Why do christian women only want tall guys?

[aNewMan]

Do we live by popular, secular culture? Even among non-Christian circles, promiscuity is rarely promoted among women.

Regardless, your comment was not aimed at secular women, but all women who aren't young.

No, we shouldnt, but its not like Christians are in separate isolation from the secular world, we are in it. I disagree with you, i dont know where you live but in the Western world promiscuity is absolutely promoted, even more for women than it is for men. My comment was more tongue in cheek meant for Mehguy and the current state of what Men have to deal with in respect to marriage prospects. Women are told this lie in secular culture that they can have it all as well as be as sexually free in their youth as they want but theyre never told that their fertility has a short shelf life in order to produce healthy children until its too late and they're too old.

 

[bèlla]

A good man is very hard to find in this day and age so that makes you sort of a rare commiddity then. So you have the power and can be much more selective than she can. I was always very picky with girls.

Good men aren't hard to find. They're difficult to attract if you don't have the qualities they value and the same holds true on the other side. The caveat is the perception of good and the necessity for agreement. A person may believe they're a catch but if the person they're interested in thinks otherwise they're not a catch for them.

You should be picky with girls. Every time you break up with a GF, you ahould make sure to step up in quality of girl in your next GF. Never step down in class of women you date. Do. Not. Settle. You don't have to.

That only works if your stature increases in tandem. You'll hit a wall eventually.

 

[aNewMan]

A person may believe they're a catch but if the person they're interested in thinks otherwise they're not a catch for them.

This is why I said you can't negotiate genuine desire.

 

[bèlla]

My comment was more tongue in cheek meant for Mehguy and the current state of what Men have to deal with in respect to marriage prospects. Women are told this lie in secular culture that they can have it all as well as be as sexually free in their youth as they want but theyre never told that their fertility has a short shelf life in order to produce healthy children until its too late and they're too old.

While it's tongue in cheek you're correct. Many men desire companions with few or no relations with the opposite sex. I was going to touch on that in my response to someone else. In light of your comment I'll share it below.

"As far a Christian women go hmm.......I have a feeling that certain Christian women are "saving themselves" for the prototype of their ideal man."

There's wisdom in recognizing tomorrow will come and living with that in mind. You'll be more discriminating and intentional and less likely to fly by the seat of your pants and subject yourself to calamity. The majority do otherwise. They're stuck in the moment and rarely consider where a decision leads or the consequence of their alliances.

A wise man acknowledges his ignorance and doesn't dismiss inexperience haphazardly. He doesn't treat his life like a poker game. Risking his heart on platitudes and wishful thinking. He understands the reality of awareness. We cannot see beyond ourselves and all we see is a reflection of our vision.

The solution isn't finding the one but the necessity of finding ourselves with God in mind. Until we see as He does we're not seeing at all and the likelihood of delusion is great.

Have I saved the best for last? Absolutely and it wasn't by chance. I knew the reckoning would come and I wanted a harvest. I lived with principles that protected my vision and reinforced its attainment.

- Never do anything that will compromise my character and moral compass.
- Don't do anything I can't admit on a stage.
- Don't do anything I'll be ashamed to admit to a man.

I didn't give myself a pass when I was in the world or play the young card or blame others or naivete. I didn't say it's under the blood or bury the skeletons. I own it all. Every thought, every word, every gain and every loss. I'm not ashamed.

Many spend their lives desiring to be loved and respected instead of devoting themselves to becoming someone worthy of admiration. They're begging for consideration when they should be unforgettable. Lives should be bettered through our presence. The more they are the greater our value to the Kingdom and the world.

~bella

 

[rturner76]

Bro, look at NBA players and how many groupie women they always have. Or is that maybe because theyre mostly black men? I'm not sure.

Anyone famous has groupies like musicians, artists, actors or whatever. But I do know what you mean in that NBA players seem to be the cream of the crop for women throwing themselves at them. Go backstage at any major concert and you will see women literally lined up to be a bandmember or singer's plaything for the night.

