Ladies who won't date men who drink, even on occasion

[Reformed2]

You give a lot of power to alcohol. Yes, it causes some people to stumble....especially those that have addictive personalities or unhealthy coping techniques. However, other don't even feel it necessary to finish a glass when they are done and can easily walk away from an open alcoholic beverage. It isn't an irresistible sin for the vast majority of the population. Be careful about judging other people without knowing the facts.

That said, if someone does not want to have a life with alcohol in it, they would be wise to not date people who drink..even occasionally, because the idea of drinking causes them to stumble and become judgmental.

I am also waiting for the verse that says it is okay to drink for medicinal purposes.

1 Timothy 5:23. Sorry for the delay; you're mocking and attacking me on several threads all at once trying to keep up.

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[Paulie079]

I don't have any problem with someone being personally convicted against drinking alcohol, but when they apply their conviction universally to everyone where the Bible does not, I would just point out that the Bible speaks a lot more strongly about the destructive power of money (aka "money is the root of all kinds of evil," "it is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the kingdom of God"). So if someone offered you a large sum of money, would you refuse it for worry that it could ruin your life the way that you believe alcohol has the potential to ruin a person's life?

 

[Cearbhall]

Sorry for the delay; you're mocking and attacking me on several threads all at once trying to keep up.

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I think you mean "contradicting." How dare she...

 

[Reformed2]

I think you mean "contradicting." How dare she...

I was referring to the accusation from this person insinuating that I'm special needs on the other thread right now.

 

[blackribbon]

1 Timothy 5:23. Sorry for the delay; you're mocking and attacking me on several threads all at once trying to keep up.

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I am not mocking anyone. I am having a discussion. Quit taking it so personally.

To continue the DISCUSSION about 1 Tim 5:23 (NIV)

23 Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

I read this verse to say that we should be drinking wine with every meal to aid in digestion to to destroy toxins that may be in the food ... and that it might improve the reader's health.

 

[Reformed2]

I am not mocking anyone. I am having a discussion. Quit taking it so personally.

To continue the DISCUSSION about 1 Tim 5:23 (NIV)

23 Stop drinking only water, and use a little wine because of your stomach and your frequent illnesses.

I read this verse to say that we should be drinking wine with every meal to aid in digestion to to destroy toxins that may be in the food ... and that it might improve the reader's health.

Okay then. Drink your alcohol, call people special, spread discord, all while false witnessing. I know what you are. Your friend on the other thread too

 

[blackribbon]

I was referring to the accusation from this person insinuating that I'm special needs on the other thread right now.

I never insinuated any such thing. I was wondering if you were a bit young and naive....which is where I see more people who see the Bible as being black and white and a strict rule book.

The "You are special" phrase is what RedBlue has posted under his name and there is nothing demeaning about that phrase.

 

[Paulie079]

Okay then. Drink your alcohol, call people special, spread discord, all while false witnessing. I know what you are. Your friend on the other thread too

That is quite the list of accomplishments. And it's only noon on a Monday #winning

 

[blackribbon]

Okay then. Drink your alcohol, call people special, spread discord, all while false witnessing. I know what you are. Your friend on the other thread too

Yes, I do hold women's hands who are fighting addiction issue or are preparing to go home as a single mother and reassure them that "They are special and that God values them." I will continue to do so. I don't know why you live in a world where this is a negative phrase.

I drink very little alcohol but I will not go to hell for drinking a glass of champagne at a wedding or anniversary party.

And Christianity isn't about taking the Bible and force fitting the verses to match your beliefs of who you believe God is but rather to open your mind to God and read what is actually printed on the page. Amazingly enough, the more you read it and reread it, the more you learn because we can understand more and see deeper meaning the more mature we become in Christ.

 

[Reformed2]

Yes, I do hold women's hands who are fighting addiction issue or are preparing to go home as a single mother and reassure them that "They are special and that God values them." I will continue to do so. I don't know why you live in a world where this is a negative phrase.

I drink very little alcohol but I will not go to hell for drinking a glass of champagne at a wedding or anniversary party.

And Christianity isn't about taking the Bible and force fitting the verses to match your beliefs of who you believe God is but rather to open your mind to God and read what is actually printed on the page. Amazingly enough, the more you read it and reread it, the more you learn because we can understand more and see deeper meaning the more mature we become in Christ.

In the other thread, you said "You are special" as in calling me special needs. Then your buddy with the "pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name" under the username changed it to "You are special".

You're nice to single parents are you? I'm a single parent, and you've attacked me because I think Christians should abstain from alcohol (never condemned anyone for it to hell as you claim I have which is false witnessing) and have questioned a satanic song refenerence. That's all I have done, yet it is enough for you to quarell with me on multiple threads.

 

[blackribbon]

In the other thread, you said "You are special" as in calling me special needs. Then your buddy with the "pleased to meet you, hope you guessed my name" under the username changed it to "You are special".

