• Starting today August 7th, 2024, in order to post in the Married Couples, Courting Couples, or Singles forums, you will not be allowed to post if you have your Marital status designated as private. Announcements will be made in the respective forums as well but please note that if yours is currently listed as Private, you will need to submit a ticket in the Support Area to have yours changed.

  • CF has always been a site that welcomes people from different backgrounds and beliefs to participate in discussion and even debate. That is the nature of its ministry. In view of recent events emotions are running very high. We need to remind people of some basic principles in debating on this site. We need to be civil when we express differences in opinion. No personal attacks. Avoid you, your statements. Don't characterize an entire political party with comparisons to Fascism or Communism or other extreme movements that committed atrocities. CF is not the place for broad brush or blanket statements about groups and political parties. Put the broad brushes and blankets away when you come to CF, better yet, put them in the incinerator. Debate had no place for them. We need to remember that people that commit acts of violence represent themselves or a small extreme faction.
  • We hope the site problems here are now solved, however, if you still have any issues, please start a ticket in Contact Us

Your last date

sundewgrower

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Nov 6, 2014
1,931
624
somewhere
✟155,350.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Engaged
Actually, it sounds like you are picky. Ask a girl out who weighs more than you...just coffee, you don't have to marry her or even kiss her. Learn to talk to girls on dates. And judging a girl by her age? you have no idea what that 18 or 19 year old girl who is actually working has been through. She might be more mature than you are just because life has forced her to be. Like I tell my daughter, sometimes eating is just about fueling your body and you don't have to "like" everything on your plate. Stop deciding who you are "attracted to" and start just interacting with women on "friend dates". I mean, you are willing to fly halfway around the world to go on a "friend date", why not try the same thing in your own backyard.
Perhaps it's how I was raised, but I'm told not to involve people on that level unless there is merit to do so.
Holding conversations, and stuff is something I really enjoy. For age they're very immature on island from my experience compared to off island, but I'll talk, and if they seem interesting I'd consider. Now you're making me wish I would have asked for a number on one girl I briefly chatted with ahaha!
Your food example is excellent..
I understand your point, and that's why I'll talk to anybody I bump into.
I've got a less close friend on a neighboring island I wish to visit first, so I may give it a shot, and take it for what it is.
Overall, here in Hawai'i the culture is very different and 90% of the people who move here leave in three years. It's because things are handled very different. Merely talking to somebody is a big deal here, and so a date can be a lot more than what you may bargain for.
 
Upvote 0

blackribbon

Not a newbie
Dec 18, 2011
13,388
6,673
✟205,401.00
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Perhaps it's how I was raised, but I'm told not to involve people on that level unless there is merit to do so.
Holding conversations, and stuff is something I really enjoy. For age they're very immature on island from my experience compared to off island, but I'll talk, and if they seem interesting I'd consider. Now you're making me wish I would have asked for a number on one girl I briefly chatted with ahaha!
Your food example is excellent..
I understand your point, and that's why I'll talk to anybody I bump into.
I've got a less close friend on a neighboring island I wish to visit first, so I may give it a shot, and take it for what it is.
Overall, here in Hawai'i the culture is very different and 90% of the people who move here leave in three years. It's because things are handled very different. Merely talking to somebody is a big deal here, and so a date can be a lot more than what you may bargain for.

How do you know this? I think you make it into a bigger deal than it is. I don't believe that Hawaiians are that much different than the rest of the world. My cousin married one and my brother was stationed there for a couple years. Hawaii does has its own culture just like other areas of the country have their own unique cultures...but we all watch the same tv and read the same books. Is it really normal for men to not date women until they actually meet the woman they will marry? How you ask a woman out makes all the difference in the world. And your inexperience means that you are not quite as mature as you believe you are. I don't think you realize how arrogant you sound...when you talk about how mature you are and how immature everyone else is. At 23, most of my friends were engaged and/or starting their careers. At 19, they did know what they wanted....others were completely clueless. I can't believe that the world and people have changed that much. (and please understand I am not talking down to you...I admire a lot of things about you but you are really very young still and it is more obvious than I think you realize).
 
Upvote 0

sundewgrower

Well-Known Member
Site Supporter
Nov 6, 2014
1,931
624
somewhere
✟155,350.00
Country
United States
Gender
Male
Faith
Non-Denom
Marital Status
Engaged
How do you know this? I think you make it into a bigger deal than it is. I don't believe that Hawaiians are that much different than the rest of the world. My cousin married one and my brother was stationed there for a couple years. Hawaii does has its own culture just like other areas of the country have their own unique cultures...but we all watch the same tv and read the same books. Is it really normal for men to not date women until they actually meet the woman they will marry? How you ask a woman out makes all the difference in the world. And your inexperience means that you are not quite as mature as you believe you are. I don't think you realize how arrogant you sound...when you talk about how mature you are and how immature everyone else is. At 23, most of my friends were engaged and/or starting their careers. At 19, they did know what they wanted....others were completely clueless. I can't believe that the world and people have changed that much. (and please understand I am not talking down to you...I admire a lot of things about you but you are really very young still and it is more obvious than I think you realize).
I'm not used to how direct you are but you're caring so I'm fine with it.
Placed it into quotes so I don't clutter the thread further.