I'm sure it also doesn't hurt an NBA player's reputation when they have a mansion and a Lambo, Bently, Ferrarri, or a Lotus or some other million dollar imported car. Having buku bucks and globally recognized talent/skills never hurts your chances with the ladies. I wouldn't say that it's because they are black (though it can be a fettish for some). The Futball players all over the world on top league teams will likely attest to that. Those soccer (futball) players come in all colors.

 

[LoveDivine]

Why was this thread resurrected? Lol.

Goodness. I don't know why. I thought we had laid this one to rest. I tried to bury this one a couple months ago. It's stupid and pointless, because the OP is over 6 feel tall. He's not short by anyone's standards. He's actually the height that all women supposedly want lol

 

[Citanul]

Why was this thread resurrected? Lol.

Not just this one. I really don't get the point of it as they've moved off the first page a long time ago and so take some searching to find. Also, if no one has posted in a thread for months then that's a sign that we may not be all that interested in the topic anymore.

 

[trophy33]

Excellent points. I'll also add that the only primary criteria most men use to rate women is strictly her physical looks and how physically attractive she is and thats a recipe for disaster. If you don't care about her personality, intelligence, temperament, how she views herself and the world, you're a fool. Beautiful women are a dime a dozen. It doesnt mean much other than that she's nice to look at.

Some certainly use that primary criteria only, but not for long term relationships or marriages. Rather just for short term physical affairs.

When men look for something more serious, I think that most of them consider also other things, at least after some time being together. However, there are still many who dont and who pay for that, later.

Anyway, there are more and more women who consider looks only, too. More and more people generally seem to stop thinking about their future, preferring just "here and now".

 

[aNewMan]

Some certainly use only that primary criteria, but not for long term relationships or marriages. Rather just for short term physical affairs.

When men look for something more serious, I think that most of them consider also other things, at least after some time being together. However, there are still many who dont and who pay for that, later.

Anyway, there are more and more women who consider looks only, too. More and more people generally seem to stop thinking about their future, preferring just "here and now".

Yeah, far too many guys don't, and they can't/won't walk away either because they get oneitis and don't want to lose access to the sex. Paul Elam has some great videos about why men do that, i've learned a lot from him. He's like an expert on psychology regarding that subject.

 

[Divide]

Good men aren't hard to find. They're difficult to attract if you don't have the qualities they value and the same holds true on the other side. The caveat is the perception of good and the necessity for agreement. A person may believe they're a catch but if the person they're interested in thinks otherwise they're not a catch for them.

Did you contradict ourself here? I agree with all of this except the first 6 words. If the guy thinks you don't have the qualities he prefers then what have you found? S good man perhaps but not for you, so he wouldn't count. If you can't attract him then, do you go home and say I found a good man? Or, I seen a good man? If they are hard to attract, then good men are indeed hard to find.

Not to just see one but to attract him and have him for your BF. Good men are therefore hard to find. We're not talking about finding men who will have sex with you and it's all lust driven, she's pretty. There's a lot more involved with an entire package of a good woman.
Does she have a nice spirit? Does she have a good heart? Is she even halfway intelligent? In my experience, most women display the answers to these questions rather quickly if you watch and listen.. So the can be quickly dismissed and turned down. I have turned down and said no to quite a few women over the years. Some were very beautiful. There's more to it than that.

 

[timewerx]

Incels are hardly so because they're all short. They AREN'T all short.

There are generalized traits for both sexes that are seen as appealing and unappealing. And for each of those, there are countless exceptions.

People rely too often and too easily on blaming perceived physical shortcomings for relationship or social struggles, when the reality is that it's almost always down to their personality, attitude, or mindset.

Exceptions are far fewer for a reason. That's why they are called "exceptions" in the first place! If you need to become the exception, then you need to work harder. You need to deal with greater odds. It can become a temptation to compromise our Christian principles.

I don't really have issues with women wanting taller guys. There's no argument here and marriage isn't a game where we make it a challenge to make someone fall in love with us when they want want someone else. It may lead to divorce later on when we marry someone who isn't in-love with us.

I'm just wondering how much of their choice is influenced by the entertainment media, internet, articles, etc.

 

[TheLastGeek]

Exceptions are far fewer for a reason. That's why they are called "exceptions" in the first place! If you need to become the exception, then you need to work harder. You need to deal with greater odds. It can become a temptation to compromise our Christian principles.