You're nice to single parents are you? I'm a single parent, and you've attacked me because I think Christians should obtain from alcohol (never condemned anyone for it to hell as you claim I have which is false witnessing) and have questioned a satanic song refenerence. That's all I have done, yet it is enough for you to quarell with me on multiple threads.

When I looked (at the time I posted), the phrase under RedBlue's name was "You are special". Since I do not listen nor have never listened to the Rolling Stones, I wouldn't have recognized that this was not the phrase you were complaining about. (I wouldn't have recognized the initial phrase either). How about you stop taking everything personally? And when I posted a confusing post, maybe you should have relooked at his post. I didn't say that you shouldn't restrain from drinking alcohol, I said that it is not Biblical to decide that everyone else should refrain because you had an issue with it. I have not posted anything unBiblical for you to call false witness.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

There are a ton of Christian women that won't date men who drink. Like entire denominations. Southern Baptist comes to mind. Church isn't for dating anyway.

Meh, that's debatable, because there are a lot of places that aren't "meant for dating", but people wind up meeting at anyway. Like the beach is meant for tanning, fishing, and swimming, but is it or is it not meant for dating?

My dad picked up my mom at the beach, 44 years later...the rest is history. lol.

Same for a bookstore, laundry mat,etc.

 

[CodyFaith]

Ya'll realize this is one of those "judge not thy brother over his meat" situations right?

 

[Saucy]

Ya'll realize this is one of those "judge not thy brother over his meat" situations right?

Totally agree man.

 

[Miss Spaulding]

Wow, this thread has not disappointed me. What a feast to read through.

 

[Grandpa2390]

I said to her, "You really need to lighten up on your standards"

Wrong!
What you said to her is out of line, and if she stumbles for it, then you are in danger of judgment.
We are given plenty of example and direct preaching in the New Testament that if something is against your conscience, it is a sin for you. You do not defy your conscience, even if the Bible says it is acceptable to do something.

Obviously, her conscience says that drinking alcohol is wrong. And if she defies her conscience and drinks because of what you said... I shudder to think. You don't know her past and so forth. She might have had an alcoholic relative, might have had past dealings with alcohol that weren't good etc. You're convincing her it is ok to drink may just put her on a path that she need not be on.

Even if you manage to convince her and she has a beer and nothing bad happens to her. You have just led her one step closer to no longer having a conscience. That nagging voice in her head may be telling her alcohol is a sin when it isn't, but that is the same nagging voice that also tells her to not lie, steal, cheat, etc. And once you start to ignore that voice, you learn to ignore it. Your conscience becomes seared. And you will be responsible in the eyes of God.

The logic that followed didn't make any sense, but she said she'd rather stay single her entire life than to date a man who drinks a beer on occasion.

I'd rather stay single my entire life than date a woman with tattoos or body piercings. And, though I don't think people who drink occasionally are going to hell for it, I am not to keen on the idea of marrying a woman that drinks either.

She said "it kills the Witness" that someone who is coming to Christ as a newcomer, if they see that they have a drink in hand, it'll discredit that person and discredit their belief IN that person being Christian.

And she is right. Paul said so himself. If meat offends my brother, I will not eat meat. For various reasons that he lists and I have touched on. There are some things that we just don't do. Not because it is necessarily wrong, but because we are supposed to be set apart, and not even have the appearance of evil.
The passerby sees you holding a drink, they don't know that you practice moderation etc. And the majority of people won't stand around to verify with you whether your drinking habits are compliant with scripture.

and there may be an ex-alcoholic brother, or brother who is susceptible to alcoholism who might think it is ok to imbibe because he saw you, and it creates issues in his life.

Personally, though I don't believe the leader is going to hell, I don't respect him as much as I do ministers that don't imbibe. I'd be looking for another leader myself because he doesn't seem to understand the teachings about weaker brothers and meat.

She went on about how her husband and family members were alcoholics and abuse came of it and that.

So, her dealbreaker is based off a bad experience. Had she not experienced this, then...this wouldn't be an issue. Somehow she is thinking if her new boyfriend has a beer, that it'll lead him to be an abusive spouse, and beating the childrren...in the future.

And there we have it.

Although, not sure if you can connect the two, as there's no real logic to this? But can't say I blame her, but isn't this an example of going from one extreme to the next?

yes there is. Enough logic for Paul to address it to the Romans, the Corinthians, etc.

But there seems to be a commonality that she and her female friend somehow thinks that any future guy they are crushing on has one beer, will he be assumed to be an abusive husband simply by having one drink?

So, their decision is predicated on the fact they were victims of alcohol abuse that lead to physical abuse of herself and her children and thusly, she won't date a man that even touches alcohol.

It's more PTSD than a Christian decision.

it doesn't matter what you think it is. If a Jew converts to Christianity but still feels it is wrong to consume pork. It is against Christian ethics to push and convince him to eat pork. And you stick up for that brother. If you are at an unbeliever's house and he serves you Pork, you offend the unbeliever, not your brother.

