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Struggling with Masturbation

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thegame116

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Hey everyone, I'm new here and not even sure if I'm posting this in the right section but I'm still trying to figure all this out so just bear with me.

I'm going through a real struggle with masturbation, and its why I created this account. to maybe get a new perspective or some advice. I'm 20 yrs old, I started doing it when I was 16. And the only reason I did it once was just to see what it felt like. I knew what it was and heard my friends joke about it, but had never really tried, until one day i decided to try. I'd say its probably one of the top 5 biggest mistakes ive ever made in my life, as addiction set in pretty quick, and found myself not being able to quit. If I can keep myself busy and around friends I'm fine and dont feel urges. But thats the problem, is i cant be around my friends constantly as most of them have jobs. I've been tryng to get a job myself, but NO ONE will hire me. I cant even get a call back from fast food restaurants. So im still home alot and that is just trouble for me. I try to justify it. But i always feel bad. I feel like I'm a disappointment to God because i keep doing it. I know He loves me but I feel like I'm letting Him down and dishonoring Him. I don't really look at porn. I'd be lying if i said i hadn't ever done it. I used to look at it a lot, but ive actually stopped that for the most part. So thats not the problem. I just need some advice, some prayers. Maybe a pen pal so to speak, that i can talk to, so that I can just keep my mind off of it. But any thing will help. Thank you, God Bless you all.
 
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First of all, please know that despite what you're going through and these acts, though they are indeed horribly sinful, in God's sight you are clean through the blood of Christ. So don't get into the fear that you are in any way inferior to other Christians, or that God is your enemy.

Secondly, the answer to this kind of an addiction, and it is indeed an addiction (I read an article just a week ago, that found that the brain chemistry of people who have this problem, is the same as those who have major drug addictions!), is not going to be founded upon your own strength and will. It can only truly be fought with prayer. And my advice to you, would be, whenever you find yourself having this desire, enter immediately into prayer until the desire passes. Make a habit of making your thoughts holy, that is, think on scripture, study scripture, and busy yourself with prayer whenever you cannot do so with friends. In fact, that might be even superior to being with your friends. What is better than Biblical study?

I can't guarantee that your problem will go away, as through a miracle, by prayer. For some people this has happened. For other people, it hasn't happened, which God allows for His own good reasons; usually to keep you humble, or to drive you even further into prayer and dependence on Him.

But whatever happens, continue to draw closer to God in both prayer and study, and do not let yourself be so overcome by it that you think that God has ever left you.

God bless, and rest assured that you will be in my prayers.

Rom_8:28 And we know that all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose.
 
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SwordofPeace

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I will tell you I am 43 and when I was a teenager, there was MORTIFYING consequences to being caught masturbating. All the other kids shamed the hell out of another kid if they caught them masturbating. I remember at football camp, they just used the accusation of some kid masturbating to psychologically torture him til he had to move to Montana, then they continued to ridicule the kid even after he was gone, claiming he was in Montana sexually abusing sheep.

It was truly a Lord of the Flies thing, such sadistic non-violent savagery. It would probaly have been better if they had just attacked him and physically beat him up and then it had been over.

the kid who claimed he caught him said one day, he didn't really know if he was masturbating, but he just thought it would be fun to socially torment him. totally sick, but he and his friends were really popular.

That's how they display dominance, and make others afraid, by ridiculing your sexual acts and your sexuality. They themselves were all sexual sinners, too.

so mainly it's your fear of ridicule by Satan, but yeah, if you do it to excess it is bad for you, probably.

You just have to not think about sex. You have to control it in your mind first, the sexual fantasies, just become aware that when you are sexually fantasizing, you are already masturbating, the act of masturbation will surely follow. so whenever you are mentally masturbating, you are already masturbating, just stop it
 
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Digout

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Hey everyone, I'm new here and not even sure if I'm posting this in the right section but I'm still trying to figure all this out so just bear with me.

