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what are you feeling right now? (24)

Kristen.NewCreation

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We are rolling over this thread.

This thread is for sharing how you are feeling currently. Posts in response may be for encouragement, support and prayer for each other.

This is a no-debate forum, and that applies to this thread as well.

Enjoy your new thread.
 

Jeshu

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Awake again, got almost 6 hours and its only 9.50 am so that is really good as far as I'm concerned. Not feeling as down as yesterday though still dull and flattish compared to how life has been lately.

I've haven't noticed any hallucinations apart of a child crying through the night who wasn't there, though I could have sworn one of ours was little again that is how clear the crying was. My mind is calming down a lot I'm so happy to see that progressing each day a little more.

The feeling that I'm laying on the clouds of Heaven does still come around shortly after I take niacin, but is not as profound anymore than before, I must be getting used to it.

Other wise ready to take on a new day.

blessings to all.
 
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Jeshu

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Feeling so unbelievably blessed right now, seven of our nine grand kids are sleeping over and we have been having a ball.

dinner2.jpg
dinner.jpg
dancing2.jpg
dancing.jpg
 
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Jeshu

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I've missed our brother Joseph from China, he hasn't been able to get through the wall for ages. I hope he can manage to come and say hallo soon. It must be so hard to be cut off from fellowship like that. I love this man, we've been good friends for years. He used to come all the time before that accursed wall came up in the bi-polar forum. I hope he is okay.
 
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Jeshu

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I'm feeling a little better than yesterday at this time. Still chronically short of sleep I've had about 4 hours over three sleeps in the last 24 hours so that is poor indeed. The sleep was poor quality as well so from that perspective even 4 hours is not a good reflection of the total rest my mind got.

That is the problem all the time, I get these stressful, alert, or anxious states, and simply can't sleep no matter how long I try. Sometimes I don't even know why I feel stress or anxiety it simply is and wont allow me to sleep, even if my inner mood is peaceful and calm as such.

Also often it seems that satan wont allow me to sleep by coming around plaguing me through my over active mind.

Like last night. The kids were sleeping in the living room and the real little ones are much more comfortable with Yvonne than me at night if they wake up. Also Shadow our dog had hurt herself yesterday and was in quiet a bit of pain at times, so I retired with her to the junk room and yucked a mattress on the ground and slept together there with her as not to wake the kids up when she winched when she was hurting. (she was very noisy at times because she hurt so bad when she moved a certain way.)

However as I was getting the mattress ready a huge black red black spider walked across my pillow. It was awesome! Anyway I carefully carried it outside. Their bites are very painful and can be deadly, especially if bitten a second time. However when I tried to get to sleep satan kept bringing red back spiders around, crawling all over me, and scorpions and centipedes and things like that. I did ask Jesus if there were any more around and He assured me all was safe, so I wasn't going to believe those lies in my head, but creepy satan kept on going for ages anyway, keeping me awake for at least an hour like that, even while I was totally exhausted, not scared whatsoever, or even for one moment believed what the devil was telling (and showing,) me. Such a pain when that happens. Being safely in His truth even though the lies press from all around, I call that, but it did rob me of an extra hour of my already little sleep.

We did have an awesome time with the kids so that was very nice and Shadow is almost okay again, only when she forgets and moves to fast does she winch a little at times. My wife didn't end up getting much sleep either as one of the small ones became a little unwell and kept waking her up throughout the night.

How is everyone?
 
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Jeshu

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I got more than 5 1/2 hours sleep last night so that was good, however I've been nauseated and very sweaty. I'm walking around in my singlet sweating even though it was only 12 Celsius in the house last night, which usually means need a thick jumper and the heater on. Strange how unwell I can get.

I'm basically out of calming meds, and have been rather high and excitable because of that the last week or so, however usually such moods come in short bursts of overwhelming kind of stuff and then drained and tired in between without able to get down before the next mood sets in.

