- Mar 25, 2005
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Without the meds i hear voices screaming at me 24/7 making any thinking absolutely impossible.
Yes i relate to that reality a lot, its often been like that in my life, coupled with extreme high moods or extreme low moods and so much confusion and anxiety, terror really. So glad to hear those voices have been quelled in your life now and you can even finish your studies and get yourself a job. That is greatest ever!
In my life doctors tried for years to quell those voices, but with very limited success. And because i experienced these voices as those of demons attacking me, i was utterly confused as to why Jesus didn't come to my aid when i called out after Him in my distress. Not realising that i was looking the wrong way to be able to see Jesus. For i was looking in the direction those voices were coming from. Believing their lies literally scared hell out of me. i did not realise that the more i studied/observed my evil voices the more i was compelled by them.
The main Victory in my life was i finally realised that Jesus lived in my heart and i could determine what He was saying to me through the love for the truth of God dwelling in me and through the indwelling love for my neighbour and Creation as well.
His Voice - The Voice of The Living Word didn't come out of my confused and often wildly racing mind, but out of the love dwelling in my heart for God and His created good life.
So i put all my hope in God's truth living within me. For only He spoke always true, and only He brought me God's graceful love truthfully. It was Jesus' Spirit who taught me to ignore my evil voices and look for my salvation in God's Word. And so through the truth of His word and the love of His spirit within me, He took me to the wicked's origin. Destroying those wicked ones sucking my good life out of me with their loveless lies through the trauma and sinful wrongs that had befallen me throughout my deeply troubled past.
i don't know when your voices kicked in but with me it was after a very traumatic event in my life. In this event much evil wrong was committed against me. i almost lost my life in the process. This event kick started evil voices in a big way and had me blindly follow them on their road way to destruction for they spoke to me all the time and when i didn't do their bidding then they screamed at me. And to my utter confusion praying to Jesus didn't seem to help at all.
It has truly amazed me to see how many lies i had internalised about God, myself, the other and Creation in my paranoid Schizophrenic mind. Lies which truly have an unholy energy that sparked trouble in my heart and mind all the time. Yet when the living word began to replace those lies with His loving truth then the scenario became completely different and the voices began to die out of me and my mind slowed down a lot.
Not that Jesus healed me a mentally ill person. For i still become psychotic at times, and if i don't carefully medicate myself, all the time. i hope for healing of course, but know that physical illness can be for life and that His loving truth helps us through it, but often doesn't deliver us until we go to Heaven.
Yet it has been amazing to have won the victory when it comes to my evil voices. They tortured me for many years and almost got me to do their wicked bidding in my by psychosis crazed mind.
Thanking Jesus humbly He cleaned up those pesky voices out of my (and also your) reality.
Peace.
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