I'm going through a real struggle with masturbation, and its why I created this account. to maybe get a new perspective or some advice. I'm 20 yrs old, I started doing it when I was 16. And the only reason I did it once was just to see what it felt like. I knew what it was and heard my friends joke about it, but had never really tried, until one day i decided to try. I'd say its probably one of the top 5 biggest mistakes ive ever made in my life, as addiction set in pretty quick, and found myself not being able to quit. If I can keep myself busy and around friends I'm fine and dont feel urges. But thats the problem, is i cant be around my friends constantly as most of them have jobs. I've been tryng to get a job myself, but NO ONE will hire me. I cant even get a call back from fast food restaurants. So im still home alot and that is just trouble for me. I try to justify it. But i always feel bad. I feel like I'm a disappointment to God because i keep doing it. I know He loves me but I feel like I'm letting Him down and dishonoring Him. I don't really look at porn. I'd be lying if i said i hadn't ever done it. I used to look at it a lot, but ive actually stopped that for the most part. So thats not the problem. I just need some advice, some prayers. Maybe a pen pal so to speak, that i can talk to, so that I can just keep my mind off of it. But any thing will help. Thank you, God Bless you all.

I was slave to this bad habit right from very young age, and it continued even after marriage. I was able to overcome this for good after I accepted Jesus Christ as my personal Savior and began my fellowship with other believers with regular Bible studies, Sunday schooling and church attendance. Only the Lord can help you to get over this with your regular prayers. I pray for Godspeed!
 
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orangeness365

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I had a problem with it too. I stopped my senior year of high school. I tried stopping before that, but it took a long time. I prayed for God to make me stop, and the prayers worked. It also helped to try controlling my thoughts like has already been stated. If I started getting sexual thoughts I would just push them out of my mind, thinking instead about how disappointed God would be in me for it, and how embarrassing it is. I admit a couple days ago I did it again for a couple of minutes right after waking up from a hypersexual dream, but I did successfully completely stop for 6 years straight, and I plan to stay clean of it. But mostly prayer, just constant prayer whenever temptation comes up, and putting a poster of Jesus by my bed helped too.
 
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Alithis

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It's not a sin.

if your conscience condemns you not ....

but if you know its right to cease and you do not cease then to you it has become sin ..

thankfully we have a savior who has made it possible for us to BE FREE and sin no more ....
he did not come to tell us we can be free ..just to then leave us in bondage .. such faithless modernistic Christianity is just that - faithless . Either the lord jesus meant what he said .. or he was lying ..

i beleive he is truth and he meant what he said .
 
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chiwawa

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Yes, if you kept your body healthy and sound not for the sake of others to serve them and share with them but for seduction and selfishness!

so if you do anything for yourself (as in eating chocolate for your own pleasure as iambren said) it's a sin? You must have a very depressing, chocolateless life!
 
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Digout

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so if you do anything for yourself (as in eating chocolate for your own pleasure as iambren said) it's a sin? You must have a very depressing, chocolateless life!

My mom was very particular that we should avoid chocolates that would spoil our teeth. As long as I heeded to her advice, my teeth remained strong for decades. ["Small pleasures, but big painful future!"]
 
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stevenfrancis

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What makes masturbation so tough for someone to tackle is it's habitual nature. One gets "addicted" to it. But, believe it or not, by turning your life and will over to Jesus Christ, prayer, fasting, and regular confession, it can be conquered. Chastity can be quite sensationally pleasant as well. It's difficult to describe. It's an inner warmth created by knowing you're conforming to God's will. It's also a feeling of real freedom. The freedom to do right.
 
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stevenfrancis

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It's not a sin.

It is, if you're a Christian:
Here is how the universal Church explains it:

II. THE VOCATION TO CHASTITY

2337 Chastity means the successful integration of sexuality within the person and thus the inner unity of man in his bodily and spiritual being. Sexuality, in which man's belonging to the bodily and biological world is expressed, becomes personal and truly human when it is integrated into the relationship of one person to another, in the complete and lifelong mutual gift of a man and a woman.

The virtue of chastity therefore involves the integrity of the person and the integrality of the gift.

The integrity of the person

2338 The chaste person maintains the integrity of the powers of life and love placed in him. This integrity ensures the unity of the person; it is opposed to any behavior that would impair it. It tolerates neither a double life nor duplicity in speech.125

2339 Chastity includes an apprenticeship in self-mastery which is a training in human freedom. The alternative is clear: either man governs his passions and finds peace, or he lets himself be dominated by them and becomes unhappy.126 "Man's dignity therefore requires him to act out of conscious and free choice, as moved and drawn in a personal way from within, and not by blind impulses in himself or by mere external constraint. Man gains such dignity when, ridding himself of all slavery to the passions, he presses forward to his goal by freely choosing what is good and, by his diligence and skill, effectively secures for himself the means suited to this end."127

2340 Whoever wants to remain faithful to his baptismal promises and resist temptations will want to adopt the means for doing so: self-knowledge, practice of an ascesis adapted to the situations that confront him, obedience to God's commandments, exercise of the moral virtues, and fidelity to prayer. "Indeed it is through chastity that we are gathered together and led back to the unity from which we were fragmented into multiplicity."128

2341 The virtue of chastity comes under the cardinal virtue of temperance, which seeks to permeate the passions and appetites of the senses with reason.

