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[Eire_Frae]

its so good to know that im not the only christian who slef-harms, it makes me feel so guilty that i am a christian and i abuse the body he gave me. I started to self harm when i become depressed and also bulimic. Im glad to say im not half as depressed as i was God has been so good to me but i still cant seem to give him my whole life. Sometimes i just cant come into Gods presence even though i know its the best place to be. I feel so selfish and dont understand why i do it when there has been nothing major in my life that would give me a decent reason. I was doing so well for about a month or two but the last two weeks have been like stepping back in time and i keep avoiding God. But I know how amaxing our God is and i want him to be the center of my life and i want to leave self harm and bulimia behind me but when i dont have cuts i feel like i miss them even if i dont want to cut myself, its like when i forget to wear my watch or something feels like im missing something. I know how weird that sounds. Not sure what im trying to achieve by writing all this maybe just trying to sort it all out in my own head which feels pretty full at the moment. Over the last few weeks God has really been working in my life showing me so much of his charachter and now i feel like iv thrown it back in his face the last week as iv messed up pretty badly.

 

[TheMainException]

My dear beloved sister....you are never alone in this. I know those feelings....I don't want to self harm....I don't want to burn myself.... but suddenly, I feel compelled to do it...because I feel like something isn't there, that there should be something there, that I'm not right, that it's a part of who I am, that it gives me something to cover up, something to be a part of, even if it is something bad..........I know it. I understand what you say....I think that some of us are bound to be pained forever....but it will get easier to handle. Have you told anyone? Have you confided in an older friend about this? I think it would be a good idea. A good friend of mine, a guy around 35, has helped me considerably.....(take note, I'm 18, not too close to 35)...and I'm a girl....but he helped me...he supported me...he finally understands after a few years now....cause although he helped me, he really didn't understand it all until recently. I really suggest talking to someone who can simply sit with you and pray with you. Also...rubber bands helped me a bit. I know what works for many people...and I know the right steps, but actually doing them is hard, I know. My love to you sister.

 

[NinadeDios777]

hey, i've felt like that sometimes. *hugs* its not so easy to get over.... try praying about it, even if you don't feel like it.