2011 = New Yr & New Things: 10 Tips to Make Him Approach You

[SportsJunkie25]

I would highly endorse item #1 and #10 but more for the fact that when you are doing those things, all of a sudden, finding a guy is not life's most important mission.
Not that this list is saying that but it feels like if I took this list seriously that would be my mindset.

But now I am thinking of props to drag along with me... I could walk around in a Daria t-shirt and if a guy approached me on that- I would marry him on the spot

Lol! I remember Daria!

And, I do not think this list is talking about dragging random props around with you for the specific purpose of meeting people. For example, I do not play tennis...I am not going to put on a tennis outfit and pretend I just finished playing/practicing tennis. But, I'm a fan of the SD Chargers so, if I were to wear a SD Chargers shirt --the girly ones -- and go somewhere after a Chargers game, most likely, fellow Charger lovers will say something about my shirt. Prop? Not really. I like to call them "conversation pieces".

 

[benf]

But now I am thinking of props to drag along with me... I could walk around in a Daria t-shirt and if a guy approached me on that- I would marry him on the spot

I suggest making a better plan; a guy with taste that poor in television couldn't have the taste to ask you in the first place

 

[MacFall]

The advice concentrates on appearance, encourages women to contrive attitudes and situations that are not natural, and endorses flattery - which is insincere BY DEFINITION. Look it up in the dictionary if you don't believe me. Or here, I'll do it for you:

flat·ter·y

/ˈflæt

ə

ri/ Spelled[flat-uh-ree]
–noun, plural -ter·ies. 1. the act of flattering.
2. a flattering compliment or speech; excessive, insincere praise.

Origin:
1275&#8211;1325; Middle English flaterie < Middle French, equivalent to flat ( er ) to flatter + -erie -ery. Compare flatter1

&#8212;Synonyms

2. sycophancy, toadying, fawning, pandering.

 

[Nom De Guerre]

The advice concentrates on appearance, encourages women to contrive attitudes and situations that are not natural, and endorses flattery - which is insincere BY DEFINITION. Look it up in the dictionary if you don't believe me. Or here, I'll do it for you:

flat·ter·y

/&#712;flæt

&#601;

ri/ Spelled[flat-uh-ree]
&#8211;noun, plural -ter·ies. 1. the act of flattering.
2. a flattering compliment or speech; excessive, insincere praise.

Origin:
1275&#8211;1325; Middle English flaterie < Middle French, equivalent to flat ( er ) to flatter + -erie -ery. Compare flatter1

&#8212;Synonyms

2. sycophancy, toadying, fawning, pandering.

I lol'd I agree, I don't take to false praise and compliments that are unnecessary; if you can lie to me then, how many more lies do you hide??

 

[SportsJunkie25]

Pretty good actually. The list seems pretty funny to me, I always find it funny when girls are like this; but, whatever works I suppose... it's like you're trapping me into something I don't want to be doing.

The "dating" question wasn't aimed at you. I was talking to Mac because he's anti this list...borderline angry/annoyed by it.

But, you find it funny when girls are like what? Approachable? Lol. Uh...

Fyi: Most women do specific things to get the attn of a man she is interested in...whether you realize it or not. We're too smooth for you to realize what we are doing. Lol.

Well, as much as I hate answering questions with questions, what's here for someone whose dream man doesn't wear suits, read the New Yorker, or order metrosexual coffee's? Oh, and make sure you don't compliment him too much on his impressive job and brand new BMW. Because obviously the dream man has those things, and you can't give too many hints what things are really about. So yes, it's obviously written from a fairly shallow point of view.

You guys are focusing too much on the NY suit guy. Honestly, when I read this, I thought, "Ew...who wants a suit-wearing New Yorker. That is not my type!" But, this is just an example. Maybe the lady who wrote this is from NY and loves a man in a suit; who knows. Would you guys have felt better if they said, "A man in a uniform"? "A construction worker"? Etc. I just assumed people would substitute "NY man in a suit" w/ whatever they consider appealing. Too each their own.

 

[Amber.ly]

I suggest making a better plan; a guy with taste that poor in television couldn't have the taste to ask you in the first place

Wow, that was very smooth. You insulted one of my favorite shows while at the same time complimenting me.

Nice

<staff edit>

 

[Nom De Guerre]

But, you find it funny when girls are like what? Approachable? Lol. Uh...

Fyi: Most women do specific things to get the attn of a man she is interested in...whether you realize it or not. We're too smooth for you to realize what we are doing. Lol.

