I recently wrote a short letter in response to a question from a Christian. The short letter is about confession. I think it may be useful for some in this forum too, if they wonder why one ought to confess and to whom. It is only a short letter, so do not expect an encyclopaedic treatment of the subject. Here it is, in a modified form for a modified readership.
The main purpose of confession is to receive both reconciliation with the Church and God as well as to receive advice and assistance for dealing with the serious sins that you wish to confess.
- One seeks reconciliation with the Church if one's sins have caused harm within or to the Church such as a public scandal or harm of some kind to some within the Church.
- One seeks reconciliation with God because every sin is offensive to God's justice, truth, and needs God's mercy and grace to be forgiven.
- One receives assistance and advice from one's confessor, who God enables to perform this office by means of his grace and the gift of wisdom so that the confessor can help in practical ways, those who struggle with sins that cause them grief and guilt.
Often these are sins of the passions, lust, adultery, or adulterous thoughts if one is married. But other serious matters also cause Christians to feel a need for help and confession.
So, Catholics view confession as serving two primary purposes,
- the first is to unburden the conscience by discussing the sins that are troubling the Christian,
- and the second is to receive advice and help to stop sinning in the same way so that the conscience will not be troubled again by committing the same sins over and over again.
A priest is involved primarily to advise and assist but also to represent God when absolution is given from one's sins.
Unconfessed sins will not condemn one to hell if one is repentant and has sought God's forgiveness and help to deal with them. It is not God's desire for any people to perish, he wishes all to repent and live (see
2 Peter 3:9).
So, confess your sins to God first and immediately, and then seek out an opportunity to confess to a priest as soon as practical.
If you have sinned but forgotten, then pray to God that he will help you to recognise your faults and sins so that you can confess them to him and receive grace to cleans your conscience (see Psalm 51).
Lastly, catechumens may confess to a priest, they are expected to do so before baptism as part of the process of conversion.
And no, a convert is not expected to write a list of every sin he/she ever committed and confess each of them individually, that would take a very long time and the priest, being only a man, would soon tire and need rest. It is better to confess those sins that produce grief and guilt in your own mind and conscience and then to ask for help from God to search your soul and cleans your conscience from hidden guilt. Psalm 51 is helpful to read for this purpose.