2342 Self-mastery is a long and exacting work. One can never consider it acquired once and for all. It presupposes renewed effort at all stages of life.129 The effort required can be more intense in certain periods, such as when the personality is being formed during childhood and adolescence.

2343 Chastity has laws of growth which progress through stages marked by imperfection and too often by sin. "Man . . . day by day builds himself up through his many free decisions; and so he knows, loves, and accomplishes moral good by stages of growth."130

2344 Chastity represents an eminently personal task; it also involves a cultural effort, for there is "an interdependence between personal betterment and the improvement of society."131 Chastity presupposes respect for the rights of the person, in particular the right to receive information and an education that respect the moral and spiritual dimensions of human life.

2345 Chastity is a moral virtue. It is also a gift from God, a grace, a fruit of spiritual effort.132 The Holy Spirit enables one whom the water of Baptism has regenerated to imitate the purity of Christ.133

The integrality of the gift of self

2346 Charity is the form of all the virtues. Under its influence, chastity appears as a school of the gift of the person. Self-mastery is ordered to the gift of self. Chastity leads him who practices it to become a witness to his neighbor of God's fidelity and loving kindness.

2347 The virtue of chastity blossoms in friendship. It shows the disciple how to follow and imitate him who has chosen us as his friends,134 who has given himself totally to us and allows us to participate in his divine estate. Chastity is a promise of immortality.

Chastity is expressed notably in friendship with one's neighbor. Whether it develops between persons of the same or opposite sex, friendship represents a great good for all. It leads to spiritual communion.

The various forms of chastity

2348 All the baptized are called to chastity. The Christian has "put on Christ,"135 the model for all chastity. All Christ's faithful are called to lead a chaste life in keeping with their particular states of life. At the moment of his Baptism, the Christian is pledged to lead his affective life in chastity.

2349 "People should cultivate [chastity] in the way that is suited to their state of life. Some profess virginity or consecrated celibacy which enables them to give themselves to God alone with an undivided heart in a remarkable manner. Others live in the way prescribed for all by the moral law, whether they are married or single."136 Married people are called to live conjugal chastity; others practice chastity in continence:

There are three forms of the virtue of chastity: the first is that of spouses, the second that of widows, and the third that of virgins. We do not praise any one of them to the exclusion of the others. . . . This is what makes for the richness of the discipline of the Church.137
2350 Those who are engaged to marry are called to live chastity in continence. They should see in this time of testing a discovery of mutual respect, an apprenticeship in fidelity, and the hope of receiving one another from God. They should reserve for marriage the expressions of affection that belong to married love. They will help each other grow in chastity.

Offenses against chastity

2351 Lust is disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.

2352 By masturbation is to be understood the deliberate stimulation of the genital organs in order to derive sexual pleasure. "Both the Magisterium of the Church, in the course of a constant tradition, and the moral sense of the faithful have been in no doubt and have firmly maintained that masturbation is an intrinsically and gravely disordered action."138 "The deliberate use of the sexual faculty, for whatever reason, outside of marriage is essentially contrary to its purpose." For here sexual pleasure is sought outside of "the sexual relationship which is demanded by the moral order and in which the total meaning of mutual self-giving and human procreation in the context of true love is achieved."139

To form an equitable judgment about the subjects' moral responsibility and to guide pastoral action, one must take into account the affective immaturity, force of acquired habit, conditions of anxiety or other psychological or social factors that lessen, if not even reduce to a minimum, moral culpability.

2353 Fornication is carnal union between an unmarried man and an unmarried woman. It is gravely contrary to the dignity of persons and of human sexuality which is naturally ordered to the good of spouses and the generation and education of children. Moreover, it is a grave scandal when there is corruption of the young.

2354 Pornography consists in removing real or simulated sexual acts from the intimacy of the partners, in order to display them deliberately to third parties. It offends against chastity because it perverts the conjugal act, the intimate giving of spouses to each other. It does grave injury to the dignity of its participants (actors, vendors, the public), since each one becomes an object of base pleasure and illicit profit for others. It immerses all who are involved in the illusion of a fantasy world. It is a grave offense. Civil authorities should prevent the production and distribution of pornographic materials.

