God help me put into words what I "feel" in my heart in Jesus name, Amen.
I greatly fear even putting this out there, because I do not want anyone to think or feel they can adopt this thought as an excuse of suicide being ok, DO NOT.
I have been around many that have committed this act and been a testimony of what it seemed to be their reasons. And there are
multiple factors to make this equal. EXAMPLE: (Mary Ellen) Teenage girl, junior high, depressed, not popular, good grades, helps her mom clean, cook and take care of younger siblings, living in single trailer, mom works all the time, mom married a man (3rd husband), Mary Ellen found her father at the age of 5 hanging in the closet of her neat beautiful innocent life, sat on the floor crying for many hours until mama finally came home to the horror, moms 2nd husband sexually abused her when mom wasn't home, mom didn't believe her and called her trash, 3rd husband now drinks all the time sitting on the couch watching things that destroy a child's mind, doesn't work, and when mom is not home, he feels at liberty to fondle MaryEllens little brother and sister, she tries to stop him by offering her 13 yr old body to him, so that her siblings will not be in pain as she was at that age, MaryEllen feels like her father killing himself when she was 5 was her fault because she wasn't a good girl, so as she takes her own life on FB live she apologizes to her dead father for not being good, and she apologizes to everyone for being such a looser and making everyone sad, she records herself putting the rope in the tree and then kicks the bucket from neath her feet and sways back n forth in the summer evening until her mother comes home to see her dead body swaying.
Now I offer this picture, can I relate to this pain? No
Can God understand this girls pain? Yes
Was it fair? No
God knows the heart. God knows what people are going thru and I BELIEVE their death is accountable to others just as much as it is to her. We cannot judge, we do not know, many people die with secrets within that nobody could ever understand because we as a people did not parent them, teach them, extend a helping hand, comfort them, dry their tears, we failed them. We go about our busy lives and turn away from those that are hurting, so
I fully believe every second of our life is taken into account as to the lives we pass by every single day.
We do not know what Gods measuring stick looks like, His scales of mercy do not look like our scales. I cannot imagine the amount of pain a person must be enduring to take their own life, it has to be the deepest darkest pit. To want your pain to end that much. Let God decide the heaven or hell. But let us decide to reach out and stop slamming doors shut because we don't have time to care.
If He knows a sparrow hits the ground, He will definitely know if we passed by someone that needed us and
HE was trying to reach them thru us.