S
SportsJunkie25
Guest
Sorry men--This list is only for women. 
I got a random email this morning and this was in there; I figured I would share it. Trust me...it works. With that said, God is ultimately in charge of bringing people into our life, but if you are not aware of how you come across to people, these are good points.
1. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
First things first...you can't attract a man if he can't
find you, so you've got to pry yourself away from those
"Friends" reruns and get out into the world. I know that
it can be scary and sometimes it seems much easier to
stay in your protected little bubble, but the reward you
stand to gain is definitely worth taking the risk. So put
your shoes on and let's go!
2. STEP OUT IN STYLE.
If you really want to attract men, you might need to
step up your style a notch... and NOT for the reason you
may think. I recommend wearing a colorful and flattering
outfit not just because you'll turn heads (though you
WILL), but because of the way it will make YOU feel.
((Deleted story about example of running to the store in sweat pants, ponytail, etc....because you do not feel like getting dressed. As a result, you hope you don't run into anyone you're interested in. And, just our luck...we do! It never fails.))
When you look your best, it changes your whole
demeanor. You know the phrase "take PRIDE in your
appearance?" Well, when you're proud of how you look,
your posture will straighten up, you'll feel more
confident, you'll be much more likely to make eye contact,
smile, and possibly even strike up a conversation with
someone new. That energy (fueled by self-esteem) will be
incredibly ATTRACTIVE to others.
3. WALK THE WALK.
Have you ever seen the way New Yorkers walk? They stride
very quickly, head down, eyes on the ground (or anywhere
that will prevent them from making eye contact of any
kind), and plow through anyone and anything in their way
to get to their destination as quickly and directly as
possible.
Now I don't mean to pick on New Yorkers (I WAS one for
years!). In fact, there's a REASON why most Manhattanites
seem to walk the same way. With overwhelming crowds,
crime, people begging for money, and solicitors trying
to sell them something on every street corner, they
don't want to ATTRACT any attention.
However, if you're in a safe, well-lit area and are
familiar with your surroundings, I want to encourage you
to remember the words "Don't walk like a New Yorker."
Try walking this way instead: shoulders back, head up,
straight posture, moderate (not fast!) pace, arms
swinging slightly. You want your walk to say "I'm
confident" and "I'm open to possibilities."
If you're finding it difficult to cultivate a confident
walk, try this exercise. (It might sound a little goofy
but believe me, it works!):
Pick a song with an upbeat theme and a good, moderate
beat. This is going to be your theme song. (Can't think
of one? Here are 3 suggestions: "Put Your Records On" by
Corinne Bailey Rae, "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall, or
"The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani.) Load the song on
your iPod or pop the CD in your walkman and take it with
you for a "practice walk." Walk to the beat (this is
subtle- you're not DANCING, you're just getting a good
pace to your steps), breathe, enjoy the lyrics, think
positive thoughts, and smile. You'll be amazed at how
walking to your theme song will give you a boost.
Now the next time you're out and about, I want you to
remember how you felt with your theme song. Hear the
song in your head and walk as if it's playing. Pay
attention to how your face feels. Are you scowling
without even meaning to? If so, soften the muscles in
your face and allow your mouth to curl up ever so
slightly into an almost-smile. Widen your eyes just a
bit so that you appear awake, interested in your
surroundings, and excited about the world around you.
Now notice how people who pass you begin to take notice
of you. It's subtle, but I guarantee that those who
aren't completely lost in their own little worlds will
acknowledge you in some way. Men might even smile back
or say hello! (If this doesn't happen right away, don't
be discouraged. Just practice this confident walk
wherever you go from now on, and you will soon notice a
difference.)
4. BE A BILLBOARD FOR HAPPINESS.
When you're excited about life, it shows... AND it rubs
off on others. People gravitate toward happy people
because they want the contentment that they have. So wipe
that scowl off your face, curb the cynicism, and radiate
the most positive energy you can muster. (If you're
finding this difficult to do, start the day by making a
gratitude list of 5 things you're thankful for - it can
be your health, your charmingly crooked smile, or even
your dog's unconditional love. This will definitely
change your outlook.)
