Now come on Mark. If your religion is going to say God ordained everything you can't just say he has the whole matter in his hands.
You do sound to me like other Calvinists I know that don't REALLY want to believe what Calvinism really teaches. It seems you're looking for ways to minimize the direct statements things like the Westminster Confession has to say about it. No offense but I think you just need to go all the way and come out and say enough is enough. There's no way God could have ordained all things like Calvinism teaches.
Bob. They are logically the very same thing. ALL fact descends from First Cause. Not even the fictions of Chance or Unknowables nor Libertarian Freewill's little first causes, (some of them somehow better than others), trotting about the planet, can claim independence from God's causing whatever there is.
But what's more, Scripture says the same, all over the place. It is assumed from Genesis 1:1 throughout, to Revelation 22:21:
In the beginning, God created...
All things were made by him...
The Grace of the Lord Jesus...
And if I sound at all hesitant, unsure or apologetic about this wonderful God who relented from sending me to the condemnation I justly deserved, and instead showed me mercy I do not deserve, I apologize. He is magnificent, untamed, owes his creatures nothing —not even an explanation for the pain, dismay and confusion they must undergo.
But YOU exalt us to HIS level of reality, as though we being equally alive, self-aware, and of the same kind of agency as he is, is the only way we can justly and naturally be held to the eternal consequences for our choices. We have offended the One and Only, Self-Existent, Almighty Creator, (and yes, that by his own design, or we would never know his Loving Condescension, his Grace and Mercy), and that offense will be returned upon his creatures for what they have done.
My mind is not capable of holding the thoughts in hand to be able to express them. Please forgive me for not being able to demonstrate this Omnipotent God who is of himself the only "brute fact", like no other being, of whom my praises can't even begin to describe.