Friend from ten years ago

nngraves777

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An Old friend from ten years ago?

Ok I use to hang out with this girl ten years ago and I stopped talking to her because she was always so jealous of me and even tried to sleep with one of my boyfriends. Well so I'm married now and have grown up. Well I keep running into her every where I go here lately and she always ask for my number and I give it to her but when she calls I don't answer. Well here is the Problem I keep running into her every time I go shopping and I'm beginning to think that God may have a reason why he wants me to be friends with her. So any way I let her come over the other day and she has two kids now and a guy she is dating. She seems that she has grown up but,I'm still scared because she has done so much to me in the past I'm afraid she will try to do something to me again. She already is kind of being annoying because she called the day after she left already inviting herself back over and that is kind of rude because most wait for an invite. Any way what do you guys think I should do
 

Turtle Dove

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Hello, I think that all things are possible with Christ. Maybe she is anxious because she needs a friend and does not have any. Maybe God is putting you two together again for a reason. I would pray about it and talk to her about the Word and take it from there.
 
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CuddlyBear

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You could try and talk to her about your feelings. Clearing the air on that may help you make your decision when you see her perspective on those things now.

I think you are right to be wary. Go carefully. She may have changed, she may not have. Probably she has but who knows? You can forgive her without having to have a relationship with her. If she is seeking you out because she is needy, is that something you feel you can give at this time?

Personally I would probably say something like, "I know this happened ages ago but when we parted I was really hurt that you had tried to sleep with my boyfriend. I really feel I need to talk that through if we are to move on in our relationship ... ".
 
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Avniel

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Honestly I feel your concern you have to be very careful who you associate yourself with. The counsel you keep is extremely important. So just pray about having a connection with her. It's not good to talk to people that mean you know good. But at the same time dont just write her off because of the history. Pray and if you feel that God is telling you she is reaching out to you and has changed, or needs you in her corner then do it but if you pray and you feel like he isnt saying then that then dont.
 
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DoctorJosh

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An Old friend from ten years ago?

Ok I use to hang out with this girl ten years ago and I stopped talking to her because she was always so jealous of me and even tried to sleep with one of my boyfriends. Well so I'm married now and have grown up. Well I keep running into her every where I go here lately and she always ask for my number and I give it to her but when she calls I don't answer. Well here is the Problem I keep running into her every time I go shopping and I'm beginning to think that God may have a reason why he wants me to be friends with her. So any way I let her come over the other day and she has two kids now and a guy she is dating. She seems that she has grown up but,I'm still scared because she has done so much to me in the past I'm afraid she will try to do something to me again. She already is kind of being annoying because she called the day after she left already inviting herself back over and that is kind of rude because most wait for an invite. Any way what do you guys think I should do

It is time to show your real colors now and how you have Changed as well. Invite her to Church this next weekend. Bringing her to the word of God is something that will put the whole friendship to the test. If she just wants to be friends again, cool, but that friendship comes with God included. Right? Well, this may be your chance to help save another soul. God Bless.
 
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PuppyforChrist

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A lot can happen in 10 years and a lot of maturing as well. Perhaps you should give her a chance to, in a sense, "prove" herself to you. I'm sure she knows as well as you do that she hurt you quite a bit in the past, and you have good reason to be leery.

If it were me, I'd say give her a chance, but if she shows indications that she hasn't changed, then I would move on.
 
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iamjcs

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:pray: Praying for you both.
-

:idea: I would recommend the 2 of you, for now, meeting outside both's home - like in a park or for lunch.

This does several things,
1: keeps her away from your husband for now,
2: gives the kids something to do while the 2 of you talk
3: shows her you care without letting her too close too quick.
4: shows her that you forgive her & are willing to try again - slowly & cautiously, but lovingly.
 
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nngraves777

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I just wanted to give and up date as to this post. I have realized by the Grace of God she has not changed and that I was right to listen to the Lord's nudging on this matter. I will explain a little what happend. She was suppose to come visit last Sunday afternoon and The night before when I was praying I asked Lord if you don't want me talking to this girl please allow something to happen tommorw. Well my husband works 7am to 3pm and he went to work and came home by 8am saying he was sick and he is never ever sick! So I text her and told her that she can come over in a few days. Well then she said she would come Wed so then I had prayed right then that Lord still if you don't want me to get back involved with this person let something eles happen. Well wed my husband was still so sick I had to take him to the E.R. So I text her and said look I'm not avoiding you but, he is really sick and we aren't up for company. So I told her lets plan to go eat this Friday and if he is sick we will go by our selfs. So then she text me Thursday saying Oh I'm going be going out of town and can't make it Friday. So I took it as she wasn't really going out of town at all and just wanted to in a way pay me back like you stood me up two times now I'm standing you up! Which I was not standing her up my husband was really sick. So that showed me a little of how she still had not changed because she has always been very vendictive. So God showed me he wanted me away from this girl. I also heard other signs like that week at church the preacher said the Devil will send people from your past to try to get you back involved with them and they will ruin your life. So praise God he cares so much for us he protects us even from bad friendships.. Thanks for listening to this..
 
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GaryP

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I think this is a big stretch. So the Father in Heaven, makes your husband sick and she
lies about going out of town to give an answer to you prayers.
Then a preacher tells you, past friends will ruin you life. Jesus said it is "Finished".
If the Father in Heaven gives you life, through Jesus, How can a
created being, your past friend, ruin you life.
The Spirit of the Father in Heaven brings comfort, I do not believe that God would
make your husband suffer to answer your question. You have also judged this woman
by the past and you think she lied. Maybe she did have to leave town. Then what?
The preacher made a blanket statement about old friends. Does he know what is
in her heart? So if it is a sign from God, Go up to this preacher, look him in the eye
and ask him the name of the past friend you have to avoid. If he gives you the correct
answer, then you will know. If not take the advice from another poster and ask
the preacher, if you can bring a past friend to church. The sign will be his answer.
Do you think he is going to say "no".
Maybe she will say "no".
 
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nngraves777

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Ok I wanted to give another update and I knew that the Lord wanted me far far away from this girl. I recieved a phone call from my friend from ten years ago and she was crying. I said whats wrong ? She then went on to tell me that she is really is in some serious trouble. I said why what happend? Well she began to tell me she Got pulled over with her live in boyfriend Sat night and they found Meth and weed in her car. Also her new born baby and 9year old son where in the car. I asked her who's drugs was it and she said they were hers and his. She kept crying saying she wanted to be honest what happend and that she posted bond today. Then she asked me if I had any money she could borrow and I told her no I don't. I then asked her, do you have any intetions on stopping the drugs and she flat out told me that she is going through with draws from the Meth and that she is still on probation for a charge a few years ago and she did 2years in prison,I was blown away I didn't even know she was in prison. So needless to say this is truly not God who brought this person back to my life it was the Devil to cause termoil. I asked her if she wanted to come to church tommorow and she flat out told me no she has no plans to go to church any time soon and I told her over the phone today that I will pray for her and her kids but,as far as being friends with her again I can't do that. She said that is fine and hung up on me. She has always been like that and I can't handle that type of life style. Then a few minutes after she hung up she text me saying that even if I gave her the money she was going to buy meth with it because she was having with draws from the meth. I was thinking ok, I guess she was like taughting me and throwing that in my face. Any way this is a mess of a matter and want to thank you guys for listening and all the great advice. God bless.
 
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