Men are much more likely to approach a woman who is
smiling, laughing, and happily engaged with her
surroundings (rather than the frowning, hunched over
lady muttering complaints under her breath... who'd want
to spend time with HER?). Like the "Got Milk?" ad
campaign, try being a walking billboard for "Got Joy?"
5. BE CONSCIOUS OF BODY LANGUAGE.
I read a surprising statistic the other day: only 7% of
communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal
body language). In other words, your actions (very literally) speak
louder than your words.
If a man spots you across the room but you have your
arms folded across your chest, that sends the
subconscious signal "Stay away. I'm closed off."
Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are
back, opening up your frame, it sends the message that
your heart is open to possibilities (even if he's not
consciously aware of it).
When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward
him conveys interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded
bar can work to your advantage! It gives you a legitimate
reason to lean in and speak in one another's ear, which
creates a connection).
If you're seated, crossing your legs and pointing them
toward him also sends the unspoken message that you're
interested. Very literally, it is the act of aligning
your body with his that signals, "we're in line with
one another."
6. GET HIS ATTENTION WITH A PROP.
When a man wants to meet you, he'll look for any reason
under the sun to strike up a conversation. By now, most
guys have gotten the memo that women hate cheesy pick up
lines ("Can I borrow your cell phone? My mom told me to
call her when Ofella in love..." BLECH!!!) and they're
left wondering how to break the ice.
Let's help them out!
Any kind of prop - your dog, a t-shirt with a funny
slogan on it, your tennis racket slung over your shoulder,
a sweatshirt with your alma mater's logo, a funky piece
of jewelry, a book with an intriguing title on the cover -
these are all things that a man might feel compelled to
make a comment on or approach you about.
Perfect example: My friend Amy has the most fabulous
pants. She calls them her "chicken wire pants." She
found them at a vintage store - they're bright orange
and they have the pattern of - you guessed it - chicken
wire stamped all over them. (Trust me, words don't do
them justice.) One day she was strolling down the street
(in New York City of all places!) when she heard a man's
voice say, "Excuse me..."
When she turned around, Amy was surprised to see a
handsome guy standing there. "I'm sorry to bother you but
I just HAD to tell you how great those pants are!!!"
Amy, of course, was flattered and they struck up a
conversation.
The hot guy asked for her number and took her out to
dinner! (She changed her pants for the occasion.)
Now, the chicken wire pants aren't for everyone (Amy is
a brave girl who can pull ANYTHING off with her spunky
attitude and radiant smile), but you get the picture. If
you can give a man just a little something more than
"Uh....hello" that he can grasp onto and make small talk
with, you've instantly become more approachable.
For another approach...
7. SPARK UP SPONTANEOUS CONVERSATION.
Sometimes, a man might be too shy, too preoccupied, or
too oblivious to his surroundings to initiate a
conversation with you. That doesn't mean that you have
to let the opportunity pass you by.
In my eBook, I stress the importance of letting the man make the first
move, but by that I mean asking for your number or
setting up a date.
Just saying a friendly "hello" to someone does NOT
constitute making the first move in my book (as long as
it's confident and without an air of desperate
expectation, that is!).
Let's go back to our Starbucks example at the beginning
of today's DISH... Hypothetically speaking, you were
standing in the pickup area when the barista called out
"MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE!"
Story: It's Monday morning. You're standing at Starbucks waiting for
your Mocha-Choca-Latte when you spot him out of the corner
of your eye...
...Your DREAM MAN.
He's wearing a suit (hot!)...he's got a New York Times tucked
under his arm (ooh! he's smart!)...and, oh wow - he just
ordered a Mocha-Choca-Latte (you already have something in
common!).
You casually whip out your copy of The Times and begin
reading the Arts section (maybe he'll notice and be
impressed) as he heads from the cashier line over to the
"Pick Up" area (hello?!?!) to wait for his drink.
"MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE for _____" the barista yells. As
you grab your coffee and high-tail it past your dream man
for the door, you're not sure what burns more...the scalding
hot beverage in your hand or the stinging regret of missed
opportunity.
"That's just my luck," you think. "Guys NEVER approach me."
Well guess what? YOUR LUCK IS ABOUT TO CHANGE!
No matter how many times you've played the starring role in
this sad scenario, you CAN go from UNAPPROACHABLE to
ATTRACTION MAGNET just by following my 10 simple tips.
There's a world of fabulous men out there to meet.. End story.
You knew that your dream man had also ordered a Mocha-Choca
Latte. This was the perfect opportunity to acknowledge
your shared love of the same beverage as a possible way
to break the ice and spark up a conversation.
What if, instead of dashing out the door, you grabbed
your drink, tipped it toward your dream man in as if you
were toasting "cheers!" and said a funny, innocuous
little thing like, "Breakfast of Champions!"
Maybe he would have simply smiled. But maybe - just maybe
- he would have said, "No kidding! I can't even function
until I've had two of those..." Bonding over your
caffeine habit might lead to introducing yourselves by
name, even exchanging business cards or making a date.
You never know...just by being the one to go out on a
limb and initiate conversation, you could be opening the
door to a special connection with a new man!
8. MAKE HIM FEEL IMPORTANT.
I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that men love to
feel important, useful, and that their opinion is
valuable. (Who doesn't, really?)
That's why one of the easiest ways to make yourself
approachable to a man is to ask for help.
9. A LITTLE FLATTERY WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.
One of the most basic needs we all have as human beings
is to be accepted. Which is why someone giving us a
little compliment ("Wow...that shirt really brings out
your eyes") can make our whole day.
Often, when men get up the courage to approach us,
they'll start out with small talk and wait for some kind
of signal that we're interested before they take the risk
to ask us out. A small, genuine, well-placed compliment
could be just the green light he's looking for.
If you're not sure what constitutes a flattering
compliment, consider what you would like to hear yourself.
(Hint: stay away from gushing about his car or his
impressive job... he may jump to the (wrong) conclusion
that you're only interested in him for his money.)
10. LOOSEN UP AND LAUGH.
Everyone is nervous and a little unsure of themselves
when they meet someone new. And when you're nervous,
you're probably not going to come off as completely
polished and pulled together as you'd like.
Guess what? This is a GOOD thing. (Just think of when
the shoe is on the other foot and a really slick guy is
hitting on you... you get the sense that he's used every
one of these lines before and you're NOT impressed! In
fact, you're a little icked-out.)
Believe it or not, one of the quickest ways to endear
yourself to the opposite sex is by letting him catch a
glimpse of your vulnerability or humanity. This lets him
know that it's ok to let his guard down a little bit.
Now I don't mean that you should burst into tears or
wear your heart on your sleeve... I just mean that if
you fumble your words a little or accidentally take a
sip from his drink instead of yours, go ahead and have
a laugh. He'll think it's totally cute, not clumsy.
Take a cue from one of the most endearing moments in
awards ceremony history: Jennifer Garner (an actress
who's known for her highly physical role in the now-
defunct hit show 'Alias') walked up to the podium to
present an Oscar, tripped on her gown, and fell on her
face. She jumped up, brushed herself off, and without
missing a beat said, "I do my own stunts." It was
adorable and it got a huge laugh.
So if you practice incorporating these tips into your life,
I guarantee that soon you'll be meeting more men than you
can count and getting asked out on many more dates!
____________________________________________________
A couple of years ago, I used to think stories and lists like these were l-a-m-e. But, recently, I've discovered that there is some truth in these stories so you can take it or leave it. I would advise my fellow single ladies to take it...despite what they believe. I've been doing the above for the past year or so (not based on a list I read...but via prayer and God leading me and showing me new things) and my dating life has drastically improved. Finally!
Anyway, it looks like God knows exactly what He's talking about. Go figure.
Enjoy!
I got a random email this morning and this was in there; I figured I would share it. Trust me...it works. With that said, God is ultimately in charge of bringing people into our life, but if you are not aware of how you come across to people, these are good points.
