I am curious for others' perceptions and thoughts on this matter.
I have a tattoo that I received several years ago. It is not mainstream offensive, as in it is not vulgar or anything along those lines, but it is a pagan tattoo and at the time I had it done, it represented for me a self-reliance (rather than a reliance on God) in regards to resisting evil. Obviously this was also at a time in my life when I was still thinking in terms that symbolism actually mattered and that it could help me be a good person, as opposed to the internal, unseen hard and complex work of genuinely trying to be a better a person. Suffice to say I was pretty immature compared to real wisdom, and mostly just being rebellious and impulsive.
This tattoo is in a place that is prominent unless I make a deliberate effort to keep it covered with clothing choices. I've also gone through periods of severe guilt about the tattoo, although I by now I've reached the understanding that it's more about what others think. God has always known that I have this tattoo, obviously, but what sort of message does it send to others? And also, what would I look like, professing my faith in Jesus Christ, while standing there with a tribal pagan tattoo.
I don't think I'll ever be able to afford to have it removed. Once I finish my college degree in about a year and can become employed again, I'll probably be able to afford to have it covered up, like just a hand-sized black blotch so that it's well, just a big blotch of ink rather than a specific design. That is the best I could afford to do, aside from mutilating it off of my body and having to go to the emergency room (which is something I've honestly contemplated due to how terrible I feel about it sometimes).
At one point, someone else advised me that maybe I should leave it as it is, and use it as some sort of testimony in regards to how I was once astray enough to get a tattoo like that, but then wound up being saved, but I'm not sure how I feel about that.
It has sort of become like this dark secret of mine. I'm currently seeking a church, for example, as I haven't regularly attended church since I was a child, and of course when I go to visit the churches on my list to try them out in search of the right one for me, I'll be making sure that tattoo is covered up, and I certainly won't be eager to mention it to anyone. So then what happens if when the day comes when I am finally able to be baptized, other people see it. The whole situation just gives me a terrible gut feeling.
Lately I've been trying to reach out and feel for what God wants me to do about it, but I haven't felt confident that I've received a response yet, or some sort of sign.
Has anyone been in a similar situation? Does anyone have any thoughts or opinions on this sort of situation?
