Would you marry a woman who was a former stripper or X-rated star if she turned into a Christian ?

[Paidiske]

So Christ's forgiveness doesn't cover child molesters? Is their value degraded forever?

It's a completely different scenario, and an utterly ridiculous comparison.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Very few women marry for love no matter how loud they spout that they do love him.

Yes but your looking at American, or Western, culture in general...

As a Christian, when your looking for a wife, your looking at the Church - and the single woman there.

If your church looks like the world, your in the wrong church.

Seriously, if your church is pumping out women identical to the world change churches immediately. Keep looking til you find people that are the Church.

They will have ALL come OUT of the world (aka many will have "pasts") but they won't be the world now...

Take me for instance, I'm a former Muslim - (THAT takes a special man! Lol..) now a child of God.

All of us, in one way or another, came out of the world, the Babylonian system so to speak.

 

[QueenOfTheUnknown]

How can we expect Jesus to forgive our past mistakes if we don't do the same with others? Aren't we called to follow into Jesus footsteps? To live as he lived, and love as he loved?

“I, even I, am he who blots out​

your transgressions, for my own sake,​

and remembers your sins no more.​

Isaiah 43:25​

​

Jesus not only forgives us, but welcomes us into a relationship with him, into his ministry. He doesn't say things like "hey yes i forgive you but i wouldn't want to be around you" or "you're not the kind of person i want to have in my ministry" so... yeah. I myself, as a woman, wouldn't want other men to judge me for my past sins, ESPECIALLY if I have repented and I'm converted. If Jesus doesn't treat me like that, why would you, also a sinner, do the same? The devil looooves to convince people that some sins are bigger than others, but that's just a lie. To God, all sins are the same, that's why he has the grace to forgive any kind of sin. You are a pedophile? If you repent and seek him out, God will forgive you. You lied to your mother about something serious? God will forgive that too, and have a place for you in heaven.

Denying this is denying Jesus's nature and the fact that he "makes all things new"

“Therefore if ANY man be in Christ, he is a NEW CREATURE: old things are passed away; behold, all things are become new." (2 Corinthians 5:17)

She is no longer a stripper. She was born anew, she is a new creature.

THIS. Amen and Amen!!

 

[Divide]

Yes but your looking at American, or Western, culture in general...

As a Christian, when your looking for a wife, your looking at the Church - and the single woman there.

If your church looks like the world, your in the wrong church.

Seriously, if your church is pumping out women identical to the world change churches immediately. Keep looking til you find people that are the Church.

They will have ALL come OUT of the world (aka many will have "pasts") but they won't be the world now...

Take me for instance, I'm a former Muslim - (THAT takes a special man! Lol..) now a child of God.

All of us, in one way or another, came out of the world, the Babylonian system so to speak.

I am an American and live in the States but I am not only speaking of western culture. I have lived all over the states and met a lot of different people from other cultures. Men and women are very much the same around the world. Some are good, some are bad. I've never found a Wife in church either.

I understand what you're saying and agree, we all have come out of the world, and maybe the prospective wife came out from the world also.

Do I marry her because she said she has come out of the world? I cant do that, most women lie. Most. How is a man supposed to trust his (fiance) if her prior industry was built on her lies? How can I trust that girl?
I love her as a Sister in Christ. I don't judge her. I forgive her for her past and do not hold it against her.
But how shall I trust her?

If she was a sex woeker then it's a good bet that she was on drugs too. Would that enhance her trustworthyness or degrade it? You can love someone and not trust them. I havent seen any scriptures that says, forgive the girl and trust her always because of her words...???

 

[Sabertooth]

If she was a sex woeker then it's a good bet that she was on drugs too. Would that enhance her trustworthyness or degrade it? You can love someone and not trust them. I havent seen any scriptures that says, forgive the girl and trust her always because of her words...???

You are talking about a hypothetical person.
God can give you discernment when there is a real woman involved (if those are her issues).
If she has a different set of issues, you will need God's grace/discernment to face those instead.

 

[Divide]

You are talking about a hypothetical person.
God can give you discernment when there is a real woman involved (if those are her issues).
If she has a different set of issues, you will need God's grace/discernment to face those instead.

I'll buy that. So maybe it was by the grace of God that I knew to tell that girl no?

Can't women be expected to suck it up when they get said no too? What does think when she hears no? Oh no that is offensive to me because everybody should want me.....That's weird.

I have a theory: Every woman wants every man to want her, even if she does not want them. I've asked over a dozen women if this is so, and 99% of the time they say yes. The other one lied is my belief.

