I'm pretty convinced I'm eternally lost. If falling and worshipping the beast (Satan) is the eternal sin then, why isn't it now?!
In all honesty, I'm not really sure how to answer this. I believe that during "The Tribulation", different rules apply. At this moment, we live in the "Age of Grace". It seems that during the Tribulation, accepting the Mark
will be spiritually fatal. I don't believe there exists such condemnable acts NOW.
Jesus spoke of an "unforgiveable sin". Again, I don't have ALL the answers. In context, He was condemning the Pharasees for claiming He cast out demons by the
prince of demons. Which was in essence
calling the Holy Spirit, EVIL. But I've been convicted in my spirit, that the real crime was their rejection of God. In Heb6, it says "it is impossible to restore to repentance WHILE they fall away,
SINCE they crucify Christ anew and hold Him up to contempt". Just as Heb3 says, they are "hardened by the deceitfulness of sin", and become contemptuous. Thus---the impossibility of their return-to-salvation, hinges on the single word:
SINCE. SINCE they are contemptuous, THEY REMAIN unrepentant and unsaved. Clearly, if they return to belief, THEY WILL BE SAVED!!! Just as the Prodigal son was.
I've asked Jesus sincerely to forgive me (and many times not once), to give me a second chance, told him the truth that I didn't mean to fall and would never have done so had I not been led to to believe I was eternally and finally condemned already, but no assurance or hope in my spirit whatsoever.
You've been dealing with some very dangerous things. So you cannot trust how you "feel in your spirit". Please open your Bible and read, right now: Eph6:10-20, esp 12. Do you understand? By surrendering to satan, you gave him license for your soul. You gave him permission to mess with you
more than anyone else. Now read, 1Jn4:4 "You have overcome them---because
greater is He that is within you than he that is in the world! You're gonna hafta actually claim the blood of Jesus. "I rebuke you by the blood of Jesus! I command you by the name of MY SAVIOR, JESUS CHRIST! GO AWAY AND LEAVE ME ALONE" I've heard of people who've been into occultic things, the demons really try to get them back. Covers fly off in the middle of the night. Weird things happen. (Read "The Beautiful Side of Evil" by Johanna Michaelson) Their solution? JUST THE WORDS I SAID! It worked for them, it will work for you. If you have given yourself to God, then don't worry if you don't FEEL close. Just pursue Him, read the Word, and HE WILL MEET YOU WHERE YOU STAND! PROMISE!
You're gonna hafta rebuke the devil and command him to flee---but don't get too focused on him. Read Luke 10:17-19. Do you see? The devil HAS NO POWER! It's all a LIE.
Now read verse 20. It's the KEY. "Rejoice instead that your name is written in Heaven!" It's not "GOOD-BAD", "YIN/YANG", "GOD-DEVIL"---oh no, it's "GOD-SUPREME-BEING-ABSOLUTE-GOOD-PERFECT-LOVE-CREATOR of the UNIVERSE-OMNISCIENT-OMNIPOTENT-OMNIPRESENT"...
...and satan's just a fallen angel!!!!!!
I don't know what to do anymore, nothing may be able to separate US from the love of God in Christ Jesus, but we can separate ourselves from it- Satan finally overcame me and I surrendered to him.
He's NOTHIN'---it's a LIE! Just spend time with God, read the Bible, and find a good church! I recommend counselling by a Spirit-filled minister! Tell him what you've told here.
Just seek God, and you will find Him. He will find you. Both.
He's real. Just ask Him. He created the Universe. Nothing and no one is more powerful than Him. Nothing more powerful than His love for YOU.
Nothing EVEN COMES CLOSE! If Jesus had to die on the Cross, to save ONE PERSON---
YOU---
He still would have died! How can we walk away from such love!