what are you feeling right now? (24)

[Tempura]

Feeling thankful I'm married to another crazy person.

Often the best one are a bit crazy!

 

[Yusuphhai]

i've been thinking a lot about writing a book. A dual story interwoven but in complete different worlds and times. Where a believing person struggles with mental illness in our modern world which runs in parallel with the story of a world in its last days - reflecting all that dwells in the inner world of the main person. A bit how Jesus made me understand Scripture from a personal perspective.

i have wanted to write a book for a long time and even wrote the first chapter already many years ago. However my illness has stopped me from working on it or even thinking about it.

Dear brother,

Passing through different time and places all over the world is a good material of fiction, like the <<Time Machine>> of Herbert George Wells. But I worry about the safety of the journey. In 2017 When my mania was serious, I tried to play a lot of “Passing through” games, I thought I could go anywhere and anytime through the time and space. Later I found it was dangerous, mostly maybe it was a just a wrong feeling, I could not pass through time and space at all. An American film <<The Wife of a traveler of time>> described the traveler was shot in a strange place and died.

Just my experience. Maybe a fiction about “Passing Through” is a good idea. Your literature level is worth honoring. Take care.

 

[Jeshu]

Passing through different time and places all over the world is a good material of fiction, like the <<Time Machine>> of Herbert George Wells. But I worry about the safety of the journey.

No i didn't have a time machine in mind. More a description of the inner workings of the heart from an inner world/Creation perspective. Like the main character has a fall in faith and sins, yet what happens in the spiritual world within his heart and mind is the other side of the story.

Where i want to use The Word working in this inner world towards Jesus coming as King and ruler and who and in what way we rule with Christ in His kingdom over our life and beyond, but where i also want to look at sin working in the human heart and what forces of destruction it brings about. So in my story all the good as well as all of the bad we find in the human heart i want to give vision and shape to using God's word.

i most likely use the book of Revelation to guide the story line. (still tossing up if i should use parts of Ezekiel as well.) Where i want to start with a Jesus revelation and from there on follow faith conquering and The Word materialising, as well as sin working in opposition to that within the human heart, all the way to chapter 20 and beyond.

i choose a mental ill main character to bring out the hardships mentally ill people face, as well giving myself some more liberty bringing bad life into being, and how God's loving truth can save us in our fallen and often broken lives and bring us His good life instead.


Any way how have you been feeling lately brother? Have the deepest valley past or do you still often languish rock bottom? Hoping your medicines are helping you feel better.

God bless you with peace.

 

[LoyalToGod]

I'm thinking of ending my life... BYE FOREVER... Besides, even god stopped caring about me... This is too much...

 

[Jeshu]

I'm thinking of ending my life... BYE FOREVER... Besides, even god stopped caring about me... This is too much...

Oh please loyal God does love you and He loves you to find Him and let His loving truth help you away from your bad life. Jesus is stronger than mental agony i know it be true. Do put your faith in His love and see for yourself that new hope will grow in your heart after you do that. Hope for a better life with and in Him.

Praying you will find safety

Psalms 56:8-13
Record my misery;
list my tears on your scroll—

Record my misery;
list my tears on your scroll—
are they not in your record?
Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.


In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can man do to me?

I am under vows to you, my God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

are they not in your record?
Then my enemies will turn back
when I call for help.
By this I will know that God is for me.


In God, whose word I praise,
in the Lord, whose word I praise—
in God I trust and am not afraid.
What can man do to me?


I am under vows to you, my God;
I will present my thank offerings to you.
For you have delivered me from death
and my feet from stumbling,
that I may walk before God
in the light of life.

 

[Tempura]

I'm thinking of ending my life... BYE FOREVER... Besides, even god stopped caring about me... This is too much...

Do not do anything like that. Get any help you need. God doesn't stop caring. God's care cannot and should not be measured by how blessed we feel or how favorable or unfavorable our circumstances are. It goes far deeper than that. You are just as precious to Him as anyone else.

 

[sea5763]

nvm

 

[HouseCat71]

I'm thinking of ending my life... BYE FOREVER... Besides, even god stopped caring about me... This is too much...

As someone who has woken up in a hospital bed to find that my attempt didn't work...I can tell you...please...reconsider. Having witnessed my oldest brother going through with it...I am glad that I did not. There are some days I still think about it, but I try to find a purpose in every day; something to distract me from those horrible places my mind can go. It's hard, but I make myself get up, do something...even if it's just sit on the porch and read a book. At least I am distracted. It helps.

