I need him but hes not here

Jesslyn

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...
 

Tone

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...

Hello and welcome to CF...I'm glad you didn't go to the ER! You need to hear...are you listening?
 
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Tone

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...

Why do you believe He is silent?
 
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Rescued One

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I have 2 choices:

1. Believe God with the faith He gave me.
2. Don't believe God, and claim that everything is random with no punishment for evil and no peace for anyone.

I can't live with the second choice. It makes life meaningless.
 
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Tone

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...


One more question:

How have you positioned yourself to hear Him?
 
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Tone

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Rescued One

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...

Phony Christians (actually non-Christians) are allowed in churches. We aren't required to believe that everyone who claims to be a Christian is one.

I don't hear an audible voice from God. His word and Holy Spirit guide me. His word is amazing!

Christian Psalm 23_.jpg


2 Timothy 3

16 All Scripture is God-breathed and is useful for teaching, rebuking, correcting and training in righteousness, 17 so that the servant of God a may be thoroughly equipped for every good work.

Scripture helps Christians because we love God. Only God can save us and He demonstrated His love first. If we truly love Him, we obey Him. We aren't afraid of hell. We forgive everyone because He told us to. Forgiving others brings us peace. Love feels so much better than hate!

 
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How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt?
Also why are we supposed to trust a book?
True doctrine should match the Bible which points to the Person of Jesus Christ as central.

And beginning with Moses and all the Prophets, he interpreted to them in all the Scriptures the things concerning himself. (Luk 24:27)
 
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Tone

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God is quiet, not silent.

But we have noise in us, which keeps us from hearing Him.

He is the Wonderful and True Sound, but we often get distracted by mere noise.
 
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Jesslyn

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I heard nothing. 10 years of nothing. How do i hear him? Not opening a book and relying on intuitive thoughts and feelings of what god might be saying but REALLY hear him. Im not talking about a voice but you know 100% that its from him.
 
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Tone

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Even though a voice would be nice or even a hug

May Yah wrap you in His Loving Arms and Breathe deeply into every aspect of your being...in Yahshua the Messiah. Amen.
 
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Tone

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I heard nothing. 10 years of nothing. How do i hear him? Not opening a book and relying on intuitive thoughts and feelings of what god might be saying but REALLY hear him. Im not talking about a voice but you know 100% that its from him.

This song comes to mind...listen closely to the lyrics:

 
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Al Touthentop

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I use to be a christian like 10 years ago and it seems like my mental health has degraded since then. Everything is getting worse like I almost went to the ER tonight. I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to. I miss being apart of a community like this but... I have never needed him more in my life than I do tonight. Where is he though? At the same time in my past, Christianity is a big reason why I hate myself. The rules and stipulations. How is it that YOUR doctrine is correct but the guy sitting next to you isnt? The way other Christians act - its almost this brain washed phoney Im perfect type of way. The fact that God remains silent. There were years, and I still do I guess.. that I question his existence. I don’t understand the bible. God leaves it open for us to interpret but condemns people who are gay and other things. Hell too. Also why are we supposed to trust a book? I never really looked for answers because everytime I tried someone would quote the bible at me. Im not trying to insult anyone in this post I just thought maybe someone could give me advice. Where is God because I would really like to hear from him...


I get your frustration. The Bible doesn't get easier to understand by listening to the noise of people's opinions which are often uninfluenced by scripture.

Try just reading the Bible as if it were a novel. Start at Genesis. Don't work too hard trying to understand every verse, just try and get the overall message being delivered. When you get finished with Revelation, start over. It's good to study the bible also but don't let that get in your way of a full reading.

I would also recommend praying just prior to cracking it open no matter what you are doing, be it an overall read or a study. Ask God to open your mind.
 
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Al Touthentop

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I heard nothing. 10 years of nothing. How do i hear him? Not opening a book and relying on intuitive thoughts and feelings of what god might be saying but REALLY hear him. Im not talking about a voice but you know 100% that its from him.

The Bible is 100% from him.
 
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I miss my faith. I miss having god to talk to.

Shalom Jesslyn,

I'm sorry to hear you are going through this phase. But I'm sure it doesn't have to stay this way. I was once where you are and then things changed dramatically for the better ans the relationship became more real and sturdier than any other earthly relationship

Can I ask, what happened 10 years ago? What was going on in your life or heart at that time when things started to change?

Love & Shalom
 
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