2355 Prostitution does injury to the dignity of the person who engages in it, reducing the person to an instrument of sexual pleasure. The one who pays sins gravely against himself: he violates the chastity to which his Baptism pledged him and defiles his body, the temple of the Holy Spirit.140 Prostitution is a social scourge. It usually involves women, but also men, children, and adolescents (The latter two cases involve the added sin of scandal.). While it is always gravely sinful to engage in prostitution, the imputability of the offense can be attenuated by destitution, blackmail, or social pressure.

2356 Rape is the forcible violation of the sexual intimacy of another person. It does injury to justice and charity. Rape deeply wounds the respect, freedom, and physical and moral integrity to which every person has a right. It causes grave damage that can mark the victim for life. It is always an intrinsically evil act. Graver still is the rape of children committed by parents (incest) or those responsible for the education of the children entrusted to them.

Chastity and homosexuality

2357 Homosexuality refers to relations between men or between women who experience an exclusive or predominant sexual attraction toward persons of the same sex. It has taken a great variety of forms through the centuries and in different cultures. Its psychological genesis remains largely unexplained. Basing itself on Sacred Scripture, which presents homosexual acts as acts of grave depravity,141 tradition has always declared that "homosexual acts are intrinsically disordered."142 They are contrary to the natural law. They close the sexual act to the gift of life. They do not proceed from a genuine affective and sexual complementarity. Under no circumstances can they be approved.

2358 The number of men and women who have deep-seated homosexual tendencies is not negligible. This inclination, which is objectively disordered, constitutes for most of them a trial. They must be accepted with respect, compassion, and sensitivity. Every sign of unjust discrimination in their regard should be avoided. These persons are called to fulfill God's will in their lives and, if they are Christians, to unite to the sacrifice of the Lord's Cross the difficulties they may encounter from their condition.

2359 Homosexual persons are called to chastity. By the virtues of self-mastery that teach them inner freedom, at times by the support of disinterested friendship, by prayer and sacramental grace, they can and should gradually and resolutely approach Christian perfection.
 
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stevenfrancis

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"Self-gratification is sin."


Yeah,like eating chocolate,taking a good swim,accepting a backrub....horrible,terrible,sinful stuff!!!

Well.........it's not like any of those things. None of the things you mention in here are sins. Masturbation isn't a sin because it's pleasurable, like chocolate or backrubs. It's a sin, because it violates one's chastity and damages the integrity of the human person. Chocolate and swimming don't do that, (I hope not anyway). ;-)
 
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iambren

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"It's a sin, because it violates one's chastity"

I don't by this either. You are defining the word "chastity" in a Catholic way to suit your purposes. That doesn't make it so.

So what if you rub your own back because it itches or feels good--is your "integrity" lost to yourself....no. Masturbation is pleasurable (which you conceded) and it is sexual ie no harm,unless you want to declare human sexuality is somehow inherently sinful.
 
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Alithis

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this has been debated oh so often ..
its twisted into ambiguity then excuses .. hmm the homosexual advocates use all the same arguments .
its sexual immorality .. - its sin .

some say, but they do it without lust ....
personally i do not believe they are being honest , but thats IMO .

some try to say eating choclate is pleasurable and therefore doing something pleasurable cannot be sin - but the eating of food is pleasurable for justifiable reasons until it become gluttony ..it is not sin to enjoy chocolate, but it is sin to enjoy so much of it you stuff yourself full of it .

scratching your back is for the motive of dealing to the itch and the itch, once gone, does not demand or control further actions without the motive of the itch - but sexual immorality does and it has no satisfying point .. once satisfied it demands again endlessly.. it has no end point -it cannot be satisfied so it becomes a merciless master .

sex for the use of mutual enjoyment and procreation in marriage is proper and justifiable in that setting .. but self administrative is for self ..it does not feed the body ,it does not mutual satisfy another -it has no justifiable motive .

it is simply safer to call it out for what it is and take on the apostles GODLY advice .. avoid it flee it ..it is sexual immorality and it is a sin against your own body .

as for the catholic veiw point - those posts should be removed from the baptist forum
 
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Alithis

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it is not the act as a singular sin we are warned against .. though it is that also .

it is where such things lead a persona life ..look further , think deeper ,..reason together with the lord and be cautious what you advice people -better to advice folks away from that which can enslave them rather then towards it
 
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