I don't know if you have anyone to talk to. I hope you find someone to talk to...anyone. Please call a suicide hotline...find someone to speak to about this. You matter to someone. I am praying right now that Jesus will blanket you with His comfort and love and give you some kind of peace...if just a little to know that you still have a purpose here...you still matter to Him.

 

[Yusuphhai]

No i didn't have a time machine in mind. More a description of the inner workings of the heart from an inner world/Creation perspective. Like the main character has a fall in faith and sins, yet what happens in the spiritual world within his heart and mind is the other side of the story.

Where i want to use The Word working in this inner world towards Jesus coming as King and ruler and who and in what way we rule with Christ in His kingdom over our life and beyond, but where i also want to look at sin working in the human heart and what forces of destruction it brings about. So in my story all the good as well as all of the bad we find in the human heart i want to give vision and shape to using God's word.

i most likely use the book of Revelation to guide the story line. (still tossing up if i should use parts of Ezekiel as well.) Where i want to start with a Jesus revelation and from there on follow faith conquering and The Word materialising, as well as sin working in opposition to that within the human heart, all the way to chapter 20 and beyond.

i choose a mental ill main character to bring out the hardships mentally ill people face, as well giving myself some more liberty bringing bad life into being, and how God's loving truth can save us in our fallen and often broken lives and bring us His good life instead.


Any way how have you been feeling lately brother? Have the deepest valley past or do you still often languish rock bottom? Hoping your medicines are helping you feel better.

God bless you with peace.

Peace.

Now I take 2 Minapulun hydrochloride tablets and 1.5 Prozac, I feel a little better. Thankfully You are a member of Depression Forum, and you are a good counselor. To build a Rehabilitation room is so important that recently everyday I can not leave here. Your name and Tempura and Press on(we can add more to this list) are always in my mind. We need not be excellent enough to be accepted by God and others, God cares our weakness and knows our reality. We just offer an honest broken heart, trust he would put it in his hands and protect it like a baby. If possibly, the experience of CF Recovery can be extended to Chinese community and to groups of other religions. That is a way for the benefit of the recovery for many people and myself.

Wish you a blessed and happy day! And become a good author.

 

[HouseCat71]

My heart was broken today. A dear teenage girl in my church (we'll call "G") who is legally blind and albino is being picked on by the other girls. This girl is the sweetest, kindest person and I love her so much. I love having her help and sing with us during worship when she gets the nerve to.

Today, her mother told me she's having such a hard time. One girl "C", has been particularly malicious to her. She is the oldest of the 'mean girl' bunch and setting a terrible example for the other younger girls. What's worse, is her mother is on the worship team and I don't know if she knows about it. I hope G's mother will talk to C's mother and put a stop to it. I hate this kind of thing in the church.
I know girls can be just plain mean at that age, but G is so discouraged. She knows she is different and to have these girls from church treat her that way just discourages her more.

I have rallied some women to pray for her and encourage her because I cannot stand that sort of behavior...in church or anywhere. We ladies have such a hard time of it as it is....we should be lifting each other up, not tearing one another down.

If you think to, say a prayer for G that C will stop picking on her and see the error of her ways.

 

[Jeshu]

My heart was broken today. A dear teenage girl in my church (we'll call "G") who is legally blind and albino is being picked on by the other girls. This girl is the sweetest, kindest person and I love her so much. I love having her help and sing with us during worship when she gets the nerve to.

Today, her mother told me she's having such a hard time. One girl "C", has been particularly malicious to her. She is the oldest of the 'mean girl' bunch and setting a terrible example for the other younger girls. What's worse, is her mother is on the worship team and I don't know if she knows about it. I hope G's mother will talk to C's mother and put a stop to it. I hate this kind of thing in the church.
I know girls can be just plain mean at that age, but G is so discouraged. She knows she is different and to have these girls from church treat her that way just discourages her more.

I have rallied some women to pray for her and encourage her because I cannot stand that sort of behavior...in church or anywhere. We ladies have such a hard time of it as it is....we should be lifting each other up, not tearing one another down.

If you think to, say a prayer for G that C will stop picking on her and see the error of her ways.

Maybe tell the Church pastor about these events so the he or she can have a talk with both girls, or even have a sermon about it, and see if as a Church you can love this sort of evil out of your midst.

Praying something can be done about this.

