S.a.h.m.

[faithmom]

I am with you, but THAT WOULD BE INTERFERING WITH ANOTHER PERSON'S PARENTING.

And that was my point. When it is physical, as parents, we may have to intervene against the child who is hurting ours if the other parents won't. You may have to go beyond just removing the child, and tell the other to stop or there will be consequences, or your own child won't have the confidence that they can count on you to protect them from people who hurt them.

(BTW...you can't actully do that in our state against a child that age, 9. You can file a suit for an injury claim, but the juvie courst have much bigger badder kids overloading the system. A judge would be annoyed to find this in their court. Methamphetamine in teens has our state's system gridlocked.).

 

[marezee]

That is just crazy!

and for you!

I guess it's in the Lord's hands.

But how will you keep your daughter safe from that boy?

 

[faithmom]

And now you know part of why I don't want to go on these family vacations...

Since that time, I have puposefully kept them (both daughters have been picked on by him....I'm sure you can see why his younger sister hits - it's her only means of defending herself) from being involved in exactly the same activity, and I make sure I am there. When he worked his way toward them, I stared him down. He knew I was the one who gave her the "santa" idea, and that I was "onto" him.

Since then, I told hubby that if he ever hurts our daughters again, and if hubby won't take a stronger stand in his family (which he is trying, but it's a slow change...he's had 40 years of being controlled by 5 domineering sisters and a mother and a father who goes along with anything), and if I can't find a way to keep our kids out of this, I will for the first time ever, teach my daughters self defense and give them permission to use it. No different than I would if they are being attacked on the streets when they are on their own some day.

I also HATE that my 7 year old son sees other boys being allowed to behave this way. It doesn't teach him a very good example, does it.

Not all of the kids in the family are allowed to act that way, but if one of the sisters chooses to leave the situation, or reprimand her sister's kids on behalf of her own, that is o.k.....but it isn't if hubby and I do. Hubby has been scapegoated for years, and it is just a sick part of the family dynamic.

He knows this would not be a good family outcome. We'll see how it goes this spring, it will have been the first time we're "trapped" somewhere we can't get out of in 2 years.

Over-all, I would just rather not be there. But, that means I am keeping the kids from spending time with their grandparents, aunts and uncles.....not all of whome are hurting my kids.

 

[faithmom]

Anyway, sorry we went so far off track on this.

1. I do agree, that no one should be interfering with how we are raising, repimanding, teaching or disciplining our kids. But I am a parent who teaches my kids to respect others, and am on them anyway when they are out of line.

2. I do think when you are caring for someone elses child, and they are not there, we do what we can to stick to how they parent, but their kids also have to respect our rules when we care for them....and an extra glass of water is not out of bounds, LOL! I agree with you mare, if it's under my roof, and under my watch, it is my rules.

3. No we shouldn't tell other people's kids what to do when the parents are there, but IMHO the exception is when they are harming our own children, the parents won't do anything, and our children are looking to us for help because it is beyond their power to make it stop (unless they turn to voilence themselves).

Sorry on the earlier rant, I just have lived through the "exception" to the rule, and felt it important to point out how our kids feel if we don't intervene for them.

 

[marezee]

rant away...no appologies necessary!
faith...i feel for you and your family situation!

and teaching your daughters and son self-defense is a great idea!

 

[faithmom]

They've wanted to take karate for years (I took it in my teens and 20s). I told them that they can learn when they show me they are mature enough to end fights rather than start them with each other. We are nearly there.

Karate has the potential to be deadly, and I don't feel young kids have the judgement and forsight to know what it means to really injure or even kill someone.

So, if needed, I'll start them with the basics (Make a tight fist with your fingers curled into your palm, and your thumb on the outside so that you don't break your thumb if you have to hit. Your thigh muscle is the larges and strongest on your limbs, it's excellent for pushing someone away if you get your foot on them, and also the reason that a side kick is easier than a round kick and stronger than a front kick. You jaw muscle is the most powerful in your entire body, biting is valid self defense to save your life. If someone has you by the wrists, you can often knock one of their hands loose by smashing their own wrist into the other using your shoulder, etc - a basic self defense class would be better, but they are only offered to adults here through our PD).

Those are basic...but it is so scarey to think of a child knowing how to smash a person's nose into their skull or collapse their wind pipe...all of which they can learn in karate. That is why I hold off on enrolling them this young.

 

[marezee]

that is true faithmom!
but Karate also teaches self-discipline, and when to use force, not just how.
But you are right, the younger ones sometimes cannot discern between how much force to use and when.

 

[faithmom]

Most of all, it bothers me to think that I have to teach my kids how to correctly form a fist because of a cousin...they actually have more personal power in school to control a bully then they do in my hubby's own family. Sad, very sad.

Yes, I can remove them (sometimes), yes, I can teach them to defend themselves with words and actions (again, sometimes), but to actually change the hearts of people who don't see voilence for what it is...that takes God.

 

[marezee]

true again faithmom!
I do believe you are teaching your children to be good Christians!! hang in there!

 

[Melbelle]

Yesterday Seth had cho-cho train madness

 

[marezee]

wow melly! that's an awesome train!
I'll bet Seth was in his glory!

 

[Melbelle]

wow melly! that's an awesome train!
I'll bet Seth was in his glory!

Yeah he keeps bugging to get it back out, but its a pain to keep on the track

I am getting ready now to take Seth to the doctor, he has eczema really bad, and we finaly got insurance, so we are taking him, and maybe they can do an allergy test and get him on some meds that will do more then just take the itch out, cus well it looks terriable.

 

[Lena75]

My son Isaiah just saw these pics...he would LOVE that train!

 

[whitebeaches]

will be praying for your son red neck melly. Hope he feels better.

 

[marezee]

Yeah he keeps bugging to get it back out, but its a pain to keep on the track

I am getting ready now to take Seth to the doctor, he has eczema really bad, and we finaly got insurance, so we are taking him, and maybe they can do an allergy test and get him on some meds that will do more then just take the itch out, cus well it looks terriable.

hugs and prayers for you and Seth, Melly hon!!!

Praise God for health insurance!!!

 

[CoolMom6]

I like the puppies in the photo.
What kind are they?

 

[marezee]

all you SAHMs!!
How's everyone's day going?
i have to run soon to get Stephen from preschool.
It seems our day is never done!

 

[faithmom]

At least we're not bored. Right?

/me says this as she collapses on the floor for a nap.

 

[Melbelle]

I like the puppies in the photo.
What kind are they?

They are mixed between Pit Bull and Bluetic, I call them Bluebulls

 

[faithmom]

Oh-my-goodness! THAT is too funny, Red!