Basically I've been here for 13 years, I'm the minority, and it's not easy here.
I am too tired (not to sound pathetic here but I've been writing essays on intercultural communication for college) now to expound but lets say if I explained to you or most they wouldn't believe how bad it can be here. There is a reason why nobody lasts here for more than a few years.
As my father jokes if you hear "f__king" haloe he will answer saying "this ____ Haloe?". Or sometimes it's blank blank haloe, oh not you it's so and so one. I'm not a pity party though and refuse to be that way.
The nicest locals are those (or parents) who left the island and traveled then returned. They're simply awesome.. Also, not many my age hang around like mentioned, and overall the single pool is really bad out here regardless of who they are.

I do like different cultures and races. Have no issue with that, heck I should have asked that nice girl at UPS for her number, and had a nice coffee with her at Starbucks which is 150 feet away (probably not Christian but a low key chat sounds nice and maybe I could have invited her to church dangit!). Maybe I'll trail down there the same time I saw her last, and purposely ship a package lol! She was I think a bit Hawaiian but mostly Japanese... Honestly, I find the mainland US weird, and the culture isn't the easiest for me to get on occasion. It's not "that" different but trust me it's not very normal either.

Realistically it's not that way but usually more weight is placed into conversations, and it's harder to just chat since they think you're going to hit on them compared to when I was in Texas for all of October. I lack experience though, am visually impaired, and so it's not my strong suit in some areas. I don't believe I'm mature in some aspects although I'm ahead in others as a compromise. I just handle things the best I can, treat somebody well, be honest, have their interests in mind also, and be the best guy I can while bugging others with questions to see what I did wrong. My lack of maturity means I get upset about pitiful things, have improper expectations, and am not even keeled although I don't take it out on anybody else or try to mistreat anyone in the process of my learning experiences. I do appreciate your admiration. I'm trying to be really humble here and write well. I'd like more responsibility or life advancements as running a business that I started, and doing college gets boring... Also, I'm a little spent so it's not great writing lol
 
Last edited:
Upvote 0

Miss Spaulding

Virtus semper viridis
Jan 6, 2005
21,929
7,168
The Tropics
✟125,733.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Private
Where did you go and what did you do on your last date?

Last date? ...What is this 'last date' you speak of? I know not of such a thing.

Haha. My date record is still sitting idle at 0.
 
  • Like
Reactions: sundewgrower
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
Where did you go and what did you do on your last date?

for this thread, 'date' is defined as going out with someone of the opposite sex.

We went out to Taco Bell, and then visited a haunted house at the fair grounds. It was pretty entertaining :)
 
  • Like
Reactions: Cute Tink
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
ooh. we don't have taco bells in nz but recently a lot of mexican restaurants have been opening up for some reason. Funny thing is I don't really see an increase in mexican immigrants....

Taco Bell isn't my favorite but I had my wisdom teeth out and was looking for something soft. Turns out their soft burritos weren't quite soft enough :(
 
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I was too scared to go to the haunted house we have here (called 'spookers') it was a former psychiatric hospital. so, I didn't want to visit in case it triggered memories...lol.
I'd never done one before so we went just to say we did. We are looking for more things to get out and do that are affordable and don't involve just sitting around.
 
Upvote 0

SnowyMacie

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2011
17,008
6,087
North Texas
✟133,159.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
In Relationship
I'd never done one before so we went just to say we did. We are looking for more things to get out and do that are affordable and don't involve just sitting around.

I worked in one in college, so I kind of want to go to one now to see how scary it is or if I can figure it out since I did guiding one year, and so would know when anything was coming.
 
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
I worked in one in college, so I kind of want to go to one now to see how scary it is or if I can figure it out since I did guiding one year, and so would know when anything was coming.

There were three of them in the one I went to. The one with the hospital was entertaining, the motel had great props, and the circus one wasn't impressive at all.
 
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
bike rides are good.
Also, doing ministry together like helping out at community meals or the garden.

or be a tourist in your own town...

We don't have bikes. We are working on the ministry thing because we are at a new church. We want to get to know the congregation before we step in as volunteers, but we have been going to the church events together. The haunted house was part of the tourist thing.
 
Upvote 0

SnowyMacie

Well-Known Member
Apr 12, 2011
17,008
6,087
North Texas
✟133,159.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Anglican
Marital Status
In Relationship
There were three of them in the one I went to. The one with the hospital was entertaining, the motel had great props, and the circus one wasn't impressive at all.

You can really only do so much with clowns, and it's something that only works if someone is actually scared of clowns. If no one in the group is scared of clowns, it's sort of like "okay, whatever." Last year, I was in the clown room and just stood there silently and followed the group while the others were more in their face and such.
 
Upvote 0

Bumble Bee

Disciplemaker
Nov 2, 2007
27,700
5,412
35
Held together by Jesus and coffee
✟727,808.00
Country
United States
Gender
Female
Faith
Christian
Marital Status
Married
Politics
US-Others
or walks. lol.
oh cool what kind of ministry are you doing together?

We will be doing children's ministry together when we get settled. He would like to start working with the youth too, but there isn't much need for that in our church at the moment. I'm also praying about joining the worship team.
 
Upvote 0