1. GET OUT OF THE HOUSE.
First things first...you can't attract a man if he can't
find you, so you've got to pry yourself away from those
"Friends" reruns and get out into the world. I know that
it can be scary and sometimes it seems much easier to
stay in your protected little bubble, but the reward you
stand to gain is definitely worth taking the risk. So put
your shoes on and let's go!
2. STEP OUT IN STYLE.
If you really want to attract men, you might need to
step up your style a notch... and NOT for the reason you
may think. I recommend wearing a colorful and flattering
outfit not just because you'll turn heads (though you
WILL), but because of the way it will make YOU feel.
((Deleted story about example of running to the store in sweat pants, ponytail, etc....because you do not feel like getting dressed. As a result, you hope you don't run into anyone you're interested in. And, just our luck...we do! It never fails.))
When you look your best, it changes your whole
demeanor. You know the phrase "take PRIDE in your
appearance?" Well, when you're proud of how you look,
your posture will straighten up, you'll feel more
confident, you'll be much more likely to make eye contact,
smile, and possibly even strike up a conversation with
someone new. That energy (fueled by self-esteem) will be
incredibly ATTRACTIVE to others.
3. WALK THE WALK.
Have you ever seen the way New Yorkers walk? They stride
very quickly, head down, eyes on the ground (or anywhere
that will prevent them from making eye contact of any
kind), and plow through anyone and anything in their way
to get to their destination as quickly and directly as
possible.
Now I don't mean to pick on New Yorkers (I WAS one for
years!). In fact, there's a REASON why most Manhattanites
seem to walk the same way. With overwhelming crowds,
crime, people begging for money, and solicitors trying
to sell them something on every street corner, they
don't want to ATTRACT any attention.
However, if you're in a safe, well-lit area and are
familiar with your surroundings, I want to encourage you
to remember the words "Don't walk like a New Yorker."
Try walking this way instead: shoulders back, head up,
straight posture, moderate (not fast!) pace, arms
swinging slightly. You want your walk to say "I'm
confident" and "I'm open to possibilities."
If you're finding it difficult to cultivate a confident
walk, try this exercise. (It might sound a little goofy
but believe me, it works!):
Pick a song with an upbeat theme and a good, moderate
beat. This is going to be your theme song. (Can't think
of one? Here are 3 suggestions: "Put Your Records On" by
Corinne Bailey Rae, "Suddenly I See" by KT Tunstall, or
"The Sweet Escape" by Gwen Stefani.) Load the song on
your iPod or pop the CD in your walkman and take it with
you for a "practice walk." Walk to the beat (this is
subtle- you're not DANCING, you're just getting a good
pace to your steps), breathe, enjoy the lyrics, think
positive thoughts, and smile. You'll be amazed at how
walking to your theme song will give you a boost.
Now the next time you're out and about, I want you to
remember how you felt with your theme song. Hear the
song in your head and walk as if it's playing. Pay
attention to how your face feels. Are you scowling
without even meaning to? If so, soften the muscles in
your face and allow your mouth to curl up ever so
slightly into an almost-smile. Widen your eyes just a
bit so that you appear awake, interested in your
surroundings, and excited about the world around you.
Now notice how people who pass you begin to take notice
of you. It's subtle, but I guarantee that those who
aren't completely lost in their own little worlds will
acknowledge you in some way. Men might even smile back
or say hello! (If this doesn't happen right away, don't
be discouraged. Just practice this confident walk
wherever you go from now on, and you will soon notice a
difference.)
4. BE A BILLBOARD FOR HAPPINESS.
When you're excited about life, it shows... AND it rubs
off on others. People gravitate toward happy people
because they want the contentment that they have. So wipe
that scowl off your face, curb the cynicism, and radiate
the most positive energy you can muster. (If you're
finding this difficult to do, start the day by making a
gratitude list of 5 things you're thankful for - it can
be your health, your charmingly crooked smile, or even
your dog's unconditional love. This will definitely
change your outlook.)