 

[Jeshu]

Your name and Tempura and Press on(we can add more to this list) are always in my mind. We need not be excellent enough to be accepted by God and others, God cares our weakness and knows our reality. We just offer an honest broken heart, trust he would put it in his hands and protect it like a baby.

So true brother, some people force themselves to be good in the eyes of men, but God wants a heart that dares to fail and then come to Him for redemption. Mental illness makes it impossible to conform to religious guidelines, but loving Jesus for helping us in time of need, we are able to do. Loving Jesus also helps us doing His will and that is the best part of it.

We are to love and pray for each other, not catch each other with nets, as religious/worldy people are so good at doing.

So glad God placed us on your way and we could encourage you and pray for you. You have been through a very difficult time and it was great to be able to love and support you through it. So glad things are going a little better now.

If possibly, the experience of CF Recovery can be extended to Chinese community and to groups of other religions. That is a way for the benefit of the recovery for many people and myself.

How do you think we could do that? Over the years i have seen very few Chinese people come to CF. i know you Chinese are the most numerous people in the world, and yet only very few people from China come to visit here. There must be a lot of mentally people in China as well. How best to excess them? How many Chinese people know English well enough to benefit from an English speaking forum? Are there forums that support mentally ill people in China that we could visit as English speaking people? It would be great if the idea of recovery could be implemented in the Chinese community.

Peace

1 John 2:10
Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.

 

[Yusuphhai]

How do you think we could do that? Over the years i have seen very few Chinese people come to CF. i know you Chinese are the most numerous people in the world, and yet only very few people from China come to visit here. There must be a lot of mentally people in China as well. How best to excess them? How many Chinese people know English well enough to benefit from an English speaking forum? Are there forums that support mentally ill people in China that we could visit as English speaking people? It would be great if the idea of recovery could be implemented in the Chinese community.

Peace

1 John 2:10
Anyone who loves their brother and sister lives in the light, and there is nothing in them to make them stumble.

Dear brother,

I mean I can learn some idea from CF and apply it in different groups. Before there was a Chinese Depression Forum, including Buddhism and Christianity Sections. As CF, in every section need to observe the particular rules. But Treating the patients kindly is the common rule. Unfortunately this forum doesn’t work now.

Before when I worked for the handicapped in my community, I listened to a class. The teacher said Chinese leaders liked to go abroad to investigate the Rehabilitation system for handicapped. They found China is learning from H.K. , H.K. is learning from Japan, Japan is learning from North Europe. Why China is so behindhand? I think the main reason is not poor economics, but lack of awe to God and respect to God’s image- man.

And from a widely perspective, every mortal need recovery, resurrection is the final healing from death. Or resurrection of the evil is a worse starting of not healing.

Wish you a happy day, overcoming the bad life.

 

[Tempura]

If you think to, say a prayer for G

Reading that made me angry and sick to my core. Also made me remember the way I have treated some people when I was young. We can be so awful to each other. Praying for God's good will to be done in everyone involved, and the girl's spirits to be lifted and comforted. I'm glad you're there for her.

 

[Jeshu]

Feeling really lousy today. i hope i pick up a bit.

 

[Tempura]

Hang on in there brother Jeshu.

 

[Jeshu]

Hang on in there brother Jeshu.

Doing my best brother. i didn't get much sleep last night and then discovered that our septic system was blocked and spend more than a hour unblocking it. A crappy, smelly job. So it has been a bit of a morning.

Still very down. i took some more medication so i hope this will help. My thoughts don't seem as dark as first thing this morning. Very drained and hollow.

 

[Tempura]

Doing my best brother. i didn't get much sleep last night and then discovered that our septic system was blocked and spend more than a hour unblocking it. A crappy, smelly job. So it has been a bit of a morning.

Still very down. i took some more medication so i hope this will help. My thoughts don't seem as dark as first thing this morning. Very drained and hollow.

Oh man, that stinks. Literally. But well done, you did it! I was trimming my mother's hedge today. Not smelly, but spiky job.

Drained and hollow can sometimes lead us to good kind of emptiness. Where we just let go, and where we don't even want to think anymore. Too many thoughts in my mind, so often. Sometimes it's good to be drained, tired, and leave thinking out of it and just breathe. No need to get anywhere then, no rush.

 

[Jeshu]

Still feeling very down. Its been all week already. Yvonne found me this song to encourage me onwards.

 

[Yusuphhai]

I can't think about the problems about suicide of others or myself, i am sensitive and weak. Maybe I need to still translate to distract my attention.

blessings to all.