 

[Sabertooth]

Can't women be expected to suck it up when they get said no too? What does think when she hears no? Oh no that is offensive to me because everybody should want me.....That's weird.

I have a theory: Every woman wants every man to want her, even if she does not want them. I've asked over a dozen women if this is so, and 99% of the time they say yes...

Here is a very telling lyric from I Enjoy Being A Girl (The Flower Drum Song, 1958),
"When I hear a complementary whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea
I turn and I glower and I bristle
But I'm happy to know the whistle's meant for me...!"

 

[RDKirk]

I'll buy that. So maybe it was by the grace of God that I knew to tell that girl no?

Can't women be expected to suck it up when they get said no too? What does think when she hears no? Oh no that is offensive to me because everybody should want me.....That's weird.

I have a theory: Every woman wants every man to want her, even if she does not want them. I've asked over a dozen women if this is so, and 99% of the time they say yes. The other one lied is my belief.

You have said more than once that you believe women lie.

If you're starting with that proposition, then there is no woman for you.

 

[Divide]

What mentality she had ?

The mentality of deception. They've been lying for so long that it is a part of them and she may be trying to be a Christian but will probably also have the little white lie syndrome. Oh that's just a little white lie so that dont matter...

How could a man build a marriage upon that mentality? Most women lie about things that they dont even have to lie about and for stupid reasons.
A man and wife being 100% truthful with each other is the only way that the marriage has any chance whatsoever.

For instance, she messed up and did something wrong. Maybe not a adulterous mistake but she doesnt want to upset me so she lies anyway. Then I waste time trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist. She needs to be truthful even if it is a bad thing. For two reasons. 1. No time is wasted on rabbit trails built out of lies. 2. Even if it is bad, at least they will know that what comes out of her (or his) mouth is something they can count on.

Even if she isnt working the industry anymore she will (probably) still justify a lie/rabbit trail for the small thing she did. Maybe she she splurged too much on herself and spent too much money creating a shortage. How many girls would be like, well I'm sorry but I spent too much....That's not how most women are. They will lie lie lie anyway. So the honesty factor turns out to be a larger issue than her SW trade in her past. If I'm not able to trust her implicitly why would I consider marrying her?

You ever make picked eggs? They turn purple throughout from being soaked in beet juice. The color purple is the residue that it leaves on her soul & spirit from soaking in the SW trade. If she throws off that coat, is she still purple on the inside? You bet she is!
Women shouldnt take offense to being rejected sometimes. So what? There's 4 Billion more fish in the sea. Aint the mans fault if she has baggage from who she used to be. It was her prior poor choices that did this to her, not the man!

There's all sorts of warning signs of this sort of soul damage in a lady even if she is now Born Again and Baptised. When I got born again I wasnt instantly someone else.

Romans
12 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.../KJV

By their Fruits you will know them. How do they act? How do they talk? Do you ever catch her studying her Bible? Does she drink? How does she carry herself? These are good questions and for anyone with eyes to see can see who she is right now. Most times I can tell with a single glance their way if they are what I consider to be wife material. If the sweet young lady has had delieverance and was very dedicated to the Lord now....it will show on her. If she's the same old bad girl, that will show too. How many times have people said, I shoulda listened to my instincts!

Is she honest about little things? If a girl will be dishonest about little things then she will be dishonest about big things. I wish her well but I have to go now, lol!
(The dancer girl I dated who would float all over town, I left her sitting in a McDonalds and slipped out the side door!)

 

[Divide]

Here is a very telling lyric from I Enjoy Being A Girl (The Flower Drum Song, 1958),
"When I hear a complementary whistle
That greets my bikini by the sea
I turn and I glower and I bristle
But I'm happy to know the whistle's meant for me...!"

Honest girl! And that's ok because I've even joked that Women are God's greatest creation and besides women have a different lot in life here on earth. (They got the short end of the stick so should be treated very well.) A good woman is a precious thing. It makes women feel pretty to be wanted. But either the woman is of honorable intentions or she isnt. And it shows. Well the younger one is the less it shows, lol. The older you get the more you can see.

I have done a lot of praying for wisdom & understanding and discernment in my time too.

 

[Sabertooth]

The mentality of deception...

You are still stuck on your hypothetical woman...

 

[Divide]

You have said more than once that you believe women lie.

If you're starting with that proposition, then there is no woman for you.

I havent said that all women lie. I said that most do, and it's true in my experience. It's not hard to read body language and see when people are lying.