Men are much more likely to approach a woman who is
smiling, laughing, and happily engaged with her
surroundings (rather than the frowning, hunched over
lady muttering complaints under her breath... who'd want
to spend time with HER?). Like the "Got Milk?" ad
campaign, try being a walking billboard for "Got Joy?"
5. BE CONSCIOUS OF BODY LANGUAGE.
I read a surprising statistic the other day: only 7% of
communication is verbal (that means 93% is nonverbal
body language). In other words, your actions (very literally) speak
louder than your words.
If a man spots you across the room but you have your
arms folded across your chest, that sends the
subconscious signal "Stay away. I'm closed off."
Conversely, if your posture is good and your shoulders are
back, opening up your frame, it sends the message that
your heart is open to possibilities (even if he's not
consciously aware of it).
When you're engaged in conversation, leaning in toward
him conveys interest (that's when being in a loud, crowded
bar can work to your advantage! It gives you a legitimate
reason to lean in and speak in one another's ear, which
creates a connection).
If you're seated, crossing your legs and pointing them
toward him also sends the unspoken message that you're
interested. Very literally, it is the act of aligning
your body with his that signals, "we're in line with
one another."
6. GET HIS ATTENTION WITH A PROP.
When a man wants to meet you, he'll look for any reason
under the sun to strike up a conversation. By now, most
guys have gotten the memo that women hate cheesy pick up
lines ("Can I borrow your cell phone? My mom told me to
call her when Ofella in love..." BLECH!!!) and they're
left wondering how to break the ice.
Let's help them out!
Any kind of prop - your dog, a t-shirt with a funny
slogan on it, your tennis racket slung over your shoulder,
a sweatshirt with your alma mater's logo, a funky piece
of jewelry, a book with an intriguing title on the cover -
these are all things that a man might feel compelled to
make a comment on or approach you about.
Perfect example: My friend Amy has the most fabulous
pants. She calls them her "chicken wire pants." She
found them at a vintage store - they're bright orange
and they have the pattern of - you guessed it - chicken
wire stamped all over them. (Trust me, words don't do
them justice.) One day she was strolling down the street
(in New York City of all places!) when she heard a man's
voice say, "Excuse me..."
When she turned around, Amy was surprised to see a
handsome guy standing there. "I'm sorry to bother you but
I just HAD to tell you how great those pants are!!!"
Amy, of course, was flattered and they struck up a
conversation.
The hot guy asked for her number and took her out to
dinner! (She changed her pants for the occasion.)
Now, the chicken wire pants aren't for everyone (Amy is
a brave girl who can pull ANYTHING off with her spunky
attitude and radiant smile), but you get the picture. If
you can give a man just a little something more than
"Uh....hello" that he can grasp onto and make small talk
with, you've instantly become more approachable.
For another approach...
7. SPARK UP SPONTANEOUS CONVERSATION.
Sometimes, a man might be too shy, too preoccupied, or
too oblivious to his surroundings to initiate a
conversation with you. That doesn't mean that you have
to let the opportunity pass you by.
In my eBook, I stress the importance of letting the man make the first
move, but by that I mean asking for your number or
setting up a date.
Just saying a friendly "hello" to someone does NOT
constitute making the first move in my book (as long as
it's confident and without an air of desperate
expectation, that is!).
Let's go back to our Starbucks example at the beginning
of today's DISH... Hypothetically speaking, you were
standing in the pickup area when the barista called out
"MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE!"
Story: It's Monday morning. You're standing at Starbucks waiting for
your Mocha-Choca-Latte when you spot him out of the corner
of your eye...
...Your DREAM MAN.
He's wearing a suit (hot!)...he's got a New York Times tucked
under his arm (ooh! he's smart!)...and, oh wow - he just
ordered a Mocha-Choca-Latte (you already have something in
common!).
You casually whip out your copy of The Times and begin
reading the Arts section (maybe he'll notice and be
impressed) as he heads from the cashier line over to the
"Pick Up" area (hello?!?!) to wait for his drink.
