead to meeting them.

 

[DragonFox91]

I noticed lately I do good during the day, then start hurting from the work-to-evening transition. From the last hour or so of work, to before starting evening activities.

But even during the weekend, when I'm not working, I start hurting at the same time.

 

[bèlla]

Pain often rears its head during the evening/night. It isn't uncommon to be fine during the day and notice a shift at sunset.

The last person I mentored suffered from anxiety. She was seeing someone but a concern made her over anxious. Xanax didn't help and she took it too often. An ultimatum was the turning point. It forced her to confront the consequences of her choice and make peace with it. Once she did the anxiety left. But when she dwelt on the problem it reared its head.

You desire a God-centered marriage. The price is patience and a willingness to pursue your dream. You can't put a deadline on the process. You're seeking a specific woman within the dating pool. The consequence is time.

If you were considering a larger group you might find her sooner. But you aren't. You're looking for someone with traditional values within the body. That isn't the majority. But don't let that deter you. Make peace with it.

Getting what you want is more fulfilling than settling to fill a void.

 

[DragonFox91]

I am struggling this afternoon.

Pain often rears its head during the evening/night. It isn't uncommon to be fine during the day and notice a shift at sunset.

The last person I mentored suffered from anxiety. She was seeing someone but a concern made her over anxious. Xanax didn't help and she took it too often. An ultimatum was the turning point. It forced her to confront the consequences of her choice and make peace with it. Once she did the anxiety left. But when she dwelt on the problem it reared its head.

You desire a God-centered marriage. The price is patience and a willingness to pursue your dream. You can't put a deadline on the process. You're seeking a specific woman within the dating pool. The consequence is time.

If you were considering a larger group you might find her sooner. But you aren't. You're looking for someone with traditional values within the body. That isn't the majority. But don't let that deter you. Make peace with it.

Getting what you want is more fulfilling than settling to fill a void.

I've been waiting a long time tho. I'm tried of waiting. I don't even know it's going to happen!

I didn't know you mentored someone w/ anxiety. I thought anxiety was kind of new to you. I don't think her's is the same tho.

 

[bèlla]

I've been waiting a long time tho. I'm tried of waiting. I don't even know it's going to happen!

You're looking for a spouse. That's not an overnight process. Dating is step towards it. You may date several people before finding someone who fits.

I didn't know you mentored someone w/ anxiety. I thought anxiety was kind of new to you. I don't think her's is the same tho.

I'd forgotten because she wasn't on the medication for long. When things calmed she stopped taking it. Her anxiety wasn't a constant. It was situational.

Reinforcement was key. Discontentment and frustration didn't alter the consequence. She had to accept it or bow out. There was no middle ground.

 

[DragonFox91]

You're looking for a spouse. That's not an overnight process. Dating is step towards it. You may date several people before finding someone who fits.

I'm not even doing that

I'd forgotten because she wasn't on the medication for long. When things calmed she stopped taking it. Her anxiety wasn't a constant. It was situational.

Reinforcement was key. Discontentment and frustration didn't alter the consequence. She had to accept it or bow out. There was no middle ground.

Yeah, situational is different.