Luckily my mind has calmed down considerably with the niacin I take 1.5 grams of the stuff a day, which is why I think I get nauseated again because my liver can't seem to digest the stuff properly, I get that with psych meds so bad too. However niacin works heraps better than psych meds ever did. My mind is completely steady and not jumping all over the place. Like a steady stream instead of constant bursts from countless different angles and perspectives all at the same time, all over the place, like my mind used to be before I started this stuff. It is absolutely awesome to have a steady mind I never knew what it was like to have that, to think or reason is so incredible much easer when my mind is like this, sharp and clear and instant. I'm very happy about that.

I wish I could take more niacin so I can sleep a bit better for it does really help with that. The first few day when I didn't know yet you could OD on the stuff I took 8 gram in one day and slept 10 hours plus, and halted my hallucinating mind in less than 2 days, that's amazing really for up to now we only have had anti-psychotics to help me do that. The problem with those pills is that they lay my mind lame more than repair my mind. When I take anti-psychotics the majority of myself isn't present anymore after a little while, as if it kills me in my good life and leaves me behind in my unable to do or feel like doing anything life, that is how life is on anti-psychotics. Good to halt an bad psychotic episode but not good long term, niacin is an awesome replacement that is for sure.

Otherwise I've been fine. There are lots of things happening but that is about things I can't really discuss, to complex and to dangerous to be misunderstood, but none the less very very revealing and interesting. It amazes me more every day how much God's Word reveals to me every day again, the world couldn't contain the volumes if I should write it all down that is for sure. sometimes our Father tells shows me something things that took 100 of million of light years to take shape in the physical reality and was destroyed in just one moment when everything blew to bits as our first parents began eating that forbidden fruit all these years ago and we are still at it today.

One thing stands out though and that is that all the horrible evil that has befallen God and Creation because His offspring were beguiled and led astray by satan, has provided our Creator Father with the ability to bring out goodness that has been unable to exist ever before sin entered into the equation.

So in the end things will be like they have never been able to be - will creepy satan and his henchmen gnash their teeth when they see how their evil untrue selves will propel us - who they hated so much - into eternal bliss in a Way that is far above comprehension and unspeakably good in its contents?

Especially because the wicked, though they should have never existed, now do really exist forever - and their punishment is completely just and righteous like our Heavenly Father always is - so will we rejoice when we see the smoke of the wicked rise let me assure you brothers and sisters. Their hell is the very best thing after Christ's revelation that is for sizzles no justice is so sweet as to see them burn their wicked deeds it will elevate us all into highest bliss forever and ever. Hallelujah!

Can't wait till Jesus comes!
 
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W2L

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I got more than 5 1/2 hours sleep last night so that was good, however I've been nauseated and very sweaty. I'm walking around in my singlet sweating even though it was only 12 Celsius in the house last night, which usually means need a thick jumper and the heater on. Strange how unwell I can get.

I'm basically out of calming meds, just a little leaf, and have been rather high and excitable because of that the last week or so, however usually such moods come in short bursts of overwhelming kind of stuff and then drained and tired in between without able to get down before the next mood sets in.


Luckily my mind has calmed down considerably with the niacin I take 1.5 grams of the stuff a day, which is why I think I get nauseated again because my liver can't seem to digest the stuff properly, I get that with psych meds so bad too. However niacin works heraps better than psych meds ever did. My mind is completely steady and not jumping all over the place. Like a steady stream instead of constant bursts from countless different angles and perspectives all at the same time, all over the place, like my mind used to be before I started this stuff. It is absolutely awesome to have a steady mind I never knew what it was like to have that, to think or reason is so incredible much easer when my mind is like this, sharp and clear and instant. I'm very happy about that.

I wish I could take more niacin so I can sleep a bit better for it does really help with that. The first few day when I didn't know yet you could OD on the stuff I took 8 gram in one day and slept 10 hours plus, and halted my hallucinating mind in less than 2 days, that's amazing really for up to now we only have had anti-psychotics to help me do that. The problem with those pills is that they lay my mind lame more than repair my mind. When I take anti-psychotics the majority of myself isn't present anymore after a little while, as if it kills me in my good life and leaves me behind in my unable to do or feel like doing anything life, that is how life is on anti-psychotics. Good to halt an bad psychotic episode but not good long term, niacin is an awesome replacement that is for sure.