"MOCHA-CHOCA-LATTE for _____" the barista yells. As
you grab your coffee and high-tail it past your dream man
for the door, you're not sure what burns more...the scalding
hot beverage in your hand or the stinging regret of missed
opportunity.
"That's just my luck," you think. "Guys NEVER approach me."
Well guess what? YOUR LUCK IS ABOUT TO CHANGE!
No matter how many times you've played the starring role in
this sad scenario, you CAN go from UNAPPROACHABLE to
ATTRACTION MAGNET just by following my 10 simple tips.
There's a world of fabulous men out there to meet.. End story.
You knew that your dream man had also ordered a Mocha-Choca
Latte. This was the perfect opportunity to acknowledge
your shared love of the same beverage as a possible way
to break the ice and spark up a conversation.
What if, instead of dashing out the door, you grabbed
your drink, tipped it toward your dream man in as if you
were toasting "cheers!" and said a funny, innocuous
little thing like, "Breakfast of Champions!"
Maybe he would have simply smiled. But maybe - just maybe
- he would have said, "No kidding! I can't even function
until I've had two of those..." Bonding over your
caffeine habit might lead to introducing yourselves by
name, even exchanging business cards or making a date.
You never know...just by being the one to go out on a
limb and initiate conversation, you could be opening the
door to a special connection with a new man!
8. MAKE HIM FEEL IMPORTANT.
I'm sure it comes as no surprise to you that men love to
feel important, useful, and that their opinion is
valuable. (Who doesn't, really?)
That's why one of the easiest ways to make yourself
approachable to a man is to ask for help.
9. A LITTLE FLATTERY WILL GET YOU EVERYWHERE.
One of the most basic needs we all have as human beings
is to be accepted. Which is why someone giving us a
little compliment ("Wow...that shirt really brings out
your eyes") can make our whole day.
Often, when men get up the courage to approach us,
they'll start out with small talk and wait for some kind
of signal that we're interested before they take the risk
to ask us out. A small, genuine, well-placed compliment
could be just the green light he's looking for.
If you're not sure what constitutes a flattering
compliment, consider what you would like to hear yourself.
(Hint: stay away from gushing about his car or his
impressive job... he may jump to the (wrong) conclusion
that you're only interested in him for his money.)
10. LOOSEN UP AND LAUGH.
Everyone is nervous and a little unsure of themselves
when they meet someone new. And when you're nervous,
you're probably not going to come off as completely
polished and pulled together as you'd like.
Guess what? This is a GOOD thing. (Just think of when
the shoe is on the other foot and a really slick guy is
hitting on you... you get the sense that he's used every
one of these lines before and you're NOT impressed! In
fact, you're a little icked-out.)
Believe it or not, one of the quickest ways to endear
yourself to the opposite sex is by letting him catch a
glimpse of your vulnerability or humanity. This lets him
know that it's ok to let his guard down a little bit.
Now I don't mean that you should burst into tears or
wear your heart on your sleeve... I just mean that if
you fumble your words a little or accidentally take a
sip from his drink instead of yours, go ahead and have
a laugh. He'll think it's totally cute, not clumsy.
Take a cue from one of the most endearing moments in
awards ceremony history: Jennifer Garner (an actress
who's known for her highly physical role in the now-
defunct hit show 'Alias') walked up to the podium to
present an Oscar, tripped on her gown, and fell on her
face. She jumped up, brushed herself off, and without
missing a beat said, "I do my own stunts." It was
adorable and it got a huge laugh.
So if you practice incorporating these tips into your life,
I guarantee that soon you'll be meeting more men than you
can count and getting asked out on many more dates!
____________________________________________________
A couple of years ago, I used to think stories and lists like these were l-a-m-e. But, recently, I've discovered that there is some truth in these stories so you can take it or leave it. I would advise my fellow single ladies to take it...despite what they believe. I've been doing the above for the past year or so (not based on a list I read...but via prayer and God leading me and showing me new things) and my dating life has drastically improved. Finally!
Anyway, it looks like God knows exactly what He's talking about. Go figure.
Enjoy!