I don't really have issues with women wanting taller guys. There's no argument here and marriage isn't a game where we make it a challenge to make someone fall in love with us when they want want someone else. It may lead to divorce later on when we marry someone who isn't in-love with us.

I'm just wondering how much of their choice is influenced by the entertainment media, internet, articles, etc.

The more we absorb social media, and believe that what we see on Facebook, Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, etc, is "reality", the more skewed our perceptions become. Reality is what takes place around us, in what we can detect with our own five senses. My observation has consistently been that what people believe are "rare exceptions" are actually far more numerous, and could very well be the rule/majority instead. I think there's a danger in "Well, I've seen some people do this on social media; therefore, it must be a trend for the whole culture". That's not reality.

I don't think that most Christians, or most people in general, are choosing future spouses in order to impress their social media followers.

You don't see men who are under 6'5 walking around single their whole lives because the entire female gender has deemed them repulsive due to their height.

Because it's simply not true.

 

[bèlla]

Did you contradict ourself here? I agree with all of this except the first 6 words. If the guy thinks you don't have the qualities he prefers then what have you found? S good man perhaps but not for you, so he wouldn't count. If you can't attract him then, do you go home and say I found a good man? Or, I seen a good man? If they are hard to attract, then good men are indeed hard to find.

Your inability to attract your perception of good doesn't minimize their existence. It means you haven't figured out what you need to do to get a yes. Whether that implies a no or an unwillingness to engage. They don't cease to be good because you can't have them.

The person who says no good men or women exist aren't meeting people who meet their criteria or securing agreement from the ones who do. That's their fault not the other.

Not to just see one but to attract him and have him for your BF. Good men are therefore hard to find. We're not talking about finding men who will have sex with you and it's all lust driven, she's pretty. There's a lot more involved with an entire package of a good woman.

I've had no difficulty attracting or dating good men. That was true when I was in the world and since my reconciliation to Christ. The common denominator in those scenarios is bella. Something I'm saying or doing that resonates.

Does she have a nice spirit? Does she have a good heart? Is she even halfway intelligent? In my experience, most women display the answers to these questions rather quickly if you watch and listen.. So the can be quickly dismissed and turned down. I have turned down and said no to quite a few women over the years. Some were very beautiful. There's more to it than that.

We attract what we are. The quality of our suitors is a reflection of the magnet. Whenever we're drawing someone not to our liking we should investigate what drew them in and make adjustments if required.

I've never contemplated if someone has a nice heart or spirit or worried about their intelligence. They aren't on my radar and wouldn't bother. The man I esteem is obvious. You see it in my appearance, disposition, intellect, discourse and interests. I speak his language. Learning him was a priority and that's the magnet.

God said, "I will make him a helper fit for him."

I wasn't fashioned for everyone. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or what you bring to the table. The man I'm meant to walk beside needs my gifts and talents. He isn't enamored with my prowess. He requires my assistance for his mission and I need his. I could bless a lot of men with my knowledge and aptitude. But they don't require it for the Lord's work and the majority would go unused. That isn't biblical.

Everything He placed within us has a purpose. I don't begin with feelings I start with why. Why do you need me? I don't ask the question. The answer reveals itself through our engagement. Once I settle that the other follows.

That's why I responded to your post. Leveling up is a fallacy. Growth has a narrowing effect. The more you grow the narrower the path becomes. Your associations and opportunities reflect the change. Leveling up isn't meeting a better suitor. It's raising yourself to the position that opens the door for better experiences.

When you contemplate your Adam or Eve you have to look at yourself. What are you doing and working towards? The answer is found in your response. What parallels do you see between yourself and biblical characters? Who's most like you? And who was their spouse?

The majority have lofty ideals about the opposite sex. They're looking for someone greater than the rest and rarely consider what they're bringing in return. They want the most attractive, wealthiest, most prominent, etc. Most of it is an outgrowth of insecurity and ego.

