Ladies who won't date men who drink, even on occasion

[blackribbon]

I'm curious what you mean here.

People who "go out drinking" ... it is the planned activity and focus of the night. In comparision to someone who gets a single drink (or maybe two) with their meal and then they "go to the movies" ... or whatever.

 

[Grandpa2390]

Why? You can't have a glass of water or soda while she has a glass of wine with your dinner (do your beverages have to match)? Or are you talking about a woman who views drinking as its own activity? I am often out with people who drink one or two alcoholic beverages and I usually don't. I don't find it uncomfortable in any way. I also don't think they should have to refrain because I don't want to drink or am on a medication that makes drinking a no-no.

I couldn't. I can sit with my neighbors and friends who drink while they drink. Me with a root brewsky

But the object of my affection is different. I'm not saying you should agree with me, it's just the way it is for me

 

[redblue22]

I don't really get the whole having one shot of vodka for the night.

Wine is snooty.

 

[MehGuy]

I don't really get the whole having one shot of vodka for the night.

Wine is snooty.

Less chance of a hangover with vodka. Although not sure if one shot of anything would give much of a risk fir a hangover.. unless you're really dehydrated or something.. lol.

 

[redblue22]

Less chance of a hangover with vodka. Although not sure if one shot of anything would give much of a risk fir a hangover.. unless you're really dehydrated or something.. lol.

fewer carbs too.

 

[MehGuy]

fewer carbs too.

Maybe.. I'm not sure. Just when I'm drinking and want a little extra boost with minimal hangover risk, I drink a little vodka.

 

[Grandpa2390]

I don't really get the whole having one shot of vodka for the night.

yeah

Wine is snooty.

lol. I would probably feel a bit less sophisticated with my Welch's carbonated grape juice sitting across the table from my wife drinking red or white wine.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I would be pretty uncomfortable if my wife drank and I did not.

There's a lot of discomfort in this world that are a whole lot worse than that. Sometimes you just have to grin and bite the bullet.

It's pretty sad that it can be someone's deal breaker though. I want a Christian woman, but if I have a drink, it's game over for them. I think this is what drives the moderation types to dating outside of church.

I recall going on a hiking Meetup and came across this woman that said she's also a member of a Christian singles group, but when they go out, she says she's afraid to get a Margarita because everyone else is drinking water. lol.

I was like "get out now!" lol

 

[redblue22]

There's a lot of discomfort in this world that are a whole lot worse than that. Sometimes you just have to grin and bite the bullet.

It's pretty sad that it can be someone's deal breaker though. I want a Christian woman, but if I have a drink, it's game over for them. I think this is what drives the moderation types to dating outside of church.

I recall going on a hiking Meetup and came across this woman that said she's also a member of a Christian singles group, but when they go out, she says she's afraid to get a Margarita because everyone else is drinking water. lol.

I was like "get out now!" lol

Drinking seems to be pretty important to you.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

Drinking seems to be pretty important to you.

Not drinking seems pretty important to you. ;-)

 

[redblue22]

Not drinking seems pretty important to you. ;-)

What makes you think that?

 

[ThisIsMe123]

What makes you think that?

What makes you think that about me?

 

[redblue22]

What makes you think that about me?

See post 168. Maybe I have it wrong and drinking means little to you. I was just reflecting on what I came away with from the post and the thread as a whole.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

See post 168. Maybe I have it wrong and drinking means little to you. I was just reflecting on what I came away with from the post and the thread as a whole.

Well, it's not about drinking being important to someone, it's about using that as a specific dealbreaker is really throwing the baby out with the bath water. You could be passing up on genuinely good Christian prospects on that alone.

Like dismissing someone because they are too short, or whatever superficial reason. I think this is why we so many divorces or perpetually single people that they are looking for something they'll never find. Unrealistic expectations. It's really on them if they start complaining, "I can't find a decent guy/gal", and their friends and relatives keep telling them, "You need to lighten up on that laundry list of yours, then you wouldn't be single."

 

[Paulie079]

Well, it's not about drinking being important to someone, it's about using that as a specific dealbreaker is really throwing the baby out with the bath water. You could be passing up on genuinely good Christian prospects on that alone.

Like dismissing someone because they are too short, or whatever superficial reason. I think this is why we so many divorces or perpetually single people that they are looking for something they'll never find. Unrealistic expectations. It's really on them if they start complaining, "I can't find a decent guy/gal", and their friends and relatives keep telling them, "You need to lighten up on that laundry list of yours, then you wouldn't be single."

I wouldn't call not wanting a spouse who drinks regularly an unrealistic expectation. There is an abundance of people out there who don't drink or rarely do.

You could be passing up on genuinely good Christian prospects on that alone.

Likely, yes, but wouldn't there also be genuinely good Christian prospects who don't drink as well? The goal here is to be happy, not just be not single.

 

[Grandpa2390]

Well, it's not about drinking being important to someone, it's about using that as a specific dealbreaker is really throwing the baby out with the bath water. You could be passing up on genuinely good Christian prospects on that alone.

Like dismissing someone because they are too short, or whatever superficial reason. I think this is why we so many divorces or perpetually single people that they are looking for something they'll never find. Unrealistic expectations. It's really on them if they start complaining, "I can't find a decent guy/gal", and their friends and relatives keep telling them, "You need to lighten up on that laundry list of yours, then you wouldn't be single."

I don't think dismissing someone because the drink is the same as dismissing someone because they are short.

 

[ThisIsMe123]

I wouldn't call not wanting a spouse who drinks regularly an unrealistic expectation..

You are misquoting me. I didn't say "regularly" a said "occasionally" .

May have to move on with this post, people are already taking things out of context or not reading things fully.

 

[Paulie079]

You are misquoting me. I didn't say "regularly" a said "occasionally" .

May have to move on with this post, people are already taking things out of context or not reading things fully.

Evenso, remove "regularly" from my post and my statement still stands lol. By the way, it is possible to do something both regularly and occasionally, so I am not misquoting you.

 

[blackribbon]

Well, it's not about drinking being important to someone, it's about using that as a specific dealbreaker is really throwing the baby out with the bath water. You could be passing up on genuinely good Christian prospects on that alone.

Like dismissing someone because they are too short, or whatever superficial reason. I think this is why we so many divorces or perpetually single people that they are looking for something they'll never find. Unrealistic expectations. It's really on them if they start complaining, "I can't find a decent guy/gal", and their friends and relatives keep telling them, "You need to lighten up on that laundry list of yours, then you wouldn't be single."

Actually, even basing this on this thread alone, "drinking" or "not drinking" appears to not be superficial to most people. It appears to be an important part of a relationship status. I would not date anyone who considered "drinking" to be an activity or anyone who got drunk on any sort of regular basis (like more than once a year) to be someone I'd date. I also would not date someone who gambled on a regular basis.... not because the activity is a "sin" but both tend to indicate addictive behaviors that really are not good for a healthy relationship.

And honestly, all people are allowed to have their own "deal breakers" regardless if other people consider them significant. Those people just have to be willing to live within the limitations of that belief. It sounds like the women you are complaining about are willing to live with the limitations that a lot of men will be undateable. Funny, that you would even want to date someone who would lift this limit because that is the same as saying you are okay if people are wishywashy with their personal convictions toward their life. A woman who doesn't want to marry someone who drinks and decided to date someone who does knowily might also although being commited to fidelity, lift that limitation if a nice goodlooking guy wooed her and said that it shouldn't matter that you were dating (or married) to someone else because he wanted to date her even if she wasn't currently available to date. We are only as strong as our ability to live by our convictions.