Otherwise I've been fine. There are lots of things happening but that is about things I can't really discuss, to complex and to dangerous to be misunderstood, but none the less very very revealing and interesting. It amazes me more every day how much God's Word reveals to me every day again, the world couldn't contain the volumes if I should write it all down that is for sure. sometimes our Father tells shows me something things that took 100 of million of light years to take shape in the physical reality and was destroyed in just one moment when everything blew to bits as our first parents began eating that forbidden fruit all these years ago and we are still at it today.

One thing stands out though and that is that all the horrible evil that has befallen God and Creation because His offspring were beguiled and led astray by satan, has provided our Creator Father with the ability to bring out goodness that has been unable to exist ever before sin entered into the equation.

So in the end things will be like they have never been able to be - will creepy satan and his henchmen gnash their teeth when they see how their evil untrue selves will propel us - who they hated so much - into eternal bliss in a Way that is far above comprehension and unspeakably good in its contents?

Especially because the wicked, though they should have never existed, now do really exist forever - and their punishment is completely just and righteous like our Heavenly Father always is - so will we rejoice when we see the smoke of the wicked rise let me assure you brothers and sisters. Their hell is the very best thing after Christ's revelation that is for sizzles no justice is so sweet as to see them burn their wicked deeds it will elevate us all into highest bliss forever and ever. Hallelujah!

Can't wait till Jesus comes!
Im ok, thanks for asking. Im going through a rough phase right now though. It comes and goes. It lasts for a month or so but then passes. It comes in the mornings after i wake. Its very difficult but diminishes after a im fully awake. It happens everyday and can last for weeks. Im unsure what it is exactly. Perhaps PTSD.
 
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Jeshu

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Im ok, thanks for asking. Im going through a rough phase right now though. It comes and goes. It lasts for a month or so but then passes. It comes in the mornings after i wake. Its very difficult but diminishes after a im fully awake. It happens everyday and can last for weeks. Im unsure what it is exactly. Perhaps PTSD.

Oh that is horrible. PTSD you reckon? You suffered severe trauma as well? Isn't it horrible to be plagued by the past without the power to stop it? What are some of your main symptoms? How long does it take before you are fully awake and the tensions subside? Does it ever turn you into a raging lunatic like I go? do you suffer from psychoses?

Does coffee help speed the process waking up? It always helps me, I be lost without my coffee, especially in the morning. Many people have claimed that is why I can't sleep, especially doctors. However I tried once for a whole year to do on just one cup a day, it was a terrible time, and I still couldn't sleep, nor did it help my P.T.S.D attacks any, and went psychotic after 14 months not able to sleep, like now really, but I was a lot weaker then and didn't have as much mental support then as I have now.

If your disturbance is in your mind, like racing, shifting, jumping, contracting or expanding, melting, foggy, smashing, crushing, stabbing, crazy, dark, disturbing or fearful thoughts or ideas - then Niacin might help you, for it sure did calm my mind when it comes to such kind of troubles.

If it are mainly your feelings/emotions the main herb, you know I use, might help you as wel,l and/or Staphygeria or Aurum might help. Especially the first herb mentioned is great for that and for having loving/caring/focused emotions, I miss it heaps at the moment keeping calm and focused.

If it is spiritually I know for sure you can get help, but I think you already know how to go about receive help there. I don't might praying for you every morning brother. If you give me the times you struggle then I check what time that is with us (do pass me your time zone though,) and ask Jesus to help me pray for you during such times, I'm sure that will help you, for spiritually we are O(o)ne in Christ no matter the distance.

We have a special prayer thread stickied on top here at CF where we can request prayer as well. I found that the more people pray with understanding and concerned hearts, the more help I receive when I struggle during hard times. Prayer is great.

Let me know what you struggle with brother and I will call on the Lord on your behalf for as long as it takes to overcome that part of your life.

Peace.
 
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My life has been traumatic. Its not something i talk about, but its been hard. It has made life difficult, and it has hurt my mental health a lot. I use to have nightmares and flashbacks, and still have flashbacks often. My mind is a battlefield and i die daily. I cling to hope in the Lord because he's the only hope i see.
 
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