Believe me, you're not that smooth; I get approached for dates, and I enjoy a bubbly person as much as the next guy. I usually like to hear what they've got to actually offer after I 'fall' for their suave, accidental, approaches though; like I mentioned, if you're willing to lie your way into a relationship then more than likely you're going to be pretty annoying with your manipulations to get whatever else you want.

So no, I don't find it funny when girls are approachable; I find it humorous that you think I'm actually that unintelligent.

 

[broken_one]

Although I will add that you can't "make" a man approach you. All you can do is be the best "YOU" you know how to be and let him come to you. If he doesn't, then perhaps *he* is the one with the problem (i.e. social anxiety, etc.) In that case, it's his loss, not yours.

Whoa whoa whoa whoa...there is a difference between not having a backbone and having the backbone being forcibly ripped out from your body, and that is called social anxiety. If anything, I'd hope women give guys who have that the benefit of the doubt than anything. It's the real deal.

 

[Tink]

Whoa whoa whoa whoa...there is a difference between not having a backbone and having the backbone being forcibly ripped out from your body, and that is called social anxiety. If anything, I'd hope women give guys who have that the benefit of the doubt than anything. It's the real deal.

Also, QFT.

And I think a real woman would do so, Sean.

 

[Inkachu]

Avoid "how to get a guy/girl" advice. Best advice of all

 

[Tink]

Avoid "how to get a guy/girl" advice. Best advice of all

AMEN!

 

[SportsJunkie25]

The advice concentrates on appearance, encourages women to contrive attitudes and situations that are not natural, and endorses flattery - which is insincere BY DEFINITION. Look it up in the dictionary if you don't believe me. Or here, I'll do it for you:

Lol. Oh, shame on a woman for complimenting a man. Wow. Some of you guys are TOO much on CF. Too much!

Perhaps whoever made this list should have said "compliment", in that specific title, instead of "flattery". I agree--flattery is insincere but there is nothing wrong with complimenting a man if you mean it. (<--Which is what her description stated...after she labeled it "flattery".)

 

[Tink]

Also, if your list is for women only, maybe you could post it in the women's forum.

 

[penNpaper]

Also, if your list is for women only, maybe you could post it in the women's forum.

Agreed.

God Bless,
Drew

 

[Keri]

com·pli·ment
Noun: A polite expression of praise or admiration.
Verb: Politely congratulate or praise (someone) for something.

vs.

flat·ter·y
Noun: a flattering compliment or speech; excessive, insincere praise.


Huge difference.

 

[MacFall]

I have no problems with sincere compliments. My problem, as I clearly stated, is with insincerity - which this advice column encourages.

The list was for women who, presumably, want to attract a man. So it would seem that the opinions of men would be relevant. Clearly, not every man even in this forum, much less in the world at large, appreciates it when women act in an insincere manner in order to attract them.

If you want to attract a genuine man, don't act in a way that isn't genuinely who you are. Meaning:

If you are comfortable dressing in a way that isn't "stylish" don't change who you are to suit other people.
If you don't naturally exude confidence, then fine! Don't try, because it won't look right. Being relaxed and demure is okay.
If you like folding your arms, fold them. A guy who assumes that you're an ice-queen because you're comfortable with your arms in a certain position is a jerk.
If you don't normally carry a book or a tennis racket or wear a noticeable t-shirt, don't do it just to catch a man's eye.
If you aren't naturally enthusiastic and bubbly, don't act like you are.
If you don't need help, don't ask for it just to make a guy feel macho.

All of those things are advised against by the column you posted. The author is encouraging women to be and do things that they aren't. That is not healthy for the women, and it isn't fair to the men they are trying to attract.

 

[Blackguard_]

If you don't need help, don't ask for it just to make a guy feel macho.

Oooh, I hate it when girls play helpless. It makes them seem manipulative and me like their butler, not like a gentlemen helping a lady.

 

[SportsJunkie25]

com·pli·ment
Noun: A polite expression of praise or admiration.
Verb: Politely congratulate or praise (someone) for something.

vs.

flat·ter·y
Noun: a flattering compliment or speech; excessive, insincere praise.


Huge difference.

Why thank you, Webster! Lol. Jk. But in all seriousness, I did not say there wasn't a difference between a compliment and flattery sooo... ??

I have no problems with sincere compliments. My problem, as I clearly stated, is with insincerity - which this advice column encourages.

The list was for women who, presumably, want to attract a man. So it would seem that the opinions of men would be relevant. Clearly, not every man even in this forum, much less in the world at large, appreciates it when women act in an insincere manner in order to attract them.

