I think it's easy to get confusion over the dual concepts of God's wrath and judgment.
Many Christians have been taught to understand God's wrath and judgment as separate from, or opposed to His mercy and love. They seem to be two distinct things. How can God be merciful and loving if He is also wrathful and just? We naturally imagine that if God is just, He will be wrathful on sin, but if He is merciful then He will forgive us and withhold a wrathful justice from us.
But the trouble with this concept of God is that it's saying that God is double-minded but He isn't, He has one mind and one will, and does not change his mind like we do. If God is both just and merciful, then these can't be opposing traits. They are part of God's single nature and eternal and so they must be the same thing. IOW, God's justice is merciful, and His mercy is just. These two qualities aren't opposed to each other.
A lot of the reasons for the belief in ECT have to do with simply mistranslations and this leads to a false understanding of God as Torturer rather than Father. The word for "wrath" in Greek is orgé, and this doesn't mean a sudden outburst of anger but a fixed disposition of the will against something. God doesn't want to torture us if we are sinful - His orgé as his fixed antipathy towards sin, not a passionate rage.agaunst us
Seeing it this way, God’s wrath can be understood as His implacable opposition to what is wrong with us. He will never tolerate or permit sin to remain unopposed but He doesn't not do this out of an uncontrolled anger but rather.as.an outpouring of His love for us and an abiding concern for our wellbeing.
He like how we need a doctor to be. For a doctor to be merciful he has to do all he can to heal disease. He must be implacable opposed to our disease but kind towards us.
How can God be less than this. If His justice and hatred towards sin is not merciful towards us then it's merely harming us which would be unfair. And If His mercy towards us ignores what is just, and is not truly opposed to our sin then it would make God ineffective and unable to save us.
So we should not accept the theology that Team Hell is caught up in and attempts to push in the rest of us where God is divided up into opposing wills, or competing attributes. Their theology says that God will have to ignore His sense of what is just and right if He is going to be merciful,but this simply shows an inability to understand God as being one in His nature.
It seems odd to have to say it, but God is neither an executioner who.will annihilate some of us without appeal, and neither is He a torturer who will keep us alive forever in a state of pain and regret for what we did or didn't do or believe in this life.