2011 = New Yr & New Things: 10 Tips to Make Him Approach You

[Howard Cneal]

What's that supposed to mean?

I'm not calling anyone in this thread superficial. But I am saying that a man who is attracted by plumage, acting out, and flattery would be superficial. If someone here owns up to that, it's not my responsibility.

You called me superficial.

 

[MacFall]

I would not approach a girl who does not take care of her appearance. If she looks like she just rolled out of bed in the morning, I would not approach her. Why should I...? Because you say so? Mmm, I don't think so.

There's a big difference between looking neat and what the author is talking about. Style is a commercial contrivance, and I very much prefer modesty to "flattering" dress.

And yeah, women (or men) who have a defense or unapproachable posture / body language, like guarding their chest are not seen as approachable. That is a fact, as far as human behavior is concerned.

Horse crap. People who ASSUME that someone is "unapproachable" because of their posture or they way they hold their arms just need to grow up. I did a long time ago. It has done wonders for my social life.

Now obviously, if someone is scowling, they probably aren't in the mood to socialize. But the absence of a smile is not a scowl. The author is describing extroverted behavior as the only alternative to being anti-social. Well, that's bunk. Introversion is NOT anti-social. Not every woman can be an emotive, enthusiastic person. And I don't know about you, but I don't see a lack of emotive behavior and open enthusiasm as a positive indication of anything but introversion.

 

[MacFall]

You called me superficial.

If you need plumage, flattery and acting out to be attracted to a woman, then yes, you are. But I'm not saying you do. If you cop to it, that's your own responsibility.

 

[Howard Cneal]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa...there is a difference between not having a backbone and having the backbone being forcibly ripped out from your body, and that is called social anxiety. If anything, I'd hope women give guys who have that the benefit of the doubt than anything. It's the real deal.

They rarely do, unfortunately.

No one's going to be rude to you if you approach them (I hope) but the idea that women like extreme anxiety and are turned on by it is obviously untrue.

Real is nice. Be real, please. But be real while being confident.

 

[Rhye]

MacFall....so how the heck do you not have girls tripping themselves over you?

I'm dead serious!

 

[Howard Cneal]

If you need plumage, flattery and acting out to be attracted to a woman, then yes, you are. But I'm not saying you do. If you cop to it, that's your own responsibility.

Define "plumage". We're not in 18th century anymore.

I cop to nothing, I'm afraid. I do, however, go by what you say.

You clearly did say that anyone who is attracted to women who dress well (perhaps your definition of "plumage"?) and who does not approach a woman who folds her arms (lol) is shallow.

You have... an interesting definition of "shallow" my friend.

 

[MacFall]

Define "plumage". We're not in 18th century anymore.

Dressing deliberately to attract a mate. Which is EXACTLY what the author of the article recommends.

You clearly did say that anyone who is attracted to women who dress well (perhaps your definition of "plumage"?) and who does not approach a woman who folds her arms (lol) is shallow.

Only if your idea of "dressing well" translates to "stylish" or "flattering" - the former of which, as I said before, is a commercial contrivance; and the latter a sexual ploy.

And yes, if you wouldn't approach a woman who folds her arms. That's not just shallow, it's downright cruel.

 

[MacFall]

MacFall....so how the heck do you not have girls tripping themselves over you?

I'm dead serious!

If I knew the answer to that, I don't think I would be single. Obviously, the girls I know offline don't share the opinions of some of the ladies on this forum about me.

 

[Howard Cneal]

Dressing deliberately to attract a mate. Which is EXACTLY what the author of the article recommends.

Good. And she is right, in that context. I do the same and advocate the same advice to others who are looking for a mate.

Maybe you like the "I just rolled outta bed in the morning" look - that's great. Glad to hear it. I know some girls that you may be interested in. For me though, ain't my thing.

I expect out of a relationship what I put into it and what I bring to the table. I don't do pity dates.

Only if your idea of "dressing well" translates to "stylish" or "flattering" - the former of which, as I said before, is a commercial contrivance; and the latter a sexual ploy.

It definitely translates to stylish. You now have a problem with "stylish?" Are you Amish? No offense to the Amish, of course. They're great people. I just have never heard someone argue against women and men looking nice as vehemently as you have.

And yes, if you wouldn't approach a woman who folds her arms. That's not just shallow, it's downright cruel.

?

How so?

