Decision

I had plans for tomorrow. But that is precisely the problem. I had plans. God was not entered into the equation. Exodus 20:3 reads "You shall have no other gods before Me." It seems to be a simple command. How hard can it be to only worship Him? Well, harder than most would think. See, when anything comes between God and me (including friends, family, music, tv, books, whatever), it has become a "god." Anything that inhibits our service to Him is a god. That doesn't mean we pray to it or anything... it just means that it has taken God's place as #1 in our lives, whether we admit it or not. Something like this has happened recently in my life. I prayed about it a lot, but chose not to listen to what God was telling me because it felt good. To have a friend who is there no matter what is an amazing feeling. Until the feeling is allowed to dominate. Every where I go, I think about this issue. My prayers are half-hearted because I don't really want to hear what God is saying. At church, there is a quiet time to examine our hearts. I am afraid to do so because it means giving up my love. I push God aside while telling myself that it isn't really Him telling me these things. Tonight at youth group the pastor brought up Romans 12:1-2. "Do not be conformed to this world, but be transformed by the renewing of your mind..." Renewing of my mind. That resonated within me and so, reluctantly, I had a little arguement with God. You know those times when God is speaking to you, and you just can't ignore it? Well it happened. He was speaking to me, and I was trapped into a place where no matter how much I wanted to run, I had to listen. This led me to a decision that hurts, but is the right thing nonetheless. I tried to argue that I didn't have the strength to go through with it. He told me that He would give me the strength. So, I made the decision.

Never forget my love, feeble as it may be. My prayers are there for you.

I may close this account without warning sometime if things get too difficult to handle. Please be praying for me to have the strength to do as God has asked.