You almost have to start with is she honest. She doesn't have to be perfect. I had a wonderful Wife who was an excellant Mother, but she wasnt perfect and I didn't expect her to be. She had her hangups but it was no big deal. Don't sweat the small stuff in Marriage.

But the women in the pool to be a Wife on this earth now were born and raised in a corrupted world. When man sins, it leaves a residue of damage upon the soul. Some women are more damaged than others. This comes from the upbringing they had and the choices that they made in their life which affected them. The worse type pf sins that they have experienced translates into more damage to their soul than a different girl who was raised on a farm by her grandmother and didnt make those same type of poor choices. Even in a fallen world, there are good women out there. Maybe a dozen or so, lol! But in fairness, there are only 7 decent men left, lol. But I dont think it is possible to find a Proverbs 31 Wife in todays world. The girl I married was a good woman and it lasted for 26 years. If I keep with my vow in my younger years, my next Wife must be better, or perhaps there is no woman for me? So what? We're originally only suposed to (ever) have one Wife. So whaere's the problem in that? Gotta be greedy? No.

The SW girl has more than enough damage to be able to be sure of a contentious marriage. She crossed more lines than the other girl so has more damage. It's all she knows, all she was taught. It takes time for people to change. And in the meantime, contention, drama. And it will easily show if she is truely trying to change or just get by for now. Her fruit will show one way or the other. Does she hand you a rotton apple? If I was 23 again I might try it but not now. And I don't care. Know why? My house is SOOOO peaceful now. It's very nice and quiet. I lived in a loud house for a long time raising kids and everybody grown or jumped ship

Scripture says if one can not be trusted with little things then they will not be able to be trusted with big things. When I go looking for a good used car I dont look at the ones first that have obvious damage. Why would I do that? Oh a new coat of paint a new fender and it'll be as good as new! Uhhh, not. One time, one woman, that should be enough for anybody.

There's a certain class of girl that I have never dated. I call them the tropical fish. You know them, they have pink hair or green or blue, tatoos piercings even goth girls are tropical fish. If a women must do that much to herself in her response to who she is and the competition then it's fairly obvious that she has more than one man on her heart. Nope, sorry. I have to go now. (side door creaking)....

 

[Divide]

You are still stuck on your hypothetical woman...

It's got to be a hypothetical woman for me because I am not looking for a wife. I like the house being as peaceful as it is.

 

[Hazelelponi]

Do I marry her because she said she has come out of the world? I cant do that, most women lie. Most. How is a man supposed to trust his (fiance) if her prior industry was built on her lies? How can I trust that girl?
I love her as a Sister in Christ. I don't judge her. I forgive her for her past and do not hold it against her.
But how shall I trust her?

If she was a sex woeker then it's a good bet that she was on drugs too. Would that enhance her trustworthyness or degrade it?

First, how does the Bible say we can know who is Christian?

When you know the above answer, you will know how to gauge whether or not any prospective wife is telling the truth when she says she follows Christ, not just former sex workers.

Also, in the thread title and OP the sex worker in question is a stripper.

That's a person who dances on stage, removing some, but not always all attire, while dancing to music in a sexually provocative manner for tips.

For the stripper specifically, she works in a club surrounded by bouncers and the male customers are not allowed to touch her.

She may be trying to support a child on her own (I imagine the tips are better than IHOP) or get herself through college (decent money, good hours if you're in school all day)

Questions such as whether she once did drugs or even had sex for money are questions that should be answered before marriage but are not necessarily implied in the question.

She could have potentially been a virgin trying to put herself through college for all we know... Strippers don't have sex for money, they are dancers. A stripper could potentially also be a prostitute, but it's not an automatic.

 

[Divide]

Questions such as whether she once did drugs or even had sex for money are questions that should be answered before marriage but are not necessarily implied in the question.

Yeah I know. She was young and needed the money. And let's face it, marriage is big thing. So the OP did sort of open a can of worms and so these are valid things to consider in discussion.

Unless one is froggy and feeling his oats it may not be a good choice to make in women. Even a stripper. She works the floor too. She's well aquainted with the bar scene and making money. But she can't bring that home with her. What kind of wife would that be?

 

[Hazelelponi]

Yeah I know. She was young and needed the money. And let's face it, marriage is big thing. So the OP did sort of open a can of worms and so these are valid things to consider in discussion.

Unless one is froggy and feeling his oats it may not be a good choice to make in women. Even a stripper. She works the floor too. She's well aquainted with the bar scene and making money. But she can't bring that home with her. What kind of wife would that be?

Potentially an honest woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

Sounds like wife material to me...

If she's changed her life around there's nothing there but who she is now.