I'm cruel now too? Wow, you're pretty harsh.

Am I cruel because I don't approach girls I do not find attractive too? (Yes.)

 

[MacFall]

Good. And she is right, in that context. I do the same and advocate the same advice to others who are looking for a mate.

Animals put on displays to attract mates. Man, who is created in the image of God, emulates the animals when he "looks at the outward appearance". A Godly man will emulate God, and look at another person's heart. So, dressing up to attract someone based on the outward appearance is a rather animalistic form of vanity.

Maybe you like the "I just rolled outta bed in the morning" look - that's great.

Are you not reading my posts, or are you deliberately misrepresenting what I am saying?

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DRESSING NEATLY AND DRESSING ACCORDING TO POPULAR STYLES AND IN SEXUALLY TANTALIZING WAYS.

How so?

Because by doing so, you are ASSUMING that a girl who is comfortable in that position is a [word I can't say here]. That's just a horrible thing to do.

 

[Rhye]

I fold my arms when I freezing while standing in line to get coffee, then again I am always freezing, does that mean no one can talk to me?

I didn't read everything that was posted just that part, so I might have missed something, I apologize.

 

[Rhye]

Silly internet connection and double posting!!!!!

 

[Howard Cneal]

Animals put on displays to attract mates. Man, who is created in the image of God, emulates the animals when he "looks at the outward appearance". A Godly man will emulate God, and look at another person's heart. So, dressing up to attract someone based on the outward appearance is a rather animalistic form of vanity.

That's your opinion. Based off of evolutionary psychology, it is not only natural and the way humans do things, but there is nothing immoral about it. The topic is hardly worthy of moral pontification...

A good man will look at the heart. I agree.

But before he gets to know her heart, what will attract him to her? Her heart? No. It will be her smile, figure, clothing and smell. This is reality.

Are you not reading my posts, or are you deliberately misrepresenting what I am saying?

THERE IS A DIFFERENCE BETWEEN DRESSING NEATLY AND DRESSING ACCORDING TO POPULAR STYLES AND IN SEXUALLY TANTALIZING WAYS.

Yes, but you didn't say this.

You are blowing up irrationally because I cannot read your mind? This is the internet, friend. I can ONLY go by what you give me. If you tell me something, I am forced to go by that alone. Your tonality, body language and other forms of non-verbal communication get lost.

Because by doing so, you are ASSUMING that a girl who is comfortable in that position is a [word I can't say here]. That's just a horrible thing to do.

You are judging and making assumptions. I never said she was anything at all, one way or the other.

But most people - who suck at body language reading (i.e. MEN) will mistake her gestures for being unfriendly, even if she is just cold. Whether we like it or not, why not be mindful of such things and make the appropriate changes? No one is asking for everyone to change their names or identities! Geez...

And what's wrong with popular styles? There are many popular styles that look respectable.

Do you oppose women wearing make up, out of curiosity?

 

[HighwayMan]

still no PM.

I watch pro wrestling and read Lovecraft, if that's gonna help attract the ladies.

 

[Howard Cneal]

Also, it's easy to say that we should *only* look at the heart, but let's be real here - not naive. God designed beauty and does not expect man to make excuses for enjoying and appreciating what He has made. It's almost an insult to the Creator.

Moreover, how one dresses *IS* a matter of the heart - since as it is within, so it is without. How you dress and what you choose to wear *is* a reflection of your inner character, personality and how you see yourself. Yo can tell much about a person based off of what they wear and how they wear it. Any HR manager knows this much when they interview people (believe me, I know!) So we can try to take the "high (and mighty) road" and say that we should be beyond valuing what a person wears, but that's not how the real world works. Go in for a job interview wearing dirty, smelly, inappropriate clothing and see if you get the job. Even if your resume, references and qualifications are top-notch, I guarantee you will NOT get the job. These things DO matter, whether we like to admit it or not. Truth is still truth, whether we accept it or not.

Shallow is a term I (and I would hope most people) would use to convey no interest in the character and personality of someone. To even assume that is the case with me... that's... beyond words in how wrong it is.

 

[stan1472]

To the OP, thanks for this read. Even though I'm a guy, sure learned some lessons as well.

 

[Shadolus]

Hey sports junkie!! Long time no see. Very good post. Thanks for taking your time to share some insight. I hope youre doing well.

 

[FaithPrevails]

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