You are in the wrong here.
Paul warns us many times in many letters to different churches that we should not cause a weaker brother (or sister) to offend their conscience. that if something we are doing, eating, drinking, listening to, etc. offends one of our brothers/sisters, then we should abstain from it (at least in their presence).
You do not want to be responsible for offending another Christian. No matter how sinless something is.

 

[Grandpa2390]

Exactly, the logic doesn't make any sense, they are trying to tie one thing into something completely unrelated.

"My husband abused me and my kids, because he is a drunk, now if I even SEE a man order a beer, he's an un-date-able Christian."

They assume that whatever guy even touches booze will be their future abusive spouse. That "one drink leads to another."

I said, "Only if they are weak-willed"

Couldn't disagree with you more. Most people don't set out to become addicted to substances. and, yes, alcohol can be addictive.

 

[Grandpa2390]

I don't think Christians are supposed to drink alcohol either (there is TONS of scripture to support this). However it's a very divisive topic on this message board and leads to much debate and even anger.

I agree. I do not believe it is a sin. The bible does prescribe the use of wine for water purification (the fermentation process produces an antibacterial acid), and as a painkiller.

But it advises against the use of it for recreational use. I guess you don't have to follow that advice, but you are taking a huge risk when there are plenty of "soft" beverages to choose from.

 

[Grandpa2390]

My own experience with alcoholic beverage, I would rather give the advice to avoid it completely!

It changed my personality PERMANENTLY even after I became sober for many years. There's definitely something quite devious in it.

I avoid it. I don't know how many drinks I can handle, and I don't want to find out. Last thing a Christian needs is to lose his/her ability to make good decisions.

I do believe Jesus drank alcohol, as drinking alcohol, in itself, isn't a sin or wrong. In a lot of cases, the ancients drank a lot of wine/mead/alcohol because water wasn't exactly safe to drink, but alcohol was. The only verse I've seen about it says "don't be drunk with wine" and not to give in to drunkenness, but a drink or two? Not a sin.

There's a difference between having a drink and being drunk. It's about excess.

Well since you can't put grape juice in a container in the hot desert void of refrigeration without it fermenting.
Yes everyone drink wine. But it was also very heavily diluted or often boiled down to a paste and then used as a grape juice concentrate. According to the Greeks, only the barbarians drink unmixed wine

 

[Grandpa2390]

Christ both made and drank wine. In fact, it was his very first miracle.

We are not to do anything in excess and to stay in our right minds. I can drink one glass of wine with my dinner and have no problem with drunkenness or even being tipsy. It is more sinful to overeat at that same meal because then we get into gluttony.

Alcohol also does have a place in health in that it vasodilates blood vessels (good for the heart) and an offer anesthesia or pain relief when necessary. It also is a fine disinfectant.

but it isn't a necessity. There are plenty of other foods/drinks that help your heart, and much better. there's a documentary on Netflix that discusses this.
In 1st world countries, the majority of us have access to clean water, so not necessary there.

Are you sinning with your glass of wine, I wouldn't say so. So don't think I am attacking you on that.
Just saying, don't tout the positives of wine as if that is why you are drinking it. You drink a glass of wine for the same reason I drink soda. Because you like the taste.
if those added minor benefits make you feel better about drinking wine, well, my soda have some natural juices and vitamins/minerals in it too, lol.

Sober...means "not intoxicated". Intoxication levels can be measured. It is why your medicines say don't use heavy machinery until you know how this medication affects you. Some tiny young woman might become intoxicated on one class of wine while a 250 lb construction worker wouldn't even feel a slight buzz.

If you know that you are no longer sober on a single alcoholic drink, then you are wise to not drink so you can stay sober.

and the legal limit is dropping as time passes. and we discover that less and less alcohol is required to affect us in enough ways.
Not saying your one glass of wine is intoxicating you to the point of no longer being "sober". just pointing out that we should not use legal limits as our basis for whether we have had enough.

I was "not sober" this past week. I had a surgical procedure where I was given anesthetic and most likely narcotic pain relievers. I was dizzy for about 24 hours. I suspect that God does not judge me for not trying to have the procedure without pain intervention. I didn't go to work


By this logic, we shouldn't eat because we risk becoming a glutton.

No because food is a necessity, but you should exercise self-control. something that can be lost with alcohol.

and for your pain relievers, you are perfectly ok. There is a verse in the book of Proverbs that prescribes the use of alcohol (and by extension I would say drugs) for use as a legitimate painkiller.
Alcohol was at one point such a drug... before science figured out how to make better ones from the same sources we get other bad drugs.

Where does it say that it is okay to be not sober for medicinal purposes?

Proverbs 31:6-7

Strong drink for those who are perishing and in extreme pain or sorrow... I would say that is medicinal purposes. painkiller and anti-depressant.

of course, as a nurse, you know we have better alternatives today