I spend 3 to 4 hours everyday on Kingdom principles and finance. That's 21 hours per week in addition to running a business and time devoted to my studies and reading. I finish a 100 books or more per year. What kind of man needs a woman like that? I know the answer but if I didn't I'd waste a lot of time on the wrong suitors.

~bella

 

[timewerx]

You don't see men who are under 6'5 walking around single their whole lives because the entire female gender has deemed them repulsive due to their height.

Because it's simply not true.

I know short guys with poor personalities, not financially stable and they're all single.

I know tall guys who had the personality of a plank, financially stable and some rich and they're all married.

Short guys, nice personality, financially stable/rich and they're all married.

Short guys, nice personality, poor, some are married.

I don't personally know anyone who is tall and poor.


What I can only conclude is that for short guys, they need to have at least nice personality to get married. A crowd pleaser of sorts. A well-likeable personality. I have come to an observation that many of the regular chronically-single male members in this part of the forum have issues with their personality or social awkwardness.

Tall guys tend to be more financially successful than short guys regardless of personality or bad attitude.

Developing a crowd pleasing personality doesn't work for everyone and for the same reason, we all can't become good actors even if our life depended on it.

 

[Divide]

Your inability to attract your perception of good doesn't minimize their existence. It means you haven't figured out what you need to do to get a yes. Whether that implies a no or an unwillingness to engage. They don't cease to be good because you can't have them.

The person who says no good men or women exist aren't meeting people who meet their criteria or securing agreement from the ones who do. That's their fault not the other.



I've had no difficulty attracting or dating good men. That was true when I was in the world and since my reconciliation to Christ. The common denominator in those scenarios is bella. Something I'm saying or doing that resonates.



We attract what we are. The quality of our suitors is a reflection of the magnet. Whenever we're drawing someone not to our liking we should investigate what drew them in and make adjustments if required.

I've never contemplated if someone has a nice heart or spirit or worried about their intelligence. They aren't on my radar and wouldn't bother. The man I esteem is obvious. You see it in my appearance, disposition, intellect, discourse and interests. I speak his language. Learning him was a priority and that's the magnet.

God said, "I will make him a helper fit for him."

I wasn't fashioned for everyone. It doesn't matter how attractive you are or what you bring to the table. The man I'm meant to walk beside needs my gifts and talents. He isn't enamored with my prowess. He requires my assistance for his mission and I need his. I could bless a lot of men with my knowledge and aptitude. But they don't require it for the Lord's work and the majority would go unused. That isn't biblical.

Everything He placed within us has a purpose. I don't begin with feelings I start with why. Why do you need me? I don't ask the question. The answer reveals itself through our engagement. Once I settle that the other follows.

That's why I responded to your post. Leveling up is a fallacy. Growth has a narrowing effect. The more you grow the narrower the path becomes. Your associations and opportunities reflect the change. Leveling up isn't meeting a better suitor. It's raising yourself to the position that opens the door for better experiences.

When you contemplate your Adam or Eve you have to look at yourself. What are you doing and working towards? The answer is found in your response. What parallels do you see between yourself and biblical characters? Who's most like you? And who was their spouse?

The majority have lofty ideals about the opposite sex. They're looking for someone greater than the rest and rarely consider what they're bringing in return. They want the most attractive, wealthiest, most prominent, etc. Most of it is an outgrowth of insecurity and ego.

I spend 3 to 4 hours everyday on Kingdom principles and finance. That's 21 hours per week in addition to running a business and time devoted to my studies and reading. I finish a 100 books or more per year. What kind of man needs a woman like that? I know the answer but if I didn't I'd waste a lot of time on the wrong suitors.

~bella

So your an exception to the rule. I wondered if a spirit like you was out there and going to challenge me on some of the things I said, lol. You did make some very good points and I agree with you. With you being the exception to the rule, let's not forget that not everyone thinks like you do. Many many young women and men may not have gotten the same education about life that we did. So I was actually trying to talk who are not so smart as others. Because of that I should have made a greater effort to speak more biblically and that was a good catch.

I guess I was trying to tell them don't marry a loser whereas I should have said pray about it and in God's time He will send your spouse to you, you wont need to look for them. I can tell by how you talk that you are picky, and rightly so, for we should not marry unequally yoked.