If you want to attract a genuine man, don't act in a way that isn't genuinely who you are. Meaning:

If you are comfortable dressing in a way that isn't "stylish" don't change who you are to suit other people.
If you don't naturally exude confidence, then fine! Don't try, because it won't look right. Being relaxed and demure is okay.
If you like folding your arms, fold them. A guy who assumes that you're an ice-queen because you're comfortable with your arms in a certain position is a jerk.
If you don't normally carry a book or a tennis racket or wear a noticeable t-shirt, don't do it just to catch a man's eye.
If you aren't naturally enthusiastic and bubbly, don't act like you are.
If you don't need help, don't ask for it just to make a guy feel macho.

All of those things are advised against by the column you posted. The author is encouraging women to be and do things that they aren't. That is not healthy for the women, and it isn't fair to the men they are trying to attract.

I do not think this list encourages being insincere. It's a proven fact that the way you present yourself to people means you will be perceived in a certain way. I do not think there is anything wrong w/ someone saying, "You frown and look mean; you should smile so you seem more approachable." Yes, you may not be a smiley person but if you want someone to approach you, you have to play by the rules. It's just the way of life. If you do not want to play by the rules (and you think smiling, instead of frowning...b/c you like frowning and frowning, is being true to yourself) then no one will approach you. Well, I shouldn't say no one--Perhaps there will be a guy who doesn't mind approaching people w/ a frown. But, most friendly people are not going to approach someone who seems unapproachable. Call is what you want to call it but tis is the way of life.

Example: Folding your arms--If you want someone to approach you, you shouldn't stand there with your arms folded. Humans pay attn to non-verbal ques whether you want to admit it or not.

Conclusion: Humans respond to certain actions and mannerisms. If you do not want to do what on the list, ok...do not do it. But, if you do not want to do it, do not be shocked when people do not approach you. With that said, I'm not saying men will not like women who aren't outgoing, fold their arms, etc. This list isn't about ATTRACTING men...it's about getting men to APPROACH you. If you do not care about people approaching you, you can dismiss this list. Some people like to be approached...some people do not. To each their own.

Fyi: I agree that one should not carry around a tennis racket if they do not like tennis. I stated that in one of my previous posts.

 

[SportsJunkie25]

Oooh, I hate it when girls play helpless. It makes them seem manipulative and me like their butler, not like a gentlemen helping a lady.

In ref to Mac saying, "If you do not need help, do not ask."

So, are you guys saying that you've never seen a woman you wanted to talk to, and thought to yourself, "Hhhmm...how can I get her attn or how can I talk to her?" If you haven't, I find that interesting. Most men will find a way to talk to a woman they're interested in. It's human nature.

Anyway, the above is just a form of making conversation. For example, men may come up to me and ask me what time it is. Um...ok. Clearly, they know what time it is...they're just trying to strike up a conversation. No one is manipulating anyone; you guys are taking this waaayyy too far.

 

[Inkachu]

I have no problems with sincere compliments. My problem, as I clearly stated, is with insincerity - which this advice column encourages.

The list was for women who, presumably, want to attract a man. So it would seem that the opinions of men would be relevant. Clearly, not every man even in this forum, much less in the world at large, appreciates it when women act in an insincere manner in order to attract them.

If you want to attract a genuine man, don't act in a way that isn't genuinely who you are. Meaning:

If you are comfortable dressing in a way that isn't "stylish" don't change who you are to suit other people.
If you don't naturally exude confidence, then fine! Don't try, because it won't look right. Being relaxed and demure is okay.
If you like folding your arms, fold them. A guy who assumes that you're an ice-queen because you're comfortable with your arms in a certain position is a jerk.
If you don't normally carry a book or a tennis racket or wear a noticeable t-shirt, don't do it just to catch a man's eye.
If you aren't naturally enthusiastic and bubbly, don't act like you are.
If you don't need help, don't ask for it just to make a guy feel macho.

All of those things are advised against by the column you posted. The author is encouraging women to be and do things that they aren't. That is not healthy for the women, and it isn't fair to the men they are trying to attract.

Exactly how I feel, Mac. Thanks for posting this! Agree with you 1,000%. And it goes for guys, too. Don't FAKE anything just to attract a girl! That's one reason I get so irked by all the "how do I get a girl" threads that some guys post. Stop it! Just be you! If you don't like yourself, change! Don't do it JUST to get a girl to pay attention to you, because then it's not sincere and most likely, temporary. And she'll see the 'real' you sooner or later anyway, so may as well present the real you up front

/soapbox