 

[QuestionQuest74]

The mentality of deception. They've been lying for so long that it is a part of them and she may be trying to be a Christian but will probably also have the little white lie syndrome. Oh that's just a little white lie so that dont matter...

How could a man build a marriage upon that mentality? Most women lie about things that they dont even have to lie about and for stupid reasons.
A man and wife being 100% truthful with each other is the only way that the marriage has any chance whatsoever.

For instance, she messed up and did something wrong. Maybe not a adulterous mistake but she doesnt want to upset me so she lies anyway. Then I waste time trying to solve a problem that doesn't exist. She needs to be truthful even if it is a bad thing. For two reasons. 1. No time is wasted on rabbit trails built out of lies. 2. Even if it is bad, at least they will know that what comes out of her (or his) mouth is something they can count on.

Even if she isnt working the industry anymore she will (probably) still justify a lie/rabbit trail for the small thing she did. Maybe she she splurged too much on herself and spent too much money creating a shortage. How many girls would be like, well I'm sorry but I spent too much....That's not how most women are. They will lie lie lie anyway. So the honesty factor turns out to be a larger issue than her SW trade in her past. If I'm not able to trust her implicitly why would I consider marrying her?

You ever make picked eggs? They turn purple throughout from being soaked in beet juice. The color purple is the residue that it leaves on her soul & spirit from soaking in the SW trade. If she throws off that coat, is she still purple on the inside? You bet she is!
Women shouldnt take offense to being rejected sometimes. So what? There's 4 Billion more fish in the sea. Aint the mans fault if she has baggage from who she used to be. It was her prior poor choices that did this to her, not the man!

There's all sorts of warning signs of this sort of soul damage in a lady even if she is now Born Again and Baptised. When I got born again I wasnt instantly someone else.

Romans
12 I beseech you therefore, brethren, by the mercies of God, that ye present your bodies a living sacrifice, holy, acceptable unto God, which is your reasonable service.

2 And be not conformed to this world: but be ye transformed by the renewing of your mind, that ye may prove what is that good, and acceptable, and perfect, will of God.

3 For I say, through the grace given unto me, to every man that is among you, not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think; but to think soberly, according as God hath dealt to every man the measure of faith.../KJV

By their Fruits you will know them. How do they act? How do they talk? Do you ever catch her studying her Bible? Does she drink? How does she carry herself? These are good questions and for anyone with eyes to see can see who she is right now. Most times I can tell with a single glance their way if they are what I consider to be wife material. If the sweet young lady has had delieverance and was very dedicated to the Lord now....it will show on her. If she's the same old bad girl, that will show too. How many times have people said, I shoulda listened to my instincts!

Is she honest about little things? If a girl will be dishonest about little things then she will be dishonest about big things. I wish her well but I have to go now, lol!
(The dancer girl I dated who would float all over town, I left her sitting in a McDonalds and slipped out the side door!)

I love your realistic response. Unfortunately I think many Christians these days give unrealistic overtly positive responses. Last question why might they be more deceptive ?

 

[Divide]

First, how does the Bible say we can know who is Christian?

When you know the above answer, you will know how to gauge whether or not any prospective wife is telling the truth when she says she follows Christ, not just former sex workers.

Sure. By their fruits you will know them. A good tree can not bring forth bad fruit, a bad tree can not bring forth good fruit. It's not only former SW's it is all women. Good fruit or bad fruit?

What did she say to you? Did she have Jesus on her lips or was she asking you for money? As for seeing people lying that isn't just SW's. A lot of (good) women lie about the stupidest things, that they dont have to lie about. When I had body language training it was very interesting to me so I took it up as an interest and read the other books too, and I got real good at it. My (ex) wife used to say that I am a human lie detector. And there is a lot of women who have never been a stripper and they lie constantly. So it's more about all women first and the SW girls or strippers have crossed more lines than the good girls so any marriage with them would certainly be a challenge.

Life's too short to deal with drunky druggie women or liars. I can love them, forgive them but I dont have to marry them.

 

[RDKirk]

I know but im seeing everyone views on this

Here is a tip I learned as an intelligence analyst:

When goal is to get information from a source and you've finally got them talking...don't argue with them.

 

[Divide]

Potentially an honest woman who is comfortable in her own skin.

Sounds like wife material to me...

If she's changed her life around there's nothing there but who she is now.

You think so? So her sins did no damage to her? What about Romans 12:2 ? Has she been transformed in her mind by the word of God that she never puts down? Or does she even study?

I'm guessing you are a young man because you find that to be wife material? You may change your mind when you are older. But by then, how much contention will there be?